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 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 181
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male PartnerPage 7 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

Why do you think I was referring to you?


Cause I am the guy that made that statement about myself.

Why is it okay for women to have a "list" but men are macho and fake if they have standards?



I absolutely agree with Mjyawn on this statement. I think it would be ridiculous, as a woman, to have a list in my head of characteristics/ expectations of the man in my life....and not bring the same characteristics/expectations to the table myself.
If he wasn't looking for character/depth in his lady...then I wouldn't want to be with him anyways as he would be lacking integrity and mental strength(round and round that list thing goes). I would be hoping that he would be looking for more than a pretty face and an empty head.

I was looking for a quality man. But to do so...I had to be a quality woman. This is the only thing that makes sense to me.


CarpeOmnia.....Thank you that is all I have ever said or expected from a lady. I expect back the same effort, commitment and love I expend.

If that is not happening I am moving on. That includes all areas of the relationship.
If someone wants to be "kept" they need to move along as I am not into that.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 182
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/13/2011 12:29:07 PM

A decent man doesn't do what a woman wants rather what he sees as best for her.

And an exceptional man lets the woman know that this is what he's doing. Just as an exceptional woman does, when she does what she sees as best for a man, whether or not that is what HE wants.

I think in all good COUPLES there is a mindset of giving the partner opportunity and room to grow as a person. So in a sense each "parents" the other.

As far as actually listing specific qualities, IMO, it's not so much a collection of specific qualities as it is a collection of qualities that are in harmony and present an overall well-balanced and functional picture.
This picture will be mostly about individual character, personality,and worldview...but given the changing face of marriage, relationships and family, the lessening of social pressure on both genders to marry,and the greater opportunities to date outside one's immediate neighborhood and community,to some extent mutual physical appeal is going to count more than it maybe used to.

As for men and women who continually seem to be pairing up with inept,incompetent or empty-boast partners,or those whose critical evaluation skills get derailed by either too MUCH physical chemistry- or desperate loneliness-the only ones that can FIX that, are they themselves.
Ranting, railing ,venting,posturing have an unfortunate tendency to strongly suggest a "sour grapes/sore loser" scenario. What happens when a sg/sl man and a sg/sl woman pair up, is misery for everyone around them...truly a match made in Hell, so to speak.
Cindy O
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 183
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/13/2011 12:41:53 PM
I want someone like me that has boy parts.
A generally happy person that has a glass they like
filling, someone nice to people (including parents,
children and waitstaff) someone with respect for that
which deserves it (cemetaries, military personnel,
public property, private property) someone who knows
what hygiene is and knows how to use it, someone who
who likes pets (or doesn't and also doesn't feel the need
to kick them) someone who accepts people the way they
are with all their limitations, codicils, egos, frailities etc.,
someone who remembers manners and social skills,
someone who knows the difference between right and
wrong...etc ad nauseum.

75% of the population probably falls into this catagory.
Unfortunately, these people are NEVER attracted to me.
I seem to be attractive to the other 25%. I've yet to figure
out why, but I do realize it's me.



 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 184
view profile
History
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/13/2011 4:53:30 PM
@mjyawn67: Great no nonsense philosophy as always! @carpeomnia: I too believe in bringing the same to the table as I ask for. @ladyc4: Excellent analysis. Points well made. @browneyesboo: I am exactly in the same boat. I attract toxic partners. I finally came to the realization I have to change me to change my results. The first step to change is acknowledging the need to change.
 4x4guy95348
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 185
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/13/2011 5:48:43 PM
That is indeed a good list of attributes a woman should be looking for in a man.

The sad part is, there are some women that are ready to shoot us down the first chance they get. I believe that women have a preferred way of doing things....and it takes a bit for a man to get aclimatized to the requirements.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 186
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/13/2011 6:02:33 PM
i would add that a man has to be well educated and articulate. this is of paramount importance to me. as you stated, this comes down to values, and for me, i come from a family of well educated, well read, and articulate people. i find this familiar, so it clicks with me.

as far as romance goes, well, a man has to be sexy and passionate. that's also of paramount importance. a man that asks if he can kiss you sort of ruins the moment. romance and love are supposed to be about passion and not something that one can intellectualize or analyze. it has to be felt. if a man isn't on this level then it's not that romantic even if you have the sunset, a starry sky, and flowers. i know women tend to over analyze relationships, and imo, this is sooooo tedious and boring.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 187
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/13/2011 6:36:38 PM

Msg. 219: Misogynists don't sleep alone. Even with the profile I have up, I still have women emailing me. Paul Bernardo, Marc Lepine and Scot Peterson get more love letters in a day than they could read in a lifetime.


Are you kidding me?! You’re comparing yourself to serial killers, rapists and baby murderers? Be sure to include that info and “requesting prison groupies” on your profile.

That’s truly sick.
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 188
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/13/2011 10:49:45 PM
healing to do before moving onto a new relationship.
what purpose could such a relationship serve?
If you do not; you are bound to bring bitterness, suspicion, mistrust and maybe just a plain hate towards the opposite sex if you do not.
So? They have earned little else. Your own story is a case in point. Sadly, it is not isolated. It is the norm.
However, my core values have never changed even with all the crap that was thrown my way.
THAT is the harshest travesty and most durable humiliation that you could possibly suffer.
I am still one hell of a nice guy. I am just quicker on the draw now to call people on their BS when I see it and also to tell them to shit or get off the pot and stop complaining when I see them doing that too.
Sorry, I can't accept that. The whole thing looks to me like you are trying to curry favor with your assailants by swearing you are a docile but useful lackey. Undoubtedly, you don't see it as such. I wouldn't accuse you of dishonesty if you did protest. What I will offer is if that were my first impression then others could have the same take.
I would treat any lady I was to go out with the same manners I always had before and you will continue to be insulted, assaulted and abused for it. What your ex did was mild compared to some. It is stacked against you. You do not have a fighting chance. Next will be worse. As bad as you got it, next will be worse. You may think dating has nothing to do with the horror you lived through. Wrong. They will see how much more degradation and exploitation you can stand.

Take the red pill.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 189
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 9/15/2011 5:01:59 PM
magicallaroundme~

"and you will continue to be insulted, assaulted and abused for it. What your ex did was mild compared to some. It is stacked against you. You do not have a fighting chance. Next will be worse. As bad as you got it, next will be worse. You may think dating has nothing to do with the horror you lived through. Wrong. They will see how much more degradation and exploitation you can stand. Take the red pill."

it sounds to me like some woman really wrecked your heart. all i can say is that i am very sorry on behalf of my gender. if it is any consolation ( i doubt it is), i could tell you a horror story or two that would probably leave you shocked at the depths of human cruelty. that being said, although i've definitely been really hurt i have never wallowed in the past, nor let it make me cynical.

above all, what do we all need? someone that inspires us, makes us feel passionate, and rekindles our belief that yes, true love IS possible. and it is. i've had it and i see it all around me.
 3-TIMES-A-LADY
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 190
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 11/26/2011 3:22:59 AM
What women really want is for MEN to STOP LYING. Stop lying to the woman in your life and to yourself. Eventually, everything you do, will catch up to you. You posted all this crap....but have you really checked yourself? Where are you really from ? NC or TEXAS? LADIES....LOOK OUT......The MrBlueEyes2u that my friend met through here in August of 2010...lives in NC. When she deleted her original profile, it asked if she met someone through POF and she stated "yes" and gave his profile name.......obviously, POF never contacted him to verify the information and still allows him to have a profile here, over a year and a half later. He is still here, trying to drum up conversations with other women and get them to meet him behind his girlfriend's back & he has the nerve to ask WHAT WOMEN WANT? In my opinion, MrBlueEyes, you show no RESPECT for the woman you have or the RELATIONSHIP you have with her. In some aspects, you're worse than what she came out of. She's been living in your house, sleeping in your bed, cooking and cleaning for you and having sex with you, whenever YOU want to, since April, and I know for a fact, you've been a couple since August of 2010. Why do you continue to keep your profile here? It hurts her tremendously. She says she's asked you to delete it, but you refuse, because you feel like she's trying to control you. Really, sounds like you're trying to control her. She tries her best not to let it bother her, but I know it does, because she cries to me so often about it. She loves you in spite of your faults and neglect, because you're good to her and her daughter, and after coming through a 6 year mentally & physically abusive relationship, you're a blessing & a rock to her. She's a damn good woman. She's got beauty, brains and the courage to overlook your faults and believe that you truly love her........despite the occasional need to feed your ego and talk crap to other women. Honestly, MrBlueEyes you should stop and think about the amazing woman you met here and care deeply enough about her to delete your damn profile and treat her with respect, love and admiration before you lose her. She does have other options and people who care enough about her to take her in. Knowing the woman she is, that I've know far longer than you.....she'll leave you like a whisper in the wind & you won't even know what hit you......WAKE UP!
 3-TIMES-A-LADY
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 191
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 11/26/2011 10:44:33 PM
I agree with you.... After reading Steve Harvey's book..."Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man" I gained a better understanding of why some men are the way they are. One thing that sticks in my mind, is "for every man that wants to cheat, there's a woman out there willing to cheat with them." This holds true for women too. Sometimes, they are no better....but I believe it 's because we've been lied to, cheated on, manipulated, controlled, battered, beaten and bruised, until we learned to gain the upper hand and beat them at their game. The saddest thing is......the truly GOOD guys/girls are the ones that get the wrath of the one before them. It's just not fair.
 Magina314
Joined: 1/9/2011
Msg: 192
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 11/26/2011 10:47:46 PM
Romantic: (watching thunderstorms together, painting your toe nails while you’re tied up in bed, brush your hair with his fingers while you watch a movie together on a quiet night, making love to you under the stars of the sweet dessert ski)

ROAR. Haha, I totally tried this on one of my more recent ex'es, suffice to say she wasn't interested in climbing on top of the garage....from the porch....to sit under the brightly lit night sky, on wouldn't you have it, a mid-summer nights day.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 194
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 11/27/2011 7:25:12 AM
^^^So, three profile changes in the last month and it's the same tired old barn with the same tired old message "any man who is here is a loser, cruiser or user about 99 percent of the time". Why so bitter? With three profiles set up in a month, just who is the loser, cruiser and user?

There are wonderful men and women on this "free" dating site. There are wonderful men and women on paid dating sites. We need to decide what it is that we want, really decide and then try to find the "perfect for us". If we have to kiss a few frogs along the way, think of it as a learning experience and move on. Ane we all want something a little different from the next person so stating what we find as the perfect man or perfect women or what do men/women want is not all that helpful - we all want something a little different than the next person.

Figure yourself out first and then find someone that fits your needs.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 195
view profile
History
Seriously?
Posted: 11/27/2011 8:17:50 AM
I cant believe this drivel didnt get voted off for self advertising/attention seeking and generally being self indulgent delusional BS tbh

Sounds more like a bit of an overly feminised wuss tbh from the description and I'd bet good money his exes would have written a VERY different list of traits to that one
 SeaCatcher
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 196
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 11/28/2011 6:22:48 PM
You left out intelligence (emotional and cognitive) and a similar cultural and educational background and also a sense of humour. These things matter most to me. Oh, and good health.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 197
Seriously?
Posted: 11/28/2011 6:39:01 PM
The OP is full of it.

What women want?

Let's be real... Sorry ladies but you are not the "masters of love" in fact you are the exact opposite. You all make the worst possible choices in men and relationships and 99% of the time have no idea what you want. Out side of the head games and lies... you're busy playing the "kid in the candy store" roll using men for free dates while deciding which head of lettuce you really want.

So what do women want?

1. You have those who want to "fix" their man. The choose a guy who has drama and issues in hopes they'll be the "one" who makes him settle down and fix him. Never works of course - he'll just use her for sex and then she'll be at the water cooler the next day crying about why she can't find "a nice guy who treats her right..."

2. The divorcee who spent the last 10 years married to the wrong guy (because of her "excellent" choice in men /note the sarcasm) who now with three snot nosed kids and a more emotional baggage than a Delta flight - thinks she is the hottest thing sinse Claire Danes - and THIS time by God she is going to get it right... so if YOU (never mind all her baggage and mental issues) don't walk on water - she'll boot you! You see never mind the fact she is barely getting by with child support from an ex that wont go away... and YOU are the stable one with a good job - you are supposed to kiss her ass... lol... yeah right.

3. The cute one who has more guys after her than you are years old times 10. Daddy told her when she was 6 that she was a princess.... and after watching hours upon hours of Kim Kardashian - she is actually dumb enough to really think she IS a princesses and deserves the world.... even though 90% of the guys after her just want to get laid - YOU have no real chance - becuase she is waiting for Brad Pitt to come sweep her off her feet - any time now - cause she "deserves" it!

Bottom line dude, women today are more ef'ed in the head then ever before... just say you have to and get laid - call it a day. There are some good ones out there - but by now they're already married off.... but you might get lucky. Until then - don't put up with their BS.
 popcultureloverguy88
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 198
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 12/9/2011 6:23:35 PM
I know that ranting, whining, complaining will never solve anything, just wanted to speak the painful truth, but what pisses me off is that we guys have to work on ourselves more than girls do in order to make ourselves boyfriend material than a girl does in order to make herself girlfriend material. Why is it always a guy's social skills, conversation skills, ability to talk to people and socialize with them, attitude, mentality, way of thinking, he has to walk right, stand right, sit right, breathe right, think right, the right body-language. The guy has to have ambition and drive, have a passion for something, he has to be a challenge, he has to have confidence, after all, confidence is a mental, attitude thing. We guys have to be a Leader, have Leadership qualities, traits, have a passion for something or things, we have to say the right things, it comes down to the words and sentences that come out of our mouth, we have to be high-status, high social-status, being involved with something or just having a life, be a productive person, see ourselves or just be an object of power, strenth(mostly mental strength, head-strong), we have to be extremely comfortable and content with ourselves, be a fun or interesting person with a lot of hobbies and the list goes on and on, he has to be very outgoing, have a fun, exciting life, etc. What I don't like is that the standards, expectations, requirements that girls want in guys end up helping the guy, ending making the guy successful in all other areas of life, they say that success in life and success with girls are the same thing, or just go hand in hand. The reason why this pisses me off is because when it comes to social skills, flirting skills, conversation skills, status, attitude, mentality, way of thinking, body-language, passion, etc., you are much more prone to making mistakes in making yourself unattractive to the oppossite gender, you could say or talk about something stupid at the wrong time or just
say something that bores, turns the person off instantly, basically what i'm saying is that the list of things that turn women off is insanely, crazily longer than the list of things that turn men off. Basically it is okay for girls, women to be shy, quiet, introverted, but not okay for guys
 popcultureloverguy88
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 199
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 12/9/2011 9:37:30 PM
what shit? are you saying that what i said that girls want in a potential boyfriend are negative qualities?
 Womac911
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 200
view profile
History
Seriously?
Posted: 12/9/2011 10:16:52 PM

The OP is full of it.

What women want?...........hours of Kim Kardashian.......think she IS a princesses........becuase she is waiting for Brad Pitt to come sweep her off her feet


I cannot stand the real Housewives or, Karshashians because of the princess mentality women seem to have these days. Not that they aren't princesses, but because every women seems to think that that lifestyle is the NORM.

Don't forget, that Brad Pitt cheated on whoever with howevermany.. Yeah, go have Brad sweep you off your feet. See if you want a Brad Pitt.

What I see that women want?
They want "nice" guy values, bad-boy excitement and manliniess, and Kardashian/Real Housewives lifestyle.
Really, what they want is their cake and eat it too.

Pick one and stick with it.
 sensualseekerns
Joined: 6/1/2010
Msg: 201
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 12/9/2011 10:33:36 PM
What women really want is for MEN to STOP LYING. Stop lying to the woman in your life and to yourself.


Physician heal thyself.

Some people simply cannot handle the truth. Lying to a woman to keep the peace is stupid, but sometimes necessary. In the end though there is no way to please women who insist on "honesty", when they do not practice it themselves. These days the term "lying" seems to have been twisted to include any of a multitude of behaviors that women simply do not like. "No liars" is a catch all phrase meant to imply men should not do what a woman does not like.

Now if members of the male gender applied these rules to the women in their life, what do you think the resulting explosions would be like? I for one am sick of meeting women that lie, lie, and lie some more with total impunity. They justify their own use of the practice, but are the first to condemn men who might withhold information for reasons of privacy as "liars".

It is not a gender matter, but a programmed social reflex that control freaks resort to at the drop of a hat. It just so happens to be a mindset more common to women then to men, because it is considered socially acceptable for women to behave in this way. Namely at its core this is nothing more then accusing others of "lying" in an attempt to induce guilt or shame as a method of control.

Are you ladies really surprised that men reject such a practice openly and directly?


say something that bores, turns the person off instantly, basically what i'm saying is that the list of things that turn women off is insanely, crazily longer than the list of things that turn men off. Basically it is okay for girls, women to be shy, quiet, introverted, but not okay for guys


It has been posted in these forums before that women agree they first look for flaws or excuses to reject a male companion. The thing women will not admit to readily is that this kind of "evaluation" based behavior is classical elitist practice.

An elitist is nothing to brag about emulating. Most elitist type of thinkers are scum of the earth, with no real empathy or respect for anything -- unless of course there is something beneficial in it for them. Such people are users. They steal what they want with no conscience, and justify their immoral actions based on them being "deserving" and privileged, thus eliminating any rational objection to such evil thoughts.

Is this really something women can say is a positive behavior? Whether this happens with men or women it is wrong. It is also anti-social. So why is this such a common way that the "successful career woman" is portrayed in female literature? Why is being a b-y-t-ch allowed to stand as a positive accomplishment for women??

Something is wrong with a culture that clings to this ideal in practice, while rejecting it in words. Two sided thinking always leads to failed social harmony. How long can the inequality of practices between western male and female culture continue without there being a backlash?

Women need to reread the OP's list more carefully. If a man were asking for all of these service based behaviors of women in men's own version of "What men want", the women on these forums would be all over them -- accusing them of being women haters or abusers.

A belief in one sided social structures just doesn't work. Not in the women repressed Arab and Indu worlds, and not in the reverse for men in western societies. There is not now and never has been any legitimate justification for selfishness based on gender.



 popcultureloverguy88
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 202
Seriously?
Posted: 12/9/2011 11:56:00 PM
yeah pisses me off is that a guy can look like Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, but if they are socially-awkward, introverted, are quiet, have bad-social skills, are bratty, boring, immature, have no confidence, have low self-esteem, have no life, but girls will reject them instantly.
 Womac911
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 203
view profile
History
Seriously?
Posted: 12/10/2011 12:46:37 AM

yeah pisses me off is that a guy can look like Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, but if they are socially-awkward, introverted, are quiet, have bad-social skills, are bratty, boring, immature, have no confidence, have low self-esteem, have no life, but girls will reject them instantly



You forgot to mention "broke"

But on the other hand, it goes the other way as well. A guy could be none of those, but unless he looks like all of them, the same still applies.
 professorjjd
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 204
Seriously?
Posted: 12/20/2011 3:30:39 PM
Haha, broke 4 life, and women DEFINITELY aren't interested in broke men! I can attest to that!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 206
view profile
History
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 12/21/2011 5:13:46 PM
^^^^^ Meow...said the kitty!
 hotmerlot
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 207
What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner
Posted: 12/21/2011 5:26:49 PM
I just want a guy with a half ton truck.
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