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 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 145
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE! Page 6 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
Of course it makes no sense, and it's going to come out eventually, so why do it? All trust will be gone--if you lied about this, you have lied about other things. Delete!

But as for getting upset--well, not worth the effort. You have already expended effort and wasting more on anger is pretty self-defeating. Besides, people who lie are messaging, "I will do anything to get noticed." I don't want that type of person in my life. I want to know people who are self-confident enought to be honest about age (and height, and jobs, etc.) and self-confident enough to be o.k. with whatever happens.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 146
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/7/2011 4:13:55 PM
Had a woman prevaricate about her age to me. She told me she was 50 (I was 42 at the time). She told me she was 57 when we were, uhm, "doin' the nasty". I didn't think very much about it, but I did mentally scratch her off my "keeper" list...

Arlo...
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 147
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History
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/7/2011 6:53:38 PM
I am not lying about my age,some people even said to me I am running around with an old picture on my driving licence ...
I don't care if people believe me or not..
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 148
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/8/2011 7:40:48 AM
(Halcyon_Skies) If you have to lie about your age in order to get laid, I think that's pretty pathetic. Dishonesty is a bad enough character flaw as it is, without adding insecurity on top of that.


Sorry, Halcyon, but I gotta call you out on that:

Lying for a one-off is NOT the same as lying with the intent of establishing a LTR, or some other gain.

Just as an aside: it's usually the absolutists, who see EVERYTHING as the same, that are the easiest to deceive. If I wasn't committed to using my powers for Good, I might make naughty use of that little fact...

Arlo...

ETA:

(Paderic) In the first post, you imply that age shouldn't matter when you're only looking for a booty call. In the second, you say you lied about your age so that the men you attract for said booty call are in the age range you considered appropriate. So which is it? Is age important or not?


Must be the chilly weather making my brain juices all thick and slow moving, but I see no illogic in her post. If she wants to get a good snogging from a 35 year-old, and in her experience, posting her age as 55 (say) does not get her any attention from 35 year-old men, but she finds that posting her age as 40 (say), DOES get her the attention she is looking for, then yippee.

Age is as important as one says it is, for the purposes one desires. For me, age is not a factor for a one-off. It's rather significant for a LTR. There's nothing illogical about disregarding a factor where it has no impact.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 149
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/8/2011 10:53:58 AM

(Halcyon_Skies) If you have to lie about your age in order to get laid, I think that's pretty pathetic. Dishonesty is a bad enough character flaw as it is, without adding insecurity on top of that.



Sorry, Halcyon, but I gotta call you out on that:

Lying for a one-off is NOT the same as lying with the intent of establishing a LTR, or some other gain.


Okay, let me revise that. If you have to lie about your age in order to get laid by someone out of your league for a booty call, I think that's pretty pathetic. Dishonesty is a bad enough character flaw as it is, without adding insecurity on top of that.

Happy now?


If she wants to get a good snogging from a 35 year-old, and in her experience, posting her age as 55 (say) does not get her any attention from 35 year-old men, but she finds that posting her age as 40 (say), DOES get her the attention she is looking for, then yippee.


Nope, not yippee. A lie is still a lie. It's still pathetic, and it still shows dishonesty and insecurity---no matter how you slice it. The motive behind it doesn't justify it.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 150
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/8/2011 11:33:06 AM
If she wants to get a good snogging from a 35 year-old, and in her experience, posting her age as 55 (say) does not get her any attention from 35 year-old men, but she finds that posting her age as 40 (say), DOES get her the attention she is looking for, then yippee.

If she wants a good snogging from a 35 year-old, she's likely willing to settle for anyone that'll do the deed. Most 35 year-old men aren't going to embrace the idea of snogging someone old enough to be their Mother unless they have no one else to snog. And if John Doe-35-year-old is interested in snogging a 55 year old woman ~ he'd likely not give a ratz-azz about the 7 year age-lie to begin with. There is no justifiable reason for lies of this nature. And it's just creepy to me, for a woman of this age to trick someone into bed. **shudder** Just be frickin honest. Those who want to snog, and don't care who they do it with, aren't going to be worried about whether she's 55 or 62. Well, until they locker-room talk with their buddies. Then they'll likely wish she would have been 45. But that's another topic altogether. JMO
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 151
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/8/2011 3:27:46 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Arlo I like those phrases "snogging & one-off"

I'm touched w/ the concern my fellow forumites have expressed in regards to my past wicked ways

Gotta luv the forums
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 152
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/8/2011 3:30:06 PM
Must be the chilly weather making my brain juices all thick and slow moving, but I see no illogic in her post. If she wants to get a good snogging from a 35 year-old, and in her experience, posting her age as 55 (say) does not get her any attention from 35 year-old men, but she finds that posting her age as 40 (say), DOES get her the attention she is looking for, then yippee.


I was pointing out hypocrisy, not lack of logic. Obviously, age is important to HER when it comes to selecting a bed partner. Otherwise she wouldn't lie about her age to get a younger partner. Then she says that it shouldn't matter to HIM if he likes what he sees.

And that's the selfish nature of those that lie about their age.

I would love to be a fly on the wall when someone tells their partner that they are actually 55 instead of 45 and then the other person says, "That's OK, I'm not 55. I'm really 65."
 M4ry815
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 153
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/8/2011 3:33:48 PM
There are also alot of scammers on these dating sites. I am embarassed to say that I am a victim. If the profile looks to good to be true, it is fake.
 Thomas manning
Joined: 9/24/2009
Msg: 154
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/8/2011 4:18:47 PM
I met 2 girls off here wjo lied about there age that made me think fool me once second one was shame on me lol.
 Schr√∂dingers_Dog
Joined: 11/17/2009
Msg: 155
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LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/8/2011 10:16:00 PM
So, for discussion sake, how is this very different from the countless profiles where someone lies about their size? I can't swing a dead pixel without seeing a picture where a woman [u]clearly[/u] has rolls or a double chin and lists herself as "average".

Okay, yes, that is pretty average nowadays but .... a lie about 30 pounds doesn't seem that far removed than lying about 5 years.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 156
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/9/2011 7:31:44 AM

(Halcyon_Skies) Okay, let me revise that. If you have to lie about your age in order to get laid by someone out of your league for a booty call, I think that's pretty pathetic. Dishonesty is a bad enough character flaw as it is, without adding insecurity on top of that.

Happy now?


I'm always happy. I walk around with a big goofy grin on my face 24/7, one that makes people say to themselves, "What's he been up to?"

I agree that dishonesty is a character flaw; I just don't see the point in getting worked up over a woman who's looking for a one-off, telling her sweetie pour la nuit that she's younger than she is, and I don't see it as "sad". What's "sad" is someone telling everyone that she looks much younger than she really is, and SHE'S the only one who believes it.



(AT) If she wants to get a good snogging from a 35 year-old, and in her experience, posting her age as 55 (say) does not get her any attention from 35 year-old men, but she finds that posting her age as 40 (say), DOES get her the attention she is looking for, then yippee.


(Halcyon_Skies) Nope, not yippee. A lie is still a lie. It's still pathetic, and it still shows dishonesty and insecurity---no matter how you slice it.


BRR!!! I hope you're never on my jury!


The motive behind it doesn't justify it.


*shrug* I'm smart and flexible-minded enough to be able to tell the difference between a big deal, and a trivial matter; and, not given to condescension and name-calling, over trivial matters. I can see that this is far less common than I thought.



(AT) Must be the chilly weather making my brain juices all thick and slow moving, but I see no illogic in her post. If she wants to get a good snogging from a 35 year-old, and in her experience, posting her age as 55 (say) does not get her any attention from 35 year-old men, but she finds that posting her age as 40 (say), DOES get her the attention she is looking for, then yippee.



(Paderic) I was pointing out hypocrisy, not lack of logic. Obviously, age is important to HER when it comes to selecting a bed partner. Otherwise she wouldn't lie about her age to get a younger partner. Then she says that it shouldn't matter to HIM if he likes what he sees.


So? I see NOTHING hypocritical about her statements, or the actions that follow. Age is indeed a factor in endeavours that are important to *HER* (e.g. getting a One-Nighter). And, if a guy gets his ashes hauled by an older woman (which, presumably, is what he wanted), again, SO WHAT?!?


I would love to be a fly on the wall when someone tells their partner that they are actually 55 instead of 45 and then the other person says, "That's OK, I'm not 55. I'm really 65."


Amateur. If you REALLY wanna get inside someone's head, you'd come back with, "The doctors say I'm probably not contagious anymore!" Never answer a slap across the face with a slap across the face -- if someone slaps you in the face, go for the gut-shot.

Arlo...
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 157
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/9/2011 7:47:00 AM
So? I see NOTHING hypocritical about her statements, or the actions that follow. Age is indeed a factor in endeavours that are important to *HER* (e.g. getting a One-Nighter). And, if a guy gets his ashes hauled by an older woman (which, presumably, is what he wanted), again, SO WHAT?!?


She thinks age is important when it's her partner's age but doesn't think it should be important when it's her age. How is that not hypocritical?
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 158
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/9/2011 7:59:09 AM


(AT) So? I see NOTHING hypocritical about her statements, or the actions that follow. Age is indeed a factor in endeavours that are important to *HER* (e.g. getting a One-Nighter). And, if a guy gets his ashes hauled by an older woman (which, presumably, is what he wanted), again, SO WHAT?!?


(Paderic) She thinks age is important when it's her partner's age but doesn't think it should be important when it's her age. How is that not hypocritical?


You have failed signally to prove your case, Counsellor.

Do you *REALLY* wanna know, or are you just playing, "Me too! Me too!", while adults are trying to discuss things? I'll assume that you are honestly looking for a serious answer, naive fool that I sometimes am:

*INTENT*, *WHO* and *HOW*, a lie impacts, are all important factors in evaluating the lie. BlondeDevil follows a course of action that leads her to some VERY SPECIFIC RESULTS (i.e. The Beast With Two Backs for one night), and realizes that mentioning her age is a very peripheral, probably irrelevant, factor in the act. Establishing a LTR is quite something else, and demands a rather different and higher standard of behaviour.

Now, is that clear enough, or should I try again, this time with shorter words (and more CAPS)?

I don't see what the big deal is, if the woman giving me an overhaul is really 55 when she says she's 45. If I'm never gonna see her again, doesn't matter.

Arlo...

(you people need more Zen in your lives...)
 inthroughtheoutdoor
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 159
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/9/2011 8:04:06 AM

So, for discussion sake, how is this very different from the countless profiles where someone lies about their size?


Either one are not okay, however, one is factual and the other is (more of) an opinion. I consider myself average - my weight, my BMI, my clothes size...everything falls within what is considered average for my height (and age) but others may have a different opinion.

But the year one is born in isn't up for debate ... I'm 54 soon to be 55 and whether I like it or not, there it is. The way I see it, at least I made it this far still relatively healthy of body and surprisingly enough still somewhat sane although I'm sure the latter is more of an opinion than a fact:)
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 160
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/9/2011 8:16:44 AM
You have failed signally to prove your case, Counsellor.


Wrong.


Do you *REALLY* wanna know, or are you just playing, "Me too! Me too!", while adults are trying to discuss things? I'll assume that you are honestly looking for a serious answer, naive fool that I sometimes am:


Condescending BS does not sway me. Facts and logic do. If you want to lay claim to adulthood, I suggest learning to discuss matters without injecting personal insults.

*INTENT*, *WHO* and *HOW*, a lie impacts, are all important factors in evaluating the lie. BlondeDevil follows a course of action that leads her to some VERY SPECIFIC RESULTS (i.e. The Beast With Two Backs for one night), and realizes that mentioning her age is a very peripheral, probably irrelevant, factor in the act. Establishing a LTR is quite something else, and demands a rather different and higher standard of behaviour.


Intent has nothing to do with it. I was criticizing the fact that she set lower standards for her own behavior than she expects out of others. End of discussion.


Now, is that clear enough, or should I try again, this time with shorter words (and more CAPS)?


One paragraph of condescending BS wasn't enough so you decided to add more?


I don't see what the big deal is, if the woman giving me an overhaul is really 55 when she says she's 45. If I'm never gonna see her again, doesn't matter.


Moot point.
 Luvincuddles
Joined: 11/20/2011
Msg: 161
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/9/2011 8:18:04 AM
Age is just a number theory just went out the window in this forum
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 162
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/9/2011 8:19:42 AM
I agree that dishonesty is a character flaw; I just don't see the point in getting worked up over a woman who's looking for a one-off, telling her sweetie pour la nuit that she's younger than she is, and I don't see it as "sad". What's "sad" is someone telling everyone that she looks much younger than she really is, and SHE'S the only one who believes it.


I'm not the one getting worked up here---and concocting bombastic diatribes attempting to rationalize that lying to people to get them to sleep with you for a booty call is no big deal. Maybe you don't think it's a big deal, but what if a woman lied to you about something that you DID think was a big deal, such as having a sexually transmitted disease, or a *gulp* FWB?

As far as what you think is "sad"---I agree with you that a woman (or man) looking for younger partners and telling everyone they look much younger than they are, is "sad", but I think the age lying is worse. Being delusional is not as bad as being dishonest.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 163
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/9/2011 9:35:50 AM
I talk the way I talk. I condescend when the statement, or general demeanour, merit condescension. If you don't like the gist of the replies you get, maybe you should consider changing how you come across.


People condescend because they erroneously believe that by putting others down they elevate themselves.


Like I said: if you didn't present yourself as a pompous ass, I wouldn't treat you like a pompous ass. Easy-peezy.


I guess we'll just have to let the moderators decide whether it's appropriate.


Did she say, somewhere, "I think it's okay for *ME* to lie about my age, but I'd hit the roof if some guy lied to me about HIS age!"?

Intent (also known as "motivation") has everything to do with it. I think you need to watch more CSI.


Not in those precise words, but her post was an attempt at justifying the behavior.

Are you seriously advocating a television show as a credible source?
 JCinVicBC
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 164
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LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/10/2011 4:51:33 AM

Age is just a number theory just went out the window in this forum


I think it's still valid, but everyone has different tolerances, and it's up to each individual to decide their own level of tolerance. And that can't happen if some people are being dishonest.

Personally, most of my friends are in their mid-to-late 20s. I tend to get along with them better than people my own age, and have more common interests and such. And I think it would be better for me to date someone in that age range. But I'm not going to try to pass myself off as being 10 years younger than I am, just because I fit better with that age range. I'm sure some of them wouldn't want to date someone my age, no matter how alike we are. And some of them might be too immature for me (though maturity doesn't seem to have much to do with age--I have a few friends around 17-18 who are much more mature than many people my age). By the same token though, although I'm primarily looking for someone between 16 and 35 (prefer 19-30), I treat everyone as an individual. I don't have an age restriction for contacting me, because I'd certainly consider making an exception if I found, say a 37 year old, who is a great match for me, and looks young and attractive. But I would generally expect most women my age to be at a different stage of life for me, which is something I'd want to take into account. So I'd want it to be my decision, not hers by deception, as to whether I think it's worth going to the effort.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 165
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/10/2011 7:24:03 AM
(Paderic) Are you seriously advocating a television show as a credible source?


I'm suggesting that it might educate you about "intent" and "motivation", concepts of which you seem to be thunderingly unaware. Just be thankful I didn't suggest flash-cards, although they might have been more appropriate...


People condescend because they erroneously believe that by putting others down they elevate themselves.


Really? I condescend when I think it'll get my point across, and when the tenor of the conversation warrants... you mean, all this time I've been doing it wrong?

I guess you do understand the concepts of "intent" and "motivation", albeit in a very pop-psychology kind of way.


I guess we'll just have to let the moderators decide whether it's appropriate.




Arlo...
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 166
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/10/2011 8:37:29 AM

I think it's super dishonest.


Like most dishonest behavior, it is rooted in selfishness. Someone that lies about their age is telling you that their desire to date someone in your age range supersedes your wish to not date someone in theirs.
 teetotaller1
Joined: 11/30/2011
Msg: 167
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LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/10/2011 8:55:52 AM
I prefer to live my shoesize, forever UK34 or US5...
age is just a number..I am really 99 some days and 58 on other days..but most times I prefer the child in me. ..so really I enjoy most being 5...

I hang out with people half my age and find those in my age range rather sedate and truly over the hill in both mental and physical attitude..

I am really 58 going on 25...or am I..? who cares.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 168
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/10/2011 1:12:28 PM

I think it's still valid, but everyone has different tolerances, and it's up to each individual to decide their own level of tolerance. And that can't happen if some people are being dishonest.


I fully agree---and I also feel that if someone feels compelled to be dishonest about what they consider to be a trivial matter, they'd be more apt to be dishonest about more serious issues, such as marital status, fidelity, having a sexually transmitted disease, etc.


Like most dishonest behavior, it is rooted in selfishness. Someone that lies about their age is telling you that their desire to date someone in your age range supersedes your wish to not date someone in theirs.


I share this sentiment as well---moreover, I believe they are robbing you of your decision to make that choice for yourself by lying to you. So in addition to age liars being dishonest and insecure, they are also selfish.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 169
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LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 12/10/2011 1:41:27 PM

I am really 58 going on 25...or am I..? who cares.


Who cares? If you really have that attitude, then put your real age. You'll attract other people who don't care.

I'm amused by the ones who "accidentally" did something that made them younger. I'll bet if they'd "accidentally" did something that made them older, they'd delete their profile and start over. When have you seen a profile that said, "My profile says I'm 40 but I'm really 53"?

My social life has come to be dominated by people half my age. I find most men my own age are old, fat, and boring. However, that's no excuse to be dishonest.

If you don't represent yourself honestly on your profile, I'm not interested in meeting you.
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