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 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 75
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male PartnerPage 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
L'd MAO reading the responses in this thread

Jokes aside, for me I think what it boils down to is: Do him and I share the same values, visions and (general life) goals? .... Those three topics already cover most of the stuff OP listed.

On the other hand, IMO what looks good on paper doesn't necessarily = being foolproof in practice. ..... Its good to have a general idea of some traits & chracteristics that jibe with ones own character ... however, realistically, the dynamics of a relationship, compatibility and chemistry involve more than just a long list of desireable traits ... (although looking like a greek god wouldn't hurt ... not gonna lie about that )
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 76
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 7:37:27 AM

Jokes aside, for me I think what it boils down to is: Do him


The true wisdom in that statement is more apparent if you stop right there!


I know Exactly what EVERY woman wants...I won't tell you guys here...you gotta buy my books, CD's, sign up for my newsletter and workshops...
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 78
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 7:45:15 AM
@ jco415: :facepalm: *doh!* ....
 1charlie5757
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 80
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 10:51:41 AM
Why do women choose me to listen to there problems with other men?
 1charlie5757
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 81
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 10:53:29 AM
Thank you. I feel for you, but I feel better now because I have only been on here for 1 year. Only met one woman face to face, dated a few times, but she just wants to be friends.
 ThatGuy1082
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 83
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 3:39:55 PM
NO! A woman will still want more and grow unappreciative. Then she'll dump you for some do nothing bad boy with bad manners, no specific goal in life, a criminal record, who is in denial about his drinking problem, and has 2.5 kids he doesn't see or support. THAT'S WHAT WOMEN WANT!
 professorjjd
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 84
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 3:41:30 PM
[I would imagine it would get boring. Crazy idea here. Get a job. Or volunteer your time. Imagine how much impact you could have on your community if you spent 8 hours a day 5 days a week volunteering. That would be very appealing to women. ] Actually, b4 I "retired", I used to work one of the most "heart appealing" jobs to women you can imagine, I worked in a animal shelter helping homeless and lost animals find their owners! You would think I'd get some female attention at least for that! Alas, NO! What it all boils down to in this country is what a man "has", how many toys and how much he's worth financially! Unless he's a jock or a "jersey shore" type ahole(god, those are some ugly guys, with bad attitudes), he's NOT going to get much attention from ladies, PERIOD! Thats the harsh reality we live in, in this country at least!
 professorjjd
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 86
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 4:14:39 PM
Yep, attitude begets attitude, hence, the reason I haven't dated in so long I actually can't remember the last time anymore.. Regardless of attitude, some males simply do not have the "popular" looks required for women, or the required wealth, so many many males will never find anyone, at least I'm not the only one! Too bad I am not religious, I might have been a good candidate for being a priest! Of course, with all the scandals, it seems that priests seem to be doing their share sexually too! HAHA
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 89
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 5:44:21 PM
I have seen profiles that have a wants/requirements list a mile long (figuratively), but what they bring to the table much shorter. If I can't bring the same thing to the table I am looking for (values, etc.) then I'm not being fair and balanced. Just trying to keep my expectations realistic. Jco415: But wait there's more! Order in the next two minutes and get the following bonus...all for the incredible price of...operators are standing by...
 Theophannia
Joined: 5/7/2010
Msg: 90
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 6:52:11 PM
OK I had to jump on this one. This would be us describing who would, to us, be the perfect man?

Here is my list.

Listening: Listening to a woman means do you HEAR what she says, do you ABSORB/PAY ATTENTION to what she is saying, are you TRYING to understand by reading between the lines if need be, do you ACCEPT what she has to say as this is what she thinks and how she feels and what she believes (AND RESPECT THIS) EVEN if you disagree. By ACCEPT, to be clear, I do not mean agree but respect that that is how she feels and what she thinks and that is OK that she feels or thinks that, and if you disagree can you TALK TO HER CALMLY ABOUT IT AND OPENLY AND HONESTLY WITHOUT TAKING OFFENSE.

Communication: Do you respect her verbally. Are you open with her spiritually, mentally, and emotionally when communicating, and HONESTLY. Do you communicate with her in a respectful way.

Manners: (Does he open doors for you, Seat you 1st at the table, Offer his seat to a woman when none are available, does he show proper Etiquette at the table or does he eat like a hog and talk with his mouth full). Does he treat you and the others in his life, both personal and pubic, with respect?

Trust: Can you trust him MOST IMPROTANTLY physically, then emotionally, which are pretty much equal, and mentally. Do you feel that you can talk to him about anything good or bad, without fear either physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.

Dependable: (Do you Trust him & his Values or his thought process / Is he dependable If he says he will be there are you left wondering or does he show up. In short can you rely on him?) Does he DO what he says he is going to do? If you NEED him for something, is he THERE and INVOLVED.

Honesty / Integrity: (no one likes a liar, Honest opinions are valued as much as telling the truth when no one else will / Does he follow thru on his word or do you have to be there to see that the deed is done?) Please also see above about emotional mental yada yada honesty, under communication.

Sense of Faith: (Does his sense of Faith help him to become a better person to accept his own faults yet grow and strive to evolve into the man others would look to). DOES HE ACCEPT YOUR OWN FAITH AND RESPECT IT WHETHER HE AGREES OR NOT? IF HE DOES NOT AGREE DOES HE TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT RATIONALLY AND IF YOU DECIDE TO BELIEVE YOUR WAY IS THAT OK WITH HIM.

Good with Kids: (whether or not he has kids or not does he like to be apart of their lives include them in his or be there with advice & help them with there homework).

Repair modern Vehicles: I really dont care about repair modern vehicles. This for me would fall under responsibility and intelligence. DOES he know how to handle problems, whatever they may be, effectively and intelligently, or have the humility to admit that he does not KNOW the solution and seek out the solution to the problem.

Emergencies: (Regardless of how one happens does he remain calm, assess the situation, and act effectively to resolve the situation either on his own safely or call for 911 and help to keep everyone calm). Does he do this in a moral way. Does he prioritize the emergency and deal with it on a priority basis (for instance a house fire, first priority would be call for help and get the children out, sectond priority would be to get wife out if she was still inside, OR get whole family out at once.)

Intelligent/Wise: Intelligence is great. WISDOM is better. Both are awesome. Intelligence without wisdom is useless.

Humble: Not proud or arrogant; modest, courteously respectful. Can he admit when he is wrong or does not know how to deal with a situation, and either rectify the wrong or find out the solution.

Building skills:Not very important to me if he has the intelligence, wisdom, humilty, and responsibility. This would, then, be already got it covered.

Cooking: (Can he really cook delicious home cooked meals or bake cookies from scratch that are NOT in a frozen bag (cr*p I sound like Betty Crocker). Low on list but definately a plus. Also healthily cook. No one wants to die of poor eating habits. Also sanitary in the kitchen is mandatory.

Romantic: (watching thunderstorms together, painting your toe nails while you’re tied up in bed, brush your hair with his fingers while you watch a movie together on a quiet night, making love to you under the stars of the sweet dessert ski).

Personal example: My husband, when we met, would run hot bubble baths for me and pour me wine, while washing me. Mmmm HMMMM.

Affectionate: (Do you see the affection in him in how he cares for you, your kids, his family & his friends)

Health and Hygene: Does he take care of himself? Does he try to stay healthy? Does he have good hygene habbits, both personal hygene and environmental hygene. HUGE ONE HUGE HUGE HUGE! IF YOU DONT HAVE THIS ONE YOU ARE UTTERLY UNDATABLE! SERIOUSLY I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. IF YOU LACK HYGENE, YOUR FRIENDS SHOULD DEFINATLY LOOK INTO BUYING YOU THE "YOU, OUT OF THE GENE POOL" T SHIRT.

Driven/Passionate: (when he has, whatever he sees’, in his sights, does the passion in his drive to achieve his goals shine thru whether it’s pleasing you, his job or his hobby). Does he have a drive to improve himself and his life, and if you are building a life together then your family life as well. Does he not just have this drive but ACT on it.

Responsible: Does he understand about priorities and put them first. IF YOU HAVE TO ASK ON THIS ONE YOU ARE UN-DATEABLE ANYWAY.

Bedroom: I don't care what anyone says, sex and chemistry are always going to be important to any lasting relationship. Is he EMOTIONALLY PRESENT AND AVAILABLE in the bedroom AND OUT OF IT? Does he try to communicate to you what he would like and what he enjoys and find out what you like and enjoy, and do the two of you follow through on these things. Does he respect your boundaries, and set his own.

Women, ALL WOMEN, have three basic needs that must constantly be satisfied to keep her happy at all times. These are does she feel VALUED, does she feel SAFE, does she feel CONNECTED. Check out What Woman Want Men to Know: The Ultimate Book About Love, Sex, and Relationships for You--and the Man You Love by Barbra De Angeles. TRUST ME I READ THE BOOK AND BOUGHT IT FOR MY EX. IT WAS THE FRIGGIN BIBLE OF ME. (Obviously he read it and did NOTHING with it). And I guarantee that no matter WHAT else, if you can master what this book explains, LITERALLY, well, that will be the male who can honestly say he is gods gift to women. Thank you for your time. Oh and women, you may want to pick it up because it will GREATLY aid you in communicating your needs feelings thoughts wants ect to your partner in a way he will hopefully UNDERSTAND. It was written FOR men after all.
 4x4fan
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 91
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 7:14:54 PM
Usually when someone makes a "list" of what they want and are looking for they usually ignore the giant white elephant in the room (this goes for male and female). The "giant elephant" being they want their partner to be great looking. Everything else is negotiable, or he/she will be get credit for having all those other things because they are attractive.
Honestly EVERYTHING on your list matters less than a rats ass if you don't find them attractive.
 professorjjd
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 92
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 8:35:36 PM
Too true, women can say EVERYTHING they actually "want" in a man, but what it boils down to is a shallow idiot of a male who looks like the butt ugly jersey shore type guys, THOSE are the guys that women swoon over, the god's honest truth! "nice" intelligent unique guys, may have skills coming out of their ears, don't stand a chance against brainless idiots like those types!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 93
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 8:49:55 PM
Professor: There it's a difference between initial attraction and lasting love. Looks may get you in the door, but what's on the inside is key to lasting love. It's about connection. 50 year marriages would not exist if it was only about looks. If we fade on the outside, hopefully we shine brighter on the inside.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 94
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 9:01:18 PM

Too true, women can say EVERYTHING they actually "want" in a man, but what it boils down to is a shallow idiot of a male who looks like the butt ugly jersey shore type guys, THOSE are the guys that women swoon over, the god's honest truth! "nice" intelligent unique guys, may have skills coming out of their ears, don't stand a chance against brainless idiots like those types!

Sorry, but this is NOT what MOST women want. Those boys (yes, not yet men) on Jersey Shore are mindless twits who happen to be on TV, if they weren't? They'd be just another face in the crowd like the rest of us. What matters to most women is character, attitude, similar interests, sense of humor, humility, honesty, and of course, physical attraction. The really great thing about physical attraction??? No two women want exactly the same thing. I'd never date someone "GQ" or model looking. That's just not me. I prefer edgy/unique. I don't have one lady friend that would be attracted to same man/men I am, nor would I be attracted to the man/men they are. What's hurting you isn't your appearance ~ as there's nothing wrong with your appearance (other than you do not smile which makes you look sour/jaded/angry and/or disgruntled.) What's really likely doing you injustice? A defeated attitude. Fix that and you'll likely be quite surprised at the attention you receive. JMO
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 95
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/3/2011 9:08:35 PM

Too true, women can say EVERYTHING they actually "want" in a man, but what it boils down to is a shallow idiot of a male who looks like the butt ugly jersey shore type guys, THOSE are the guys that women swoon over, the god's honest truth! "nice" intelligent unique guys, may have skills coming out of their ears, don't stand a chance against brainless idiots like those types!


It happens both ways. ... there are men out there who go for women based soley on their physical attributes and can completely overlook a bad character or lack of noggins.

I don't know why some men get so hung up about his when it obviously exists both ways.
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 96
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/4/2011 12:22:55 AM
LOL ... I agree w/ what Maffers said!



Why the hell would any person be needed to keep someone else happy!? Seriously that is so wrong on so many levels. NO OTHER PERSON should be in charge of someone else emotions! Isn't it universal all sexes want to feel Valued, Safe and Connected to the ones they love? Oh Wait you read it, then wanted him to read it in attempt to change him. Lovely... Work on yourself and be happy with yourself first... Got to just wonder why someone would push a book on someone else... You push someone into anything its a recipe for disaster every time. Heres a freaking hint if ya can't love them the way they are move the hell on! Once you run into the end of the road of why every relationship didn't mold to the form ya placed them into it wasn't them it was YOU! There is your clue on life... Learn from it...


Anyhoo .... back onto OP's list/original question. .... I can't claim to speak for all women but personally since I have a great relationship with my dad it may not sound surprising for me to say I look for the same traits which I admire in my dad. .... He's taught me the value of honesty, integrity, intellectual wisdom and so much more. ..... He's also an awesome cook, DIY handyman and the last person I know who would still be standing there for me when the world falls apart. Not only was he a brilliant dad but also a full-time mother to me and my siblings when my mom wasn't around ... I shall consider myself lucky if I can find a man who possesses in character, half of what my dad possesses!

 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 97
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/4/2011 12:41:17 AM
@Maffers: I second that motion. Can't change somebody. Change comes from within themself. They have to initiate their own change. Otherwise, changing for someone is only temporary. You can offer tools for change, but choice to use it is theirs. The measure of a good man: action matches words.
 professorjjd
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 98
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/4/2011 2:05:18 AM
You should NEVER change yourself to suit others! Otherwise you are NOT being yourself, you're trying to be someone else! Guess its important to love who you are too! I know I do!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 101
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/4/2011 6:03:48 PM
@mysterywoman999: I absolutely agree. Using sex as bartering tool/currency is a form of manipulation. I have heard it referred to as legalized prostitution. It should be absolutely mutual and not a business transaction. The one thing I am trying to keep in mind is that no two of us are exactly alike. Keep an open mind to stay flexible when it comes to other person's needs.
 4x4fan
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 102
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/4/2011 8:53:51 PM
Yes, there is a difference between initial attraction and lasting love. However you will NOT stand a chance of being with someone for 50 years if there is nothing more than physical attraction. But...without physical attraction you won't be with them for even a week. Regardless if you may have all those other good qualities.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 105
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/4/2011 10:48:33 PM
I think they want:


JUSTICE
JUDGMENT
DEPENDABILITY
INITIATIVE
DECISIVENESS
TACT
INTEGRITY
ENTHUSIASM
BEARING
UNSELFISHNESS
COURAGE
KNOWLEDGE
LOYALTY
ENDURANCE


Oh, wait....those are the Marine Corps Leadership Traits.....
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 106
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/5/2011 8:27:46 AM
@maffers: ying and yang...opposites attract! Funny how with each new generation, the list gets longer. Despite that divorce rates keep going up. Ask any couple married 50 years and the list is probably short, simple, but realistic.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 107
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/5/2011 8:37:53 AM
^^^ My list is pretty short;

Attraction
Trust
Respect
Communication



If we have those four things, we van make it work.....Unfortunately those are some VERY tough things to find in one person and have mutually.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 111
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/5/2011 4:14:41 PM
@MekkLovin..I agree 100%.SPOT ON!!!!Yes there is a difference in saying and doing.If a woman at age 40 has been with every dead beat in town(Jail birds,drunks,drug dealers,arrogant types,lazy POS)Then she can say she like decent/respectful guys until the cows comes home.That does not mean what she wants.Just look at a woman history.I wish i had dollar for every woman that claims she wants a good man,Then her actions speak volumes.BOTTOM LINE!!!!Actions speak louder than words.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 113
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/6/2011 2:50:01 PM
This sums it up pretty well IMO

Be what you are, and hope everyone else does the same. So when you hit it off with someone, you're both enjoying the authenticity of eachother, and not ticking off some stupid checklist.

Well put MetDBlck (msg # 135) Thanks.
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