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 MizBexReturns
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 76
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Well, Ren it was not my choice to leave the marriage. The real reason for ending the marriage was after 14 years of marriage, my ex wanted to have a child. And it would have been next to impossible for me to have one without complete bed rest. Plus, after many years of not wanting children as a couple, he decided he wanted to have a child and in all honesty, I didn't.

I don't think anyone should ever hold someone back from being a parent, that would have been very selfish of me, I could not deny him that. Although on the day that he proposed to the woman who would become his wife, he called me hours before he did it and asked "are you absolutely certain you don't want to have a baby?" And the answer was still no. That is the ultimate reason my marriage ended. There were some other issues that stemmed from that issue, but that was the ultimate reason.

How do you tell a man he can't be a Dad? By the way he is. He has two now.
 Yours 4 the taking
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 77
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 12:25:55 PM
I think most women just want to be loved and treated well. Men seem to stop treating you well after the new wears off a relationship. To be honest, that is when we start loosing interest and then the relationship falls apart and the guy wonders what happened.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 78
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 12:26:49 PM

Cinema Paradiso-my ex wanted to have a child. And it would have been next to impossible for me to have one without complete bed rest. Plus, after many years of not wanting children as a couple, he decided he wanted to have a child and in all honesty, I didn't.


I'm sorry to have opened that up, so please forgive me. It does confirm my impression of you, but that's not worth having caused some pain by asking. I was just confused, having read the posts, why a marriage full of romance, mutual consideration, and the good things in life would end.

"Sensitivity" isn't my "long suit" sometimes.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 79
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 12:30:22 PM

Sex can be an expression of love, but it can be just sex too. It has little to do with romance in the real sense.


Sex alone is not romantic, no, but sincere romance is usually something that exists between lovers, and is part of the "extended foreplay" that can only fully exist in the context of a relationship between two people who intend to make love often.

Like the story earlier about the pathetic man, who brought flowers to a woman every week for months, while she rejected the flowers. That's not "romantic". It's pathetic.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 80
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 12:42:49 PM
Do I believe a man of today still understands the true meaning of romance? All the ones I've ever experienced a relationship with did. Some moreso than others. I'm not about to lump all men into a do or don't category. Often times, it's a woman who leads by example as well. If she does romantic things, she's more often than not going to be on the receiving end of romance as well. As macho as a number of men like to make themselves out to be, they appreciate just as much all those little, meaningful things a woman will do for/with him in the romance department. If he's smart, he reciprocates when unsolicited to do so (nothing worse than demanding gifts and deeds of a romantic nature - that just kills it all) and he knows that by doing so the ball will keep rolling back and forth. There's also nothing worse than a woman who expects that just because of her gender that romantic niceties are only meant to come her way. Give and you shall receive - unless whoever you're with is denser than a sidewalk block. I'm sure there are a few of them but I think the majority of people, both men and women, who don't act romantic in one way, shape or form, are more lazy than anything. There are all kinds of ideas out there that can be applied to your own relationship.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 81
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 1:48:11 PM

Agred ren man, romance is bewteen lovers,.. romance sex, affection, all are intertwined.


I agree with you, Goode Witch, and also agree that within a relationship, romance is something a man wants to give to a woman, for her sake, to bring her some joy and happiness, and isn't just foreplay. Although, making lovemaking romantic is also something that can be very romantic.

I think some women confuse what "romantic" means, though, and women along the road of life have "taught" men not to express themselves too romantically with most women, prior to their being an established relationship. There are women who interpret romantic gestures in early dating as their "right", almost as queens, who will then regard the man as weak and willing to enter into a female dominated dynamic. For example that "romantic" story of the man, who brought flowers every week, to a woman who was rejecting him.

For me, at least, before I can let my "inner romantic" out in full force, I have to be at a place in the relationship, where there isn't any "tension" about whether affection runs both ways, or while sex is still a "question".
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 82
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 1:54:39 PM
For starters, honesty is a great beginning. In plain English, just be open and honest about what you want and who you are. Material things do not really make or break me, however surprises would be nice once in a while. :) Hard to say what would really make me smile. Not to be whining here but so far, it seems like I am the one always spending, always giving, only to get nothing in return. Not even respect. I hope the next guy who comes along has some friggen manners.
 ditr821
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 83
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History
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 2:24:39 PM
IDEAL SETTING - TOTAL DARKNESS, JUST THE TWO OF YOU, AND KNOWING YOU CAN TRUST EACH OTHER AND NOT BE AFRAID. NOT TALKING, JUST LISTENING TO EACH OTHER BREATHING AND THE SOUNDS OF EACH OTHERS HEART, HOW YOUR HEARTBEAT INCREASES WITH THE TOUCH OF EACH OTHER. REMEMBERING THAT FEELING FROM THE VERY FIRST TIME TO THE 100TH TIME YOU ARE TOGETHER. TOUCH IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, IT SHOULD ALWAYS BRING GOOSEBUMPS OR A CHILL UP YOUR SPINE IN A GOOD WAY. MEN AND WOMEN NEED THE SAME THING, WOMEN ARE ALLOWED TO EXPRESS IT, MEN ARE NOT EXPECTED TO. BUT IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO FIND A MAN THAT CAN, KEEP HIM, LOVE HIM, HOLD HIM CLOSE, BECAUSE HE IS ONE OF A KIND
 MizBexReturns
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 84
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 2:33:18 PM
Ren, that is OK. You and I go way back. I have posted this in a former POF life, so not to worry. It is best that you asked and not someone who is not considered a friend. Huggs.

Goodewitch, your are too kind. Thank you.
 Serenity_BC
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 85
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 5:39:57 PM
Casey, no problem. I speak the truth....and I think I've been spoiled by some pretty good men
 diamondgirl2727
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 86
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:00:14 PM
All a man has to do to make me speechless is to actually listen to me, and remember the things I have said! Also, letting me know he was actually thinking about me. Guess it all comes down to whether he likes me enough to have me on his mind and think of things he could do to put a smile on my face. I have always done this for men I have cared about, but sadly, I never got anything in return.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 87
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:03:32 PM
Many men are very romantic. Just like many women are.

Some people are not as good as guaging what thier new interest will find romantic, and this is where you see people rejecting people for what an outsider would say was a nice gesture.

Some women like flowers right off the bat, some think it is creepy. Some men will love having a woman cover the tab for dinner on date number one, some men will feel uncomfortable about that.

The key is really knowing your partner. Like anything I do for someone, if I'm going to exert an effort, I want to make sure it is truly appreciated-so Im going to make sure I am showing him my romantic feelings in a way he picks up and enjoys.

Just because you heard women like this, or men like that, doesnt so much matter. It only matters if MY man likes it.
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 88
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:03:53 PM
I think romance is a personal preference and there are some men out there would like to be romantic with a woman who can appreciate and enjoys being romanced. It is also a 2 way street and I believe that women need to be romantic as well, because I have found that men who are romantic towards me, enjoy also being romanced - it is an opportunity for 2 people who enjoy romance to please and be pleased. All good in my books, I love charming men and I treat the man in my life very well.
 PaMike1200
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 89
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Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:11:03 PM

All a man has to do to make me speechless is to actually listen to me, and remember the things I have said! Also, letting me know he was actually thinking about me. Guess it all comes down to whether he likes me enough to have me on his mind and think of things he could do to put a smile on my face. I have always done this for men I have cared about, but sadly, I never got anything in return.

Such BS! I would love to hear the other side of the story. The other guys probably found someone that knows he was listening and remembering.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 90
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:14:19 PM
I have no idea why some are picking apart post #103. To me, it made perfect sense, and I agree that part of letting a woman know that she is valued, is to let her know that you want to know what she thinks, how she feels, and then to remember those things, and respond, in unexpected ways.
 2Irish1
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 91
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:40:38 PM
^^^actually it was post #102...and I agree...what is wrong with validating a woman...by the simple act of respecting her thoughts and feelings by listening...remembering the things that she values...and complimenting her by doing the unexpected...a reminder to her that you had been listening to the things she desires...sometimes "it is" just so simple...
 Ameerra
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 92
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:51:19 PM

what is wrong with validating a woman...by the simple act of respecting her thoughts and feelings by listening...remembering the things that she values...and complimenting her by doing the unexpected...a reminder to her that you had been listening to the things she desires...sometimes "it is" just so simple


Yes, someone please give lessons or at the very least write a book!!!
 Belldon
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 93
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:42:56 PM
his idea of romance is a quick bite, mcds dive thru then....in soft neon lighting a quick blow..

.....................................................wow what a night..................
 d_voted
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 94
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Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:48:55 PM
Hmmmmm.

Evaluate this:

Traveling half way across Canada for her?
Do things like filling up her gas tank and washing and waxing her vehicle weekly count?
What about a dozen roses per week? (for two years)
Grocery shopping and making tossed salad to suit her dietary regime regularly?
How about steam cleaning the carpets?
Does landscaping HER house so it is the nicest yard on the block count?
Does taking her children to school so she won't have to get up? (;and anywhere else)
How about attacking her with kisses and hugs anytime anywhere?
Meeting her at the airport with a tuxedo and small table, two chairs, two bowls and a tossed salad?
Sneaking up on her and cornering her in the laundry room?
How about paying her overdue bills?
Telling her she is gorgeous and then going into detail about it - and telling the truth?

Frankly I have no idea what romance is and as my name suggests - after being disembowled - I lack the effort to be bitter but can't take the risk again as my daughters need a whole father.

I just this week decided that I might change my name to MAYBE ?????

However, I am in the glorious position that many men here find untennable, of being pursued for some financial or social gain. I have one up on you guys. No gold digger would spend two seconds on me. Ha ha ha

Na na na boo boo
I'm luckier than any of you.

Got nothing to risk but my heart. Don't hearden your hearts fellas - it is only money and once it is gone - so what??? We're all gonna die anyways, rich or poor.

There is however another side to that coin. I don't accept gifts or charity either.
Pretty slim pickin's for me I guess.

No idea where I am going from here but still need adult conversation to counter the tons of teenage estrogen I am drowning in.

But I still don't know what romance is - just know who I am.
 CynthiaM
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 95
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:04:44 PM
My son is 15 and even though he has always had friends that are girls, and each year seems to have a crush on a particular girl, he decided this year, even though he's in highschool, he isn't going to have a 'girlfriend'. Says he just has too much on his plate, I thought that's pretty mature for 15.

Driving home from New year's party, out of the blue, he tells me that his best friend Tim (a freshman) is dating a sophomore! Now I've known Tim since he was 4 yrs old and he's not the sharpest pencil in the box so I reply with a simple 'oh?' hoping it will elicit more info. Which it does.

Son says he's been giving Tim dating advice. I think (without saying) this is pretty interesting coming from a kid who doesn't/hasn't dated yet so I ask what advice he gives Tim. Son's reply (god's honest truth) "I told don't just stare at her, listen to what she says."

I really love my boy.
 Blk_Archangel7
Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 96
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:08:49 PM
everyones definition of romance is different we men just have to learn to understand you females by talking to you.
 Kimberish925
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 97
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Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:16:48 PM

Son says he's been giving Tim dating advice. I think (without saying) this is pretty interesting coming from a kid who doesn't/hasn't dated yet so I ask what advice he gives Tim. Son's reply (god's honest truth) "I told don't just stare at her, listen to what she says."


Kudo's to you CynthiaM, sounds like you have raised a wonderful young man.


I have no idea why some are picking apart post #103. To me, it made perfect sense, and I agree that part of letting a woman know that she is valued, is to let her know that you want to know what she thinks, how she feels, and then to remember those things, and respond, in unexpected ways.


One of the ones who gets it, listen, remember, react...so simple. Thank you RenaissanceMan1950.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 98
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:34:30 PM

actually it was post #102...and I agree..


Quite right, 2 Irish. Post #102 was very simple, and full of a truth that it took me awhile, as a young man, to understand.
 Levi501s
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 99
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 10:03:40 PM
Don't know if the question has age restrictions associated, but this 48 year old understands romance.

For example, I truely believe every woman deserves flowers every now and then for no particular reason at all.

NOT because it's Valentines, a Birthday, an Anniversery, etc...

But rather, just to say, "I love and appreciate you."

I've done this with Aunts, my Sister, Girlfriends, lil ole' ladies, and my Mother. When I saw the sparkle, and moistening, in their eyes.........well,...........that's when I began to understand how important and appreciated random acts of kindness and appreciation are.

Which I kinda think "romance" is all about.

Typically people attach a sexual connotation to "romance", but to me sex has little to do with romance.

In my mind "romance" is about emotions. Now, if it leads to wild and crazy sex with a SO - YEEHAW! But the gesture shouldn't come with strings attached.

Hell, I even surprise my buds with a gift now and then. Granted, I don't necessarily tell 'em I "L" them at the same time, but you get the jest (I hope).

Maybe I'm wierd, but it's easy to be romantic and it's a win/win for both parties when it's sincere and no strings are attached. You can brighten someones day and feel good about your self expression at the same time. No loss in that senario.

just a few thoughts
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 100
Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance?
Posted: 4/22/2009 10:36:05 PM
It does seem a lot of woman like the romance thing, but I don't. I would rather a man show me he cares in real ways. An example would be if I have a bad cold, and he shows up with some cold medicine. Taking my cats to the vet when I had to work.

btw you can't make someone fall in love with you. You can't even make yourself fall in love with someone. You met them, and you will love them or you won't.

My idea of an ideal man is one that when I met him, I feel like I have known him forever. Romance couldn't care less about it.
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