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 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 101
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?Page 5 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

if a man only dated women that were many years younger than he is, why would a woman his age even want him?


She wouldn't, if she were an emotionally healthy woman. She wouldn't care, one way or the other. It's really only those who aren't happy with their own choices, or lack thereof, and want to find others to "blame" for their poor results, who focus on things like this.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 102
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/27/2009 7:47:07 AM
Yea, I too love the smell of frustrated female narcissism first thing in the morning.

I wish society valued aging women more...
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 103
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/27/2009 9:08:59 AM
Re: Post #201
<div class="quote">Dont let your worth as a woman and human being be based on looks or youth.

If only this poster followed her own advice, then the rest of the post wouldn't have the bitter overtones.

No emotionally healthy person allows his or her self-identity to be defined externally by the dating market. How "in demand" someone perceives herself/himself to be, in terms of dating, it has nothing to do with one's value to the world, or in the eyes of God.

Dating is but one aspect of life, something that is, especially for mature adults, an optional part of life that, with the right partner, could greatly enhance life for both, but if with the wrong person, makes life far worse.


<div class="quote">I read it here all the time,men saying women lose their youth etc as if men dont.

All the time? Really? In this thread, I read posts from two men, who said something like that, compared to pages and pages of "man bashing" based on invalid stereotypes of men, who have happened to have dated younger women. The majority of men, who have commented in this thread, haven't said anything negative about women close to their age, and in the world at large, most people are dating within their general age group.

I have dated younger women, at times, but it was never because of a single minded quest to do so, nor because I "refused" to date women closer to my age. It was based on who seemed to be in my "available universe" at a time, when I felt ready to "find someone" with whom to share a portion of life, for however long it lasted.

There is a woman in her 50s, who, when I look at her, literally takes my breath away, and leaves me indifferent to even the most physically attractive 30 something. She also has a personality and attitude that make me want to be "around" her. It's not age, at least for me, that determines attraction and interest. On the other hand, I'm not interested in unattractive women with bad attitudes, no matter what the age.

What it boils down to, I think, isn't that women can't find men, who are interested in them. There are always others who are interested. Read the whiny posts from men, who suffer from the same delusions "women should love me, because I'm a nice guy", "why won't women answer my email?", and so on, ad nauseum. There are literally millions of men, for whom the only "requirement" is that she be female. It's that, for some women, the men they find attractive, aren't interested. Physical attraction is a natural component of romantic interest, and it's as true for women, as it is for men.

If one is unsuccessful in finding anyone, who she finds attractive, then perhaps she needs to adjust to what the market is telling her. Perhaps she just isn't being realistic in her expectations. The emotionally healthy response to that is to either be more realistic about the "dating market", and focus on those who are similar, in terms of attractiveness, to those who have been interested in you in the past, or to do something to increase your "market worth". One can work on "acceptance" of reality, and stop daydreaming about extraordinarily wealthy men, who just stepped off a magazine cover, and start looking amongst those more ordinary men, who have the same qualities as others she has dated in the past. All that bashing and bitterness accomplish is for you to develop a toxic attitude, so that no one would want you in his/her life.

I am willing to bet, that almost any woman on here, if she were realistic about it, and started searching profiles of only those men, who she would say are her realistic opposite numbers, in terms of physical looks, and then sent out 100 first contact emails, would have too many positive responses to keep up. However, I suppose, it's easier to moan and complain and blame men, than to actually DO something constructive.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 104
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/28/2009 7:38:36 AM

Nope. No complaints. Face it,young men that date older-much older-women are very desperate. Not to mention bizarre. Hop to it young studs!

And women who date older - much older men aren't desperate or bizarre? How is this not the same thing in reverse?

Not sure why one is ok and the other isn't also ok. Makes no sense, there's virtually no difference.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 105
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/28/2009 9:05:15 AM

Of course men in my age group don't care if I see younger guys, why should they?

Actually, we encourage it. Helps thin out the riff-raff (competition), while making the target demo group think they need to up their game.
It's a win-win all around.

Except for the gripers, who've acquired the belief they're somehow entitled to something resembling ownership over others.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 106
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/28/2009 9:10:09 AM
At my age its about companionship and compatibility.


Which is precisely the sort of attitude that would turn me off, regardless of age. A romantic relationship, for me, also has to have a strong sexual component. If I wanted just companionship, I'd get a dog. If I just want someone to "do stuff with", I'll do them with friends, and it won't be "dancing" or the opera.

Which is part of "why", at times in my past, when I had a choice to date someone closer my age, who was focused on "being great friends" who "go dancing", etc; or a younger woman with an active sex drive, I've chosen the younger woman.

Increasingly, as we grow older, there are more and more of our peers, men and women, who are no longer all that interested in the sexual side of a relationship, so it is increasingly difficult to find those women, closer to my age, who are still attractive, and who want a "full" relationship, with an active sex life.

So, for me, the "ideal" is to find that rare woman my age, who still "has it". When I haven't been able to readily find such a woman, and a younger woman makes her interest known, then why in the world wouldn't I have gone down that path.

Decisions....decisons....."companionship" and "dancing"......or exciting and playful....
I always have chosen "Option B", if that's the choice to make.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 107
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/28/2009 10:43:37 AM

Moonbeamlover---In the case of Carmella's posts (in here at least), I honestly am not reading them as vengeful and bitter towards guys in any way shape or form. I see them as being a healthy advocate to women for women to make sure they themselves don't end up bitter or vengeful


Moonbeam lover, you seem to be a very nice person, who tries to find the "good" in others. Those are admirable qualities.

However, these are quotes from just one paragraph of her most recent post:


.The women are doing it for security, and a father complex........Once men reach midthirties they retire from all hard sports as their legs go.In middle age you have ED and lower testosterone levels, lower libido.Do young women want that really.I guess a handsome milk man comes in handy or the hot pool cleaner


Fact is, her posts are littered with negative stereotypes of men, and erroneous assumptions of younger/older dating relationships.

Such as:

Women do it for "money"...(security), or because they are emotionally maladjusted (father complex)

Older men "all" have ED and weak libidos.

If a younger woman has a relationship with an older man, she will "obviously be unfulfilled" and of such low character, that she'll have an affair with the milk man or pool boy.

Seriously, Moonbeamlover, are these the thoughts of someone who is serene and uncaring about who others date, and who has found self-validation?

Truth is, she's but one example of many women in this thread, who seem to take it personally, when men close to her age date younger women.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 108
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/28/2009 11:15:27 AM

Renaissance - its easy to cherry pick a post to suit an agenda and all those facts about older men are true and the truth is bitter not me.


No, those things you post as "facts" ( "all older men have ED, and weak libidos", "younger women are with older men for money, or because they're emotionally maladjusted") aren't "facts". They are bitter shibboleths thrown out to demonize older men, who "dare" to date younger women, based on nothing but distorted beliefs that some women use to give comfort to themselves, when they are unable to self-validate or find serenity enough to say "to each his own".

By contrast, several women in here have posted about their preference for younger men. I don't feel "threatened" or "angry" about that. I think it's great, if it's working for them, and hope they find happiness.

The irony in all this is that most men don't "refuse" to date women their own age, even men who sometimes date younger. In point of fact, there is a woman I know in her 50s who absolutely takes my breath away. However, if the choice is between a bitter, angry, judgmental woman, regardless of her age, and one who is positive, and has a warm personality, it's not even a close call. In fact, if all there were to date were the bitter, angry and unattractive, I wouldn't date at all.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 109
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/28/2009 11:31:44 AM
old soul--I get that respect on these boards seems to go one way only and that no matter what I, as an older woman may say on these type of threads, I will be seen as desparate, jealous, envious OR delusional.


Old Soul, you are generally a poster I respect a great deal. In this case, though, I don't know what thread you've been reading, because it seems to me that the disrespectful generalizations have been 2:1 women bashing men, to those men who feel some perverse need to bash women.

Now, if a woman chooses to post that "all older men can't get it up", or "younger women who date older men are dysfunctional", yeah, she does come across as bitter and angry, and, from my perspective, totally undateable. That's not about age....it's about disposition.

In any case, most men, even when dating younger, aren't doing so, because they "refuse" to date older women, or because of finding something "wrong" with women their own age. Dating is usually about opportunity, and who happens to be in your available universe.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 110
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:28:43 PM

Obviously,you don't even know what misogyny means.
Misogyny is the hatred of ALL women.
I love women;young physically attractive women


Degz, I assume that you just want to stir the shyte. "young" and "physically attractive" are NOT synonomous, nor are "older" and "physically attractive" mutually exclusive.

There are a lot of unattractive younger women, and some stunningly beautiful women in their 50s and into their 60s.

If a woman is judgmental, angry and bitter, whether young or old, she would, for me, be undateable, and there are some posters in this thread who fit that category, both young and older.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 111
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/28/2009 2:20:05 PM

It's not true that there has ever been a "stunningly beautiful" woman 50/60 yrs. old. I've never seen this,ever. Maybe on some other planet. Not this one.


Then you're inexperienced. I have always dated women who were, by conventional standards, "very attractive". The nice thing is, as I've gotten older, my eyes have aged and it's expanded my appreciation of women.

I still see beauty in young women, but I see it also in women close to my age. I know some women, one in particular, who takes my breath away.... In some ways, a woman who is beautiful in her 50s, is the most beautiful of all, and that she is, says more about her, than it would have at 25.

Seriously, dregz, don't be a troll, and don't engage me on this. Don't take a knife to a gun fight, my man.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 112
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/28/2009 4:01:40 PM
Diablera Bruja,

"64" is a beautiful song, implying people who have been together for many years, and love lasting. There is another one, "Once, twice, three times a lady" about two people who were married a lifetime.

However, when we are dating, to meet someone new, attraction is a natural part of initial selection. In the context of this thread, for me, attraction is not about age. It's about mutual attraction.

There may be a few people for whom "looks don't matter" for initial attraction, but it's true for very few. There are women in their 50s who are attractive, and men in their 50s, who are attractive to women. No matter how munch unattractive women complain, the truth is, if I'm not attracted, I'm not going to enter into a relationship with someone, as I wouldn't expect a woman, who isn't attracted to me, wouldn't enter a relationship with me. THere's nothing shallow about that. It's a very natural response to human instinct.
 AdrianEsquire
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 113
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/28/2009 10:10:17 PM
Men and women are not equivalent in aging.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 114
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/29/2009 8:38:17 AM
very good post Diablera Bruja

also

Most of the older woman , are not jealous or bitter, they are fed up with being called old by men the same age as them.The double standard and inequality.Age is equitable -to the male poster who posted that.In fact men have more health problems as they age, are more prone to heart problems and women live longer.Both suffer hormone drops, both get wrinkles, mens bodies sag too and both age. Men are not exempt.To say anything else is just living in denial.Its about power and who has it , not age.



i agree it's like a 5'2 person calling somebody the same height as them short,,it's pretty ridiculous your both the same height so why name call at the other person when thier in the same boat as you.. ya we all gotta get older an die some day ..so why pretend like it doesn't exsist or will never happen to you..

running from or avoiding people your own age wont slow down the aging process or make you look years younger, infact all the running an chasing after younger skirts may just add some years onto you not to mention help your wallet an bank account become a little lighter,nothing comes for free anymore..

an sometime you got to realize that ya just can't keep up or do it anymore like you used to be able to back at 19 or 21..
 Monty0791
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 115
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/29/2009 4:02:33 PM
Me personally I'm open to women 20-36.I highly doubt anyone close to my age will date me.Men and women mature at different levels.I do what I need to do as far as responsibilities are concerned but I like to go out and have fun still.Most my friends are 18-25 on the average .Its just the average age of car club I'm in with a few of us older members. I live alone and have no children so why not go out and have fun and act like I'm 21 again from time to time.I'm attracted to a lot of women my age most of them want me to change over night give up on my life's interests to raise there kids.I'm not against dating single mothers but I'm not going to stop being me either.I may be almost 31 but mentally I'm still in my mid twenties.
 Monty0791
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 116
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/29/2009 4:31:39 PM
I don't know.There is a woman on this site that lives right around the corner from me.Shes a year older if i remember correctly ,we met on another site.In our first phone conversation she had the attitude that my car club would have to go.My car club is something I'm passionate about and has been a very good influence on me good friends good times.Its not all just shows and having fun we do charity too.May 10th is the walk for breast cancer and a few of us including me are going to do it.Its a Scion car club and since I'm 30 most women look down on that at my age.I also wont date someone that hates it either.Older women seem to be to judgmental when it comes to a guys hobbies.I maybe 30 but I'm not ready to be 50 yet.
 mlt71
Joined: 1/5/2009
Msg: 117
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/29/2009 4:51:25 PM
That girl
I will be honest and plain and right to the point.

Young women are having sex and women your age and older all sex out.
I mean you been there and done that. Now you on a level of getting married and slowing down.
I don't know why men put age out there.
For me my penis don't have a age restrictions. I don't care if a woman is 19 or 45 if she want to hook up. I don't think my penis going to be fighting on the fact she not my age.

Men want young women to have sex with. They feel young women are easy to fool into bed
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 118
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/29/2009 5:11:56 PM
Monty0791 said:
I may be almost 31 but mentally I'm still in my mid twenties.


an there it is..like i said earlier it's all in thier minds..



mlt71 said: That girl
I will be honest and plain and right to the point.

Young women are having sex and women your age and older all sex out.
I mean you been there and done that. Now you on a level of getting married and slowing down.
I don't know why men put age out there.
For me my penis don't have a age restrictions. I don't care if a woman is 19 or 45 if she want to hook up. I don't think my penis going to be fighting on the fact she not my age.

Men want young women to have sex with. They feel young women are easy to fool into bed..

there is is agian,


I don't think my penis going to be fighting on the fact she not my age.

Men want young women to have sex with. They feel young women are easy to fool into bed



like i said get them while thier young havent exsperienced all the facts of life can be easily trained an told what to so..as well as differant sexual techniques may seem good to them when in fact its horrible sex to the more mature.because they already know the ropes much better an anit going for the b ull shit.. an penis never discriminates it has no eyes it's whatever is open an avaliable..


i can't speak for everybody but at 29 i'm in the mode of wanting something more steady then a fly by nite type that kind wont keep me or keep me intrested,,i'll be the one off on to the next who is more on my level an ready to go when i am i'm not going to hold a sit for anybody when there not ready..

everybody doesn't get the special treatment love sex an care included..

ya gotta earn ur trust an keep just like you gotta earn a living nothing comes for free.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 119
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/29/2009 5:12:28 PM

my bad didn't want to repeat that post..; )
 Monty0791
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 120
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/29/2009 5:30:41 PM
Its not about the sex for me.Its about getting along and having something in common with someone.i wanna be around someone that we can enjoy doing stuff and going places together.loom at my stats.

1)I'm 31
2)I'm in a scion car club (older women would call it Fast and the Furious)
3)I don't really watch tv when i do its family guy,athf, and stuff like that
4)I play video games still
5) I'm very spontaneous and i head out on a trip for a car show in ohio at a moments notice with a tent and money for gas(i love adventure)


Only a younger girl or someone my age without kids are going to be able to keep up with me.Someone 35 or older are going to tell me to grow up and stay home.Sex is nice but honestly random hook ups just don't do it for me.I don't care how sexy someone is if i don't have feelings for them I cant enjoy sex.My preferences are based what i like to do for fun.
 secretagentman99
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 121
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/29/2009 10:03:27 PM
And as to women athletes, in th eleagues they do have, how come you rarely see a woman athlete past 30?
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 122
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/30/2009 7:48:13 AM
OP,

You obviously haven't been looking at women's profiles. The best looking women over 35 are less likely to date men older than themselves, and many women who are attractive past 40 won't even date men their own age. This isn't true for every attractive woman in that age group, but it isn't uncommon. Neither is it true for all attractive older men, but they ARE still interested in "attractive" women. And since that generally means younger (Though some women are trying harder now than they used to.), that's where they shop.

Another reason some men prefer younger women, is that many women in the 35-45 year range have just left a relationship that they entered into at a young age. They are now trying to have all the fun they missed, because of marrying too young. And they behave (and play games) just like a 20 year old does. Why would a 40 year old man choose a 40 year old woman, who behaves like a 20 year old, over a 20 year old? (Assuming he has the option to be picky.) Let alone a mature acting 30 year old that has all of that crap out of her system?

There is also no such thing as "attractive for your age". You either are or you're not. (Within the preferences of the person beholding you. Which vary.) Age is just an excuse to let yourself go.
 SWSpice
Joined: 8/23/2007
Msg: 123
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/30/2009 8:18:21 PM
I find all these arguments by both parties somewhat humorous.

As being in the dating world for 25 years, with relationships, ex's & boyfriends - I see TRENDs.

Too many 40+ women are looking to find someone to secure their future, as they didn't bother to. Looks are not very important in their search, but material stability is, and that turns alot of men off.

Too many 40+ men try to ignore their own aging. They picture themselves as the young hunk they used to be & think somehow magically a 20 yo hot girl is going to be attracted to them. Delusional.

But again, just trends, and there are exceptions to them all.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 124
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Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 4/30/2009 8:51:01 PM

Also, all fetuses start out female. It's only after 6 weeks that less than half become male.

Uhm, it's actually more than half: there are about 115 male fetuses conceived for every 100 female fetuses, though the number is not precisely known and could be as high as 120.

This is obviously because nature likes males more than females, since the former are far superior to the latter, so nature makes more of `em.

Since more would-be boys are lost along the way or miscarried, the sex ratio at birth drops to 104-107, though it varies by race (for blacks it's 102-104) and at least a half dozen other identifiable factors.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 125
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 5/1/2009 6:45:04 AM

Lyn66 said:
wow u r hot We d 4 Ushould chat ohhhhhhhhh wait I might b 2 old 4 U?lets talk anyway?



now where have i heard an seen that before? hmmm
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