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 weathervanes
Joined: 3/31/2010
Msg: 124
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?Page 23 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
^^^^^ What happened to two people meeting?....to much paranoia and mistrust I assume...nice post btw
 Passionate_Cher
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 126
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 11/17/2011 1:26:58 PM
Very well said!! There is such a thing as Chemistry...it out weighs age.. ethnicity...body type and so one! Either it is there or it isn't!
 _allen_
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 129
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 11/18/2011 3:37:58 PM
I would love to date women my age. In fact, I usually target my searches towards women between the ages of 30 to 40. Unfortunately, 30-40 year old women seem to have no desire in dating me. In fact, over the years, I've never dated a women over the age of 29 and it's not for the lack of trying to date 30-40 y/o women.

I've been only as faithful to who has shown me interest, and that has been 23-29 y/o women. I'll be honest, for the most part, 23-29 y/o women have not been at the maturity level I look for in women and have enjoyed spending time with these women as oppose to spending the weekend/weeknights alone. Their company has been wonderful. As for something longterm, I usually don't see it.
 JCinVicBC
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 130
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 11/19/2011 5:33:11 AM
Most women my age tend to be at a different stage in their life, have totally different interests, and basically nothing in common with me other than age. There are exceptions, but they're rare, like needle in a haystack rare. Whereas women half my age, maybe 1 in 5 would be a great match for me (mostly comes down to her taste in music--if she likes electronic music, but not dubstep or electrohouse, then as long as she doesn't smoke, we're probably gonna be a great couple).

Aside from that, women tend to start declining rapidly in looks around 30. Not all women, some do age well, but most seem to transition from young to old around 30. Even so, I'm willing to go up to 35. I'd even go older, for something short term or casual. There are certainly women out there in their late 30s and 40s whom I still find attractive--not many, but there are some. Basically, I want a few years with her before she reaches that point, to get to the point in our relationship where I'll love her and make love to her regardless of what she looks like.

That said, I don't have any age restrictions for contact on my profile. If I'm attracted to someone, and we have a lot in common, I wouldn't refuse to date her based on her age, but I'd let her know that I probably wouldn't be interested in a long-term relationship if she's outside the age range I'm looking for. There's always the possibility I could be wrong, and I'm open to that.


Unfortunately, 30-40 year old women seem to have no desire in dating me.


Really? A handsome guy like you?
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 131
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 11/19/2011 6:38:42 AM
I've probably wrote my thoughts in this thread already but forgot...lol...so here goes again.

Look, whether two people of different ages, and wildly different ages, find each other attractive enough to have a relationship I say go ahead. My problem is when it falls apart and they go on forums like this b*tching about the reasons, when it's simple for most everyone to see the huge age difference was the main culprit.

For me, at my age, any woman more than 8-10 years younger and more than 10 years older brings up too many issues. There's differences not only in age but likes, tastes, social implications, health, whether she has young kids (and I've found there are many in their 40's that do), etc. Sooner than later all issues "will" surface and become acute enough to interfere with the health of the relationship. Whether it takes a week or month or year is immaterial.

To me it all comes down to motives. If one is purposely looking for someone 15-20-25 years younger or older there's a psychological dysfunction going on. Whatever one wants to call it -- Mommy-Daddy complexes, unusual fixations and attractions to much younger-older partners, going after rich old men/women but hiding it as "love", etc. -- it's the real, underlying motive. Most don't even realize it and go their whole lives blissfully unaware of the nature of their attractions.

I just want honesty about "why" people go after partners with big age differences and not the sugarcoated, stock answers about it all being about love and respect. Most such relationships are definitely NOT about those things.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 132
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 11/19/2011 9:34:59 AM
Femaleandflirty wrote:

Well younger is hotter right?? It is an ego boost to have the trophy blonde on your arm and to incite the envy of the other guys....but we all know the older guys who want the young bird will have to pay for the privilege, one way or another. They also dont realise how ridiculous they look with a girl who looks like their daughter and it only makes them seem even older.....

You still don't get it. So many women have their head in the sand it's amazing. But then again, I guess you believe the delusions you spread. So much gossip, so little time, right?
Men don't care what other people think about the woman we're with. There's no such thing as a 'trophy wife'. We don't date women so other people can look at her and go, 'Ooooo, what a great guy he must be to 'get' a woman like that!'. Men date, and marry, a woman we're sexually attracted to; that, unfortunately for those women who look old, is usually not you, which is why you're so pissed off about it, and make up silly reasons why another woman might be more attractive to him than you are; you simply can't accept the concept that another woman is more attractive than you are. It's why there's a multi billion dollar industry revolving around trying to look young. Evolution 'geared' us to be attracted to women just past sexually reproductive maturity, when you're least likely to have picked up a disease, and when you are most fertile, as well have the energy to take care of our kids. We're also wired to be attracted to those women who are the most likely to be physically healthy, and that rules out those who are excessively fat or emaciated. Same way evolution 'geared' you to be attracted to men who are good providers and protectors. We don't get to choose any of this. Sure, you will find people who don't fit 'the mold', but most of the population still does. So stop deluding yourself and making excuses, and try to be what your 'market' is interested in, or remain 'on the shelf'. Trophy wife......the myth just goes on and on and on and on. So go ahead, believe it if it makes you feel better about yourself. Won't change the fact that it's false. But women like to cling to fantasies (like the one about the prince coming to make your life wonderful, even though Lady Di proved that one wrong too).
 ButlerButler
Joined: 4/6/2011
Msg: 133
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 11/19/2011 10:06:21 AM
I am looking for a woman ten or more years younger than me. Why? Well, a couple of reasons, but principally, I have to be sexually attracted to them, right? I mean, however good we get along, ultimately, I have to have sex with them. That means I need to be physically attracted to them. I see very, very few women my age who I consider sexually attractive. The great majority are overweight, for one thing. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not condemning. Some people like women who are overweight. I am completely unattracted to such women, and can't do a thing about it. I like slim/skinny/thin/fit women. And if I saw an attractive, slim woman my age I wouldn't hesitate. It's just that I don't. Ever. I'm not attracted to saggy boobs, either. Sorry. Just being honest. Am i Mr. Beautiful? Nope. But I'm not fat. Not bald. And I have a decent job, house, car, bank account and investments. I'm also not crazy. Not desperate for a woman anyway. If I see one that's cute and interesting, and fun, okay. But in most cases cute = younger.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 135
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 11/19/2011 12:47:25 PM
When i was FIRST newly single at 37.ish.. i dated MOSTLY older guys.. up to 50.

Why?.. because there were so so so so many looking at me.. The opportunities boggled my mind. AND they were so pleased they "bagged" a younger lady. They were grateful.

But now that im 46..i prefer men close to my age.. all the men 10 yrs older and plus look like senior citizens.. I am so not ready to retire.. nor buy stock in Viagra.. blah
 JCinVicBC
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 136
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 11/20/2011 5:45:36 AM

your 36 an the highest you would go is 35yrs or maybe older for short term or only casual.. really? how so..by the way you look older then 36yr yourself


I know I do, but I'm not. I was once mistaken for a 25-year-old when I was 12 (though I can hardly believe that myself). Nothing I can do about that though.

Ya, 35 has been my cutoff since I was 15. Since I haven't had any luck dating in all that time, I'm not ready to change it yet. I may be packing on the years, but I'm still young. I don't really want to date someone old, as there's little chance of the relationship working.


second of all women tend to age more gracefully as we get older,,ive seen men who claim to be in thier 20yrs but yet look to be mid to late 30s early 40yrs,


Ya, men tend to decline more gradually, starting at about 15, and most are already looking old by the time they hit 30. I agree, women tend to age more gracefully than men as they get into their 50s and 60s. It's just that most seem to go through a dramatic jump in aging around 30-35, sometimes a little later.


she may indeed list the same reasons why as you did why she is not intrested in somebody your age


I would fully understand if a woman felt that way. I'm looking for one who doesn't (if I do indeed date someone younger than myself). Some women like older men. Some like younger men. Some men like older women. Some like younger women. But to me, common interests and values are much more important than looks, and that's where I'd really have difficulty (generally) dating someone my age or especially older.

Don't get the idea that anything I posted here is a hard and fast rule. There's always the possibility of exceptions. Favourited a very hot 37 year old a few days ago.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 137
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 11/20/2011 9:13:58 AM
I do so, so that my mega millions in wealth can be used after I depart.

(running to my mail box to see how that is gonna work-cuz being honest isn't)
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 138
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 11/23/2011 11:16:28 AM
I guessed women same like their age are bald and have a beer belly.
 ButlerButler
Joined: 4/6/2011
Msg: 139
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 11/23/2011 1:26:20 PM
You date younger men but think men who want to date younger women are creepy and punching above their weight? Uhm... Okaayyyy
 JCinVicBC
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 146
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 11/26/2011 6:11:16 AM

take for example music.

go to a rave party, or techno, electro, hardcore etc.
the crowd is usually younger than for
latin, country, rock or metal.

so, if a man prefers the newest music genres,
chances are he will meet a girl that is younger than him.


Yep. There are sometimes a few people at raves on the older side, but they're pretty rare. I've got a friend who is in his late 60s and is into electronic music. A few friends in their late 30s and into their 40s who are into it, but they're mostly fairly well-known DJs, and it's their career. I see very few women at that age who are into it these days, unless they were into it in their teens or 20s, and stuck with it all this time, like me. It's a huge part of my life, and it would be difficult to have a relationship with someone who isn't into it.

Whereas...well, country I can't stand, so I can't comment on it. But you go to a rock concert, it's gonna be full of people my parents' age. Metal, too, was basically at its peak in the late 70s to late 80s, and most of the crowd is probably gonna range from my age to about 15 years older. I actually was into it in elementary school and high school though...but was never into "metal chicks" except Doro Pesch. And just not really into it much any more.
 john_in_bh
Joined: 12/25/2004
Msg: 148
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 12/10/2011 12:22:32 PM
Having looked at perhaps ten thousand profiles over the years of women of various ages, I have noticed that for the most part girls that are under 30 have NO age restrictions while over 30 does. I am curious to comments on this observation. (I know it's not the exact topic, but in the same area).
 john_in_bh
Joined: 12/25/2004
Msg: 149
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 12/10/2011 1:48:29 PM
That's a pretty good explanation..thanks.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 151
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 12/21/2011 12:24:31 PM

For me, I don't find many women my age and older sexually attractive. I am not going to pay to be with someone I am not attracted to. I would rather spend time with friends.


Dude, I'm with you--I NEVER pay for a male escort unless I find him attractive.
 ezlivin313
Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 152
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 12/21/2011 4:16:51 PM
Lets face it... its all about mutual attraction. Picture and words or words and picture. Then it goes on to the next level of meeting.
It dont even have to be here in pof. It can be a conversation at a bus stop, car wash, church or where ever. People attract for reasons of their own. Sometimes it cus opposites attract. Older meets younger, younger meets older.. man/woman, woman/man who cares as long as theres compatability and respect. If theres nothing genuine about the relationship and what it means then end it with a handshake and a hug. No hard feelings and guess what??? You may have a friend for life..... peace
 NJGuyDC
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 153
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 12/22/2011 1:59:35 PM
I agree that is why I seek out ladies who are 39-42 to still hold onto the dream of being a biological dad. Otherwise what do I care if the lady is older. Or a lady who has a kid who needs love and guidance young enough to feel like I am making a difference in that child's life.
 MyScreennameRox
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 154
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 12/22/2011 5:16:29 PM
I'm 39, I don't like dating gals my age because in almost every instance, they have kids.

While I like kids, I don't want someone else's. I also don't want to take second place to her kids. Most gals place their kids as their top priority (the way it SHOULD be, I expect and respect that but that means I enter the equation starting at second fiddle with no hope of advancement, ever. Also when I DID date gals with kids, I cannot even begin to count the number of times I've had to alter/cancel plans repeatedly because something came up with their kid(s).

I tend to get demonized for holding this point of view but oh well, I am definitely NOT sorry.
 john_in_bh
Joined: 12/25/2004
Msg: 156
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 12/23/2011 7:52:43 AM

But I will also say one of the reason men want younger women is because the impression is an older woman will want to get married, have kids, etc.. a lot sooner then a younger woman who isnt even thinking about that yet..


That's a great point and true. Then, once the woman has kids she divorces her husband and comes on POF as a single mom.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 157
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 12/24/2011 11:14:15 AM
I have a friend who is a 60 yr old woman (I'm 36). I met her when we were both art students at Indiana University in the late 1990s. Even though she's quite a bit older than me (same age as my mom, actually), she is one of the hottest women I know. It isn't just her looks, though she is pretty and has a nice body, its that she is extremely intelligent. Very, Very few women are as smart and as intellectual as that. Most people in general are idiots. I'd marry my old friend. Someone like that is what I want, no matter what her age.

I know I'm strange though. Most men go for looks only, and an old woman doesn't look as good as a young one, no matter how pretty she is. I want someone I can talk to who isn't bored by someone like me and who won't bore me. Most women bore me, and I bore them.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 158
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 12/26/2011 5:31:33 PM
I have found a few women in their 50 and 60 very attractive. They were of course very fit. But no mistaking they were older than my mother, which I still find weird. They to felt weird that I was around the same age as their children.
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