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Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 12
Body types and self delusion...Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
^^You's called...a photograph!

BBW is NOT Big Breasted Women! There are BBW's with itty bitty titties, too!

Wiki actually calls it a desirable overweight woman....which could mean ANYONE with a few extra pounds! lol

But it was actually coined by a magazine of the same name. What is sooo ironic is, this magazine is NOT exclusive to BBW in their advertising, at all. I would think they would require of their advertisers (for fashion and beauty, at least) that they use more "real" models and not the skinny ones! LOL
Joined: 8/17/2007
Msg: 13
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 4/25/2009 1:53:46 PM
OMG!!! I don't think I've laughed this hard all weekend!!! LOL!!!

First off I think muffin tops should be against the law unless its a momentary accident and quickly covered up again... I know I'm making fun of people like me but unlike them I don't go around showing the extra flab, I make sure to cover it properly with extra anchoring ropes to make sure it doesn't blow off. ;-) Dark clothes help disguise extra weight too and it's not just a rumor, I've tested it and found it to almost go from theory to law. LOL~

HarleyKat, thank you for educating me... Big Beautiful Woman... Hmmmm I guess that would depend on how big and beautiful to whom? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and though it may make me somewhat of a hypocrite since I'm a little overweight, big really isn't that beautiful to me. Now personality and other traits may make her beautiful but muffin tops and dripping flab just don't get my goat or float my boat. I like a woman I can pick up in my arms and carry, not throw my back out trying. :-D

Bugsbro I have to admit you're right... I've also found for the inverse population (very small women) that they have trouble finding anything that isn't too big for them too. My last girlfriend was 5' 1" and 100 lbs soaking wet and it was rare I could find any clothes that would fit her that weren't made for children. Good thing there is jewelry for birthdays and christmas's huh? LOL!

Sepia777, you are a riot!!! Had me LMAO and agreeing at the same time!!! I don't know about Dr. Oz being hot since I don't swing that way but everything else was ace-on-line... :)
Joined: 8/17/2007
Msg: 14
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 4/25/2009 8:23:56 PM
CharminC - Actually I answered that question in my last post... I like a woman I can pick up and carry from time to time. Though to be bluntly honest, she chose me. No need to be insulting though~ Maybe you can contribute something useful the next time you decide to post, like everyone else here has? One of the best lines I've seen on a female's profile on here is "Don't talk unless you can improve the silence."

Sterling Belle and Raphael- I have to agree with both of you all but I think the true test is when two people meet, look each other in the eye and find out whether the chemistry is there. I've met many people on the web (thin, athletic, average and a few extra pounds) and we may have had GREAT online and in the phone chemistry but when we met for some reason there was nothing there. In most cases we were able to stay friends for awhile but in a very few there was NO chemistry and we both turned each other off. So really the real test is meeting someone and seeing what is real because we all have to remember (this goes extra for some people) that despite how "real" the online world seems at times, it isn't. It is a Virtual Reality not a true reality and things that are real in one don't necessarily transfer to the other...

wgeorgew - Uh uh... No fracking way!!! LOL! Funny suggestion though!!! :)

SassySky - I saved you for last since it was the most interesting to me and I like the way you think. Also you're upfront about what you ask and how you ask it. Asking if I'm a hypocrite is a lot different than implying I'm a child molester. :-) I'll answer your question first then reply to your post. In answer no and if you look right what I'm looking for in my original post you'll see that I wouldn't dismiss someone just because they're a few extra pounds without looking at their personality first. Now does this mean I'm not hypocritical about some things? No it doesn't. I'm human and all humans are hypocritical to a greater or lesser degree. Anyone who says they aren't hypocritical at all don't really know themselves and need to do a little more introspection. To be honest, like I said before the biggest teller is the chemistry between two people when they meet and after.

I do have to say you're spot on about the poll and what people would say. I've done political surveys in the past and in those we ask the same question 15 different ways to find out just what they honestly think... I think you have a good method of seperating the real from the fake and have a good analytical mind from what you had to say. :) But be careful what we all suggest... They might require a published gene scan before long. LOL! Actually thinking on that twice, it's kinda scary...
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 15
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 4/26/2009 4:22:42 AM

why don't we do this the easy way.require a full-length picture with form-fitting clothes.

Hella! It's like pulling teeth just to get some to even post a pic, period...requiring a full body shot will be like brain surgery!

To declare yourself beautiful regardless of your size is basically bad form.

I disagree. I mean, if I walked around and approached someone in store, and said, "Hello...I am beautiful, no?" Bad form. But this is a DATING SITE. It's a place where we ARE supposed to "sell ourselves" and my "beauty" is one of the characteristics I am selling, Paco! Of course that includes INNER beauty as well. Also, the majority know that BBW is a descritpive term to explain size/weight...not "literally" beautiful. The alternate...."Plus Size." Personally, I think they should include that, plus something in between "a few pounds" and "curvy" or "rubenesque."

Some of us are in no means BBW or obese...we carry our weight very well. I am one of those. I have a lot of muscle...enough to be able to handle a 750 lb. bike! *lol* In fact, if I did what someone suggested....posting my actual height and weight...I would get even MORE emails than I do NOW (saying, if you are a few pounds over...) telling me my scale is broken! LOL I ALWAYS win the "Guess your weight/age" carny games!
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 16
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 4/26/2009 5:37:13 AM
What she says, as well as to try and kick the STIGMA to the curb, that larger is icky, unhealthy, ugly, etc....

Hey...I do not LIKE the term, either. Never have. And if I were of the proportions to be such, I would NEVER refer to myself as such.
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 17
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:33:35 PM
I agree that the beautiful thing is a stupid moniker. As is the label for fat guys: "big and tall"--when they are usually just fat. "Big", myass (hey wait--did I just call myass big?! WTF, I'm a idot).

I bet the proportions of delusionals is the same regardless of gender. There are some women who think they look beautiful being 300 pounds, and there are some men who think because a football player is 300 pounds, they can aptly describe themselves as "athletic". Basically, anyone who weighs 300 pounds is overweight. It gets muddier when you say 200 pounds--some people are normal/average, some are thin, some are fat.
Joined: 12/20/2008
Msg: 18
view profile
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 4/30/2009 4:41:27 PM
"Stating one's height and weight won't tell the whole story either. First, many will put down a lower number than they actually are and secondly due to weight distribution, bone structure and body fat percentage, two people of the same height and weight can look dramatically different and wear different size clothing. "

Who cares what women look like in clothing?

Height and weight is honest, anything else is code for FAT.
 Got Trance
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 19
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 6/13/2009 9:28:08 AM
I would like to know when being overweight, chubby, thick and fat became "Average".
Hmmmm, now that I think about it, in San Antonio those would be average.
When looking at profiles I am amazed at the amount of women that will state they are average but obviously are not.
Don't get me wrong. I tend to be attracted to women that are not skinny. I just do not understand why they lie on their profiles.

Joined: 7/26/2004
Msg: 20
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:35:28 PM

Look at the choices:

Thin = Below Proportionate
Athletic = Muscular variation of Proportionate
Average = Height/Weight Proportionate
A Few Extra Pounds = No more than 20 lbs over Average/Proportionate
Big & Tall/BBW = Beyond 20 lbs over Proportionate

Well, that's what these mean in your subjective view. I don't believe that POF or any of the moderators of POF have defined what these mean.
Joined: 7/26/2004
Msg: 21
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:42:28 PM
I think common sense and reason would define them this way as well........ Ok, I am game, you take a shot at defining the body types.

To answer your question, I wouldn't be pretentious enough to even attempt to define a person's body types. Mostly because of the fact that I think that it is near impossible to define one's body and to try and tell people what they should look like or what they should tell people they look like.

I personally feel the medical community has it all wrong, and I think if you follow the paper trail deep enough, that the studies on weight and BMI and all that crap have too much influence from companies and organizations that have nothing but to benefit from studies going in their way. Have you ever watched the movie "Thank You For Smoking." If you hae, then you'll understand what I am talking about.

Body types are subjective, and I think they should remain that way.
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 22
view profile
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:13:56 PM

Body types are subjective, and I think they should remain that way.

It wouldn't be subjective if everyone agreed to a standard.
Joined: 7/26/2004
Msg: 23
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 6/13/2009 10:21:02 PM
What a cop out. You have the gall to chastise me and call me pretentious for attempting to define body types as they apply to POF and then you say it is impossible to define body types. What an amazing cop out.

Call it a cop out if you will. I'll stand by my answer, and it is a very politically savvy one at that, apparently.

It is not impossible to define body types. Most people, outside of POF apparently, when shown a picture of a person would be able to assign that person to one of the five body types used on POF.

Most people have subjective views of different body types, so sure they would be able to assign a subjective view to something.

Additionally, I would bet that most people would assign a body type that roughly correlates to the guidelines I used.

Based on a picture, it is almost impossible to tell if they were using the guidelines that you subjectively laid out.

And, I would further postulate that most would be assigned to the same categories with the exception of a few samples that would be on the body type borderline.

Again, a subjective judgement based upon a picture.

Use some common sense, Ezzee. We all know what our bodies should look like.

We all have a subjective viewof what our bodies should look like, sure.

I'll tell you a little story here. First, I was at one time at my "ideal weight." And I looked sickly. The best way for me to describe what i looked like would be to tell you to take a health class skeleton, coverit with skin and hair, and that is exactly what I looked like. It would've made you sick to your stomach, I guarantee you. Fact of the matter is that I am healthier at this weight and much happier. And this is the weight I would call normal.

In fact, all of my wife's co-workers love the way I look. You would be amazed at how many of my wife's co-workers have nothing but praise for how I look. Only one co-worker made any comment about my weight, and she was shot down quicker then a duck in an NRA conference. My common sense is that I look good at my weight, and I feel good at my weight. Completely subjective, but hey, who cares, I'm happy.

We know what our ancestors looked like.

Yep, my ancestors all looked like me.

We know when people deviate on both the too big or too small side.

Sure, we all have our subjective views of people who deviate too high or too little. We also have our subjective views on muscle heads and barbie dolls and everything like that too.

Well bully for you. It is amazing that you know more than the entire medical and scientific community.

Actually, this is not what i said. If you look at my complete sentence instead of cutting and pasting fragments was that I believe that there is a lot of bias in the studies of the medical field in regards to this. I don't feel that there has ever truly been an accurate study on any of this because if you follow the money and the paper trail and who is funding what that the studies have been twisted in such a way that is needed in order to make money. As I mentioned before, the movie "Thank You For Smoking" does a lot to show the bias and spin doctoring that goes into everything, and I believe that this happens in the medical community more than most people realize.

I have an athletic body type and I go to the gym 5 - 6 days a week. No one would ever describe me as overweight. BMI is useless for most people as it does not take into account frame size or muscle weight.

Congratulations, would you like a cookie? So you go to the gym 5-6 days a weeks. Well whoop-di-do. So that makes you an expert on body types?

Body types are not subjective.

Yes, body types are subjective. Just because you put labels on things doesn't make them objective. Just because doctors say so, doesn't make it so. As the old saying goes, medicine is not an exact science.

With all due respect and not meaning to sound rude, your entire discussion on this topic comes across as another overweight person feeling persecuted by such descriptors as body type. You are what you are, live with it, or change it. Those are your choices.


Dude, I know I'm overweight, as I discussed earlier in this thread and as I have done in other threads. I'm fat. Your point? I could care less that I am fat. I really don't need someone who works out all the time to tell me that. But you know what, I'm happy with my weight and I'm happy with who I am. And yeah, I'm fat, and I don't care. Like I said, all of my ancestors are built the same way I am, and none of them have ever died from a health problem that could be related to weight. Unless you consider old age, leukemia, and brain cancer to be related to weight.

However, your choices do not include refuting standard or commonly assumed body types because they are not convenient for you.

I always have the choice of refuting and fighting against social standards because they are not convenient for me.

I do find that argument interesting though. Why is it that whenever one is challenged on the traditionally accepted that they throw this argument back?

History has shown us over and over that that argument has failed. After all, slavery has been abolished, women can vote, and so can everyone else over the age of 18.
Joined: 7/26/2004
Msg: 24
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 6/14/2009 10:15:32 AM

If the majority places the pictures into the same categories that roughly correlate to the guidelines I set out they therefore would have been using my guidelines. Additionally, I would say that the guidelines I use correspond pretty much with generally accepted norms.

Ah yes, tyranny of the majority. I love the argument.

However, my contention is that we can no longer use average as the standard from which all other body types deviate from. The accepted standard should be proportionate. Most people can readily identify a height/weight proportionate body.

And my argument is what is proportional or acceptable is a completely subjective view that is based on no more than a societal standard that has been placed upon society by inaccurate sciences and Hollywood stereotypes.

I guess this would depend upon how you came up with this so called ideal weight. Most height/weight charts would have people weighing fr below what most of us would look healthy at. There is no way i could weigh what the charts say I should weigh. Additionally, if you dieted to get down to this ideal weight the contrasting views would be quite stark and cause some cognitive dysfunction as to how you look. Given that you were accustomed to seeing the overweight you, seeing yourself at a healthier weight could cause you to see yourself as looking sickly. However, others who did not know the overweight you would have just seen a healthy appearing person.

And that is why complete strangers would shy away from me, often holding their hands over their mouth, either in laughter or holding back vomit, I honestly can't tell you which.

Again, discard the concept of "ideal weight' and apply the concept of height/weight proportionate and you will be much happier. There are too many individual variances in body types for any one size fits all chart to have much merit.

Back to the subjective view.

Again, you are purposely being obtuse. In my statement Ancestors was not referring solely to your family. It was referring to a greater population than just your family. But, you knew this. However, were you looking for congratulations that you come from a line of overweight people? You won't find that here.

I think if one looked at history and ancestors, one would find that for much of human history, people were actually rewarded for being on the heavier side. It was believed that they were more sturdy and, as far as women go, better built for child bearing. As far as my lineage, I can only tell you what is in my genetics. Some people have genetic disposition to being on the heavier side or on the lighter side.

Of course her friend was shot down for saying something about your weight. That is called manners.

Well, we have completely different views of manners then as well. I was always taught that manners also meant not lying.

Watch your joints start to ache, watch diabetes creep into your for things to happen. But, I am sure you won't see them as weight related.

Well, I'm guessing that my joints starting to ache might have more to do with my athletic endeavors and injuries I've sustained more than weight, and as far as diabetes go, well, if that ever comes up, then so be it and I'll deal with that issue then. You'd be surprised at how many people I know who classify themselves as athletic or thin who have diabetes without being overweight a day in their lives.

My favorite doctor always told me this: "You can eat twigs and berries and die of a heart attack at 40 or you can eat what you like in moderation and die of a heart attack at 40. The choice is yours, but either way you are going to die of a heart attack at 40." Well, my choice is to eat what I want in moderation.

I am far from a musclehead and i am far from your perception of a gym rat.

So now you are disagree with my subjective views of others? Pot kettle?

Wow, I did not realize that POF body types were as socially important as slavery, womens voting rights and the voting rights of the 18 year olds.

Pick your battles better. Pick your examples better. Compare apples to apples and not oranges. You are smarter than to need to bring red herrings into a discussion.

Actually, I was going for the bigger picture of societal stereotypes and traditions that are outside of the POF community, but whatever.

You can say you look good and feel good at your weight. But, common sense says that is not true. Common sense also says that you are fooling yourself. But, that is your option to do so.

You keep telling yourself that. Tell yourself that you are happy, and tell yourself that you are healthy. That doesn't make it so. and because you don't have health issues at this moment does not mean your weight is not going to cause them.

Your right. I'm going to go kill myself now because of common sense and you pointing out my psychological flaws.

Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 25
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 6/15/2009 10:11:59 PM
This is a funny, yet serious topic. I understand where you are coming from. I know darn well that I'm not close to average, unless as someone else stated that being big would be average in the US being so many people are.

I used to not understand why people would mark average or thick etc. when they were clearly just as big as I or even bigger. I don't like that on here bbw is with big and tall, because I'm not tall. But definitely a bbw. I would be more of a big, big person vs a round big person. And there are many who are round and big with double chins who classify themselves as average.

After observing closely, I came up with my own opinion as to why they choose to put themselves in the average category rather than the bbw. IMHO, they do this because it seems like a mind trick, "People see you as you see yourself!" This may not work on everyone, but it surely works on many.

It seems that when a big person says they are average or thick, some people don't even notice that they are big, because I'll see where MANY people have left them messages saying things such as "You are thick and so sexy." etc. but never calling them big. Whereas someone else could be A LOT smaller, but say they are a bbw and get no compliments.

The same with beauty. I've seen women who most would've usually considered bottom of the line ugly, but they put on their profiles how beautiful they are, how they are a diva, and have it going on, then they receive tons of messages from people saying the same about them. I've also seen females who were what would be considered top of the line beautiful who never mentioned that they were, and guess what? These super beautiful women didn't get any compliments. And if they did, they were very few and WAY LESS than the other women. (and yes, I know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so hopefully you all don't take what I stated in the wrong way and instead get the point I was attempting to make)

That's my best way of understanding it. Some people really do see you as you see yourself, and people with super high confidence can fool many!
Joined: 7/26/2004
Msg: 26
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:36:41 AM

For myself, I've loved skinny men and men with beer guts. I care how big and heavy the brain is.

Well, I'm pretty sure that Brains are pretty much all right about the same size, so there shouldn't be much difference there.
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 27
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 6/17/2009 10:32:14 AM

Yes "athletic" is subjective as well. I have noticed and met a few who labeled their body types as "athletic" and despite the fact that they may have participated in some form of a sport, their body types suggested otherwise and were far from being athletic.

Demographics, diet, and self opinion all seem to have a major voice on what a body type should be labeled as. This could be a never ending situation.

I recently met someone who labeled their body type as athletic. Upon meeting the person, it was then confirmed that her stomach rolls of large proportion suggested otherwise. After a very brief and low strenuous outdoor physical activity, she was huffing and puffing and I thought that she was going to pass out. The look on her face was as if she got tackled by 10 men. **fail**

False's everywhere.
Joined: 5/9/2004
Msg: 28
view profile
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 6/17/2009 11:01:18 AM
I actually find the BBW choice absurd. Though one can be beautiful when big, it seems to me that the beautiful is in the eye of the beholder, and many who choose this description are stretching the truth, to say the least. I think political correctness has gone too far in so many ways in this world, and that is simply another indicator of it.
The choices would be more accurate if they went as follows:
Let the viewer decide if beautiful is in there anywhere.
I am not proud of being a smoker, its a fight I am constantly battling. No one seems to have reservations about denouncing smokers, but if someone is FAT, they feel that as long as they include beautiful in with the size it is OK. Why don't smokers get the choice of beautiful smoker?
Its nuts!!!
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 29
view profile
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 6/17/2009 12:56:12 PM
Years ago I participated on a dating site where one of the self-description body types was "petite". I figured out quickly that in my neck of the woods women assumed "petite" was strictly a vertical measurement.

I think we're all a bit challenged on how to describe ourselves. Many, many women describe themselves as average that I would consider 'a few extra pounds', but there are others who think of themselves as overweight when they look great.

I haven't looked at my own profile in a while, but I'm pretty sure I describe myself as athletic. I certainly don't have the body I had thirty years ago, but I spend much of my time either playing or working hard physically, and still have enough muscle definition to justify that description in my view, at least for a 51 year old. Still, if someone wanted to take issue and tell me I'm 'average' or even 'a few extra pounds' due to the five pounds of winter weight I've not yet shed I wouldn't quibble.

When I was actively seeking, I used to simply suggest as a first date something physical like hiking up a steep trail somewhere, and I could tell by the reaction a lot more than by whatever box she checked on her profile.

Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 30
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 6/17/2009 6:31:04 PM

Then what is the correct choice for overweight women if 'a few extra pounds' is a lie (as so many other posters have stated) and 'bbw' is absurd? There is nothing between the two. To select 'prefer not to say' is usually enough to make the searcher click on to the next profile, even if there's a complete description of height, weight, bmi, waist size, dress size, etc, in the body of the profile. So really, there's no way a larger woman can possibly tell the honest truth here. Any suggestions?

Extra love? Junk in the trunk? Cutie with a booty?
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 31
view profile
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 8/28/2011 10:05:13 AM
Oh, hell. I had a nice long post about ectomorphs, mesomorphs, and endomorphs, and POF ate it. Can't imagine why the system keeps timing me out....

Bummer. If I can remember just what I said, I'll rewrite it and post it.
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 32
view profile
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 9/7/2011 9:36:22 AM
It comes down to how the profile person sees themself. I have seen the reverse (women who say few extra pounds but could really say average). I don't get "prefer not to say". Your pictures will say it for you!
Joined: 6/7/2010
Msg: 33
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 9/7/2011 10:39:37 AM
I just lost a whole lot of weight and I consider myself a few extra pounds. I dont think im obese aka bbw or anything anymore to be honest. But I could be wrong. But people look at others like they are trash because we arent a size 0 and thats why men as of late have become disgusting human beings imo. i get attraction i do but when you **** and moan about the hot women using you i dont want to hear it
Joined: 6/7/2010
Msg: 34
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 9/7/2011 12:03:53 PM
lmao omg Im not as big as some woman so. I worked hard to lose the weight. Why do I have to settle for a guy who wont even move off the couch? So you can say I am fat but you dont even have a pic up. Whats wrong you are too insecure?
Joined: 6/7/2010
Msg: 35
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 9/7/2011 12:43:07 PM
oh ok my deepest apologies lol. Im a bit skittish about my weight as you can tell overly sensitive right now as it maybe so my first instinct I guess is to defend myself. Very good logic. I see your reasoning. Im still a bit of a fat arse but its coming off lol
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 36
Body types and self delusion...
Posted: 9/9/2011 2:55:44 PM
I'm fat and in the eyes of some, attractive--although there are societal standards for beauty, it still remains subjective..

I have met men who have lied about their weights, heights, ages, and degrees of education. Men and women do this because:

1. They everyone is stupid and won't notice.

2. They think that they are personable and lovable that the lies won't matter once they meet.

3. They are delusional. I have come to see that some men don't outright lie about their heights, but they REALLY think that they are anywhere from two to four inches taller than they are. I guess that they think I lied about my height when I turned out to be taller than they were.

It's what people do!

It amazes me when I see butt-ugly people reject others based on weight or looks, but read posts and profiles--it happens all the time.
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