Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 167
what do men consider overweight?Page 11 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Don't worry nobody thinks someone chiseled with MUSCLES is "fat".

Not every body. I dated a guy for a while who was on the Morgan State Football team. Something over 6'4", and gorgeous. The DC police department wouldn't hire him because he was "FAT." I'm here to promise you that man did not have one ounce of fat on his entire body. Period.

So much for "nobody."

 ben1man
Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 168
view profile
History
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:50:18 PM
This is a subject that will always make men seem shallow or weak. You see if I were to tell you that overweight starts at a certain height and number of pounds then I would come off as being shallow and if I toyed with what is commonly referred t as being large but not specifically identify where the cut off between being big and being overweight I would come off as being weak because I wouldn’t put a definite on size differences. However I would rather seem shallow then to come off as weak and after some long thought on this subject I will conclude that every man will see women in different ways. I will offer my opinion on this subject and hope I do not offend anyone but the best way to look at what is what when it comes to women and size is to look in the back of mail order catalogues. There you will find depending on what company you are looking at a size chart that will offer sizes according to bust, waist and hip sizes they will follow up with a height chart to determine if a woman is considered petite, average or tall then they correlate all of that information to small, medium, large, extra larger and double X as well as putting the number sizes into the chart.

Now based on that bit of information I like to believe that if your wearing a medium you can consider yourself average. Its also safe to say that most men are or would love to have an average sized woman or smaller. However we would allow a large woman to be a part of our lives given some circumstances. As insensitive as I may sound I understand that people go through changes; childbirth is probably one of the biggest. So if a woman wears a large and has a child or two most guys are accepting to the changes that pregnancy has brought about. But lets say she is wearing a extra large then we become concerned if she is really a BBW (Big Bold Woman). There are some men who really go for larger women but I'm talking about averages here and not exceptions. Smaller women don't suffer the same fate as larger women mainly because with a small body men wont have a problem until you're so small that you look like a child or your skin seems to be falling off your bones (in other words sickly).

I would say that being on either ends of the spectrum is, liking to men who cant hold a job or have a place of their own; you know what I’m talking about the proverbial looser that a smart woman shouldn’t date. I would like to also take tis time to point out some traditional facts about society and how we look at women. The beauty and fashion industry sells us on the image of a flat stomach though more and more a bump is what a casual observer sees. So if you have a small bump, fine and dandy as long as you know that it means you will be doing crunches for weeks to work it off. But women are the customers to the fashion and beauty industry and as the customers you when you buy the magazines, dresses, makeup or accessories you say you’re comfortable with the image they are selling. Also for years and even today a man is measured by his success; the woman on his arm reflects that success so if a heavier woman were on the presidents arm most of us would look at him as unsuccessful. Deep down in the backs of our subconscious this is why men seek the thinner women in this country. The double standard is that if you are fat it’s acceptable even for women (look at Oprah Winfree) but you still have to have a partner that is in shape or at least fit looking. On a more shallow note which I realize will get me looked down upon (but I'm just being honest) its said that you can close your eyes and imagine a different face but you cant feel a different body no matter how hard you try. Point is if your on the larger side and a woman get with it and do the right thing so that you don't have to worry about if you are too large or not.
 joemac356
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 179
view profile
History
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:08:55 PM
Trying to gauge what "Men" think is overweight is like trying to gauge who "Men" think is the best guitar player. It's absolutely too subjective.
I tend to prefer against the grain, probably because of what I'm accustomed to. I grew up with three thin sisters and a trim mother. My brother and I were thin. My dad was thin/small/average. My cousins were all average or thin.
Every relationship of the romantic sort I've had, were with thin, even skinny, girls.
My first wifey was 5'0" and 88 pounds. She fit right on my lap quite well.

My ex of 27 years is 5'6' @ 115. Effortless spoon. (Was)
I'm 6'2.5" and gaining, back up to the 175 that I'd been since high school.
I'd lost 55 pounds the fun way: got sick and went into hospital and nearly checked out.

I see profiles where they've got, "curvy" and it looks like they've taken a bit of liberty with the nomenclature. "A few extra pounds" sends this boy a-runnin. Too many are usually sporting multi-chins and their biceps are the same size as my thighs.
Muscle takes up less space than the same weight of fat, so it's different for everyone's weight/height/bone structure. I know overweight (to me) when I see it, and I know I don't wanna see it neckid.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 180
view profile
History
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 10/29/2009 11:19:58 PM
Exciting1: "well, most of the men i know are in the southeast, and i totally am trying to make a move north. the social environment is a big factor. the guys that i've had the most success with have been from the north."

I agree 100%. Replace "southeast" with "Texas" (or at least include it in the statement) and that's my experience. I am SOOOO moving back [north]east, where college educations and fitness are the standard.

But lets not confuse being overweight with "failure". Look at Laura Bush..... I dont hear too many people criticizing her appearance.
 Genuine_Gentleman_For_You
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 184
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:48:04 PM
All I know is that my preference is for someone that does not weigh more than me, and I'm 5'10" and about 175 lbs.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 185
view profile
History
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:11:04 PM

I've seen her in person, she is curvy in my opinion. Each person has their own definition. Remember, I come from a culture where a b-cup and a butt of any sort is considered voluptuous.


That's the culture in Kansas???


:facepalm:
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 187
view profile
History
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:26:44 PM

I wish! But I've only been here 9 months. I was actually referring to Korea, my heritage.


Ahhhhh ok


 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 191
view profile
History
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:09:31 PM

I have been losing slowly and consistantly for about 1 1/2 yrs, with 30 lbs to go. It seems even that much is a huge problem for most men. Why?

because they prefer a more slender look. everyone gets to have preferences, including you.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 192
view profile
History
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:58:02 PM
This is an incredibly difficult thing to define, as it will differ based on each person's preferences. So much depends on fitness level, frame and how the weight (fat and muscle) are distributed. There are plenty of exceptions to almost any generalization you can make!

That said, I have my baseline preference - from which some variation can exist and still be attractive to me. I find a woman who is 5' 7" tall and 125 lbs to be close to ideal. Add or subtract 5 lbs per inch, and allow a +/- 10 lb variance from that figure - works for me and my preferences, but may not for anyone else. Generally, if you calculate BMI from these numbers, they tend to fall in the lower half of the normal BMI range (19-22).
 JennyDD80
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 194
view profile
History
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:11:19 AM
I live in Fort Lauderdale, FL. That should say enough right there! The men down here are ALL looking for the barbie doll type no matter what her personality is, I just don't get it. Now, I think that I'm a very attractive woman, but I tell I won't even get a second look from most men down here, I DON'T GET IT!!!

I consider myself Average weight, I've lost 30 lbs in the past year and only have 15 left! YAY! But, I have a great personality, good looking and still am only hit on by complete, alcoholic losers in south florida.

I do feel that the area you live in attributes to how people generalize weight/ looks!

Maybe I should just move! LOL
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 195
view profile
History
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:23:45 PM

I live in Fort Lauderdale, FL. That should say enough right there! The men down here are ALL looking for the barbie doll type no matter what her personality is, I just don't get it. Now, I think that I'm a very attractive woman, but I tell I won't even get a second look from most men down here, I DON'T GET IT!!!

I consider myself Average weight, I've lost 30 lbs in the past year and only have 15 left! YAY! But, I have a great personality, good looking and still am only hit on by complete, alcoholic losers in south florida.

I do feel that the area you live in attributes to how people generalize weight/ looks!

Maybe I should just move! LOL


I'm thinking that you should move. Because you look amazing, perfect the way you are!!!
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 198
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:52:25 PM
Seems to me if you have to sit up and catch your breath in between tying each shoe,
you're overweight.

or have Congestive Heart Failure. . . .

 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 201
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 11/11/2009 8:55:59 AM
Probably what they consider overweight (for me) is at least 20 pounds more than I consider overweight.

At my height and frame my normal healthy weight window is 128-133 lbs according to general health specs. 133 to 138 inclding muscle weight. For me seeing 135 or more is cause for concern.

I figure as long as my standards are higher than most guys on my body, there's nothing to worry about. I doubt I'd worry anyway though as I tend to be more worried about what I like than what anyone else thinks.

Bottom line is where you are happy with yourself.
 Nightfall301
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 207
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 12/7/2009 9:23:52 PM
For me, the definition of overweight encompasses more than what the scale says. As with so many other physical attributes, weight is over-generalized.
Very rarely do I see weight charts take into account bone mass and muscle mass. Even worse are the bloodwork numbers our medical community is working from. I swear they must have gotten them from a temple of tea-drinking monks in Tibet.
Overweight to me is largely an issue of laziness.
If you're soggier in the midsection than you think you should be, and you make more than one pass down an aisle in a parking lot; in order to find a closer space, so you won't have to walk so far - You might be overweight. (Or you might have made a poor choice in your footwear.)
If you've ever considered using the electric cart at Wal-Mart, because you just don't like walking - You might be overweight. (This is a major example, to my mind, as I saw it happen numerous times - the most memorable of which left a one-legged World War 2 veteran sitting on a wooden bench, waiting for one of the lazy slobs to free up a cart.)
If you "Super Size" based solely on price, not because of hunger; or if you're unable to bring yourself to order separate items, when you don't need everything that comes in the "value meal" - You're probably well on your way to overweight.
If you drive to your mailbox, and it's less than 500ft from where you live - AND you leave your car running, with the door unlocked; so you don't have to go to all the effort of turning the key to start the engine again - It's probably too late for you, AND your vehicle could be stolen in about 2 seconds flat.
Convenience is fine, and all - but at some point, inconveniencing yourself in the name of health might not be such a bad thing.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 210
view profile
History
what do men consider overweight?
Posted: 12/8/2009 12:58:54 PM
Bottom line for me is this: when I see you naked, would I say "Ooh!" or "Eww!"? And if I suspect my reaction would be the latter, we'll probably never get to that point anyway!

And yes, while BMI isn't perfect, it's a good starting point. We all have our preferences and ideas of what's acceptable, so details will vary by individual. I also have a preference or "sweet spot" that's 5' 7" and 125 to 130 pounds. Scale weight up or down with height, at about 5 pounds per inch. Can I look beyond this? Absolutely! It's a preference, not a requirement.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >