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 AUTHOR
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 5
Online dating doesn't workPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
If you are so negative about online dating, why are you on this site or Match or any other ones, for that matter? No one is forcing you to put up profiles. It is a choice you have made. If you don't like the results, remove your profiles from all these sites and get out into the real world.

There are those of us who have had good luck on here. I've not only met and dated some terrific men, but I have hopefully met the man with whom I'll spend the rest of my life. And both he and I are older than you. There are plenty of men in your age group that are very serious about meeting a woman and having a long term relationship.

As for him wanting to leave his estate to his kids and not you, why shouldn't he? They have been with him their whole lives. If all you are interested in is how much you are going to be left with when he dies, then I hope to God you don't meet someone. What a crass expectation! I married a wonderful man when I was 43 and he was 61. Many people thought I married him hoping I would get his estate when he died. Little did they know that the only reason I agreed to marry him was so my medical insurance would pay for the heart transplant he desperately needed, since Medicare wouldn't. I would have been perfectly content to just live with him. I wasn't with him for profit. I was with him because we loved each other. When he passed away I was left his house, life insurance and a small pension, but I would have traded every cent for being able to spend more time with him. Money doesn't buy happiness and it sure ease the pain of losing someone you loved so deeply.

Once again, if you don't like online dating sites, don't register to be a member. Close your accounts and open your front door and venture out into the real world.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/9/2009 8:04:24 AM
I think you're looking at online dating all wrong: It's merely a "start" to REAL, IN-PERSON dating. And it's only one of many, many ways to meet people. Meeting and striking up a convo in person is always much better. Instant gratification (or lack thereof). You can instantly feel if there's something on her end, and can instantly tell if you like to talk with each other. Online is agonizingly slow and you can't really tell if the sparks are there until you meet in person. So this is just a first step, or an alternative if you're having trouble making connection any other way.
 ççç™
Joined: 4/21/2009
Msg: 7
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/9/2009 10:09:29 AM
"He wants to leave all he has worked for his whole life to his kids, not you. "


HAHAHAH... If this is not a "gold diggin Wh889" quote, I don't know what is. They'd probably leave you something if you were in your 30s.... But since you're over 50, I say you have a better chance with lotto...

Some people...tsk tsk tsk...
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/9/2009 11:08:27 AM
Good gawd OP, do you bring this winning attitude with you when you meet someone for the first time? Sheesh

I think it would be interesting to conduct a poll of the men that have met YOU and what they thought....
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 9
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History
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/9/2009 2:58:45 PM
^^^ Exactly.

It worked for me. It worked for several people I know. For those I know for whom it did not work, they did not put in the time or effort needed, were unrealistic, or had significant flaws that made them undateable.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 10
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/9/2009 3:31:22 PM
Well, this "store" is not about shopping for a relationship, nor should it be, nor should a bar or any other social arena. If you're shopping for a relationship, then you're going at it all wrong. Oh, there's always a chance for that one will occur, if you're patient and your tastes aren't too narrow (or just plain luck).... but that's not the point.

When you're single, you don't shop or look for relationships. That's being desperate. You'll ruin things.

You shop or look for a chance to meet someone who has mutual interest and to get to know them. Then after a small amount of meetings/hang-outs/dates, you then 'shop' to be dating them. Then after dating them you look to be in an established serious relationship with them. Then -after- being in an established serious relationship, you look to bring it up a notch to moving in together, if that's feasible/traditionally-comfortable. Then after that, you look to get married.

See, it should be a step-by-step process in what you shop for. But some people want to be married when single, and that mindset drives them in dating, and they wonder why they're stumbling over their own feet. Insanity when there's nobody in mind, but just the concept of being married. To a bit of a lesser extent, same goes for wanting/shopping for a relationship when you don't have anyone yet. You'd be more into being in a relationship (wanted, being secure, having someone) than an actual person you're with. Very primitive, but thankfully we live in a modern, industrialized society where one doesn't have to (nor shouldn't) be that way.

That's not to say people wanting a relationship or marriage first, and an actual individual 2nd can't lead to something that ends up great. It's just a silly avenue to take, driven by feelings of internal/community/family peer-pressure and emptiness.

The impatience of wanting to be in a relationship can easily lead to someone wanting a relationship first, and the actual person as a secondary thing, as if they're hiring someone to fill that void. That's not how it should be about. Maybe your mindset is clouding things and making things difficult.
 brianmartin
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 11
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/10/2009 1:44:43 AM
You say IN your profile that "online dating doesn't work"...think about it.
 Sweetscott1970
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 12
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/11/2009 2:23:34 AM
Hmmm, I have a girlfriend from Spokane so I know what you mean about the selection:) But, she found me by expanding her circle and while we dated briefly, at the very least we have remained close friends who would not have met without online dating. Take a peak at my thread and if you're interested say hello.
 English.Lady
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 13
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/11/2009 3:00:06 AM
On line dating does work. what hinders one, they lose touch of all reality. The harsh realites of this world do not go away. Many come to these sites as if they think they hit PAY DAY, only to be frustrated.

In summary: This is not Hollywood or Disney's Magic Kingdom. There is no Peter Pan or Tinkerbelle.
 Go Rin No Sho
Joined: 1/9/2009
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:33:41 PM
Well, thanks for the uplifting update, now I have to go off and throw myself off a bridge somewhere so I can feel better....

Of course this stuff doesn't work! Look who invented it, for God's sake! He sold the US out to the Chinese, then wins a Nobel prize for a frakkin' PowerPoint presentation that he didn't even write???? Over a person that smuggled hundreds of Jews out of Europe and faced prison, torture, and execution at the hands of the Nazis?

You think any of this stuff is real?????

If you want real, step away from the keyboard, turn on the telly, and tune in to the "Idols" finals! Now that's REAL!
 bslims
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 18
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/18/2009 2:26:01 PM
Well seeing how angry you sound, I would not want to date you either. Not to mention if you really one to attract someone to your page, try changing up your profile to make it more appealing. Saying how much you hate dating online is maybe not the best thing to say on an online dating site!
 exiss
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 19
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/18/2009 4:26:45 PM
Oh cheer up, Starbucks loves POF, just look at all the extra coffee they sell.

And yes, my ranch goes to my son, not some negative old hide that wants to be set up and steal it from him.....

Just sayin....
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:24:11 PM
Yes... hahah! Sadly, some of us just like lurking around on forums...
It hasn't happened by choice, I assure you. Most of us probably enter these sites all bright eyed and bushy tailed... and some do meet someone... others lurk around all the time, collecting favorites from states and countries too far to visit...
Yes... nurturing a fantasy that maybe one day... one day... they'll meet... THE ONE!

For my part, I just like lolling about now here in my area. It's pretty much useless to want to start a relationship from afar unless I actually live in that area. So for now, I am in a holding pattern flying loops over the forums until I get to move someplace better.... Someplace where the women aren't similar to the men that the OP complains about.

but yeah, I agree that it is sad... Sad that it's come to this... Some people would rather just have the illusion of finding a date rather than actually going on one. It gets very addictive after a while just making contact online but never really meeting face to face. It's curiously impersonal but at the same time... comforting in a strange way... you lose nothing. You gain nothing but maybe some weird self-satisfaction that you didn't fail -- yet. That somehow as long as we keep hovering around not making any real moves, we somehow forestall the inevitable meet...

Anyways, good luck to you, OP and to everyone who hasn't found anybody yet.
 el lagarto
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 22
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/19/2009 1:09:59 PM
Listen to what Henry said , as it applies to here , or anywhere in life :

Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right."

To win the game of life, you must believe you can. By doing so, you're already half way there and the other half will come a lot easier. On the other hand, if you don't think you can win, then no matter how hard you try to accomplish a goal, you'll fall short of your potential.
 Th3 Artful Dodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/20/2009 6:45:40 PM
Online dating most certainly does work! You have to be able to weed out the ones who are here just to stroke their egos and the ones who are disinterested.
"Would you like to hang out sometime?"
"Um.. lets communicate online for a while" or "Its hard for me because I babysit then work nights"
"Nice to meet you! Have a good day!"
Thats how you weed them out.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/23/2009 12:22:29 AM
It doesn't work huh? Coulda fooled me!

Here's a thought.

Even losers whom think they aren't losers, are still losers!

I'm just a loser that is now in a happy and steady relationship. In my book, that makes me a winner. And it's mostly due to POF, but I did have to do a lot of ground work too!

REED: I looked at your profile and it looks like you half-assed it. You get out of it what you put into it. Tear it down and re-build.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/23/2009 5:07:18 PM

, not wanting a wife. He wants to leave all he has worked for his whole life to his kids, not you. And if he does go out with women, it will be ones he forms no real attachment to and the sex will be pretty damned lackluster,

Us guys need to have their lacklusterness posted in vids -- then those greedy kids we're hoping to put through college might be able to help us out with some tips.
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 26
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/23/2009 6:52:08 PM
Yipes, Azureorb! Your msg #20 absolutely it the nail on the head re me, too (broadsided this [ahem] 'broad' -- grin). Thanks very much for opening my eyes, as well as (hopefully) OP's.
 army3
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 27
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/23/2009 9:01:32 PM
Ok, I didn't make it past the first paragraph of the OP here. Right away I said to myself-"self, why does a date have to be an interview? It doesn't have to be like that, yet millions of people get the dumb idea that it does. Why do so many people think negatively like that?"
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 28
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/31/2009 11:10:21 AM
It would work if people did not lie about who they really are and they really want.


I agree. I also think online dating would work better if people were more patient and had more realistic expectations.
 JoeiR
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 30
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 6/10/2009 11:31:14 PM
Reed 1212 said:
half-assed backwords? wtf. My profile is good to go.


Reed, your profile is charming. I liked how you stated you like to go places, chill on the couch and long term relationship. A girl like myself would probably enjoy meeting you.

But...try adding more photos or better photos. You seem cute so far, but they are kind of blurry and wouldnt make me jump. Try that and see what happens
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 31
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 8/12/2009 4:18:18 AM
Well, I for one can tout the fact that POF does work. I have met some wonderful gentlemen on here, had several very nice relationships that turned into good friendships, and am now head over heels in love with a wonderful man that I met on here. Thank you POF for introducing me to my boyfriend...without this service, I would have never had the chance to meet him, and missed out on real happiness!
Beth
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 32
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:34:40 PM
The internet (and or internet dating sites) are merely another avenue for communication. it connects you up to virtually everyone in the world (with a computer and a keyboard) -it opens up the world and brings new people into our lives,

not a guarantee your gonna get a date

How you choose to use this form of communication is up to you
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