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 AUTHOR
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 97
Proper Blocking etiquettePage 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

I'd ask that you just be a little careful about branding all guys who might send a second email as losers. In my neck of the woods, the only losers are the guys who give up after an initial email.


In my dating experience, most of the men that send a second email after I have ignored and deleted the first message ARE losers, and I block them because the second e-mail is usually rude. Now, if a man takes the time to send me a nice, respectful well thought-out message, I will respond even if it's just to tell him I appreciate his interest, but don't feel we're a match.

If he sends another message that's nice, I might even respond again to tell him the reasons why I don't think we're a match. It's very rare that a date has ever materialized from a man that I initially rejected, except for one time when a man clarified that his kids were in college and only came home to visit, but were not living with him. I did meet him.
 John Lea
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 99
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History
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 12/18/2009 11:02:15 AM
Ive had experience of 'success with second emails but not the first 'in the sense that you sometimes do get a response the second time, sometimes even a favourable one, but then a bit later you get messed around by the person, and it turns out they werent that keen after all. So maybe its true, if theyre REALLY interested they wouldnt need that nudge. I had this with one person, we got chatting this way, she sent me loads of kisses, and then all of a sudden after several chats she blocked me in the middle of a conversation!!! As it happened, we were also in touch by then on Facebook, so I was still able to contact her. She came out with a 'its not you its me, Im ****ed up' type of excuse for why shed done it, and said she was truly sorry, and that I deserved better. I left it for 2 months, then we started chatting again on Facebook (even though I was still blocked on POF, a fact which she denied), and she even gave me her mobile number without my asking for it!!, and we started texting. By this time she was really into me (she said) but 'kept needing more time to get to know me better 'before we actually met, or could even speak on the phone! Anyway, she finally said we could meet, and then at the last minute bottled it, saying she was going back to an ex from 9 yrs ago, which I found out was BS. Is that messing someone about or what??? Interestingly, the only reason I wrote to her in the first place was because she had added me to her favourites.....
 John Lea
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 100
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Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 12/18/2009 11:07:33 AM
I meant to say that although I was really upset about this, I made a joke out of it, I said to her that maybe she should start up her own TV show, 'Blockety Block'. And I suggested she became the lead singer of our metal band, 'Block Sabbath'. My mates thought this hilarious, dunno about you people reading this. Still, its an ill wind, as they say......
 Turtleherder12
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 101
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History
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 12/18/2009 9:23:59 PM
A guy doesn't have to be begging for her attention. Maybe he'll just be funnier the second time around. Besides, if she's the only one on POF you have any interest in talking to, you either try her a second time or log off. Why not try the second time.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 119
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 2/1/2010 1:19:48 PM

Proper Blocking etiquette

Blocking etiquette for me? Pretty simple: open email; read asinine content; hit the block button.
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 123
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 3/7/2010 8:25:07 PM
I wouldn't block someone merely because they wrote me a couple of e-mails. But I did block someone who after telling him on the phone that I was no interested because he continued to e-mail me. I thought he'd get the hint, but he didn't and so I blocked him after the third e-mail.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 127
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 5/20/2010 12:45:04 PM
OP- actually, if you send someone an email...the moment they "block" you- the sent email is removed from your sent box...
 Ms_6Cs_QT
Joined: 3/4/2010
Msg: 128
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 5/20/2010 10:25:48 PM
i agree.
it's seems this is a huge problem.

i got some weird msg from some ignorant person that said my face reminded him of a water bucket. Like what the hell is that suppose to mean? If that is his way to pick up women, he sure has a lot of learning to do....
 ffryan
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 140
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History
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 6/1/2010 5:04:28 PM
I've got to admit, I get fascinated with the social aspect of this website.

When I first signed up for this site I send a gal an email. I knew that if it was read and not replied to then I'd move on. I checked my sent folder the following day and noticed that the email was gone. I thought there were problems with the site and that it didn't get sent. So I typed up a new one and when I tried to send it I got the message that I was blocked. At the time I didn't knopw what to make of it. I know I was polite, typed an original email (no cut and paste), etc. My next thought was the ignorance of the person I'd typed the email to. That she'd just assume that I'd harass her with email after email. Either this individual was paranoid or full of herself, I don't know.

The whole unread/deleted is the same way. That an individual cannot be bothered to take 10 seconds to read an email. Yes, I know some women get a lot of email. It takes a lot longer to scan my profile than it does my email. Unless you are basing your intent to reply soly on the pictures (which I know is often the case).

A lot of things that happen on this site intrigue me, as a psychology grad doing an advanced degree in human behavior. There are a few questions this website has partially answered for me. 1) If you weren't obligated to be civil or decent to a peson, would you be? 2) If you could take the easy road, when dealing with other people, would you?

A lot of the unwarrented blocking and the unread/deleted paint a very unflattering picture of how people have become in this day and age. It's unfortunate to see how many people take the easy way out and fail to be decent human beings, simply because they are not forced to be. I read these boards frequently and know people always have excuses that sound good. Such as a fear of being spoken harshly to by others (in other words them being a decent, polite person is dependent on how others behave). At the end of the day they wouldn't want to receive that kind of treatment from somebody they were interested in.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 141
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History
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 6/2/2010 2:11:49 AM
I think Nike put it best.

"Just Do It"
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 143
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 6/2/2010 9:08:20 AM

A lot of things that happen on this site intrigue me, as a psychology grad doing an advanced degree in human behavior. There are a few questions this website has partially answered for me. 1) If you weren't obligated to be civil or decent to a peson, would you be? 2) If you could take the easy road, when dealing with other people, would you?

A lot of the unwarrented blocking and the unread/deleted paint a very unflattering picture of how people have become in this day and age. It's unfortunate to see how many people take the easy way out and fail to be decent human beings, simply because they are not forced to be. I read these boards frequently and know people always have excuses that sound good. Such as a fear of being spoken harshly to by others (in other words them being a decent, polite person is dependent on how others behave). At the end of the day they wouldn't want to receive that kind of treatment from somebody they were interested in.



The longer I've been on POF, the less I've used the blocking feature. I'll use it right off the bat if I receive an opening message that is hostile in some way---usually by someone who is disgruntled because they don't match my preferences---for example, I'm looking for someone tall and clean-shaven and they are short and have a beard.

I'll also block if I receive more messages from someone after I've politely told them we're not a match. I had one guy contact me three more times over the span of two months. In all likelihood, he contacts women in mass and merely forgot he'd already contacted me, nevertheless I found it annoying and blocked him.

Personally, I would never take the easy road and block someone simply because I wasn't interested in them. I get a lot of messages, but I try to be civil and decent to people I'm not interested in with a polite 'Thanks but no thanks'. After that, if they get rude or pushy, I will block them.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 147
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 6/4/2010 7:30:21 AM
I've noticed that the read/delete or unread/delete is less likely to elicit an unpleasant response if you wait a couple of days before deleting the message. By then, they are more likely to have forgotten about you. Unfortunately, the green dot has made that a little less likely. If they do happen to send an unpleasant response, that would be the time I would be most apt to use the block feature, but not before then.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 149
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 6/5/2010 12:11:33 PM

I wish the POF mail system would alert you before you try and compose a new email.

Yeah, come to think of it, that probably would be a good idea. You don't want to waste their time, but you shouldn't waste your own composing a new one or even thinking about composing a new one.

if they don't respond after one attempt, don't waste your time. Does anyone else have anything to add?

I agree. You shouldn't waste your time. I would say though, if you are active out in the hunt, and you write a girl and it went unread but NOT deleted... and she's hardly on, and the last you saw before the message expired was unread... she could have just found some guy and neglected her POF mail. In those (assumingly RARE cases), I would say it'd be fair game to write them if later on in time after that, you saw them online and recognized them as "that gal who disappeared around the time I wrote an email and never read it, now back on the market."

Personally I think it is rude to "block" someone after I email. Am I wrong?

Not necessarily. I would say it depends on the kind of guys she gets. You have to understand, some women get guys who flip out if they don't get a response. Or even just feel bad that they didn't respond after reading it and hear from the guy AGAIN, even if he's not that upset or anything. Ya feel bad. A particular gal can get 20 emails a day. She may just want to keep the mailbox as organized as possible.

If it's good etiquette to not email after a no-response, then it's fine to block someone after they wrote and aren't interested. Because them writing again would be non-etiquette, right?
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 151
view profile
History
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 8/24/2010 11:26:07 AM
I actually have a woman blocked on here.
She is very racist and I did not care for what she said regarding my granddaughter.

Amazing .. 2010 and some people cling to the past.

Humans..I really do like the dogs more then most humans I encounter.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 154
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Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 8/24/2010 3:37:57 PM

True story.

I contacted a lady recently who is from my area, and is on POF. We exchanged a few emails. She was nice but direct and said she wasn't attracted, I was a nice guy and all, but she just was not attracted. I respect that, said so, wished her luck.

Few days later, as a matter of routine, I check the local bookings into the county jail..ahem..saw where she was booked on two counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor..oops..

*Disclaimer.. being arrested and convicted are two different matters. All people arrested are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. But..it sure doesn't look good.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 155
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 8/24/2010 4:43:48 PM

also people that right off the bat just say, "can I see your picture?" I block them too.

Why? I can see if it was 1995 or something where that'd be hard to come by, but it's 2010... looks is a requirement for more-than-just-friends.

I could see blocking someone who got pissy at you if you didn't have one handy or didn't want to dole it out... but don't be offended that someone wants to see a pic! That's not impolite or foreshadowing danger!
 lovebeingmom
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 167
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History
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 8/30/2010 11:56:11 PM
yeah I just got blocked earlier today for sending a polite thanks but that i am involved etc. it is on my profile, i am under category single / not looking

but ok meyba he didnt look so he said something like thats good, curious as to why u are on here.

i tried to send polite answer, and found i was blocked. no big deal, but stil i think it is rude. and i think many are much ruder via internet than they would be in person
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 169
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Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 8/31/2010 4:33:21 AM

Huh... I had no idea this was even an option. That could have came in handy a small handful of times.
I've used it though rarely... I had a group of people that insisted on adding me to their favourite's list and I had no desire to correspond with them at all... so I simply blocked them. No muss, no fuss...
 Captain_Random
Joined: 8/19/2010
Msg: 173
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History
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 2/1/2011 7:43:10 PM

Maybe I'm just too new at this, but wouldn't it be easier if we could just politely say "No thanks" instead of leaving anyone hanging?


Yes, but that requires effort and courtesy, two things that are beyond most people who inhabit the internet. Part of the problem with online dating is that it makes rejection too easy. Actually, you don't even have to reject the person. You simply ignore them. No "no thanks" or "Thank you for your email, but I just don't think we're compatible because we don't have any of the same interests. But best of luck to you on your search." Yeah, none of that. Thank God real life doesn't operate that way. Could you imagine asking someone out in person, and instead of them saying "no thanks" they simply ignore you? They pretend to not hear what you said, or acknowledge your existence, despite the fact that you're standing right there in front of them. I don't know. Maybe that's how some people reject others, but I certainly hope they're in the minority. An in-person rejection takes considerably more effort. You have to think up an excuse and deliver said excuse without looking like a monster. But online, you just click "delete." I suppose if you're the type of person who rejects people for sport, then online dating would be a boon to you. It streamlines the process. At least now with the new system, you're spared from seeing that your emails were "Read Deleted," or, even more crushing "Unread Deleted."

I think people need to lighten up about who they choose to reply to. People seem to think "well, if I reply to this person's email, they might think I want to marry them!" Dun dun dun. " Therefore, I better not reply!"

Here's a tip. Don't be wound so tight and realize that any meaningful, lasting romantic relationship develops first out of friendship. Instead of being afraid to reply to someone out of worry that they're going to misinterpret your friendly greeting as an invitation to marriage, just focus on developing friendships with like-minded people who share your interests and outlook on life. I'm here to expand my social circle and make some friends. If something more results from those friendships, that's great. If not, well that's ok too. But if I would've only replied to the women who I saw myself marrying, then I wouldn't have most of the good friendships with the great women who I've met on this site.

In closing...no thanks but good luck on your search
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 175
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Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 2/5/2011 6:49:43 AM
Ouch, brovo! What in the world are you bothering to be here for, if you think that way? If you are only here to share your sourness out to the rest of us, please don't.

As for blocking in general, I really don't care. I've been blocked only once that I know of (who knows, I might have been blocked more, but unless I try to write to someone again, I wouldn't find out), and that was obviously because I failed to please the person enough (I didn't instantly start using their non-POF email, and they took that as a slap in the face). I was mildly disappointed, as I am in real life, that someone didn't know that I am an honorable person who WOULD take no for an answer, but I understood it completely in from a broader view of the world. There are plenty of really nasty people out there, and when they invade your life, even in the form of a written note, it can feel like an assault.
But etiquette? It's just my opinion, but if I think I need to block someone, I really don't care what THEIR response to being blocked is. This isn't just because I will never KNOW what their response is (after all, I'll never have to interact with them again), it's because I don't block people to try to PROVE something to them, I do it to be RID of them. Whether a third-party onlooker thinks that's rude or not isn't pertinent, especially since the only way someone other than the person I block COULD know I did so, would be if they were close enough to one or the other of us, so that they could commiserate about it. Why would I care if the friends of someone I found block-worthy think ill of me? I don't think I'd want THEM in my life either.
So bottom line: anyone who wants to block me, for any reason, feel free. I will NOT be upset by it, I will NOT tell anyone you are rude for doing so. As long as you have no influence over my credit rating, you can do what you like.
 honeycognac
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 180
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/8/2011 11:30:35 AM
Then there are those who block close long-distance online friends, in a sudden and unilateral decision to terminate the friendship. This just underscores the coldness of modern relationships, which are broken by texting or via Facebook. Not only is it impersonal but it's cowardly and surreal.

If those two people lived in the same community, there would be no mechanism, such as a switch whereby one person could make the other person disappear from their life. They would have to find a way to either work out their differences, or abide with each other in spite of their differences.

If the block occurs as the result of a very unfair and mistaken reflexive judgment/misperception, it can leave one feeling very betrayed and cruelly abandoned. It's not exactly a rational and adult way to resolve differences.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 182
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/8/2011 12:44:46 PM
If we're talking about blocking on fishes (which I assume the OP is about)
I just click on block. I wasn't aware there was an etiquette?

I have a mental "block" in my head for people in real life.
Some people you just don't need in your life.
I have no problem telling them so and forgetting about them.

I wouldn't consider that cowardly. I'd think they would appreciate
the honesty.
 ICtheLite
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 184
view profile
History
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/8/2011 4:50:48 PM
^^^ Bluez, Are you saying that if a women sends you a message and your not interested, not only do you not reply, you block her ?
 honeycognac
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 185
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/8/2011 4:56:30 PM
browneyesboo, if you're referring to my post, read it again. I stated that it's cowardly to use that tool to block a FRIEND. I have used the blocking feature to get rid of pesky would-be suitors but not to abruptly terminate an online friendship. I don't take these things personally unless I actually know the person and there has been an ongoing relationship.
 ICtheLite
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 187
view profile
History
Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/8/2011 7:38:52 PM
Bluez .... I guess I look at it like this, if someone is willing to stick their neck out and send me a message, the least I can do is reply one way or the other; and yes, once in a great while they may reply back with something nasty.... to which, now days, I will block them at that point. I can see your point though.

I do understand wanting to avoid the 'why, or why not?" question; but I haven't had that happen via a message.... unfortunately, it comes after that. Maybe I'm going about this all wrong, lol.
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