Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 27
High Maintenance versus Being RealisticPage 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
No...I'm not high maintenance - although it may take me a bit longer to put my warpaint on and preen my tailfeathers than it did years ago, but that's not because I'm a wanna be princess, it's because it takes more paint and deruffling of said feathers than it used to. I don't expect the standard entitlement crap that some women are famous for. The only thing I'm entitled to is earned respect, nothing more. I'm more often than not criticized by the opposite sex because I don't let them "do" for me as much as they'd like. That can be a flaw of sorts, I've learned, because it can give the opposite sex some degree of pleasure to give of themselves and my independence can get in the way of that at times. Whether or not any of my traits is classified as sexy is totally subjective to anyone that takes any interest in me, but it's not something I seek to strive for - I simply am...or I'm not to whoever, for whatever reason.
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 28
view profile
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 4/27/2009 3:59:41 PM
I would definitely fall into the realistic category but I do own an excessive number of pairs of shoes. I think if someone likes the way a woman looks, enjoys her company and wants to jump when she tells him to then he should be happy with his high maintenance woman.

Most people don't want their life to revolve around someone else and yet it I think is flattering for a man to have a woman bother to look nice for him. I am still probably going to beat him out of the bathroom because I was blessed with naturally curly hair and wear little make-up but I can also manage to do the girlie thing occasionally.

I live in an area of the country where a lot of the women look like they are high maintenance because they are always dressed perfectly, make-up, perfectly coordinated with clothing, handbags, shoes, jewelry but you woud laugh your rear off when they are down in the dirt with the little kids at church, they are not divas by any means, it is just that sort of southern rearing as well as a generational thing. One of the gals said the only time she has really seen her mother without make-up was a camping trip when her make-up bag fell into the river.

I think this is one of those situations that people need to really figure out what they want and need long term. Younger guys in particular, like the way the high maintenance woman looks but if he marries her, he may find that he doesn't want to wait for her to get ready to go to the gas station or anywhere else and doesn't want to be treated like a lap dog and to have to deal with an adult petulant child in addition to any actual children that live with them. Similarly someone that initially likes the realistic woman may at some point wish she looked a bit more like the high maintenance chick, enough to perhaps go find a piece of arm candy.

Similarly women want the bad boys until they figure out that they aren't good for much more than being bad, pissing away money or whatever flaws go with that wole thing, or they go after the stable nice guy only to think that they might be missing something so they go out and find a bad boy.

Know what you want and know who you pick.
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 31
view profile
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 4/27/2009 8:01:27 PM
I considered myself high maintenance and sexy ,but sexy- ness is from the *aura *of the person and her selfconfidence of herself and body you can call it sensous-ness or IT , , it is not from expensive clothes,shoes, make ups , perfume,jewelries , A woman who adorn/spruce up herself to look attractive is an assertive and realistic person, especially on her job,friends ect.. the main priority is to retain the attention and adoration of her husband/lover. If she wears real gold, colored stones or diamond earings/rings necklace it added value on her personality.

[ your qoute- " high maintenance " woman is some one who needs lots of time and attention ( needy)'is difficult and troublesome ( spoiled bratswithout conscience ,,,,,,,,, .] [ A realistic woman is someone who is selfless,humble goal oriented,smart not needy ,,,,,,,,,,,,.] Both type can be sexy. But which is sexier ??

Hahahaha, well, a good character is a virtue that signify us as a human beings, but IT is a sexy-ness. If you think that Mother Theresa is sexy that is your opinion and I promise not to argue with you on that.
IT is that animalistic in us that makes us sexy you got it or you don't ...
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 32
view profile
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 4/27/2009 9:46:27 PM
Msg71, [ But don't make it a life style and tease us men and dry our wallets to keep up a senseless relationship....if can call it that. this is from a personal experience.]

When God drop a zillion gutses from heaven did you not catch any ??? You have no guts to say Nah,Nah, Nah, you can not dry my wallet to keep up this senseless relationship !!!!!!!!

If you're involve with a woman like KingKong please disregard my thread and I ask a thousand forgiveness...

Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 36
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 4/28/2009 7:09:49 AM
^^^I agree with you in a sense. To me a woman can't be high maintentance if she's maintaining herself. No matter how much pampering she requires, it doesn't matter if she's not inflicting it on anyone else. She's simply doing what she wants with what she has...

I always felt high maintenance meant someone who expects everyone to cater to her, not someone who's a "self" caterer. In other words - 400 pairs of shoes doesn't matter if she's the one buying em, or liking new clothes and makeovers and mani/pedis doesn't matter if she's the one buying, etc.

To me, HM means she wants someone else to take care of her...financially, or emotionally...or however....
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 37
view profile
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 4/29/2009 6:43:33 PM

The reality is that a so called “high maintenance” woman is a woman who has a healthy level of self esteem. She takes care of herself, physically, emotionally and spiritually, she treats herself well AND she expects others to treat her well also. If they don’t, she doesn’t meekly put up with it, she simply moves on and finds others who value her the way she deserves, as a human being, to be valued.
"Respectable" is anyone with the attributes you listed. "High maintenance" is anyone who takes them to obsessive extremes.

The threshold at which someone determines someone else to have crossed the line into hm is a subject of individual tolerances.

This might be hard to answer since "hm" is so subjective ... but here's an expansion of the original question: Two people of an equal caliber that most folks would consider high maintenance meet. Do you think that being so much alike at such a "high level" increases the chances of the relationship failing?
 no barbies
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 45
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 5/11/2009 12:40:02 PM
Ive always felt that high maintenance was all about money !! Women who only look at men as a wallet and for what they could do for them !! Taking pride in how they look isn't-in my opinion !!
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 46
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 5/12/2009 2:55:18 PM
HA! You go girl!!!!

"puffy bush woman!"

 no barbies
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 47
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 5/28/2009 2:53:40 PM
well gonesailinbabe ur pic shows that u dont have to worry about it !!! U look 60 - have more winkles than a shar pei puppy, and it's obvious that u quit trying to look decent yrs ago !!!
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 48
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 5/28/2009 4:43:33 PM

Women who only look at men as a wallet and for what they could do for them !!
Perhaps the only thing attractive IS the wallet?
 no barbies
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 49
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 5/30/2009 11:23:23 AM
Hey--u made a smart a-- reply to my post, so I did also !! Didn't know u were gonna whine and cry like a 4 yr old !! U also need to learn how to spell !! Ur reply can't make me mad because in order for it to make me mad--I'd have to respect ur opinion !! WILL NEVER HAPPEN !! So-when u post a smart a-- post--expect to get 1 in return !! Do u need ur bottle honey ?? And-as far as gonesailingbabe goes--she always has a rude comment for almost everyone\everything so turn about is fair play !! She's the only 1 that would consider herself a babe !! Look at that pic--her face is blood red--but I guess that drunk as a skunk 43 days in a row will do that to u !!! Bet the 2 of u have something in common !! Every guy you've been with has cheated on u because they couldn't stand to be around u or see u in the daylight without make-up !!
 Make it happen!
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 51
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 5/30/2009 12:31:28 PM
OH, this is good. I would say one is considered high maintenance when you don't really like each other. Funny thing......... when you are crazy about each other none of the matters and each of you love to please. Or, you just cannot afford her and you are out of your league... I personally find some men very high maintenance.......or is that a pain in the *****. Just being realistic...dont' shot me.
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 53
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 1/25/2010 12:58:26 AM
I am sorry but I like pretty clothes and shoes. I wear make up and I do my hair. I like my nails done. I dont do my hair, make up and put together a great outfit for any one but ME. That make me spoil???? I am not needy,,,,,, in fact I find men to be more needy than I could every be......... but that is justified as the male ego. I love a good book as much as I love a great store. I expect the man to make an effort (looks and brains wise) also I will not settle so I am called everything from bitter to bratty.
I dont need you to tell me I am beautiful, I have a mirror for that.
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 54
view profile
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 1/25/2010 10:40:06 AM
My ex said he considered me high maintenance because I was extremely emotionally needy. I don't think needing a little attention other than for sex and wanting companionship is being needy. My SO can go overboard and smother me with affection. Sometimes I need alone time too.

I am not high maintenance with looks either. I don't wear make up or spend hours on my hair and I shop sales for clothes. I have only had my nails professionally done once, a gift from my SO and although it was nice I certainly don't need it on a regular basis. I do not need to be the center of attention and think I have most of the qualities from your realistic traits list.

However, I do own a lot of

I don't see what being either of these type of women or a combination of both has to do with being sexy. I've been told I'm sexy many times and my SO once said I'm low maintenance. It's not about considering myself sexy.

Also I appreciate it when my SO brings me flowers or buys things for me but I certainly don't demand that he does.
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 59
view profile
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 2/16/2010 11:16:52 AM
I read where a post says Admin you and the marketing company see our income level..............

well, you can search acoording to income. So what you put in is what you will draw I guess.

High Maintenance to me = "their needs and wants exceed my needs and wants all the time"

love is give and take, to enrich your partners life by non forced action, naturally.............

High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 2/26/2010 7:20:13 PM
Sounds like an Oxymoron to me.
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 63
view profile
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 2/24/2011 9:31:29 PM
OP> I consider myself pissed off that you are getting away with trolling and passive misogynistic expression.
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 65
view profile
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 2/25/2011 4:55:06 AM
I f I were put in charge of setting the firm meaning of "high maintenance," I would say that the use of the word "maintenance", indicates that what ever it is has to be done regularly, and that "high" refers to what ever it is being expensive. The expense can be in money or in time, or even emotional energy. The term itself, can probably be traced back to sports cars, which are flashy and fun, but require the owner to spend a LOT of time working on them, relative to the amount of time they can be seen gadding about town in them.
Both men and women can be found to be high maintenance, so it has nothing to do with misogyny, in and of itself.

Thus: if you expect OTHER people to fund your needs and or desires, in order to be with you, then you are High Maintenance. If you pay your own way, and only want to be with people who can pay THEIR own way to keep up with you, you are NOT high maintenance, you are just too expensive for us peasants to hang with on a regular basis. That doesn't make you a bad person, just not a compatible friend for us.
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 66
view profile
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 2/25/2011 8:46:59 AM
I don't consider myself high maitenance, but I know what I want. Sometimes I think knowing what you want and not going along with someone elses plan gets portrayed as high maintenance.

Here's just some observations, and I am keying off of this posters words. This is not meant to be directed to any particular poster, including the one I am quoting.

We all WANT something, hopefully a notch better then what we had, right?
But realistically, is it there? Can you wait for your Prince Charming to come and sweep you off your feet, or your Maid Marian to come into your life?

What is YOUR reality? Is there a Prince Charming, or Maid Marian? Or will you have to "settle" (I really don't like that word) for something you don't "want"?

Yeah, I've heard, read, all about..this is "MY" time now..the kids are gone, the husband/wife is dead, divorced, moved on..and now it's "MY" time.

Well..good luck.

In your search for your grail, you are probably going to overlook someone who is looking for you.

But..if you just be yourself, become attracted to someone being themselves..are you going to still wait for the Prince or Maid? Hmm..
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 73
view profile
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 3/2/2011 6:23:17 AM
I think there is a difference between what most folk consider "high maintenance" and maintained. I know a woman that, keeps herself up. She may buy some of her clothes at thrift stores...and buy her cosmetics at Walgreens, but she does her nails[her toes are so cute], smells so good, and dresses cute. I've seen her with her hair up, no sweats and tees, but she is still "together".
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 74
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 3/2/2011 8:00:35 AM
if she has to be "serviced" more than twice a day she is high maintenance .

buying stuff like Prada may not be, only shows you are gullible to pay 50 x what something is intrinsically worth in order to impress other people you don't know. but many, many people do get hung up on status symbols & name brands, and overpay for them, in order to show that they are 'better' than other people
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 78
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 3/2/2011 8:38:25 AM

I was commenting about the post
suggesting people who buy high priced items are out to impress others

OK please explain the 'rational' reason you have to pay 50 x as much for an item that basically does the same thing as other items, of course when the motivation is clearly NOT to impress any one.

but it is "just a coincidence" that these items virtually always have their brand name splattered prominently all over them so that everyone can see the brand logo, right? some highly distinctive logo that is about 5 x bigger than it really 'needs' to

I see you have your stereotype about me ( & "some people" ) needing stereotypes.

the fact that you are soooooooooo defensive about it would seem to indicate that there is at least a teensy -bit of truth to what I said.

it's no big deal, every animal species has status symbols, for moose or mountain goats it is bigger antlers, for peacocks the brightest feathers, etc. humans don't have much like that so mark themselves with things they buy

Don't worry; I'm VERY impressed that you have Prada & Gucci items, you are CLEARLY VERY high-class and a superior human being. Probably more moral than the rest of us too.
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 81
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 3/3/2011 4:34:54 AM
no one needs to explain anything. I know, the 'because I can' marks you as a superior human being in all ways. e.g. anyone with a Rolls Royce > someone with Mercedes> someone with a Ford, etc.. the value of one's possessions = one's value as a human being in our society, no problem there. A Mafia don with a big Mercedes is a better person than a nurse with a Chevy. I get it already : )
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 83
view profile
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 3/3/2011 4:29:16 PM
to me too low maintenece is not that good , my sister rolls out of bed with the same cloths she wore for a few days and complains no guy gets near her hehehe.

seriously it all depends on the persons personal quality , I high maintenece woman who is needy and clingy can be good if she has a beautiful inside it is nice to be needed, but if she is a crazy person with a low quality demanding in a mean way that would really mess things up , not what most guys want. you can be a 1 or a 10 can be the latter.
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 87
view profile
High Maintenance versus Being Realistic
Posted: 3/8/2011 6:06:53 AM
High maintenence simply means a woman who expects you and others to spend more time and money on her which she should be spending on herself. Sure, sometimes what's on the menu needs a little changing to be acceptable, but if it's all the time? That's a bit over the top. Same with clothes or makeup. There's nothing wrong with spending a lot of time focusing on how you look; if you enjoy spending 2 hours in front of a mirror, and picking out your attire for the day, fine. But if you expect other people to sit and wait until you're done past when you're expected to be ready, that's high maintenence. If a guy knows you like 2 hours to get ready, and has a problem with that, then that's HIS problem, not yours (remember, he has no difficulty justifying the hour which encompases the last 'two minutes' of a football game).
Now, realistic is another term entirely; if you like doing all the things that require extra time and money, but it's your OWN time and money, then realistic fits that too. I mean, we're all entitled to do what we like to do, as long as it doesn't encroach on other people's lives. Anyone dating you who already knows how much time/money you spend on yourself should be fine with that. Who's sexier? It really all depends on the individual. I've known both. Some women simply feel/look better after a lot of 'preparation'. As long as they're o.k. with that, so am I.
As far as how many clothes, purses and shoes you have, that's irrelevant to whether you're high maintenence or not.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >