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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 6
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
And... give me one good reason (other than assuaging my ego) why I would want to waste all that energy on a some tool I've never met? ..................:bye


....................... .............................. .............................. .......................... :

POETIC JUSTICE!!!!!
Poetic justice is not set up by someone seeking revenge. Poetic Justice happens naturally to a person who has purposely done harm .. Usually by something similar being done to them by someone else in the "tool's" future .. Some call it "Karma." ..
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 7
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 8:03:01 PM
I got stood up once. What did I do? Once I realized he wasn't going to show up, I went home and went to bed. Didn't give him or the fact he stood me up another thought. I had only known him a couple of weeks, so it didn't seem like a big deal.

It didn't make me feel bad. Why should I feel bad because of another person's ignorance?
 QuestForNormal
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 8
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 7:12:17 AM
Exactly right, Danny. Thank you.
 QuestForNormal
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 9
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:36:30 AM
Thank you all for your kind replies. However, I feel that most of you are missing the point. I am not recommending you try this. It is simply a way to get back at someone for being rude and to teach them a lesson. Is it worth the effort?? That would be up to you and the amount of time you needlessly invested in this person prior to actually being stood up and how badly you feel about it. People have different ways of dealing with various issues and this is one that happens to be proven to teach a valuable lesson. Take if for what it's worth but by no means am I suggesting you all run out and try it the very next time you have this happen to you.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 10
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:43:38 AM
Op is giving people pointers on how to be passive aggressive. When all you need to do, is know the person your planning to date a bit better before you agree to go out with them.
This vindictive behavior, getting even, setting up scenarios, sickens me. Anyone who does this needs to rethink the dating, they cant handle it. Why would any sane person spend all the time and energy still conversing with someone they have no intention of actually seeing, setting up fake meetings, just so they will be the one to not show up this time? Only an a**hole or a true biotch would go to that extreme. Your just adding more negative energy to an already bad situation, when the easiest thing would be to "just do nothing".
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 11
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:53:10 AM
Op's post #26: I am not recommending you try this.

What???? I say bulls****. You really are passive aggressive, if you think you can change in the middle, after recommending step by step directions. We can all go back and reread your original post. We're not stupid. Few agreed with you, thought is was petty and immature. Now your changing your tune.
 QuestForNormal
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 12
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:57:35 AM
I am passive aggressive when you have now taken your time to reply with two extremely vicious, nasty and profanity laced replies. I think you're the one who needs to sit back, have a drink and take a Midol. And yeah, it's a discussion board. I can change or clarify anything that I want the same as you have the right to get all worked up over absolutely nothing. Oh, and your refers to possession, you're means you are.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 13
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 9:43:38 AM

Why stop there, OP? If you really want to show how you feel, why not throw a brick through the person's window?
Whitty Sarcasm doesn't always come off well in the written word.. but you're doing a fine job lol <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>


Thank you all for your kind replies. However, I feel that most of you are missing the point. I am not recommending you try this. It is simply a way to get back at someone for being rude and to teach them a lesson. Is it worth the effort?? That would be up to you and the amount of time you needlessly invested in this person prior to actually being stood up and how badly you feel about it. People have different ways of dealing with various issues and this is one that happens to be proven to teach a valuable lesson. Take if for what it's worth but by no means am I suggesting you all run out and try it the very next time you have this happen to you.
I being someone who agrees with the theory that "two wrongs don't make a right" .. disagree with your view on the subject...

People have different ways of dealing with various issues and this is one that happens to be proven to teach a valuable lesson.
If you believe in "Poetic Justice" then you'll be confident in knowing that some other azzhole will teach the stander-upper a lesson without having to bring negative energy (karma) onto yourself. JMO.

People have different ways of dealing with various issues
Yes, Indeed!
 Verissa
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 14
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 1:41:14 PM
I had corresponded with a very nice on here for months (maybe 6) and we had decided to meet. We were sure that we adored one another, had so much in common, hit it off from the start..it was a whirl wind romance. We made plans to meet...and he didn't show up. He called me later and explained that he got nervous and apologized. I was upset but forgave it. So we made plans for another time, and guess what…again NO SHOW...Ahhh! So this time I'm ready to write him off when he sucks me in again with another good apology, this guy should write for Hallmark they were well worded and eloquent...so we make yet another "date". I'm ready for this one incase he doesn't call I have back up plans. But he showed and we were on again off again due to his erratic behavior for about 2 years lol. Then I said no more…why so long...the Hallmark words I'm a sucker I guess.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 15
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 2:12:50 PM
So let me get this straight. You are giving advice to the one DOING the Stooding up. Right?
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 16
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 9:24:11 PM
Op, we will let you be the proofreader, that way you wont feel so resentful. I didnt realize I was back in college writing a term paper.
Thanks for your concern, but I do not need a Midol. Do you? Sorry I cant offer you one. I could use a couple of Tylenol, seems I have a pain in my A**.
It is a discussion board. Everyone gets to put in their own 2 cents, whether they agree with you or not. Thank God, most do not.
"extremely vicious, nasty and profanity laced" You took offense to the words I used, "ass****, biotch, bull****." You thought my post was offensive. Maybe you should go and play in the kiddie pool, you like playing games so much. How will I ever get any sleep tonight, with you having such a low opinion of me? I think you and your attitude are offensive. I dont care what you say, setting someone up like you have laid out, is a "nasty", " vicious", ( if I may use your {now, that IS a possessive pronoun} words) thing to do.
Go back into your cave and do not come out, until you have learned, "dont treat people like that". You are a bully. I've ( see the apostrophe?) never done anything in my life to hurt anyone, my whole life has been spent helping people. I have given 1000 times more than I will ever get back.

Next thing you know, you will (you'll) be on here, crying how some woman set you up like this. What goes around, comes around.
You can go on and drink that glass of wine, and take the Midol now. I am finished dealing with Passive aggressive bullies.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 17
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 9:30:32 PM
I am passive aggressive when you have now taken your time to reply with two extremely vicious, nasty and profanity laced replies that was your post OP.
There was nothing passive aggressive about my comments. In fact, they were assertive, I didnt go behind your back, playing games, trying to manipulate you. I just didnt agree with you. Is that your problem?
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 18
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/22/2009 12:09:47 AM
Op's post #1 I recommend trying this if you are ever so unfortunate.


Op's post # 26 Take if for what it's worth but by no means am I suggesting you all run out and try it the very next time you have this happen to you.

Op's post # 32 I can change or clarify anything that I want

Gateway computer with scanner and HP printer: $1200.
Monthly internet access: $24.95.
Puttin a**holes in their place: PRICELESS

OP, OP, wherefore art thou, OP???
If your going to play in the big pond, you need to learn how to swim. Sometimes, it is just too easy. Getting to where I can spot them a mile away. All the way to Jersey.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 19
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:19:44 AM
toyoux: emails, phone calls are a good way to get to know someone. I hate to hear someone has been stood up, and know they have let it effect them, hurt them, or even put an emotional scar on them.
In these forums, people are meeting others after one chat, saying why waste time? Like going on dozens of blind dates. Peoples egos get in the way, they become fearful they wont measure up. But if they know you better, they arent as likely to be a no call no show. I like to know if our interests are similar. I never liked the idea of dating a stranger. I like all the cards on the table, his and mine. They arent going to be afraid to meet me. Nor I, them. I make sure they know, I tend to procrastinate, I have cats, I smoke, etc. I'm not desparate to have a man in my life, or to even go out on a date. All that effort and time and energy getting ready, my time is valuable to me and I wont waste it on every guy that asks me out. So my attitude, right or wrong, is tell me about you, then I will decide if I want to date you.

Those people that meet after one talk, are the ones complaining about being stood up, the quality of the person,(ie: rudeness, bad character) or the expense of the date. Then there are the players on here. They are lying about their entire profile, sent pics that wasnt them, the married ones, the ones with low self esteem. Ive learned how to decode the messages I get. Can spot the player by his words, how he phrases his words. His tone, vocabulary. Its great if he posts in the forums. This thread is a prime example. Look at how the OP's attitude has come through, in just a few sentences.

I Have been stood up, once. It wasnt a first date, it was the 3rd. We were meeting for dinner, I waited in my car, in the parking lot, so it wasnt a major public humiliation. He said his brother was sent to a hospital, not local, and his cell phone went dead and he couldnt call me. But I'm thinking pay phones are all over hospitals. I interpreted it as rude behavior.

I have, a couple times, chickened out of a date. I didnt stand them up. I just let them know, it was too soon for me, and I wasnt comfortable with it. They were OK with it, and we talked longer. You know what? The guys I do go out with, respect that I dont go out with everyone that ask, respect that I am selective, That I actually try to know them.
 cwisme
Joined: 6/13/2010
Msg: 20
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 3/2/2013 1:43:56 PM
Sure, poke the dragon, that always turns out well. Why on earth you'd ever even think of anatagonizing someone who's already exhibited a total lack of sincerity and common courtesy is way beyond me. If you get stood up, acknowledge and move on. Simple.
 ivegotitgoingon
Joined: 1/20/2013
Msg: 21
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 3/3/2013 10:55:15 AM
I don't think lying and playing further games is a good way to resolve this issue.
Everyone is different and each person put in this type of situation will feel/react differently.

I think the best thing to do if stood up would be to not have any further contact with that person and move on.
I wouldn't stoop to their level and attempt to hurt them in return.

Let Karma take care of the revenge portion. She is a bigger **** anyways.
 rockstar_ocnj
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 22
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 3/9/2013 5:50:18 PM
It happens all the time today for some reason, it's like people just don't care about other people's time anymore. It's not hard to just say "I changed my mind".

But one of the times it happened to me, I ended up calling my friend to go get a few drinks.... And guess who cluelessly sat right next to me at the bar with her date. And then tried to apologize the next day cuz her grandmother was sick. Even better was the picture she put of facebook of the two of them, with me right behind them looking at the tv.

I didn't say anything, and just tagged myself in the facebook pic
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 23
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 3/11/2013 1:18:08 PM
If I was stood up, I would sit down.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 24
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 11/15/2013 8:27:02 PM
It's not a big deal. Some kid talked to be about dirt biking for almost half an hour while I waited for someone to show up that never did. This was like five years ago, but I thought it was kind of funny.
 forumfella
Joined: 10/18/2013
Msg: 25
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 11/16/2013 6:50:33 AM
Never been stood up(touch wood), had a few show up late that I thought were standing me up, and I had a few dishonest with their pics, or were nutzo show up that I had wished later had stood me up.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 26
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 11/16/2013 8:37:21 AM
QuestForNormal,
If you're reading this, your revenge suggestion is really messed up and makes you look WAY worst than the person who stood you up. Life is full situations that you may not prefer. That doesn’t mean you have to waste your life teaching everyone a lesson.

I’ve been stood up before and it didn’t faze me a bit. If it bothers you so much you’d be better of focusing on yourself and how to control your feelings instead of being controlled by others. What a waste of time and energy.

My suggestion to “what to do when you are stood up” is this:
Only agree to do something and go somewhere that you planned on going by yourself anyway.
This could be at a coffee shop paying your bill online, reading a book, checking your e-mails, talk to a friend on the phone, make your shopping list...
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 27
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 11/16/2013 10:38:18 AM
1) well, Q4N, now anyone who wants to date you can read this post and figure out what you consider "normal".

2)If I get stood up, I'll go do something fun on my own. I wouldn't pick a first date that was boring for me to do, so it wouldn't be difficult to go ahead and enjoy it anyway on my own. maybe i'll meet someone new, and have a little icebreaker story t0 tell :)

3) there are far worse things in life to have happen than get stood up by a stranger. Go ask a vet what they might be.

4)if someone's gonna stand you up once...they'll do it the next time. so you lose twice--once for playing this silly game, then again for losing twice at it instead of quitting while you were behind.

5)the best thing you can do for yourself, and for everyone who will have to deal with you in the future...is to get out of your head this image of yourself as the guy who never loses. Everyone loses at something once in a while. Life is just made that way. the problem isn't that you lose like all other people do, the problem is how you react to your loss. do you handle it like a successful person would handle it (going off and having a good time, maybe meeting someone new while you're at it)or do you handle it like a failure (playing the peevish little game--ever hear the saying, "don't let someone live in your head rent-free"? you're focusing on someone who treated you poorly, instead of focusing on those who treat you well)?
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 28
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 11/16/2013 3:45:45 PM
First post on this thread is repulsive.

I've been stood up on dates 3 times in my life.

1) I had a college alumni event that afternoon within walking distance of the evening's date location, a musical no guy would attend by himself. I did not have a cell phone. In our Yahoo Messenger chat that morning, I clearly stated I would leave home by 2 PM. Alumni event went well. Went on a nice bike ride in between. Waiting in line at the musical, she was still not there well after our planned meeting time. A man in line let me call her number from his phone; got her voicemail and left a message describing my position in line, saying his number in the event she wasn't going to make it. She never showed. I left at intermission. Logged on at home. She was offline (almost never was) and had sent one message around 3 or 4 PM, "U mad if I no show". Yes, she did not use a question mark. Removed her as a Yahoo contact within 72 hours. She had cancelled the previous scheduled date at the last second. Of course I did not contact her.

2) The "date" was her visiting my place. I postponed dinner for a long time. Relaxed with my dogs. She did not call to say she would not show up. A day or two later she emailed, claiming a relative had a medical emergency. As if she couldn't call from the hospital.

3) This summer, a walk in the park after work. She told me to choose the park and the time. I got there early enough for my meal and to fish about 30 minutes before going back to the parking lot, getting to the lot 15 minutes before our scheduled meet. After 30+ minutes sitting in the park shelter, surfing the net on my smartphone, walked to the other parking areas to make sure she didn't go to one of them. Not there. Messaged her on POF, saying I was going to shop in the shopping center a mile away until (time an hour from the message), to let me know by phone, real email or POF. No communication. Eventually wrote date feedback about her.

No lost gasoline or $ on any of the three. Wasted several hours on the first one; would rather have gone home and spent time with the dogs. Could have fished some more on the third one.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 29
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 11/18/2013 11:35:59 AM

Now I know what many of you are going to say. This is a game and the subject is serious. You want the person to know how bad they made you feel. Well, my friends, I am here to tell you that someone who is callous enough to stand you up really doesn't care about your feelings, nor do they care about you. I recommend trying this if you are ever so unfortunate.

No, I like it. :) If you let people walk off thinking everything's cool, and you have an opportunity to give them a fitting response in return but you don't do it, IMO, you're a coward. You should make people think twice IF given an opportunity. It doesn't have to be all this, but hey, someone who does -- kudos to ya.

Remember, standing up is NOT stopping it last minute. Standing someone up is leaving them hanging & waiting. In the age of cell phones, there's virtually no excuse. And if there is, you'll hear about it very soon enough.

All in all, one should, when there's an opportunity, do or say something to at Least plant a seed to make them think twice about it again. Cowards will actually play the Game of "oh, me saying this or doing that -- that's just playing games, I'm just ignoring them". That's a Poor excuse to be non-confrontational where it'd be Appropriate to let someone know what's up. Ignoring someone is just running scared. They don't care. They didn't call ya up and apologize, etc.

I would say the best approach wouldn't be pulling this, because the chances of them agreeing to meet ya somewhere again and going to it would still be small, even though there's a decent shot of them conversing with you when hearing your apologies for standing THEM up.

I would say the best approach would to say something strong via text ("Thanks a lot, fvckhead. Last time I give a guy a chance who's a 5.") Saying they wouldn't at least think twice when on the fence about meeting a girl would be lying to oneself. Just don't go off pyscho by any means -- just say something short and sweet that will resonate with them at least a bit. THEN block them.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 30
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 11/21/2013 12:11:29 PM
I totally agree with the OP. What is more, I too have taken revenge on a man for standing me up.

He asked me to travel nearly 2 hrs by train to meet him in London. We both swapped mobile phone numbers. We each had one another's home phone numbers and email address.

He rang me at home at 10am and said he was just leaving his town to meet me. (He also had nearly 2hrs to travel.)

I had my phone on the whole train journey and he did not call or text. He stood me up in London. Naturally, while waiting I called his mobile several times. It was switched off. I rang his home and got the answerphone and left a message. I waited 30 minutes and caught the train back home. Sat two hours on the train with my phone and he didn't text or phone. Hmph!

Waste of six hours of my time and £20 in train fare, and my nerves, emotions, annoyance etc. When I got home I was astonished to find no message on my phone, no email.

So I just shrugged it off like the posters on here said.

Three months later he contacted me again via the dating site we originally met on, saying that "something came up" on the day we were supposed to meet in London. Yeah "something came up" between his phoning me at 10am and our date at 12noon, hmph!

I pretended to forgive him and like to OP said, made another date. But I told him he'd have to refund my train fare AND pay my train fare for the second date. He sent the money. And then I had him got all the way to London, where I stood him up.

The OP would be proud of me!
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