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 sweetblue62
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 212
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?Page 6 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I have made first contact plenty of times, with no responses at all.
I will send a message to one who is "most attracted" to me.
Still, they do not reply.
I just assume they really aren't interested.
Of course, I haven't found many who ar!!!
I can go days without a message at all.
I wonder why I am even on this site!
Forums are fun.
I guess that is why I am still on POF
 yanni143
Joined: 1/29/2009
Msg: 213
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/27/2011 8:01:07 PM
Im old fashioned as well and would really like a man to send the first message however if the message is just hello youre beautiful than that suck doesnt it. i want more interesting comment or words
 free_pizza
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 214
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/27/2011 10:31:04 PM
If this thread is seeking personal opinions, the answer is: I don't. This site (and internet dating in general) is not usually a productive use of a man's time unless it is the only option available to him. I rarely message anyone on here and long ago decided that I won't actively use it as a dating option -- although I don't discount the possibility that it may happen sometime.

My personal experience:

In real life, I date what would be considered above average women on this site.

Most of the above average women on this site state that they want some type of depth to the initial contact. (If you do it correctly, then you know that takes some time).

Most of the above average women also state that they get so much communication that they delete and/or don't respond to most of their messages.

A + B = C. (I.e., "C" represents a lot of wasted time and effort by the men sending out those first contact messages).

My solution/attitude/whatever you want to call it:

Since my profile is hidden, I don't turn up in general searches although you can see my profile if I click on yours. So I will occasionally get on here and look around and maybe favorite someone who I think might have some possibilities. If someone sends me a message or she just makes the bare, minimum effort to even look at my profile, THEN I will take the time to send a nice, thought out message (still not a novel -- maybe 7-8 sentences mentioning commonalities, giving general compliments, making some funny references, and generally attempting to establish some witty banter). B/c only then do I consider it to be a productive use of my time -- regardless of outcome. But you would be surprised at how few women take any initiative whatsoever when someone shows some interest in them or even take the time to look at the profile of someone who favorited them. Wasting my time sending thoughtful messages to all of those women is not something that I consider productive.

Given the dynamics of this site, it is unlikely that I will go on any meets unless the woman takes some of the initative. I'm okay with that. But then again, I'm not out trying to hound as many dates as possible or casting a wide net in the hope that the law of averages results in a hookup. In other words, to each their own -- but time spent in real life is infinitley better than time spent on this site. JMO.

Now the forums are another story. I think that they're a hoot.
 tigerspawn
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 215
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/27/2011 11:25:01 PM
I agree. They are the same thing as a wink. Sending me a "meet me" request than having restrictions where I cant email you is a waste of time. Than messaging me all pissed off because I didnt message you. Ladies if your going to be upset that a guy didnt message you than take off the restrictions. Than messaging me and calling me names and saying that Im heartless because I didnt respond to your anger. WTF!!
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 217
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/28/2011 1:00:56 AM
rosebuds57

I hear you... Not going to find much of a catch on here in this big pond... I would never contact a guy first. I think it is the male prerogative to do that....Either way there is never much response. lets face it......I am here for the forums too......Much more interesting...
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 218
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/28/2011 1:04:14 AM
tfallen063

Just go for coffee next time. Set aside half an hour....You know pretty well in that time whether there is any interest....... I never expect any man to buy me a meal on first meeting.... It is up to you to set up the scenario....If you ask a woman out for a second time I feel it is up to you to pay.. However if the relationship continues then you can take turns or she can buy movie tickets whatever.,... in this age of many women earning as much or more than a guy, that is only fair.....
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 219
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/28/2011 1:06:31 AM
If you got 30 emails from women I would like to know your secret attraction.
I dont quite get your meaning as the grammar is not good......Okay yes, you can meet occasionally for coffee but so rarely are there sparks, lets face it. Some women are just dinner whores and so on..out for a freebie meal...then again I hear they give it up on first meeting too....either their place or his...crazy behaviour.........
 fit2date
Joined: 9/18/2009
Msg: 220
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/28/2011 1:32:33 AM
Yes you are right. What you been through is no different than what men go through.
 fit2date
Joined: 9/18/2009
Msg: 221
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/28/2011 1:39:01 AM
Sticking with the original subject, your reply really did not help anyone. It is all about you. I grew up in the era when men pursued women too. Present time is not that era.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 222
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/28/2011 7:21:13 AM
It doesn't _Always_ have to be that way...
(I wouldn't mind being contacted by several nice Ladies!!)
It's just Easier for 50 guys to contact 1 lady...than for 1 to contact 50...!!
 chromelove08
Joined: 11/17/2008
Msg: 224
view profile
History
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/28/2011 9:37:38 AM
I message guys all the time because they don't message me. They never message back so it's their loss. Stupid men!
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 226
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/28/2011 11:19:48 AM



Do it Hammertownguy. It may just work. Use "Who wants to date Robert Deniro?" as your headline. Keep your main pic, the baby pic of you and another one outside. Get rid of the last one.

Use the headline from Taxi driver: “You talkin to me? Are you talkin to me?!

It can't hurt.


how about: "who wants to date Travis Bickle" ?

you'd probably look good with a Mohawk & a quick-draw sliding gun unit on your arm.

OR : "Iris , are you out there? "

(Iris was the Jodie Foster character, teen prostitute)
 2goround
Joined: 7/7/2011
Msg: 227
Why when I "IM" a Lady, I never get a response?
Posted: 10/29/2011 5:53:20 AM
I have "IM'd" 100's. and absolutely NOTHING!!! This has been a very discouraging venture to date and I am talking about a time frame of over 4 months!!! Any suggestions friends?
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 228
Why when I IM a Lady, I never get a response?
Posted: 10/29/2011 6:27:48 AM

I have "IM'd" 100's.

Do you just IM them or do you send an e-mail? I think a lot of ladies prefer to get an e-mail, check out your profile, respond if they're interested & then move to IM or phone or whatever. You can't decide if you'd be interested in the person before you accept or decline their IM. There are a couple of other reasons many avoid IM on here, although I'll leave the reasons for that alone for now since it doesn't relate to the topic at hand. I have my IM totally turned off & I understand lots of others do too.
 kcladyz
Joined: 8/7/2009
Msg: 230
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/29/2011 7:59:36 AM
I agree women should be as bold but I am one of those women that never make the first move. I think its in our culture for the man to do the asking.
 kyosho05
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 231
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/29/2011 8:35:51 AM
im still into the old ways if im interested in a woman im gonna do the chasing i dont mind at all
 saffronlady
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 232
view profile
History
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/29/2011 8:45:00 AM
Oh you are so wrong, Speaking to many guys on here they are inundated with mail, while you guys sit back and wait, and then often don't have the curtsey to reply
We dont bite and respond more often than men. :
 chromelove08
Joined: 11/17/2008
Msg: 233
view profile
History
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/29/2011 11:11:27 AM
LOL yeah or a guy will email me and i will email them back then never hear from them again. Do they just wanna see how many women they can get to email them or what?
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 234
view profile
History
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/29/2011 12:45:02 PM

Do they just wanna see how many women they can get to email them or what?

That's what I think. I used to send messages to anyone who had a profile that interested me. Never got any responses, at least none I'd repeat here. When I moved to AZ, I un-hid my profile for a month or so, and continued to send messages to anyone who had an interesting profile. Most were ignored, a few got some rude - extremely rude - responses. I did get a few unsolicited messages, but one was a repeater, every couple weeks he'd send me the same copy/paste message. I finally blocked him. My profile is hidden again, and the closest thing to a message I do is to add someone to my favorites list. If they ask why, I tell them. As for actually sending a message to anyone, I limit that to forumites only - they are much less likely to be rude.

What really boggles me is how many men say in their profiles, 'if anything about my profile interests you, send me a message.' I have, and I've gotten maybe 3 responses that weren't outright rude.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 235
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/29/2011 12:54:38 PM

Do they just wanna see how many women they can get to email them or what?

There are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of men on the forums saying the same thing about women. It's just the way of online dating (or online meeting for you sticklers). I used to get my feelings hurt if someone didn't e-mail me back or if we went on 1 date & I didn't hear from him again. Now I just think...oh well...saved me some time since we weren't compatible. It's like looking for a job online. Not every job you want would actually be a good fit for you & you certainly don't hear from every company you send a resume.

I'm proud of you ladies that you were taking the initiative & e-mailing first. I have only done that a couple of times & all were complete disasters.
 2goround
Joined: 7/7/2011
Msg: 236
Why when I IM a Lady, I never get a response?
Posted: 10/29/2011 5:11:52 PM
First of all, Thank You SC67 for your response!!! I have actually done both email and IM with absolutely no reply whatsoever. Usually I will try to send a 2nd email, possibly try to IM a 2nd or 3rd time, then I figure why waste my effort any longer. I am not sure if the IM thingy is working properly or not as so many seem to complain about not being able to receive IM's in some of their Profiles. But, in the past I have done both email, and IM.
 JLarsson
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 237
view profile
History
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/29/2011 5:15:11 PM
This post is pretty old. Most likely it is thoroughly answered. Women make first contact all the time. Just not to every guy. The ones with the best profiles dont have to make first contact because thier inboxes are full without it.

Abs

You need to flesh out your profile a bit. Your pictures are decent, but you need to put a lot more information in the body of your profile. Let the women get a sense of your perosnality based on what they are reading. Write about what you like to do, where you like to go. Try to avoid negativity of any kind, it is very common in profiles. This is based on reading tons and tons of womens profile, and the reactions to my profile based on what was in the pictures I posted and the amount of text in my profile. There is also a read my profile section i'm pretty sure where they will look at it as you work on it and give feedback. (click forums above and go to profile reviews).
 yffat
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 238
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History
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/30/2011 9:06:51 AM
I make first contact, mainly because it seems to be the only way to start a conversation.
There seem to be a lot of men looking, and/or putting you up on their favorites but not actually saying, HI! I would love to have someone contact me first for a change. No picture seems to equal no contact. I live in a very small community and don't want being single to be broadcast news. Not all men who show up at your door are single! I have pics and will send them to you if and when we have some sort of conversation. But first there needs to be that initial Hello, so I have been the one doing it. I think I am giving up and just reading the forums from now on.
 2goround
Joined: 7/7/2011
Msg: 239
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/30/2011 3:03:42 PM
Thank You, I truly appreciate your Feedback!!!
 swingarm1966
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 240
Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact?
Posted: 10/30/2011 5:42:48 PM
Feminine power is cool if you know what it is. Standing up to pee and the desire for yang energy by woman is repulsive to me. The sexes just cant dance like they use to. We used to be one quite easily now we argue over silly things that take us further away from one.
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