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Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 111
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male PartnerPage 4 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
@MekkLovin..I agree 100%.SPOT ON!!!!Yes there is a difference in saying and doing.If a woman at age 40 has been with every dead beat in town(Jail birds,drunks,drug dealers,arrogant types,lazy POS)Then she can say she like decent/respectful guys until the cows comes home.That does not mean what she wants.Just look at a woman history.I wish i had dollar for every woman that claims she wants a good man,Then her actions speak volumes.BOTTOM LINE!!!!Actions speak louder than words.
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 113
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/6/2011 2:50:01 PM
This sums it up pretty well IMO

Be what you are, and hope everyone else does the same. So when you hit it off with someone, you're both enjoying the authenticity of eachother, and not ticking off some stupid checklist.

Well put MetDBlck (msg # 135) Thanks.
Joined: 5/7/2010
Msg: 114
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/6/2011 4:10:41 PM
Why the hell would any person be needed to keep someone else happy!? Seriously that is so wrong on so many levels. NO OTHER PERSON should be in charge of someone else emotions! Isn't it universal all sexes want to feel Valued, Safe and Connected to the ones they love? Oh Wait you read it, then wanted him to read it in attempt to change him. Lovely... Work on yourself and be happy with yourself first... Got to just wonder why someone would push a book on someone else... Your interpretation of the book is going to be different then his.. You push someone into anything its a recipe for disaster every time. Heres a freaking hint if ya can't love them the way they are move the hell on! Once you run into the end of the road of why every relationship didn't mold to the form ya placed them into it wasn't them it was YOU! There is your clue on life... Learn from it...

UNTRUE! The book is designed to help couples communicate their needs. In a lasting relationship both parties must be willing to understand their partners needs and be there for each other. NO two people are born completely compatable for each other. It is about BEHAVIOR changes. For example, your wording when disagreeing in an argument. Saying I see what you are saying but I disagree is ok, as it does not send a message that what you said and feel and think is not valued, but if you were to word that "well that was stupid, sometimes I think your opinions are childish, WHAM, you have just devalued her feelings and opinion in that one statement. And lasting relationships REQUIRE compromise. WHY? Cause there are no fairy tales. If you still think GOD sat up in heaven and shaped a person's personality for you, you're chasing a fairy tale, and you will never be satisifed with the person you are with. You don't want the woman you are with, or any that comes along, you want the woman you made up in your head.

The book is NOT about changing each other. Its about changing bad relationship patterns. If you think that relationships do not take work, compromise, and a willingness to change bad patterns in your life for the betterment of your relationship and yourself, you are NOT ready for a lasting relationship. Being happy with yourself does NOT equal a good relationship with others on its own. Point and case: I don't care how happy you are with yourself, if a mans reaction to everything you say is to dominate you and tell you what HE thinks wants and thats the end of the conversation, it doesn't matter HOW happy you are with you, you still wont be happy with HIM. You may however, decide that instead of working on the issue you can use that to end the relationship, which is fine, I however prefer to have a relationship where we work together to better things by respecting each other enough to change bad patterns.

Too true, women can say EVERYTHING they actually "want" in a man, but what it boils down to is a shallow idiot of a male who looks like the butt ugly jersey shore type guys, THOSE are the guys that women swoon over, the god's honest truth! "nice" intelligent unique guys, may have skills coming out of their ears, don't stand a chance against brainless idiots like those types!

Bull. I just got married in July, the 13th, to a man who is NOT a high number on the physical scale, however, that is NOT why I married him. And just to let you know, I have previously dated professional underwear models. My husband is also on social security, so NO he doesn't have MONEY either. However, I am married to HIM and NOT the underwear model, nor am I married to the cute doctor I could have hooked up with. WHY? Because both of the previous men could bring nothing else to the table but either their looks or money, while my husband brought the things I wanted most, romance, understanding, compassionate, ect ect ect.

And just so you know, NONE of the men on jersey shore have a girlfriend, or are married, and are just in the game to get laid, the only one that IS in a relationship, all they do is fight cause she's constantly jealous. So if your standard for a relationship is Jersey Shore, you got a long way to go.

BTW I did put a pic up of me and my husband.
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 115
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/7/2011 10:01:53 AM
What women want: a guy who doesn't sit around obsessing about what women want. ;)
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 117
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Posted: 9/7/2011 11:35:24 AM
thats cause we are stupid and buy into the hype, hahah i so wanna record my girls face when i dump her ass hell with being a great guy...

funny a woman with multi kids thinks a guy should accept her kids and most women dont even make as much money as the guy or to me really bring much to the table as the guy.but we are to have a good job,car,not cheat, get real..

this is why i only date rich all they want is sex and attention.
and all i give them is a good time and i'll call when i want to...

wake up men!!!
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 120
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/7/2011 9:16:22 PM
You forgot funny number one trait I look for, if I hear an echo of my voice in the room busting a gut, I know I am in good company.
One of the things I look at is his other relationships, do people enjoy his company or seldom talk to him.
Protector well yea, I will have to say that I am still looking for someone to curl up with and keep me safe, no matter how independent I am.
Romantic, affectionate and passionate are pretty much tied into a person who not only really wants you, but also knows how to show his feelings.
Emergencies I am good at, so that I could let pass, trust and the willingness to believe in something bigger than your self are absolutes................
Manners I find is directly related to how a person grows up, if they grew up like a weed, than they usually do not have manners and sometimes do not know how to love someone enough to teach them valueable tools for living.
Manners are also a sign of respect, which is another one of those absolutes.
Let's start with a wink and chuckle and go from there.
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 121
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/7/2011 9:22:32 PM
I think I might have one of the qualities listed . lol

This "what women want " sort of thing is what you might read in a woman's magazine .
Is it not ? Because I would not get passed the first line and I barely skimmed the OP or any long posts .... zzzzzzzz snore .

Women want this and that and the other and more . There is no end to the list of things women want . Don't even bother to try to figure out that list . Just be yourself and some woman may come along and "settle " for you if you are lucky ....or would that be unlucky ? The jury is still out on that one .

Women are long on wants . I've heard too many .
Blah blah blah .

I want a woman to shut up and serve me a beer and then for her to wait quietly for what I want next .

Guys wants ? .... How about a few less wants and perky breasts .
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 123
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/8/2011 11:17:33 AM

women dont have a rodent's rear clue what they want

Of course they do it is just like when they go shopping. They want the newest best most fashionable thing out there.
And just like shopping when they find something they think is worth trading up for they will throw that had to have item on the yard sale pile and head for park ave for the new and improved model.

Which is why I am a serial dater and want nothing to do with the word marriage.

Nothing like being able to pack a bag strapping it to my Harley and heading out to any destination I choose.
W/o having to explain it to a wife/SO.

So keep banging your head trying to figure it out if you want to....... Just like when repairing a car if the dash lights are not working the first place to look is the fuse panel......Not stripping apart the wiring harness.

As it is most likely the simplest explanation that is the correct one.
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 124
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/8/2011 12:30:23 PM
there's also one more to add to the list. Willingness to help with the responsibilities around the house or being the handyman EVERY female likes to take advantage of.
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 125
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/8/2011 1:45:58 PM
Listening / Communication: Good

Manners: ( Not important to me

Trust / Dependable: Good

Honesty / Integrity: Good

Good with Kids: Not important to me

Repair modern Vehicles: Not important to me

Emergencies: Not important to me Can handle emergencies myself.

Cooking: Not important to me

Romantic: No Thanks

Affectionate: Good

Protector: No thanks, not looking for a father or someone to protect me.

So there’s the list. Is this what a woman wants in a man? Am I a generation to late in these beliefs of what a man should be?
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 126
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/8/2011 1:50:53 PM
~OT~ I don't know what all women want, I only know what I want. I want a man that knows what he wants. Sadly, this seems to be a VERY big "want."
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 129
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/8/2011 11:56:09 PM
Barbra De Angeles... Major quack... Nuff said...

LOL MAJOR QUACK! I tried reading that tripe after my divorce because basically I was 18 again...and had no clue! I had to stop reading though because it became apparent that HER ideas are what kept me in my marriage far longer than I should have been!

Now, I get my needs met...not by being deceitful, but by being honest and communicating....and by letting it be known that we share or I walk.
I will not be in an uneven relationship either direction.


What women want changes like the wind....What women NEED are REAL MEN

Now, some men THINK they can act real by being macho or the bad boy etc....THAT's all a ruse....a passive aggressive attempt at getting sex and using women out of an actual deep seated disdain of them.

A REAL man does the right thing even when no one is looking, stands up for what's right even when it's unpopular, does what's necessary to maintain justice in the face of defeat, says what needs to be said knowing it might be unpopular or that he might suffer loss because of it, uses tact and discretion,holds his woman up on a pedestal...but expects HER to keep her balance! Last, but not least, he holds HIMSELF to a higher standard than he does for others.
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 131
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 12:27:39 AM
Jco415 is absolutely correct about what a real man is. It's about being honorable and having integrity. A real man isn't perfect, but he takes his mistakes, learns from them, and becomes a better man. This is more important than any long detailed list. @maffers: I understand where you're coming from about cheating. Cheating is a choice, yet some people try to justify it by saying they were driven or pushed to do it.
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 132
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 1:01:06 AM

Cept the pedestal part I'm looking for equal...

Of course SHE has to keep her balance....metaphorically and literally... I'll put her there but she's gotta stay on her own...I'm talking about that special girl BTW.

Ya know, with my divorce some real revelations came to light...

It turns out that she felt entitled because every time we had rough times that I thought of us making it through the adventure TOGETHER, she looked at as having to endure FOR me!

That even though it took years for her to speak up about an issue, and even though once known, I'd correct the issue...she felt I OWED her for the years BEFORE she spoke up.

She also decided that she no longer wanted to go to counseling if all I was going to do was TATTLE on her! Yes, she ACTUALLY said that!

Um....Isn't counseling where you're supposed to get the issues out?

Her own counselor had to basically scold her a few times (We went to HER counselor.).
I was leaving, she wanted me to stay, but had a list of demands for me... Her counselor told her she was in no position for demands from ME since I already had enough and it was HER idea for me to stay! She really never understood that!

BTW, I never cheated...on any of my some cases I think it would have been easier for them to take if I had...
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 134
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 3:07:42 AM
@athenashelmet: I hope I haven't come across as jaded. I have shared my experiences as a way to contribute to the thread. I treat this like group therapy. I am focusing on my role in my failed relationships. It's a learning experience for me. In my profile, I keep my list short and not ask for more than I can bring. I ask for things you can't put a price tag on. #1 thing couples fight about is money and that may be a big factor in martial issues in United States. They say money is the root of all evil.
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 136
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 3:26:29 AM
We have been on a lot of the same threads. Being kind to other posters whether I agree or not keeps the thread from getting snagged. There is no one right answer to solving issues. As long as I keep my mind open to many perspectives, I have more opportunity for learning and growth.
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 138
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 6:31:01 AM
I think that many women and men are full of anxiety about having the best lifestyle and living up to the hype about what it is that will give them " fulfillment" or what ever the ideal of the day is .

I would think that women might want something in a man that is not listed here and that would be contentment . Just to feel good with out stressing about whether the relationship is this or that .
Everyone could use a little less wants and needs and just to relax about it all .
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 139
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 9:06:50 AM

Cooking: (Can he really cook delicious home cooked meals or bake cookies from scratch that are NOT in a frozen bag (cr*p I sound like Betty Crocker).

Yes Please! to the cookies.

No relationship is perfect, doesn't exist, you can always find problems.

I agree wholeheartedly on that Maffers. And I think mature people realize that they also take some work to make work. But it shouldn't be a chore though.
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 140
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 10:47:43 AM
The absolute funniest thing I have noticed on this site is, EVERY freakin man on here wants - no, thinks he is ENTITLED to - a gorgeous bikini model-looking woman. Yet the put in no effort themselves. FYI, beautiful women have many, many men asking them out. They can choose the one who is most attractive to them.

I think you must be joking ?

The problem I think is that women can act like they are very attractive when they are not . It's just that men out number women on here and it certainly is a woman's game . I don't think men are any more unrealistic than women , quite the opposite .

I think that with all the numbers of men who are looking to meet women it makes it that women can be very selective . Men tend to be more " get it done " and women tend to less so . I have talked to women and a couple times they actually told me that they only meet the hottest guys , they said it was because they can , and I believe they really can . These women were not hot they were just average looking . Guys tend to be more outgoing to meet women so they are less selective and they will give it a shot .

I don't think you are on the same site if you think average guys are convinced they are entitled to a babe . I think a lot of guys would be happy with just a good date with a decent gal .
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 141
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 11:04:37 AM
OP, you should be ashamed of yourself for being so retarded.

They want YOU beyond anything else and without equivocation. They will try to hide that fact from you as much as they can but you know better. If you don't know better then none of the buttsmooching that you propose to do amounts to anything.
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 143
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 5:18:25 PM
The most important thing to help a relationship last is a solid foundation. All the extras are nice, but build a house without a foundation and while it may look nice from the outside, how well does it stand up in a storm?
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 144
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 5:22:07 PM
c'mon you guys...

only losers keep on whinging about their loss.
just because you've either been dumped, let down, missed out, used for sex and whatever else or didn't measure up to a womans expectations...oh, except for the guy with the huge d*ck who advertises his no reason to vent your dislike and negative views of women in general on here.

if you're a frustrated, jaded and depressed man who continually misses out with women?
maybe you should change your preferences,
or your lifestyle....
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 145
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 5:57:28 PM
if you're a frustrated, jaded and depressed man who continually misses out with women?
maybe you should change your preferences,
or your lifestyle....

.... but, MOST of all, don't forget that no matter what happens in a relationship, what broke down, what didn't go right, whatever you wanted or thought you should or could have done....

... it's YOUR fault it she kicked your ass to the curb.

Everyone knows women are the only ones who know anything about relationships and how to make them work.

... so there, you clueless fvcking slacker-dudes...

(p.s. welcome back, cedar... )

Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 147
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 7:41:06 PM

I would like to know what men really want in a woman and I am sure the list is not nearly as long.

Very astute.....

... the list goes like this:

1. Fvck me
2. Feed me

There's no real order for the list, though mixing it up occasionally is cool...

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