Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 2
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, OprahPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

However, I often see a general disdain on these forums of relationship talk shows and literature by men in particular. Why is that?


At the risk of getting the crap kicked out of me by the male POF'ers I'd have to say it's the same reason they don't like maps, Mother-in-laws and school teachers.

Men do not like anyone to teach or tell them anything they don't already know. If they don't know it by 18 it's not that important.

Sorry guys! I'm just poking a wee bit of fun at you as a gender, but of course there are some obviously brilliant exceptions to this and you know who you are!
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 3
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 5/1/2009 2:10:25 PM
I don't pay Dr. Phil or Oprah, or Chris Matthews, or Jay Leno, David Letterman, Jon Stewart etc.,

Point not made.
 Landra
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 4
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 5/1/2009 2:11:58 PM
Those shows cater to their audience: generally speaking, women age 25-50 either married or hoping to be. Dr Phil is very biased in that the women are rarely "wrong" and the men are ordered to "change" in ways to please the woman.

Men are not hard-wired to dissect relationships the way women are. Little girls will sit in a circle and discuss how they might play together and make sure everyone is pleased with their choice of play. Little boys will grab whatever is handy and use it as a pretend weapon, play-fighting each other.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 9
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 5/1/2009 2:36:21 PM
Oprah's a Mia Angelo wannabe and it irritates the crap out of me. She is blatantly biased in a lot of her own personal comments but I suppose she's allowed her own opinion like the rest of it - just not usually a good thing when you hold so much sway for so many followers and fence sitting would be more appropriate. I can't stand the way she repeats herself at the end of a statement. She's another case of someone making money and apparently thinking because of it she's suddenly an expert on many things when all she does is mimic others.....I'm rambling....

Dr. Phil - I used to find his sayings funny but that got old fast and, yes, he's biased as well when it comes to siding with women more than men when he's handing out the crap.

I haven't watched either show for awhile to know of any changes to either. I'll have to take a look to see what more I can complain about them for..lol..but this will do for starters.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 12
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 5/1/2009 2:41:18 PM
I have a disdain for these types of shows for several reasons.

I haven't seen Oprah in years and have only seen bits and pieces of Dr. Phil but my sister really likes him . . . which lead to one of the reasons I dislike him.

My sister seems to think that this man is a fount of wisdom, but according to what I understand, he doesn't even have a license to dispense advice. Because he has a TV show does NOT mean he is an expert--it means that he presents himself better. I also don't believe he has the best interests of his "clients" at heart, but his own best interests. Of course he is going to appear kind and as wanting to do things for people: it's what sells his show! If he is going the Jerry Springer route, it is because his ratings are flagging.

And one think I can say for Springer--he was honest about his position as schlockmeister. Phil covers his in an attitude of feigned solicitousness.

People need to pay more attention their own lives and be introspective. There is not one size fits all solutions for problems.
 Stormwolf
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 5/1/2009 3:25:14 PM

Those shows cater to their audience: generally speaking, women age 25-50 either married or hoping to be.

Landra is 100% correct. Note the commericals are female products and
diet plans, .....no Hair Club for men! LOL


Little boys will grab whatever is handy and use it as a pretend weapon, play-fighting each other.


Whoever came up with the saying that the only difference between
men and boys are the "price of their toys" pegged us!
My Diary: ) My car's running like a dream, and I got laid too!
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 5/1/2009 3:32:33 PM

...dissect relationships the way women are.

In gynecological detail, no less. These shows are porn for women. Emotional promiscuity abounds.

Or you could just say the shows are dumb and totally predictable, while men are smart, so we can't bear watching them for more than a few seconds. Especially when Mythbusters or Sports Center is on the other channel at the same time.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 27
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 5/1/2009 3:36:55 PM
I mostly respect Oprah but - too me Dr. Phil is a con man.

Back when he first got “noticed” - a few were pointing at links of information on him. I read all I could find and - made my judgment to consider him a snake oil salesman (fraud).

Anyone know how many Doctors are closet drunks ?

Anyone know how many so called "relationships experts" are on their fifth rocky marriage ?
 26041tero
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 31
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 5/1/2009 4:05:29 PM
If you have a cable, you pay for these shows, if you buy soap or beer or a car, it may be indirect, but you paying Dr Phill and Oprah and all the rest, but then... what is worse... by simply watching these shows you are paying a price that you are totally unaware of. You are forming attitudes and misconceptions about life in your mind and at the same time you are installig fat cells where you really don't want them. and plaque in various other parts of your body wherer you REALLY dont want them .. so you are paying with your mental and physical health basically.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 41
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 5/1/2009 7:04:15 PM
Hm, well, I'm not a fan of those shows, but I DO appreciate psychology, introspection, and finding the motivation behind certain actions.

You can't live in a vacuum, and I DO feel as though a lot of men, when in the midst of a difficult relationship, tend to ignore things -- perhaps hoping they go away? or resolve themselves without their input? I understand the reason that would be preferable, but it's just not realistic.

On the other hand, dang, it sure does seem like some women want the answer to every little thing ("Why didn't he text?" "Is he having an affair if he refuses to let me meet his parents?" "Does he love me if he says he likes my meoln balls?"). Sometimes, a statement is just a statement of fact with no deeper meaning. But guess what? Sometimes it's not.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 5/1/2009 10:52:13 PM
What I have noticed is that when Dr Phil hits home people start squawking like crazy LOL pretty transparent. I don't agree with everything Dr Phil says but I do think he goes straight for the BS and makes people look at what they are really doing. And yeah he was better when he wasn't going for ratings and books sales, etc., he use to be more honest and more in your face. Oprah has bored me for years, she repeats everything she says which drives me nuts and she always acts like everything is new to her, like she lives inside a wad of cotton and never watched the news. Dumb. But I don't watch these shows (when I do watch them) because I need help, it all seems pretty obvious, like Life 101. Oh and that thing where Mrs. Dr. Phil has to walk out with him holding his hand, oh please, barf city.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 58
view profile
History
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:51:37 PM
GSB, brilliant post, the first one, lol, not that the reposts aren't brilliant as well.

Landra may be right about Dr. Phil, I think people hate Oprah because so women started saying Oprah says, and many men wish to believe that women cannot think for themelves and it can't be that there is any merit to anything they hear or read, if it somehow is a problem for whatever he thinks is a great life.

Sheeple, people that mindlessly quote anybody whether that somebody has an agenda or not, are a problem. People who believe that self-help books, etc. are not valuable are frankly illustrating their ignorance because any information that allows us to grow or learn, no matter the source, is a good thing.

If I read something that falls into the self-help genre I read it the way I do anything else, looking for kernels of truth and things that work for me. I have learned a great deal about life and relationships, had some great lightbulb moments, reading novels too. Are those acceptable sources of epiphany?

I haven't really seen Phil much since he got the show. I think frankly that he was more impressive and had more valuable things to say when he was invited on Oprah's show to address specific problems. It makes me giggle when men assert that Oprah is a man-hater; yeah Oprah is the one with the issue.


As for why men don't like the shows, I have my own theory. Our society is set up so that men are not really allowed to complain about anything. We are expected to shut up, suck it up, earn and keep our noses to the grindstone. If a man cries, he's a weak sissy punk who needs to man up and shut up. That's how society and most women treat him. If a woman cries, most men do everything possible to stop her from crying and other women coddle her and anything she feels or thinks is immediately validated. If it's not, the man is wrong and it's abusive.

What people are you meeting? Many men I know b!tch so much you wonder if they are stopping to breath and I know no women that coddle other women, they generally tell them things that are difficult to hear, like take responsibility for your choices and either do something about your situation or stfu. Men are taught to stifle their feelings, yes, but to walk around uncomplaining, not so much.

And Oprah with the book thing, she may have been over-the-top, I didn't see it but I can imagine that when a book club selection is essentially an endorsement, that anyone, particularly someone that felt their credibility was important, would have a problem discovering that she had essentially promoted something that the author indicated was truth that was to whatever percentage fabricated. All he had to do was indicate that it was autobiographical fiction to begin with, book still would have sold because it WAS a good book. Then again, I don't think it was that hard for the publisher or Oprah's staff to vet.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 60
view profile
History
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:21:11 PM
Now see, that is what I liked about Dr. Phil (yes he's a Dr. as in PhD) he jumps women's asses for acting stupid just as much as he does the men. I don't see the bias, I understand not liking him or his show but this bullshit that he lets women get away with bad behavior is a lie.

As for PhD vs MD, I prefer psychologists to psychiatrists, they are more likely to talk with you than at you and they hand you pills and tell them to come back next month to resupply you with more pills. Dr. Phil may not be a practicing psychologist but he is a doctor.

Bash on
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 62
view profile
History
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:26:49 PM
Men don't have a problem dealing with issues or dissecting their problems. We're just smart enough to know that biased phony idiots that stage phony problems on TV that spew out redundant garbage to cater to the lowest common denominator and take advantage of vulnerable people are the lowest form of scum there are. Now if only the people that seem to worship these idiots as gods could just see the truth. There are real professionals in the real world to help with emotional and relationship problems and I think most men with problems would be happy to talk to them. These shows are obvious daytime fodder that have to cater to a target audience. That audience is mostly female (and the odd male with no testicles that likes to be abused for no reason from what I've seen). This is obviously why so many women think these ridiculous shows are so great. I don't have a lot of respect for anyone who could take this garbage seriously. DeAngelo is probably the only person I can think of who also preys on emotionally vulnerable people, that is even lower.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 63
view profile
History
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 7/30/2009 11:08:49 AM

However, I often see a general disdain on these forums of relationship talk shows and literature by men in particular. Why is that?

Well, first of all, they aren't "talk shows". For the millions of watchers, they're "listening shows", people getting off vicariously through others, and particularly their problems, which seems sorta sick to me. Maybe I'd think differently if they contained more substance about the topics they deal with, but they only rarely do. They peddle simplistic black and white answers to complex questions in a complicated and fuzzy world, thus making people simpleminded, rigid and righteous, which only makes things worse.

Second, they give people who watch them the impression they're freakin' psychological experts. You've no doubt heard many use lots of the pat phrases which get repeared ad nauseum as if they actually know what they're talking about. This is extremely annoying, especially because people who psychologize invariably pathologize virtually everything. You see it everywhere in these threads: just toss in such phrases as "low self-esteem", "insecure", yada yada yada, and you've got the simple answer to just about everything. In other words, the shows teach people to substitute meangingless catchphrases for actual thinking.

And, third, they're all geared to a female viewership (something like 85-90%), so they represent a rather one-sided view of things, giving the false impression by their shear dominance that it's the only possible valid view of things. Yes, I know Dr. Phil is a man, and maybe even sort of a manly man by some reckoning, but he knows where the butter for his bread is coming from so he doesn't exactly represent a male point of view except perhaps very rarely and then only for a sec. One of the very telling swindles I've noticed he practices consistently is never having men on who are anywhere near to being as articulate as he is, which sends the very powerful subliminal message that all men are hopeless clods who "just don't get it". Thus women get feelings of superiority, which is no doubt why the shows are so popular with them.

Those would just be a few of my critiques.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 66
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:47:42 PM
One is given to wonder why you think "rational" is better than "emotional" for solving, say, interpersonal problems.
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 67
view profile
History
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 7/30/2009 2:06:06 PM
A good psychologist allows the patient to discover his own inner thoughts and reasons that are behind his behavior....Dr. Phil has one hour so basically he has to TELL them what he thinks is going on and that just can not be effective.
But for drama.........
 7370park
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 69
view profile
History
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 7/30/2009 7:29:07 PM
Because we have not been able to talk to YOU!
 varinia
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 70
Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah
Posted: 7/30/2009 7:48:01 PM
Definitely an Oprah fan, but can't stand Dr. Phil - probably because it's his way or the highway. I don't like anybody giving me orders.

I don't know if Oprah has changed, as I'm going through a 'no tv phase', but whenever I've seen one of her shows I loved it.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >