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 AUTHOR
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 148
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male PartnerPage 5 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
They want that; but most dont know what to do with it when they find it.

Most will abuse him, and take him for granted.

que cerra cerra.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 150
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 8:25:47 PM

I would like to know what men really want in a woman and I am sure the list is not nearly as long.


I can only speak for me however I would really like just one to really have my back.

To prove that power and money is not the number one things on her list.

Just to be frank I have yet to meet one that is willing to do the same amount of work on a relationship as I am.

While it shouldn't be a full time job every relationship has to have dedication from both on a equal level or it is doomed.

Until the time I feel that I find a lady that is willing to give the same amount of effort I am then I will just be happy with myself and my life.

So if I had to sum it up in one word it would be dedication.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 151
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 8:57:17 PM
@mjyawn67: the no nonsense man here agrees with you. Most of my relationships have not been balanced. You can get easily frustrated and feel resentful when it's not mutual.
 professorjjd
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 153
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 9:51:55 PM
Haha, what women DON'T want? POOR MEN! Although its funny, because I have been through soo many bad neighborhoods in the heart of big cities, and there are PLENTY of truly poor guys there, with no jobs, and yet they seem to have NO trouble getting ladies in the same financial distress as them! Its amazing how many of these "poor" guys are able to have MULTIPLE women fathering their illegitimate babies, so maybe what they lack in money they make up for in charm? One things for sure, I have neither money, looks, nor appropriate charm to get anyone! So whatever women seem to want, you can take it to the bank its NOT me!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 154
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/9/2011 10:57:49 PM
@cin__dy: Very nice perspective from the flip side. Would be interesting to see which list is longer/shorter. As Mr. Spock would say, "fascinating." P.S. : Did somebody say men get used for sex? Usually, that complaint comes from women in general. Men generally complain about being used for money. Just my observation.
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 155
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/10/2011 2:19:07 AM
c'mon guys doesn’t anyone else find this post funny. It made me laugh. But I would have to agree with her. Some of you guys have to suck it up and move on.

What is funny about undisguised hubris and gloating over someone else's problems.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 156
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/10/2011 2:25:44 AM
If I ever run into a guy like Mr.Blue eyes.....I'm going to beat the sh*t out of him. ....................
 Theophannia
Joined: 5/7/2010
Msg: 158
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/10/2011 10:55:05 AM
All marriages have problems, including mine. Shane's social security is barely enough to cover our bills. So no it's not money. If anything I am going to end up being the "bread winner" of the family. As far as the pic goes honestly lol I looked terrible at our wedding (it was a pretty rush deal). We made plans to do the small jop then save for a grand wedding later on in life, when we can afford it. We decided that if we were going to do the whole big party, we would do it right. As far as WHY he is on SS, he had a stroke, he is 35. I don't have daddy issues, just wasn't looking to the 25 year old males as in my experience their priorities have not been on a mature lifestyle. NOT saying that all of my generation of males are like this, just my experience.

There was better romance before we got married, I do admit that. I married Shane because of love. Not looks or money or the "what he has" aspect.
 Theophannia
Joined: 5/7/2010
Msg: 159
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/10/2011 11:22:11 AM
Also yes the book sharing was designed to help with communication, due to the fact that relationships fail when this breaks down.

As far as the woman bashing thing goes, I don't care what any male on here says, if you come to a dating site ALREADY having it in your head that any woman you meet is going to screw you over and they are money hungry manipulative man eating worthless ****es who you should blame for every failed relationship and hurt you have, only good for blow jobs and to be kicked to the curb the second she is no longer your unpaid whore and personal slave, well, THAT is why you are on this site.

If there is ONE woman on this site who would not shut a man down immediately the minute she found out this was his attitude, I would like to know about it. Cause honestly I would be shocked.
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 160
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/10/2011 11:53:55 AM
If there is ONE woman on this site who would not shut a man down immediately the minute she found out this was his attitude, I would like to know about it. Cause honestly I would be shocked]

20,000 volts coming your way.

Misogynists don't sleep alone. Even with the profile I have up, I still have women emailing me. Paul Bernardo, Marc Lepine and Scot Peterson get more love letters in a day than they could read in a lifetime.

The guys who are complaining of getting nowhere with women on this site are all gentlemanly, respectful and eager to please. The real woman haters have more traffic than they can handle. You are very much mistaken.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 162
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/10/2011 12:57:13 PM

My previous profile on another site I talked about how women weren't as smart as men/most of the women here are fat and disgusting/I don't date chicks unless they're smoking hot and can suck a good ____ sort of stuff as well as pics of me on a motorcycle I owned at the time, shooting guns, drinking at the bar, pic of me with strippers etc and I got a fair amount of interest. Far more than I do with an honest profile.

Now you'd think only the skanky chicks with their tits in the picture would email a guy like that but most of the emails were the "I want a nice guy" types and from all different age ranges.

I didn't get a relationship out of it but I did go on a lot of dates some of which ended with sex. I guess this is what they mean by "nice guys finish last".


I have a theory on this it is the female genders need to "FIX" the male fender that draws them to these kinds of men.

I have seen it over and over women claiming they want a "good man" while not giving one a chance yet will spend years trying to "FIX" a "bad boy."

Another good reason to serial date.

Thing is telling about ones experiences is not bashing women it is just telling what happened.

I personally know a guy that his wife drowned their 4 children......he had nothing to do with it yet the feminist "news shows" tried to make like he was as culpable as she was.

Not every relationship is killed equally by both some are killed by just one in the relationship.

The trend over the last 40 years has been men not marrying as much as they use to. It would behoove the ones fussing about this to examine why.

Anytime a whole gender moves in a certain direction for four decades there is a reason for that.

Which is directly affecting the topic at hand. Seems to me that it really doesn't matter what the "The Measure of a Male Partner" is according to women......seems to me that men are deciding not to be measured.

Funny how many here say to look within oneself for the problem yet the same are unwilling to do the same when 40 years of research indicates the need for self examination.

Personally I am whom I am not changing or even attempt to appease someone just to have a "relationship" with them.

It is just to easy to date and live the life I really want to.

So why worry about being measured?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 163
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/10/2011 6:36:52 PM
@mjyawn67: Some excellent observations here. More men are saying no to marriage because of the changes in divorce laws. No fault divorce, alimony, and losing half of everything would make me very reluctant to marry again. Divorce rate of approximately 50% for first marriages and higher rates for subsequent marriages tell me there is no benefit to getting married. The feminist movement had it's upside, but it's now experiencing some downside as things gone past the point of equality. Power can corrupt even when intentions are good. Let's just work together and get back to basics. The basics always worked, but it has to be a two way street nowadays.
 complete_moron
Joined: 6/4/2011
Msg: 165
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/10/2011 9:53:35 PM
These lists and "qualfications" usually makes me feel like, that most people treat relationships as job interviews, and instead of getting to know someone you feel attracted to as a subject who needs to meet requirements.

"What women want", there is no such a thing. Perhaps geographically and cultural background plays a bigger role, but I would suspect that most people (99%) here on PoF are on the North American continent, so things have to be looked in that perspective.

"What women want" ~ will remain a mystery in USA, but since everything revolves around finance and money and shopping, if you have money then you are at 75% success of meeting the requirements~ regardless of what list women will come up with.

Level of education plays a big role too ~ You can't be interesting if you aren't intelligent enough to come up with interesting things to say, or think about and to have ideas and the fantasy revolving around what to do later in life.

Of course, the financially stable, well educated and good hearted people are pretty much on the 90% approval level , but I think we got a huge shortage of those kind of guys.

On the other hand, the qualifying requirements cannot be reversed or mixed, so you could be a very smart person with a really good school background and have the best ideas and fantasies ....but you if you are struggling to live from paycheck to paycheck, your level of success to meet someone who will keep you goes down to - I'd say- 50% or maybe less. It really depends on how much that significant person is willing to sacrifice and look beyond the material world.
And for that, we have a shortage of women in that category.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 167
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/11/2011 7:00:52 AM
@athenashelmet: I think most of us here are missing that, no matter what time of the day it is. I am not satisfied with myself at this point cause I've had a lot of disastrous relationships. Working on me to change my results.
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 170
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/11/2011 5:18:15 PM


If you're a frustrated, jaded and depressed man who continually misses out with women?
maybe you should change your preferences,
or your lifestyle....




.... but, MOST of all, don't forget that no matter what happens in a relationship, what broke down, what didn't go right, whatever you wanted or thought you should or could have done....

... it's YOUR fault it she kicked your ass to the curb.

Everyone knows women are the only ones who know anything about relationships and how to make them work.

... so there, you clueless fvcking slacker-dudes...

(p.s. welcome back, cedar... )



Hey Capitano
Why do find myself humming the theme to " welcome back kotter " ???

LOL

Yes , that's it . I am a big loser who is depressed because I can not find a woman .
That must be the reason that I am not 100% enamored with every woman in every way possible !

 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 172
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/11/2011 8:29:30 PM
I'm not sure most women *know* just what they want in a man, or that the mix of characteristics any one woman says she wants doesn't change from time to time. I'm not saying women don't believe they know, or aren't being sincere. But what they say they want sometimes doesn't seem to match up very well with what they do. I suppose that's probably true of a lot of men, too--human nature, maybe.
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 173
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/12/2011 3:25:44 PM
I'm not sure most women *know* just what they want in a man, or that the mix of characteristics any one woman says she wants doesn't change from time to time. I'm not saying women don't believe they know, or aren't being sincere. But what they say they want sometimes doesn't seem to match up very well with what they do. I suppose that's probably true of a lot of men, too--human nature, maybe.

Women are drawn to exceptional men. Women clamor for all of these idealized traits because they mistakenly have come to the conclusion that decent men are identified by these traits. Decent men do in fact possess them but as a reaction to a superior woman and not as their normal stock in trade.

Pusxxy worshipers and assorted ass clowns listen to the clamor and decide to mimic these superficial qualities in the hopes of fooling a woman into thinking that he may be one of the good ones. FAIL. Even if a limp wristed wimp jumps ALL these hoops, he is still only notable for his mediocrity and is rightly rejected by the bulk of women.

It would be easy to say that women should start requesting the qualities that they are really interested in. To no avail. Women don't understand what they are. They only know the finished collection when seen. Even if they did understand them the Poinddexters out there couldn't make any use of it. They don't understand it any better than a woman. What is more decent men don't need them to. One of the qualities of a decent man is he never does anything in reaction to what a woman thinks. His only motivation is what is fitting not what is popular.

A decent man doesn't do what a woman wants rather what he sees as best for her. This knowledge is understood by all women but is buried deep under the morass of modern culture. Feminists and manginas scream with pain but ALL decent men, without exception, are at the core, very paternalistic. The goodies that women ask for are only a microscopic part of what these decent men are in total. Lesser men emphasize that because that is the most their infinitesimal characters can hope to muster.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 174
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/12/2011 6:17:17 PM
I agree Magicallaround 100%.In my life experences and seeing what most women really do is that these women would not know what a good guy is.They seem to like TALKERS and ACTORS .Or very arrogant types/loud mouths(Been everywhere/done everything/seen everybody/got everything)Most women listen to these losers and take it in as gospel.I have seen it so many times.Also what women want and what women say are totally 2 different things.Look at her history.If she has been with every(Jail bird/drunk/drug addict/lazy pos)Then i suggest to any good guy.RUN!!!!!!Do not pass go..KEEP RUNNING!!!!!!!These women are dangerous!!!!They will use you.They will tell you they want a good man.But they are lieing.KEEP RUNNING!!!!Personally i do not run!!!!!!I am so far away from that intersection.I see these DRAMA QUEENS a mile away.And they can keep on walking to the next loser they meet at the local Parole office.I got better things to do with my time to spend on women that want drama in their miserable lives.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 175
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/12/2011 6:34:58 PM

I agree Magicallaround 100%.In my life experences and seeing what most women really do is that these women would not know what a good guy is.They seem to like TALKERS and ACTORS .Or very arrogant types/loud mouths(Been everywhere/done everything/seen everybody/got everything)Most women listen to these losers and take it in as gospel.I have seen it so many times.Also what women want and what women say are totally 2 different things.Look at her history.If she has been with every(Jail bird/drunk/drug addict/lazy pos)Then i suggest to any good guy.RUN!!!!!!Do not pass go..KEEP RUNNING!!!!!!!These women are dangerous!!!!They will use you.They will tell you they want a good man.But they are lieing.KEEP RUNNING!!!!Personally i do not run!!!!!!I am so far away from that intersection.I see these DRAMA QUEENS a mile away.And they can keep on walking to the next loser they meet at the local Parole office.I got better things to do with my time to spend on women that want drama in their miserable lives.


I have to agree with you both.

I date sane ladies the first sign of snakes in their heads and I am out of there. Life is just to short.

I turned this dating thing around 180 about 3 years ago. After dating a lady that is Bi-Polar. The way I see it instead of going to their audition why not make sure they meet my standards/needs.

I changed my profile to reflect my desire to go slow and made no bones about not wanting to "JUMP" into a relationship.

Still have some that try that route but I shut them down quickly.

Point is I know what I am about and if a lady wants to be with me she is going to have to have comparable substance, if not I just move on.

The thing I noticed right away was when you turn this on its head you can Identify the ones you really don't want anyway....saves a lot of time and effort.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 176
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What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/12/2011 7:06:41 PM
The non nonsense man agrees with magicallaroundme, too. Real men unite!
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 178
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/13/2011 11:08:17 AM
If a woman made this statement (Msg.237):


Point is I know what I am about and if a man wants to be with me he is going to have to have comparable substance, if not I just move on.


she’d be accused of having a Princess Complex (among other things).

You fake macho guys kill me.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 179
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/13/2011 11:29:14 AM

If a woman made this statement (Msg.237):
***********************************************************************
Point is I know what I am about and if a man wants to be with me he is going to have to have comparable substance, if not I just move on.
**************************************************************************
she’d be accused of having a Princess Complex (among other things).

You fake macho guys kill me.


And you know I am fake and macho how?........You don't know me at all.....



As far as woman stating that this whole thread is about how a man should measure up to the women's lists of demands!

Not expecting some demands from the man's side would be ludicrous.

This furthers shows the double standards some hold and think is okay.

Which is exactly why men should adopt some of the ladies ways of thinking on dating.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 180
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/13/2011 12:05:20 PM

And you know I am fake and macho how?........You don't know me at all.....


Why do you think I was referring to you?
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 181
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/13/2011 12:13:19 PM

Why do you think I was referring to you?


Cause I am the guy that made that statement about myself.

Why is it okay for women to have a "list" but men are macho and fake if they have standards?



I absolutely agree with Mjyawn on this statement. I think it would be ridiculous, as a woman, to have a list in my head of characteristics/ expectations of the man in my life....and not bring the same characteristics/expectations to the table myself.
If he wasn't looking for character/depth in his lady...then I wouldn't want to be with him anyways as he would be lacking integrity and mental strength(round and round that list thing goes). I would be hoping that he would be looking for more than a pretty face and an empty head.

I was looking for a quality man. But to do so...I had to be a quality woman. This is the only thing that makes sense to me.


CarpeOmnia.....Thank you that is all I have ever said or expected from a lady. I expect back the same effort, commitment and love I expend.

If that is not happening I am moving on. That includes all areas of the relationship.
If someone wants to be "kept" they need to move along as I am not into that.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 182
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/13/2011 12:29:07 PM

A decent man doesn't do what a woman wants rather what he sees as best for her.

And an exceptional man lets the woman know that this is what he's doing. Just as an exceptional woman does, when she does what she sees as best for a man, whether or not that is what HE wants.

I think in all good COUPLES there is a mindset of giving the partner opportunity and room to grow as a person. So in a sense each "parents" the other.

As far as actually listing specific qualities, IMO, it's not so much a collection of specific qualities as it is a collection of qualities that are in harmony and present an overall well-balanced and functional picture.
This picture will be mostly about individual character, personality,and worldview...but given the changing face of marriage, relationships and family, the lessening of social pressure on both genders to marry,and the greater opportunities to date outside one's immediate neighborhood and community,to some extent mutual physical appeal is going to count more than it maybe used to.

As for men and women who continually seem to be pairing up with inept,incompetent or empty-boast partners,or those whose critical evaluation skills get derailed by either too MUCH physical chemistry- or desperate loneliness-the only ones that can FIX that, are they themselves.
Ranting, railing ,venting,posturing have an unfortunate tendency to strongly suggest a "sour grapes/sore loser" scenario. What happens when a sg/sl man and a sg/sl woman pair up, is misery for everyone around them...truly a match made in Hell, so to speak.
Cindy O
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