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Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 3
CONTROLING GIRLFRIENDPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Is this the same woman with the 14 year old kid you wrote about?

I dont get along my girlfriends 14 yr daughter!!! She is rude, spoiled and disrespectful to me . I have young daughter myself and I am afraid that she will become like this "child from hell" This issue is a great strain in our relationship so i m wondering if i am wasting my time on this one...
I think the writing is on the wall. Don't buy a house and make the child suffer this drama.
Posted: 4/21/2009 4:27:19 PM
Don't know? Can you really afford to be buying a bike right now? Maybe she's just freaking out because you're wanting to go out and buy some toy and there are more responsible things you both should both spending money on right saving for a house, having some savings for emergencies, ect. To me that's not controlling. Just being prudent and responsible. If you can't come to common ground on money, forget it. Number one reason for divorce.
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 8
Posted: 4/21/2009 4:31:14 PM
I've spent more time than I want to admit with controlling girlfriends. I'll never do it again. The ground rules in your relationship were established early on. Probably the first date. Two years down the road it would be difficult to impossible to change them. You have to decide whether you can live with being controlled and manipulated. For me, I live my own life. Good or bad, right or wrong, it's mine. The day I broke up with the last controlling girlfriend I showed up on my new motorcycle. Yes, she had stipulated that I couldn't have one while we were together. She took one look at the bike, and she knew. I had finally realized how toxic being with someone like that is. Since that time I've learned to look for negativity in people. I spend as little time around them as possible.
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 11
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Posted: 4/21/2009 6:07:04 PM
Are you irresponsible with money? Does she have a point in this?

Is she a saver and you're a spender? Or some other mismatched attitudes to money?
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 13
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Posted: 4/21/2009 6:51:03 PM
You dont even live together and you let her control your life????

If shes been doing it for 2 yrs......why complain now????

and the other question are complaining....and yet you are talking about buying a house together........

you are talking in circles.......
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 18
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Posted: 4/21/2009 8:03:32 PM
Ive seen this a a few times, tell her how you feel about it,If she cant handle it then id end it.Because it will only get worse with time
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 23
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Posted: 4/22/2009 12:42:45 AM
Just show her your profile. When she sees that you are a single dad ``Looking for someone to share to grow old with`` she might just leave on her own.
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 25
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:04:09 AM

Do not buy the motorcycle.

Do not dumb her.

Whatever her daughters say, just do it.

But the house together but put the deed in her name.

That way when she wants to dumb you all she has to do is kick you to the curb and dump all your clothes on the street.

Just realize one thing.

Go to the bathroom, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat. "I am a doormat."

Then say the following "How do I change that?"

ONLY YOU can change that. So stop playing victim.
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 29
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Posted: 4/22/2009 8:53:05 AM
The motorcycle is not the issue.
Your dysfunctional relationship is.
You both are parents. You claim you are in a committed relationship yet, you don't live together and she is telling you what to do with your money.
Buying a house together and you aren't married nor have you haven't lived together?
You have issues with her teen-age daughter? WTF, dude.
You are getting advice on how to deal with her or what she needs to do.
She is who she is. You need to decide if you REALLY want someone to treat you like a child and dictate, not discuss, but dictate to you what type of lifestyle you want.

Any person's idea of discussion is simply throwing out ultimatums is going to be long and painful relationship.

And the worse part? It ain't going to get better unless you establish some bondaries on how you expect to be treated.

I don't envy your life at all.
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 33
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:21:45 AM
It cracks me up that that people think the way this guy should show he has balls is to dump his girlfriend and buy a Harley. God I hope midlife isn't really like that.
Posted: 4/22/2009 10:57:57 AM
get a motorcycle, screw her. You have to live life to be happy.

Who cares what she thinks and does? If she don't let you be yourself, she don't love you. You'll get another gf, at leat the cycle wont control your life right?

You also need to have the maturity to listen and have respect and consideration for the opinions of your partner for any relationship to work. Can't always be my way or the highway. Who's controlling who then? A relationship is a process of negotiation.
Posted: 4/22/2009 11:09:50 AM
^^^ I would have no desire to have a convo with you. Get over yourself, sweetie.
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