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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > I can't kick them out, they have a baby      Home login  
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 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 37
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I can't kick them out, they have a babyPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
My original comment was that they dont allow just anyone to join now. High school drop outs, too low a score on the entrance test, not being in physical shape, and a criminal history are not what the military are wanting.

I have one son in the army now. and a second son goes next month.
They have to be average in intelligence. I meant they dont let the average "Bubba" or "Forrest" in. My sons had to pass some tough tests, to get into the areas they wanted, One has even taken extra tests on the internet related to computers, and he has had to have 8 references. He will have White House and Pentagon clearance, due to his going into computers, and explosives, bio warfare.
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 NotTheAverageChick
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 38
I can't kick them out, they have a baby
Posted: 4/28/2009 10:48:18 PM
Use this son as an example of how NOT to raise the other children and start implementing these kinds of changes TODAY so you don't go thru this with the other kids (who are watching this whole sorry Springer episode):

Raise them to think about consequences. When they misbehave, PUNISH them (in whatever way you see fit) EVERY TIME, CONSISTENTLY!
Give them chores, inspect the chore-result, praise or re-instruct.
Teach them how to do business like making their own doctor's appointments, let them go and pay a bill for you.
Gather your actual utility bills, add them up with food, etc. and have them figure how much they need in a paycheck to cover them.
Make them read the want-ads to see how much people make on jobs. In public, ask them to guess how much each person makes, what kind of house they live in, how much education they have/how they did in school, etc.

Be blunt, show your other kids how hard it is to live in this world when you don't make the right choices (in lifestyles, employment, friends, girl-, boyfriends). It's an ongoing process that can start as early as 9-10 years old.

Many public schools now have to have classes to teach seniors these skills because they haven't learned them at home. And the parents are surprised when a 'Jerry Springer' lifestyle results and the parents AND THE REST OF US have to pay the price!
 Landra
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 39
I can't kick them out, they have a baby
Posted: 4/29/2009 10:13:12 AM
If you don't put a stop to it now, this will continue for decades.
I've seen it happen.
The "wayward child" never grows up, but continues to suck the money and life out of mom, who is too weak to do much.
Sounds like these two kids are manipulative and clever-- I'm sure they can find another sucker to fool.
 sriannaailyim
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 40
I can't kick them out, they have a baby
Posted: 4/30/2009 3:57:49 PM

My original comment was that they dont allow just anyone to join now. High school drop outs, too low a score on the entrance test, not being in physical shape, and a criminal history are not what the military are wanting.

I have one son in the army now. and a second son goes next month.
They have to be average in intelligence. I meant they dont let the average "Bubba" or "Forrest" in. My sons had to pass some tough tests, to get into the areas they wanted, One has even taken extra tests on the internet related to computers, and he has had to have 8 references. He will have White House and Pentagon clearance, due to his going into computers, and explosives, bio warfare.


OK but my point is her son isn't a "Forrest" or a "Bubba"- he will be able to get in and if he isn't able to on the first try, the recruiter will tell him what he needs to do. Plus, they give waivers for certain things..... as I said before- it isn't easy, but it definitely isn't hard or impossible as you are making it out to be.
 NotTheAverageChick
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 41
I can't kick them out, they have a baby
Posted: 5/6/2009 8:24:16 PM
To Kaylie:

I didn't mean to be harsh to the OP but really! People act like their kids just "flip out" as young adults but the reason is cuz they're not TAUGHT all along their childhoods.

Sounds like we shared a similar upbringing and I have a friend (like yours) who thought my Mom was too hard on me (cuz hers let her do anything) but she totally failed as a young adult due to lack of personal discipline and ignorance of how the adult world works! It took her about 7 years to finally figure out what I knew at 19!

My mom had to have a similar discussion with my brother and myself that we werent' getting anything for Christmas when my parents were divorcing (Dad was Muslim and used that as an excuse!). She just explained that rent was important, stressed we would have a great dinner, then we would all spend the day playing with the toys we had. I was 6 and voted to pay rent/no toys, my 2-yr old brother voted to buy new toys! Mom had the final vote: rent! But, you know, it was NOT the end of our childhood nor did it make us unnecessarily worry about money. We just came to know what was MOST important - that the family survives! And, to this day, I have no qualms or questions about what's most important! Your kids will be fine! ;)
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 42
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I can't kick them out, they have a baby
Posted: 5/7/2009 4:57:54 AM
My children were not raised with me doing everything for them. I wasn't raised that way and as a matter of fact I think my kids have had more responsibilities than I did because my mother worked inside the home (she had her own upholstery shop in our garage) whereas I have always worked outside of the home, sometimes two jobs, one full time and one part time just to hold things together. All of my children including the oldest know how to cook (at least simple meals) because I will have them help with supper and then at a point when I think they can handle it cook it themselves or with their siblings. They take turns washing clothes, doing dishes and cleaning bathrooms and such. There are no gender lines drawn around here. The difference between my oldest son and my other children is that he has always been more susceptible to outside influences, mainly what his friends were doing and pressuring him to do. My ex-husband also set a horrible example. He abused drugs the last few years of our marriage and I suspect that my ex smoked weed with my son.

Yes, how you are raised is a big determining factor in what kind of adult a person becomes but a young adult does not always choose to live as he was taught. My 17 year old son is the complete opposite of my oldest. He makes good grades, is active in our church youth group, does not smoke or do drugs and makes his own spending money by providing computer repair services. He has seen my ex and his older brother as the bad examples they are and chooses not to follow in their footsteps. These boys were raised the same. Their personal choices have made them very different people.
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