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 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 28
Dating single women with children.Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

You are trying to make a point of saying you are actually mean and selfish.
And someone having kids still makes them real and unperfect. They just have more priorities and responsibilities when they have kids. Which will make you second.
Sometimes its better for guys like you never to have kids.


What a logical and empathic person you are! /sarcasm

Every guy wants to date a girl where he will automatically not be first in her life and not have her full attention. /sarcasm.

Obviously a man who does not want to date a woman with children will be a bad father too! /sarcasm
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 29
Dating single women with children.
Posted: 5/20/2009 10:34:15 AM
For the most part, women with children are no different than women without them. Some are worth the effort, some are not. Having kids doesn't make you more responsible than someone without them. It makes you responsible for someone other than yourself. Not everyone handles that responsibility the same way... Or even well. A woman with kids cannot fake her personality and maturity. It's reflected in her children's behavior, and the way she treats them. There are advantages to dating single mothers.
 trcaccount
Joined: 5/14/2009
Msg: 30
Dating single women with children.
Posted: 5/20/2009 12:35:52 PM
You're not mean or selfish.

I felt the same way when I was in my 20's and over a period of time things changed. My son didn't come along until I was in my 30's.

Just be clear and honest.
 lancewallach
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 31
Dating single women with children.
Posted: 5/20/2009 12:38:01 PM
Great stuff. Kids are fine if they know how to play sports. A joke.
 CookieLady66
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 32
Dating single women with children.
Posted: 5/20/2009 1:00:00 PM
I don't think you're mean or selfish...just honest. Good for you! I myself don't like to date men with kids (I have 2 sons, 18 & 13) and I don't need or want any more kids!

Good luck!
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 33
Dating single women with children.
Posted: 5/20/2009 2:49:52 PM

I have personally had guy friends tell me that they only date single moms because, "they don't mind kids, and single moms have to try harder" They stated the hottest girls they've all dated were single moms.... because they could date "up" in looks in a girl had a child.


Soldier...I can only speak for myself and the single mothers that I know...I can assure you that your friend is dead wrong...If anything single mothers tend to be far more picky as to who they'll date..We have children that rely on us to make the right decisions, and trust me there is no way on God's earth I will ever introduce a man into my children's life if I knew for a minute that he didn't have ALL the qualities that I want in a man..
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 34
Dating single women with children.
Posted: 5/20/2009 3:05:18 PM

Soldier...I can only speak for myself and the single mothers that I know...I can assure you that your friend is dead wrong...If anything single mothers tend to be far more picky as to who they'll date..We have children that rely on us to make the right decisions, and trust me there is no way on God's earth I will ever introduce a man into my children's life if I knew for a minute that he didn't have ALL the qualities that I want in a man..


That makes a lot of sense Arabian.... but you've demonstrated time and again that you are a lot more intelligent and logical than the average woman. I would not consider your opinion or standards to be the norm.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 35
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Dating single women with children.
Posted: 5/20/2009 4:59:13 PM
OP - there's nothing selfish or being mean if you don't want to date women with kids. I'm preaching to the choir here, but it will reduce the eligibility pool. First and foremost, you've got to be honest with yourself, and then to others. If children't aren't your "want/desire", that's ok. It takes a hell of a lot of courage to stand above the masses, and stick to your guns.
I've never wanted kids and have never had any. I'm happy with my decision. Oooh, in the 1980's when I was married, I was looked at as some freak because I didn't want kids.
Even at the tender young age of 53, it has considerably narrowed my dating pool because a good many men over the age of 45 have kids under the age of 18. Go figure.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 36
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Dating single women with children.
Posted: 5/20/2009 7:56:55 PM
Some people aren't kid people, doesn't make you a bad person but you could also change your mind at some point. Apparently men have a biological clock too, however, if your views do not change, if you will not be happy if children are the mix, it is unselfish to be honest and find someone with whom you are compatible.
 Lovelygirl88
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 37
Dating single women with children.
Posted: 5/20/2009 10:45:45 PM
007 Ok, I wish you will be happily in that group of 50s, 60s with more options.If money = options , it's true. But old ( still alone and frequenting pof) not always equal money (and) options.
I used to think that way too. Until I started to meet this group (my samples are not that many), sadly I learned that these persons pile up other qualities (crankies, spanx, frequenting strip clubs, cheat) that actually limiting their options in finding a loving mate ( not that these guys care, they're to busy brushing their egos). I don't see that having dating scene emensely ( as in collecting hot dates ) as enjoyable.
But I am not a guy, so I really will NEVER know how does it feel to be one.

I know how was it to be single , and I know how it feels to be a parent. Each parent Was once a single person be.

 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 38
Dating single women with children.
Posted: 9/25/2013 6:02:17 AM
It's not a dealbreaker. But I would prefer dating a woman without kids. In my experience, whenever I have went out on dates with a woman with kids, they would often have less free time ( especially if they were a single mom ) to spend with me because of their kids.
 elmuchoburrito
Joined: 8/27/2013
Msg: 39
Dating single women with children.
Posted: 9/26/2013 8:24:09 PM
Children are wholly preventable
Single moms are easily avoidable

Its your life - live it they way you want
(and yes, do a search for has kids / vs no kids / undecided - for the same location and age parameters - watch the numbers plummet - pick a zip code - any zip code at all )
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 40
Dating single women with children.
Posted: 9/28/2013 5:54:11 PM

I’m single, almost 30, and I really don’t see myself as wanting children. I try to make every effort to contact only women who say they either don’t want children or are undecided. Even if I met someone who was absolutely perfect in every other way I’d still say I’m 70/30 against it. I don’t want someone perfect, I want to meet someone real.

My mother was married before she met my dad. She had a daughter and divorced the man because he was an abusive alcoholic and I don’t blame her. So it’s not like I don’t understand certain circumstances.

So why am I mean or selfish because I don’t want to date a woman with children?


If you lived where I live, you wouldn't have the luxury of dating women without children. They are few and far in between. Women here are born pregnant.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 41
Dating single women with children.
Posted: 9/28/2013 8:51:49 PM
geez, all the hatin' on single moms...so OK, you've narrowed down your list of potentials, due to what you want in a woman, and its somehow their fault you have fewer chances now?

I feel for the single moms just b/c I spent five years taking care of elderly parents--I know what its like to be responsible for someone else and have less time for yourself as a result.

Its good to have a clear idea of what you want in a partner--but unless you live in a densely populated area or are willing to travel, you reduce your choices as a result. Consider joining a hobby that those with time on their hands can engage in--it may divert your mind from your reduction in choices, while in the same time expose you to only those people who have more time on their hands...b/c they aren't caretaking for someone else.
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 42
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Dating single women with children.
Posted: 9/28/2013 10:54:38 PM

If you lived where I live, you wouldn't have the luxury of dating women without children. They are few and far in between. Women here are born pregnant.


Ha! I feel your pain. Pretty much the same situation here. Most women in my area get knocked up (with their first child) just out of high school.
 TerrieLynnC70
Joined: 6/22/2013
Msg: 43
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Dating single women with children.
Posted: 9/30/2013 12:55:13 PM

I hate to say it but it is glaringly obvious that they were not responsible in choosing a suitable partner to have children with in the first place - that is how they get to be single mothers unless they are widowed.


^^^Just because a woman is a single mother doesn't make them irresponsible...................nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes..........
 Post_PrepatoryLIFER
Joined: 8/19/2013
Msg: 44
Dating single women with children.
Posted: 10/7/2013 1:49:53 PM
You are not mean or selfish for knowing what you want and why. With this, its not fair or honest to even have a 'taste' and toy with a single Mom so all together, tell them thank you for your interest, flattered but I respectfully decline.

End of it.

If a woman wants to bemoan the fair and honest response- block/delete.
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