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 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 26
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?Page 2 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

Men typically refuse older women because older women look like hell.


Oh, the misogyny club is out in force.

Not all older women don't look like hell. I am 56, and I don't look like hell. I have women friends my age--and older--who take great pride in the way they look and dress. I go into public and see the same. True, I do see women who look but, but I also see many men, older and younger, who look like hell.

To make a blanket statement about ANY group of people shows a huge bias that tells a lot about the person who makes it: shallow, concerned only with looks, unobservant, and locked into a rigid dogma or perception of the world that is not only limited, but unattractive and mentally/emotionally unhealthy.



I like YOUNG women because YOUNG women LOOK BETTER than old women.Old women are not SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE.


I looked at your profile picture. That is all I have to say about that.


Men "hold up" better over time than women.Women go "down hill" in the looks dept. faster than men.It's a fact of life.


You ARE delusional. Men do not hold their looks any better than do women; it is a matter of taking care of one's self physically AND mentally. I see women in their 60s and 70s whom I consider role models. I also see men who have not taken care of themselves and who, at 55, look 65. I used to date a man who my age and he kept saying that I looked 20 years younger than him. I finally asked him, "Do I look 20 years younger because I look 33, or do I look 20 years younger because you look 73?" He never said it again.

Age is not kind to members of either sex if their genes are programmed a certain way; age is not kind to those who smoke, who are obese, those who live unhappy lives and become bitter and calloused. Mental activity is as important as physical activity.

dregz, methinks that you cling to the illusion that men age better than women because you need to rationalize your own existence. You HOPE men age better than women because you are only going to get older and older, and what little looks you have will be consumed in wrinkles and age spots. You HOPE men age better than women because that prospect is frightening to you. I wonder if you will turn into an even more delusional old man sporting a combover and pretending that no one notices.

But I can tell you this: in order to look good when you are old, you have to look good when you are young, and some people are simply lacking in this department.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 27
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/21/2009 6:47:07 AM
GreasedLightning wrote:

A. the image voting thing (too vain, avoid at all cost!)

B. their mail to age range maybe 3-5 years older but 10-15 year younger. Booty call!


You are right. I don't look at profiles of women nearly as often as I look at profiles of men, but there are many women my age and older who seek younger men.

And though this might be off topic, what IS it with the image rating? It is the epitome of vanity. I saw a forum the other day where a woman had her picture up to be rated, and men weren't rating her high enough--in her opinion! It also hints of desperation, as if they can't get enough validation in real life.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 28
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/21/2009 7:07:54 AM

so whats wrong with a woman wanting somebody who is emotionally stable an some what finacially stable

Nothing wrong with emotional stability, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm not responsible for her financial stability any more than I expect her to be responsible for mine.

that's atleast what you would like to think with somebody who's older that they would be more stable rather then still running around chasing old high school dreams

That's what I mean by ``acts old.'' I get one life to live and I won't be too old to do anything until I'm dead. You're describing exactly the attitude that I do not want in a woman.

an from 1 skirt to the next knocking down any woman if front of him thats his age or older in fear of they might actually slow him down..come on really?

It has nothing to do with chasing from one skirt to the next. I didn't do that even when I was 18. It has to do with a youthfull outlook and idealism.

new flash your the same age..

Only chronologically.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 29
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/21/2009 10:12:07 AM
Men "hold up" better over time than women.Women go "down hill" in the looks dept. faster than men.It's a fact of life.


now that's a dam lie,,i've seen some men in thier late 20's 30's an 40's that look like old prunes in the face with white an grey hairs in thier facial hair an what hair they had left on thier head go along with it,not too mention some had the biggest an saggiest moobs you'd never want to see,,for those of you who dont know what moobs are there man tits,

but i wondered if they look like that now from time an age i can only imagine what another 10 years would really do to them..
 Stephalump
Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 30
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/21/2009 10:46:34 AM
And though this might be off topic, what IS it with the image rating? It is the epitome of vanity. I saw a forum the other day where a woman had her picture up to be rated, and men weren't rating her high enough--in her opinion! It also hints of desperation, as if they can't get enough validation in real life.


I'm not sure why it's even a part of POF, but haven't you ever been curious? The most interesting part to me is looking at the differences between how the different age groups and genders rate pictures. I had a photo rated for a while when I first joined and I was interested to see that women over forty find me quite unattractive!
I've rarely seen a photo rated high enough to truly stroke anyone's ego, unless their pose screams sex.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 31
view profile
History
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/21/2009 11:33:07 AM
After talking with several women my age and older, I've concluded that I simply find the conversations unstimulating and depressing. There's always some health issue that they've got, they're on meds and refuse to or are unable to exercise, so, not to put too fine a point on it, they're looking for a companion to be a fat, lazy blob with. Maybe I'm fishing in the wrong pond, but I seem to attract them like hordes of flies. Or I attract ridiculously young girls young enough to be my daughters (and I'm not really looking for young girls).

I'm thinking someone about 5 years younger would be ideal. I'm 44. A 39-year-old would be perfect. Or, if she's fit as a fiddle, likes to exercise with a passion and is 5 years older, I'm open to that. Sadly, I haven't seen it.
 Stephalump
Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 32
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/21/2009 12:11:39 PM

i heard somebody say if you wont date somebody older then yourself then dont exspect somebody younger to want to date you either..


I don't know about that...
It seems to be that we're more likely to aim for the middle ground than the extremes. Almost averaging our ages out to the mental age we both possess (or wish we possessed.)

I hardly live the life of an average 24 year old, and my SO is youthful and athletic at a lot of ways. He's also the father of a younger child than most men his age. I'd say we both feel more like 32 year olds than our physical ages.

Anyway, I won't date younger. Just doesn't suit me. I can't don't expect that he would date a 60 year old either, when his desire is to live a more YOUTHFUL life, not an older life - unless he found everything he wanted in her!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 33
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/21/2009 1:10:34 PM

After talking with several women my age and older, I've concluded that I simply find the conversations unstimulating and depressing. There's always some health issue that they've got, they're on meds and refuse to or are unable to exercise, so, not to put too fine a point on it, they're looking for a companion to be a fat, lazy blob with.


For the love of the goddess (yes, Gwen's voice has an edge to it), why don't we stereotype and categorize EVERY SINGLE OLD WOMAN ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH by the actions of a few or only the ones with whom this poster and other male posters have come into contact. Let's base "facts" on an entire generation of women on how "several" act, react, and feel.

kpooks, so you like younger women, that is your right and your prerogative, but don't claim it is because older women are uninteresting, unstimulating, depressing, always complain about some ailment that they have, on meds, unable to exercise, etc.

If I were to classify and categorize ALL men 40-65 by the majority with whom I have come into contact on POF, I would have to say that they are uneducated/semi literate, inarticulate, lack imagination, are only interested in sex, defensive, can't deal with even the slightest rejection (even from a total stranger), think women are desperate, and that there is a handbook known only to them from which they get the lines that they use in their emails. Add to that list flaky, lacking responsibility, and don't give a damn about the feelings of others.

However, I am NOT going to judge ALL men by the actions and words of some men. Even if the majority of men acted like that, I still wouldn't judge every man by the boorish actions of others.

Until we are able to judge each individual for WHO s/he is, we have no chance for wisdom. I possess little wisdom, but apparently, I am ahead of those who prejudge all.
 toomuch13
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 34
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/21/2009 2:39:48 PM

I'm not ready to start comparing IRAs and CD's and all that crap. I'd have no objection to dating women my own age if they didn't act that old.


I was dating a 49 year old guy who could only talk about his retirement from the state. It made me feel ancient, since I am actually embarking on a career in academia. His age did not bother me as much as his outlook on life.

Age is not as important as where the person is in life.
 Nicegirl2021
Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 35
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/21/2009 5:49:19 PM
This is a bit of a pet peeve for me too, and the guys usually have care and companionship until they die, the women die alone.
I am guilty of this myself because I usually seek men who are older.
It starts at a young age where we want the guys with money and cars and then just becomes what you are used too. Maybe women are a part of all this too.
 Nicegirl2021
Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 36
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/21/2009 5:51:06 PM
I don't think all men hold up better over time nor do all women it is an individual thing and might have something to do with habits as well.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 37
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/21/2009 7:38:28 PM

why don't we stereotype and categorize EVERY SINGLE OLD WOMAN ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH by the actions of a few or only the ones with whom this poster and other male posters have come into contact. Let's base "facts" on an entire generation of women on how "several" act, react, and feel


I agree with you, Gwendolyn, and there was one male poster, in particular, who I think was just trying to get a reaction with an over the top post about mature women. However, the river doesn't just flow one way, in terms of nasty generalizations by gender. I've read several female posters, who claim "old men" (aka the same age as the woman poster), are this, that, or the other thing, none of which seem true for me, and other men I know in the real world.

When these "gender wars" start, and I hear men or women venting all those nasty assumptions of the other sex, I have to wonder why they came to be on a dating site in the first place.
 danishsweetbread
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 38
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/21/2009 9:44:26 PM
that_girl* on 4/19/2009 6:04:54 PM

i heard somebody say if you wont date somebody older then yourself then dont exspect somebody younger to want to date you either.

I have a confession to make. I went through a period of time wanting to date younger men. I chased after them pretty bad around 10 years younger...(omitting long, tedious story but suffice to say I enjoyed Australia for the time I was there and also got to here an upstate New Yorker call the Bay Area suburbia=land where I live "a ghetto"). After the lastguy dumped me, I realized I had to do some soul-searching and figure out why I was so hot for younger men. I think it came down to wanting to feel more youthful and the fact they seemed initially to accept me more. I woke up to the fact that this is not really true...and went back to opening the range 10 years younger/older (which is what I have on my POF profile restriction now).

On my birthday I got slick offers from drunk PYTs from the party next door crashing my party. I was pretty unmoved, just amused. It really hit me then how much I crave stability, maturity and a honest good-hearted man in my life...and this sadly is outside of any age-range. I really got over my Mrs. Robinson phase quickly. I now notice guys of all ages (like nameless secret crush I have on a POF moderator who is a bit older than me and debonair LOL).

But all kidding aside, we all have a right to want what we want and look for the dream. There is NOTHING wrong with a man puttting "I only date those 36 and under" or "Only redheads need apply". I found it hysterical reading one guy's list of FAILS "if you have mixed hair color, you FAIL".

I only date Xtian guys and I don't want a LDR. ..I have literally crossed off some guys since they did not fit into those requirements. Was that wrong? Nope. It is also not wrong for somebody to have age requirements and they may be successful finding what they want. More power to them!

going to do laundry now...any excuse to put off the laundry on a hot day, in a hot common share laundry room in a condoplex...*sigh*
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 39
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/21/2009 10:19:05 PM

i'm curious how come he took down his photo?


Cuz I got tired of all the first contact emails from younger women, OP.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/22/2009 10:17:29 AM

Why is it that a woman's life expectency is about 7-8 years longer then a man?

I think that was covered on the first page. Something about the precious she-devils sucking the life force out of men...
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 41
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/22/2009 10:30:16 AM

Men typically refuse older women because older women look like hell.It's totally about SEX.I know this because I'm a heterosexual man.I like YOUNG women because YOUNG women LOOK BETTER than old women.

LOL...posts the guy with NO picture in his profile because he's probably balding and out of shape. You go ahead and keep believing the young honeys are going to find you attractive as you get older, balder and fatter.

Let me know how that's working for ya.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 42
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/22/2009 3:03:01 PM

And anyway, why is having a pic so important? Aren't you women always saying that "inner beauty" and "self-confidence", not physical shape, are what really matters?


I am a woman, and no, I don't say this. SOME women do and SOME men say it, too.

A pic is important because everyone wants to check the other person out--you know that. It is amusingly contradictory, but even people without pics want to check out the pics. I get emails from men complimenting me on how I look in my pics, yet they have none! If a man wants to approach me from a physical point, he needs to have pictures prominently displayed.


Men typically refuse older women because older women look like hell.It's totally about SEX.I know this because I'm a heterosexual man.I like YOUNG women because YOUNG women LOOK BETTER than old women.


I teach at a college. I am surrounded by women in their 20s who can't walk up a flight of stairs because they are out of breath by the time they reach the top. I see young women stuffed in pants with their flabby bellies hanging over the too tight waistbands. I see the "egg" women--when they sit down, they look like Humpty-Dumpty. I see the fat girls wear hip-hugging pants with shirts they can't keep pulled down; their stomachs and sides look like road maps of stretch marks--and they haven't had kids.

I was at the laundry yesterday; there was a young woman there and true, she had no wrinkles, but her body bulged over the top of her too tight bra, under her too tight bra, and over her too tight pants.

And no, it isn't just the women; there are as many male counterparts.

And yes, there are older women/men who look the same.

Again, you generalize and make blanket statements. SOME young women look better than some older women; SOME older women look better than some young women. I look better now than I did when I was young because I weigh anywhere from 80-1oo pounds less than I did in my 20s-early 40s.

So, poster of the above quote--you should say that you like hard-bodied, firm young women over overweight, flabby old women; otherwise, your statement doesn't hold up.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 43
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/22/2009 3:43:24 PM

Again, you generalize and make blanket statements. SOME young women look better than some older women; SOME older women look better than some young women.


I said something much like this earlier in the thread, but not anywhere near as succinctly and elegantly as Gwendolyn.

I know some women in their 50s, who are stunningly beautiful, and the vast majority of women, of any age, who I would not be interested in, in terms of dating.

The reason that I have been involved with younger women, when I have been, is because they approached me, whereas the more attractive women in their 50s, are far less likely to do so.

All things considered, when I'm actively looking, I look first at women over 45, but age is far less important than other factors of attraction.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/22/2009 4:11:09 PM
The reason that I have been involved with younger women, when I have been, is because they approached me, whereas the more attractive women in their 50s, are far less likely to do so.

That was my first response when I saw the thread title: No women my own age (give or take) are asking me out on any dates, either here or in real life, nor are they even taking the first little baby steps in that direction (i.e., "checking me out", chatting with me, inquiring into my relationship status, etc.) so it's not like I'm refusing to date women my own age and older. I get no indication that such women have any interest in going out on a date with me.

Yep, I have age restrictions on my profile, but it's strictly related to wanting to cut down on forum related "noise" in my mailbox (and the accompanying housekeeping duties). Such age restrictions make no difference so far as my dating life goes since, like I said, I was never contacted by anyone local anyway when I had no age restrictions. I don't think my profile has even been viewed more than a couple of times by someone local matching the "my own age or older" description in the couple of years I've been around here.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 45
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/22/2009 4:49:29 PM

if you flash the cash, yes they will come, when its spent, yes they will go


Apropos of nothing at all, some people assume that what's true of them, is true for everyone. However, the young women I've dated in my life, were NOT for rent, and didn't regard a relationship as an exchange of "sex for cash".
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 46
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/22/2009 5:00:14 PM
i won't date a sexist pig like that. who cares what they think. honestly? there is no brain. there is a d ick......that probally doesn't even work with viagra
and
also needs extends to satisfy a real woman in bed
they probally don't know how to give a woman an orgasm and have erctile dsyfuctunction problems EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! I would rather mastrubate to a hottie!!!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 47
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:17:41 PM

No women my own age (give or take) are asking me out on any dates, either here or in real life, nor are they even taking the first little baby steps in that direction (i.e., "checking me out", chatting with me, inquiring into my relationship status, etc.) so it's not like I'm refusing to date women my own age and older. I get no indication that such women have any interest in going out on a date with me.

Yep, I have age restrictions on my profile, but it's strictly related to wanting to cut down on forum related "noise" in my mailbox (and the accompanying housekeeping duties). Such age restrictions make no difference so far as my dating life goes since, like I said, I was never contacted by anyone local anyway when I had no age restrictions. I don't think my profile has even been viewed more than a couple of times by someone local matching the "my own age or older" description in the couple of years I've been around here.


Ok, ^^^^ is a joke, right? Attempted sarcasm? And I must ask, are younger women approaching you either online or in real life?

I have seen you in forums before, but never bothered to check out your profile for several reasons that I won't go into because I don't want to get banned again.

Truthfully, it is no wonder that women your age don't approach you. You have more stipulations on your profile than Carter has little liver pills. Even if I were a young woman, I wouldn't approach you because of what you say and how you say it. Local women MIGHT be checking out your profile with the hidden viewer option, but decide that they don't want to know you.

And what's this--you have AGE restrictions but you don't really mean it? I don't see how that works, but silly me, I try to be logical.

In addition, you have no picture, and saying that POF must not have liked the one of Tom Petty that you posted is no excuse.

Beyond that, your chosen ID (which is a very old and tired double entendre) and the "pictures" of women--one ending in "eat me" would turn off quite a few women.

Stop using excuses.
 secretagentman99
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 48
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/23/2009 4:28:12 AM

i won't date a sexist pig like that. who cares what they think. honestly? there is no brain. there is a d ick......that probally doesn't even work with viagra
and also needs extends to satisfy a real woman in bed
they probally don't know how to give a woman an orgasm and have erctile dsyfuctunction problems EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! I would rather mastrubate to a hottie!!!


And who said you were a real woman? I figured a real woman would be swarmed with real studs of men to make you happy, so how woud you even know that the need viagra or extends. Unless you're doing thr Anna Nicole Smith route and dating old men for their money.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 49
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/23/2009 6:34:34 AM

By the way, "excuses" are given when we owe explanations. We don't owe women explanations about our dating preferences.


None of us have to defend our choices in life, but when we come into these "public" places, we are opening ourselves to criticism.

There is a lot of explaining done on POF by men AND women. Sometimes, I read what appears to be an honest explanation to answer an OP's question, but in this thread, it truly looks as if quite a few of the men are giving excuses to validate why they date younger women.

I would have nothing to say to their reasons IF the reasons were truly valid and not across the board condemnations of ALL old women, or statements that simply aren't true. ALL old women are fat; ALL old women are boring; women my age don't contact me; I am just too young acting for old women--the list given by men goes on, but there are many, many exceptions.

And if the list were being compiled by women, it would be filled with the same types of excuses.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 50
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:10:40 AM

Curious that you say that, when it's mostly women who react badly to criticisms in these threads.


From my perspective, I see just about as many men as women who react badly to criticisms. I have seen men call women some rather derogatory names in response to rather mild comments; I have seen women do the same.


Who are you (or anybody else, at that) to say if a reason is "truly valid" or not? It's valid FOR THAT PERSON, and that's all that matters.


Logic tells me if a reason is valid or not. If a man/woman says that he/she won't date someone older because older people are fat, stupid, uninteresting, etc., that person, by default, puts him/herself in those categories simply by his/her age. He/she CANNOT be the only exception!

And au contraire, if it were true that only whether a person considers his/her reason valid or not, the individuals who give the reasons wouldn't get defensive when criticized; indeed, most of them wouldn't even post. If we lived in individual vacuums where we truly didn't care about what others have to say, we wouldn't be in forums on POF making posts.


If you don't want "across the board condemnations", perhaps you should stop making these types of threads. Remember, men don't go out and say these things out of the blue.


I can only assume, logically, that you are addressing me personally in this post since you are quoting me. I didn't start this forum, nor have I begun a forum close to this topic.

You are intensely centered and intensely defensive about what you perceive as criticism of MEN, yet I have been very careful to include women in what I say.

By virtue of your circular reasoning, I could say that women don't say these things out of the blue, either, but it would be not only a truism, it would fall on deaf ears (but obviously, I said it anyway!)


And many, many times when their statements are true. If you are going to be a stickler for using "some", then demand that also from those women who classify ALL men who don't want an old woman as "not real men", "immature" or whatever crap they need to say in order to convince themselves that they're still attractive.


I have to wonder if the wording in my posts are so obtuse or vague that you cannot seem to grasp my points. I can't demand anything, can I? I can point out the futility and shortsightedness of those who use "all" instead of "some." I have also consistently put women in the same category as men.


Really? Would those women be questioned in their womanhood and mental level, ranted against, ridiculed and bashed? I don't think so.


Again, you don't seem to grasp much of what I have posted. Yes, I WOULD point out, and have pointed out, that neither sex is innocent of bashing. I have pointed out women who seem to be misandrists in other forums .


Do you really think that such "Lets insult men into dating us. That'll work" approach is the right one?


Show me where I insulted men as a whole. Show me where I made negative comments about the habits of ALL men. I pointed out the fallacies of individual men, but not ALL men feel the same way as they do-and I know this for a fact because I know a few men. In fact, I can't even see where I insulted the men to whom I did respond; there is a difference between saying I disagree and explaining why I disagree and insulting.

It would be ludicrous for a man or a woman to be in the company of someone who is consistently disparaging of either sex. I tend to avoid "all or nothing" people, and I don't stay long in the company of anyone whose negativity outweighs his/her positive outlooks.

Bitterness, insults, condemnations of an entire sex, be it male or female, is not becoming or productive. I truly try to judge individuals as individuals; I suggest that you do the same, but it is only a suggestion.
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