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 AUTHOR
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 169
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Proper Blocking etiquettePage 11 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

Huh... I had no idea this was even an option. That could have came in handy a small handful of times.
I've used it though rarely... I had a group of people that insisted on adding me to their favourite's list and I had no desire to correspond with them at all... so I simply blocked them. No muss, no fuss...
 Captain_Random
Joined: 8/19/2010
Msg: 173
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Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 2/1/2011 7:43:10 PM

Maybe I'm just too new at this, but wouldn't it be easier if we could just politely say "No thanks" instead of leaving anyone hanging?


Yes, but that requires effort and courtesy, two things that are beyond most people who inhabit the internet. Part of the problem with online dating is that it makes rejection too easy. Actually, you don't even have to reject the person. You simply ignore them. No "no thanks" or "Thank you for your email, but I just don't think we're compatible because we don't have any of the same interests. But best of luck to you on your search." Yeah, none of that. Thank God real life doesn't operate that way. Could you imagine asking someone out in person, and instead of them saying "no thanks" they simply ignore you? They pretend to not hear what you said, or acknowledge your existence, despite the fact that you're standing right there in front of them. I don't know. Maybe that's how some people reject others, but I certainly hope they're in the minority. An in-person rejection takes considerably more effort. You have to think up an excuse and deliver said excuse without looking like a monster. But online, you just click "delete." I suppose if you're the type of person who rejects people for sport, then online dating would be a boon to you. It streamlines the process. At least now with the new system, you're spared from seeing that your emails were "Read Deleted," or, even more crushing "Unread Deleted."

I think people need to lighten up about who they choose to reply to. People seem to think "well, if I reply to this person's email, they might think I want to marry them!" Dun dun dun. " Therefore, I better not reply!"

Here's a tip. Don't be wound so tight and realize that any meaningful, lasting romantic relationship develops first out of friendship. Instead of being afraid to reply to someone out of worry that they're going to misinterpret your friendly greeting as an invitation to marriage, just focus on developing friendships with like-minded people who share your interests and outlook on life. I'm here to expand my social circle and make some friends. If something more results from those friendships, that's great. If not, well that's ok too. But if I would've only replied to the women who I saw myself marrying, then I wouldn't have most of the good friendships with the great women who I've met on this site.

In closing...no thanks but good luck on your search
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 175
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Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 2/5/2011 6:49:43 AM
Ouch, brovo! What in the world are you bothering to be here for, if you think that way? If you are only here to share your sourness out to the rest of us, please don't.

As for blocking in general, I really don't care. I've been blocked only once that I know of (who knows, I might have been blocked more, but unless I try to write to someone again, I wouldn't find out), and that was obviously because I failed to please the person enough (I didn't instantly start using their non-POF email, and they took that as a slap in the face). I was mildly disappointed, as I am in real life, that someone didn't know that I am an honorable person who WOULD take no for an answer, but I understood it completely in from a broader view of the world. There are plenty of really nasty people out there, and when they invade your life, even in the form of a written note, it can feel like an assault.
But etiquette? It's just my opinion, but if I think I need to block someone, I really don't care what THEIR response to being blocked is. This isn't just because I will never KNOW what their response is (after all, I'll never have to interact with them again), it's because I don't block people to try to PROVE something to them, I do it to be RID of them. Whether a third-party onlooker thinks that's rude or not isn't pertinent, especially since the only way someone other than the person I block COULD know I did so, would be if they were close enough to one or the other of us, so that they could commiserate about it. Why would I care if the friends of someone I found block-worthy think ill of me? I don't think I'd want THEM in my life either.
So bottom line: anyone who wants to block me, for any reason, feel free. I will NOT be upset by it, I will NOT tell anyone you are rude for doing so. As long as you have no influence over my credit rating, you can do what you like.
 honeycognac
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 180
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/8/2011 11:30:35 AM
Then there are those who block close long-distance online friends, in a sudden and unilateral decision to terminate the friendship. This just underscores the coldness of modern relationships, which are broken by texting or via Facebook. Not only is it impersonal but it's cowardly and surreal.

If those two people lived in the same community, there would be no mechanism, such as a switch whereby one person could make the other person disappear from their life. They would have to find a way to either work out their differences, or abide with each other in spite of their differences.

If the block occurs as the result of a very unfair and mistaken reflexive judgment/misperception, it can leave one feeling very betrayed and cruelly abandoned. It's not exactly a rational and adult way to resolve differences.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 182
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/8/2011 12:44:46 PM
If we're talking about blocking on fishes (which I assume the OP is about)
I just click on block. I wasn't aware there was an etiquette?

I have a mental "block" in my head for people in real life.
Some people you just don't need in your life.
I have no problem telling them so and forgetting about them.

I wouldn't consider that cowardly. I'd think they would appreciate
the honesty.
 ICtheLite
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 184
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Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/8/2011 4:50:48 PM
^^^ Bluez, Are you saying that if a women sends you a message and your not interested, not only do you not reply, you block her ?
 honeycognac
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 185
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/8/2011 4:56:30 PM
browneyesboo, if you're referring to my post, read it again. I stated that it's cowardly to use that tool to block a FRIEND. I have used the blocking feature to get rid of pesky would-be suitors but not to abruptly terminate an online friendship. I don't take these things personally unless I actually know the person and there has been an ongoing relationship.
 ICtheLite
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 187
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Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/8/2011 7:38:52 PM
Bluez .... I guess I look at it like this, if someone is willing to stick their neck out and send me a message, the least I can do is reply one way or the other; and yes, once in a great while they may reply back with something nasty.... to which, now days, I will block them at that point. I can see your point though.

I do understand wanting to avoid the 'why, or why not?" question; but I haven't had that happen via a message.... unfortunately, it comes after that. Maybe I'm going about this all wrong, lol.
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