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 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 184
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?Page 7 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Impressed to see there are still some of us that are still aware enough to realize this is all an illusion of freedom.
But this false freedom gives us some sense of rights to do whatever we please and that includes procreation. The trinity you speak of isn't expecting total success - just enough to keep the ball rolling and there is exceptable loss.
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 186
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/12/2010 4:18:12 AM
Single mother by choice. ^^^^^^^^^^

And less and less people have a problem with that.
The things they tend to get a little iffy on is what that single mother can bring to the plate without the aid of government subsidies for housing, education and collection of support from a man who most likely didn't want to be father but had little choice in the matter.
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 190
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/12/2010 11:25:29 AM
And lest I repeat myself that women in your situation are the ones who should choose this route, not the ones who aren't insisting on condoms and can't fathom all the ins and outs of the multitudes of birth control options available to them.
You can repeat that it does take two over and over but since men can't get pregnant who has more to lose or deep down really considered a loss? For most women that seem to their crowning achievement in life - to have a child that is conditioned to love them regardless of who they are. Big Whoop.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 192
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History
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/12/2010 12:23:59 PM
Men have choice in the matter, too. It's called a condom. There are failure rates, but this would significantly reduce the chance of unwanted pregnancy.

*Sigh* we just LOVE to assume that men don't use condoms, don't we? Did you know that the failure rate is 15%? In the grand scheme of how often people have sex, that's a lot of failures.

http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/birthcontrol/a/effectivenessbc.htm


many women are choosing single motherhood after the age of 30, when they have completed their education and have sound careers.

Where are you getting this information? This is what I found on the topic.
("U.S. Children in Single-Mother Families" by Mark Mather, Ph.D. Published May 2010)

Three-fourths of all single mothers are in the labor force, and single mothers have slightly higher labor force participation rates than women in married-couple families. However, single mothers are more than twice as likely to be unemployed (13 percent), compared with mothers in married-couple families (5 percent); and the majority of employed single mothers—62 percent—are working in lower-wage retail, service, or administrative jobs that offer few benefits.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 195
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/17/2010 2:06:58 AM
better one healthy parent then having a loser in the picture
i was told to "make an abortion" after my son's father and i committed to marriage.
i told him to take a hike~German JA JA
alas
single mum
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 196
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/17/2010 7:17:41 AM
^^^^^^^^Again with the instantaneous transformation of the guy who used to give you shivers and orgasms into total loser. Are you that much healthier for not being able to have spotted that factor until it was too late? Hmmmmmmm
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 197
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/17/2010 8:31:36 AM
God bless our beautiful kids :)
can make a man a man??? now can we???
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 198
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/17/2010 9:05:51 AM
Try telling your kids they are the spawn of a loser, see how well that goes.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 199
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/17/2010 5:23:28 PM
luckily children are BLESSINGS from GOD
despite who delivered the swimmer
That is why God make GOOD MOTHERS
who love their children.
actions speak louder then words babe.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 200
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/23/2010 3:49:30 AM
i think that it is very sad that my children don't have a father
because they
"changed their minds"
yeah~~~people just GET DIVORCED
Have an abortion
Do whatever is easiest and most convenient for a loser
it is sad when i tell my children that they have no father
because

eh

they changed their minds???????????? pathetic

these men live single
playing the field
cheating,lying, not paying child support
dumping their families like we are schit

they are losers

i reinforce the love that my children have and all of the people that love them
and tell them
someday mommy will meet a wonderful man
she will have a husband
and you will have a daddy

these children shouldn't be forced into no father homes because sperm donor
decided that
NOW
he does not want the kid that he made!!!!
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 201
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/23/2010 3:52:25 AM
the only entrapment was my trust
~~~does anybody really think that we want to BE ALONE
and
raise our children ALONE

because the father's are pathological liars
my mistake was *trust*
and the men were mistakes
my children are blessings:)
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 202
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/23/2010 8:18:31 AM

...and you will have a daddy


... and single mothers are always saying they're NOT looking for a daddy for their kids...

.... FINALLY, a bit of honesty from one single mom at least......

 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 203
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/23/2010 11:59:37 PM
Eh, i have two very happy well adjusted kids.
When people see my kids they are amazed at how happy and silly they are/.
Most children don't have bliss of a tight family nor the love that is prevalent
in their demeanor towards others. Even with my sons problems, adults trained in disabilities can see that they are happy, well loved, playful and secure.

What have you done with your life forumgamer 007clone i read your profile. you are here online to insult people. you are obviously not a nice person.

try working on YOURSELF and look in a mirror. your reflection is not attractive. you are not a nice person.
 glenmar
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 204
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/25/2010 9:10:39 AM
It is happening more today than ever. It is obvious that Women practicing premarital sex are most likely not dating a Man of (faith). Marriage today is a 4 letter word. Doing the (right thing) today is not Marrying, but abortion! After having a child, many single Mothers will value a man of conservative values for marriage. Problem is "anger" (baggage) at the failure of fathers to step up to the plate will often be directed at Him. I have often been impuned & left?! by My dates for "abstaining"? There is something to value in waiting for Your wedding. A good partner will wait.
 glenmar
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 205
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/25/2010 10:15:00 AM
Dear single Mother, I was raised by a divorced Mother in the 1960s. Mom had 3 kids to raise working as a waitress! Support was a lousey $40 a week. Back then there were few helps for single & divorced Moms. Today there are many programs. In light of these things, I just wanted to share some views with You.
You hope to find a good father for Your children some day. I wish You luck. You see I have always abstained from premarital sex. I went to evangelical church by My own choice as My upbringing was atheist. My Mother endured some of the problems You endure. Your concept of a good father is the key. Can You agree a good father: has faith morals He uses, has a savings, is clean, practices self control, cleans his own laundry & house,treats women with courtesy,works towards a goal! Does this sound like a good father? Shure seemed so when I dated for years! BUT many times I was rejected by Mothers & Women just like You looking for a nice guy!? Now why? I determined that My F rating arose from a discomfort in those I dated. It seems that many singles who have run things well for years have little comfort in a guy that crosses His Tees and has his "act" together. Insults like "you men" & "you're all the same" were common! I presented a paradox to them because I did,nt have a (defect)handle sticking out of my back that said "turn here". A lower carnal man is sometimes wanted that won't take control. (Privacy & control)....the first to go in a marriage. So you have to determine what you really think of as a good man. You may realise that he you desire (now) will be unwelcome in your situation later. Best regards,LP
 Kahukura
Joined: 5/3/2010
Msg: 206
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 7/26/2010 9:17:42 AM
I will add another reason. Sex education, too many seem to think the pull out method works and rely on this or tell their friends to. I have now seen several posts from 20 year old range that they believe it works, we had sex education in high school and that was years ago. Whats happening now? Too busy sucking face at the back of the classroom to learn or what?
 ethixx
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 208
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History
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 8/17/2011 1:41:05 PM
I gotta be blunt with this one ,, some women DO ,, think thier vaginas are A T M machines ,, When men jump ship they go far overboard ,but there are women that do it ,with the child in tow ,, looking to drop the child(ren) off to any and everyone , to go off and satisfy her personal needs , ie: shopping ,dating, or whatever moves her ,, not to mention this world is hurtling towards a moral-less existence ,babies are like an accessory,Marriage and commitment are a thing of the past --don't get me started on rant -I'll end with this INTEGRITY -LOYALTY, are bad word nowadays,, it seems everone under thirty has been hit with a SELFISH BOMB.. WITH THE MASS MEDIA BEING THROWN AT THE YOUNGER PEOPLE TODAY THEY NEVER DEVELOP INTERNALLY who they are or will become ,, Gosh we had channels 2-13 maybe 1 HBO ,channel LOL ,, its sad with all this ratrace crap-noone knows what a rose smells like anymore ,, pass the kleenex lol--(single fathers stand the F--- up) BGW
 ethixx
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 209
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40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 8/17/2011 1:42:24 PM
WHY DID YOU PICK HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE ,, BET YOU ARE GETTING A CHECK FOR THAT BEAUTIFUL CHILD HE BLESSED YOU WITH ARENT YOU ?
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 210
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40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 8/17/2011 2:09:34 PM
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?


Because they decided to bear the child that was [probably] a mistake to begin with. Then they [often] cry foul when the guy disappears because he didn't want the kid, but she decided to give birth anyway.

Just because there is a risk of pregnancy, that doesn't mean that there aren't a series of "escape plans" post conception. However, for one reason or another, these women choose not to exercise those options. So they get their lives completely altered and the fathers/baby daddies/sperm donors of their children often get to maintain some degree of normalcy.

It's quite a great power to choose whether or not a conception turns into a life. You would think more women would be a lot less reckless with it. But blame the man for those 9 months of pregnancy, all the potential physical changes from therein, the years of rearing, the compromised job opportunities, the lack of free time, the stereotypes of being a single mother, etc. all when she had about 12 weeks to decide her future, even longer if you add adoption as another option. And as far as the "if you don't want kids [yet], then don't have sex," a look at the effectiveness of abstinence-only education might be quite the eye-opener.

Just looking at the general tone of the single parent forums. It doesn't matter if, as a woman, you were raped and kept it anyway, your husband died, you got a divorce, or you had a sperm donor (figurative or literal). The a myriad of the stereotypes overlap. Essentially anything that requires time and/or money is going to be compromised.


SUPER thread necro....ugh
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 211
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40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 8/19/2011 8:38:09 PM
There are two to "blame" for every child brought in to the world, plain & simple.

Let's face it, the fact that marriage has become less attractive results in more children being born to single mothers. Children can not, after all, be born to men. Perhaps we need to deal with reality rather than look to put each other down.



It's quite a great power to choose whether or not a conception turns into a life. You would think more women would be a lot less reckless with it.

Certainly it is a great power, nearly as powerful as feeling the life within you stir, something you neglect to recognize. Just as you neglect to recognize how difficult a decision it is, not to mention the fact that for many there is no option at all, for a myriad of reasons.
 kaylawhyard
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 212
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 8/20/2011 5:06:57 AM
guys, you have no idea how women feel the moment they find out they are pregnant and it wasnt planned. i, personally, wasnt strong enough to abort my child and i seriously doubt i couldve given her up for adoption. yes, i am bitter at the sperm donor because it takes two to have a baby. im fulfilling my part, i feel he should have at least come to one appt while we were together or her birth (especially since he told me over and over how he wanted to be apart of her life the whole pregnancy). me now? im taking care of my daughter the best i can on my own. him? living with his gf hes had since i was about 20 weeks and her three kids and hasnt asked one thing about her since she was born. bitter, yes. but its not like i expected any different with our culture the way it is today. thank God she looks just like me!
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 213
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 8/21/2011 11:37:25 AM
maybe some of them *were* wed or living together until they got pregnant and then the pater decided to skeedaddle before the birth - hence the 'unwed mother' bit

and no, it's not a good thing, but it's a living-in-reality thing for today
 sweetcheeks2222
Joined: 5/13/2011
Msg: 214
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40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 8/25/2011 7:50:47 AM
some people dont dont believe in marriage...i am one...i believe if that is the one person you want to spend ur life with and have a family with why go thru the process of marriage. i wasnt tryin to get pregnant and was on birth control but it still happened and he ended up being abusive so that is why im single now. and the child im pregnant with now pretty much the same thing but he wasnt abusive just a liar. i didnt know i was pregnant til i had 3 months left of my pregnancy. pluss things just happen.
 NewToTN9
Joined: 11/12/2010
Msg: 215
40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 8/26/2011 8:25:57 AM

Certainly it is a great power, nearly as powerful as feeling the life within you stir, something you neglect to recognize. Just as you neglect to recognize how difficult a decision it is, not to mention the fact that for many there is no option at all, for a myriad of reasons.

Yet it always boil down to fulfilling "her needs, wants and dreams" while his are largely ignored as he as to accept the decision besowed upon him! The significant portion of "unplanned" pregnancies are a clear indication that other forces are at work, forces often giving zero regards to the man's wants and needs. And then you wonder why men run?!?!
 Doouglass
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 216
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40% Babies Born to Single Women 2007/ Why is This Happening?
Posted: 9/6/2011 4:28:21 PM
Your question should read:

Why are couples getting married before they have children?
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