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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Judging (accurately) by appearances!      Home login  
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 35
Judging (accurately) by appearances!Page 8 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
this thread is hilarious. either quite a few of you are pathological liars or really dumb.

who do you want to be?
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 36
Judging (accurately) by appearances!
Posted: 12/29/2005 7:09:47 AM're all wet. Appearance tells you absolutely nothing about a person and who they are. If you want to experience your life by stereotyping...well...good luck. That a definite loser!
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 37
Judging (accurately) by appearances!
Posted: 12/29/2005 7:24:21 AM

Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 39
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Judging (accurately) by appearances!
Posted: 11/2/2008 10:05:31 PM
Being very involved in holistic health, exercise and nutrition, I tend to see past the clothes and makeup (in the case of women, of course) and to their general health. I can tell a lot just by the condition of a person's hair and if their eyes are clear. Their words and manner of speech indicates their level of education, but I've met some very intelligent and profound thinkers who didn't have the benefit of a higher education. It's what's in the soul that is most important. I have decided, though that it is still important to me not to compromise on any of these areas when choosing a partner. I can have friends from a lot of different walks of life, but need my partner to be compatible, which is one reason why I'm single. I've learned that it's better (by far) to be alone than with someone that you initially overlooked their shortcomings for only to have them become real obstacles later on.
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 40
view profile
Judging (accurately) by appearances!
Posted: 11/2/2008 10:57:32 PM
it's interesting to me, that this is a thread about "appearance" and it seems an inordinate number of posters have their appearances hidden. i've glimpsed through some of the posts, but got lost in "the arguing", so still not sure what that is all about! therefore, i am just going to respond to the OP's question.

i'm pretty open at intially getting to know someone. the concept of judging was introduced to me by my recent ex. sure i have preferences, but it takes something very offensive or disgusting, before i feel that i "judge" in the negative sense. for some, i just don't grow into anything beyond just friends or perhaps just a conversation over a cup of coffee will be the beginning and the end. it's just that "nothing happens" to make me want to continue. yet, i don't actively or consciously judge. you've heard the expressions: "just not feeling it" or "just not into" someone.

extreme obesity is not attractive to me, but i'm more interested in working on my own "few extra pounds" than poking at someone else's. i am told i am an active listener, which some people don't realize because i am also an active talker! so, over time, i hear inconsistencies, i hear when people become expert at telling me what i'm about when they don't even know me, i hear the talk and often i see no walk.

i hear and sometimes intensely feel people's pain, fears, dreams, aspirations, joy and especially laughter.

i attract visually to a person's eyes, smile, moves and i also attract (or not) to how he smells. i prefer kindness and i need someone who is soothing, but i'm willing to also soothe and take turns in that arena. just want my turn also!

i need to sense that a person takes care of himself as to grooming and i don't like bad table matters or snorting up one's food. that brings back bad memories to me. however, i am not GQ either and don't necessarily like a guy who over grooms. i like a man to look like a man, but also have a kind soul and good heart.

i used to attract to brooding musician types, but that was unfulfilling both emotionally and spiritually. i was just talking tonite to a musician e-buddy who explained to me that he and others often "hide" behind their music. i never thought about that before, although i knew enough to separate the music from the man, as they are not the same.

i used to attract to very brilliant people and gorge myself on ideas and creative thought in my greenwich village days, but the more brilliant thinkers were often too self absorbed and could not interact on other levels. thus, i separated them from my romantic life.

i guess i connect to the child within a person. i also have a keen intuition and then it's hard putting into words what i just "know". i need to be able to move with someone, which is why i like dancing. i need to be spoken to in a loving way and i guess i need to have all senses engaged, if we are talking about serious male-female attraction. i need someone who is physical, but also warm and snuggly and protective of me. i don't like being attacked or ridiculed and if i am misinterpreted, i need to understand the misinterpretation, and be welcomed to explain my intentions.

i need to intuitively know that i trust another person. again, a lot has to do over time with consistency and walking his own talk. i need to feel that i can walk mine, w/o the eggshell promenade.

i don't necessarily believe in love at first sight. but, i do believe that i know if i am "definitely not" and "never will be" attracted to someone fairly quickly on. the rest takes time. i think the majority of men, who i would consider, would fall in the middle and i would need some time to truly get to know them and see if the attraction will "come out". once it starts, it just keeps building until i feel i will burst! then it levels into a warm and fuzzy. there are some men i find initially attractive, but it fades quick when there is nothing between the ears, or our sensibilities are just not a match.

so, i guess i don't "judge" very quickly and i am searching more for depth of character, as well as what appeals to my immediate senses. i am extremely sensitive, however, when someone starts judging me and way too quickly.
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