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 star*tossed
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 173
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?Page 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
gack! Sorry hair ball....wrong forum!
 Lobo_Corazon
Joined: 2/6/2009
Msg: 174
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Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 5/29/2009 12:02:27 PM
A wise person once said - You get out what you put in. To finding someone on PoF, or any other enterprise.

If you're lazy about finding and contacting people, you limit your choices to those who actively look for someone like you and happen to make contact themselves. If that works for you - Well, great.
I'd rather initiate conversation with people who I'm interested in, so that's how I roll.
 melty1
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 176
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Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 3:00:10 AM
I guess it doesn't help if your shy. It makes it very hard to take the plunge
 SportsDiva_1
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 177
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 4:58:04 AM
Absolutely I agree. Many of men like to be thought as being in charge. I just feel like a man's role to pursue a woman is apart of being a man. Men are hunters by nature in the same way that women are nurtures by nature. It bugs me to no end when a man complains about pursuing a woman. Put a pad on that mangina and forfeit your man card then. You'll never see the gazell chase a lion for food.
 SportsDiva_1
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 178
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 5:08:02 AM
THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER FOR YOUR POST. SOME MEN FORGET THAT AN ALPHA MALE IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU DESCRIBED. OMG! THANK YOU AGAIN. YA CANT CALL URSELF AN ALPHA MALE STAND BACK WAITING FOR THE PURSUED TO PURSUE YOU. AND IF SHE SAYS NO YOU KEEP IT MOVING VERSUS LICKING YOUR WOUNDS AND GETTING ALL CAUGHT UP IN YOUR EMOTIONS. I PROMISE YOU CAN TEACH A CLASS! THANK YOU AGAIN!
 SeaCatcher
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 179
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 6:09:44 AM
I make contact first lots of times and I'm a woman. Thought you'd like to know that.
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 180
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 7:56:22 AM
Because we have different settings on our accounts, we may not see some of the women that can see us. Men are the hunters, WE pursue the women. However, simply making first contact is nothing more than a simple "Hi, I'm interested in you!". This should not be gender specific.

Come on ladies, it is OK to let men know you are interested. Just say hi, then you can let the men be men!
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 181
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 10:48:44 AM
Because all a woman has to do to get attention is...
Walk outside...
...and...
...Smile..!!

I'd be ecstatic to have a Lady contact me First....(More accurately...~Shocked~!)
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 182
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 11:01:23 AM
^^

we all might be shocked ..you should find a Lady who really loves cats & can appreciate the attention to detail of a man who constructs cat-walks for his kitties!
 bodypro88
Joined: 10/15/2011
Msg: 183
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 11:12:28 AM
Women do make first contact on here.
 pretzelman60
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 186
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 12:40:07 PM
Because of self image problems and low self esteem issues, I will NEVER make the first move. I am grateful to have met women that were willing to initiate contact. I don't handle rejection very well. Men don't HAVE to do anything to get a relationship started, nor do WOMEN have to do anything to get a relationship. I say this speaking in general terms. BUT if a relationship is to take place, one or the other must take that first step. Why not her?

I am really a pretty good conversationalist and have a pretty warped sense of humor, once a person gets to know me. But until then, I come across as unapproachable. Again, I am very grateful for those women that have seen through this facade. So grateful for women who took the plunge...they had just as much of a chance of being rejected!


JMO
 jd4real49
Joined: 10/5/2011
Msg: 187
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 12:54:31 PM
I made first contact with the guy I'm currently seeing. I just sent a very brief message, like a wink. I really didn't expect to hear back from him. About 2 weeks later he replied and I let him assume the "alpha male" role. I know how to stroke his ego.
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 189
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 2:04:05 PM
lol, I don't know.
Personally...I prefer a man to make contact first.
I can't make contact first...I've never done it.
I always think less of a guy if he asks me to text him or call him lol I'm not sure why...but it suddenly makes them less appealing & I don't follow through. Some ladies don't mind making the first move...more power to them...but it's not for me lol
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 190
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 2:18:41 PM
It's a sheeple attitude, right down to the old tired cave man attitude of hunter/gatherer excuses. Someone said that once so it must be true a gazillion years later because we're apparently still living in the past and haven't evolved. It's a learned behaviour taught by previous hunters and gatherers (parents), not necessarily in our genes. I say - Men, revolt. Contact no women. Take it to the streets, add it to the complaints on Wall Street or wherever else there are uprisings to create change!!
 amblar
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 193
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 5:31:47 PM
cause youre A MAN. get over it and man up :]
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 194
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/25/2011 5:48:19 PM
Really? I've tried sending messages to men first and I was not able to meet up with any of them because they are not interested in me.
 irish eyes6565
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 196
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/26/2011 6:35:07 PM
Tried that, maybe I'm just not dating material, but I might get a response and then it ends. No more contact. Giving up soon.
 nation336
Joined: 10/4/2011
Msg: 197
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/26/2011 7:01:08 PM
I think it's INSANE for a woman not to contact a guy first if she sees a interest. Especially on here! We can't possibly see every woman on here so we may have just missed you. 95% of the time I responded quicker to a woman who has reached out to me then one who didn't. Women pretty much control what's going to happen in any relationship as far as if it's going to happen or not, so why play the games when you already know what your going to do? Alot of problems are avoided that way. Yes, I like the "pursuit" of a woman, but it's nice to be forewarned sometimes!lol
 Plentyofnothinghere
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 198
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/26/2011 7:07:41 PM
Don't give up. We men sometimes get rejected 3,506,095,978 times before we get lucky. Once you've gotten rejected or no response that many times....then you should give up
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 199
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/26/2011 7:31:54 PM
well, there is a difference between how things should be and how they really are. i think men prefer to be the pursers rather then being pursued. i think men lose interest if you chase after them. in addition, i have yet to meet a man that was absolutely crazy about a woman that did not go out of his way to be with the object of his affections. if a woman has to cajole a guy into going out with her then he's probably not all that interested. so, is it really in a woman's best interest to "chase" after a man? if a man is into a woman he'll let her know...so why is it even necessary?
 Pasionlatina529
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 200
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/26/2011 7:36:37 PM
NOT true...at all...I make LOTS of contacts, and get lot of no responses...and have been shot down and been rude...........but also made a few friends..so who says it has to be one way or another...maybe it's just YOUR experience.. smh...IDK...
 Fitchik325
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 202
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/27/2011 5:46:15 AM
I am youngest and only girl in an Italian family. I was taught growing up that if a man is interest he will let you know. Men are by nature hunters and like the challenge of the chase. If a man is too shy or scared to make the first move and pursue me then I am not interested. However on rare occasions I have done my own searches and perhaps sent an icebreaker to a gentleman that perhaps has not run across my profile... But men, if you see something you like go for it!! Send an e-mail that is brief with some substance, A one or two word e-mail leaves nothing to respond to. Also, please don't send a novel. War and Peace in an e-mail is beyond overwhelming and screams desperate and borderline creepy!!

Hope this helps,
M
 waidttma
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 203
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/27/2011 6:10:34 AM
I'm too busy reading my mail to get time
 jmmevolve
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 207
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/27/2011 7:29:06 AM
Life in some respects hasn't changed much since we lived in caves. Men still want the upper hand. The older daters are still wanting to lay back and check all their options before contact.

The upper most topic for men is sex. But if a woman were to join in on the fun of discussion she is bared as dating material in the older generation. There is still a double standard girls - don't get caught up.
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