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Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 101
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????Page 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I think sex is extremely important in a relationship. I love the closeness and bonding it brings with my partner and making him happy. Funny, when I was in a bad marriage I could have cared less about ever having sex with him. Outside the bedroom he was a pig towards me and then wanted sex when we hit the bedroom. I always felt so guilty because I had no desire for him and couldn't understand why. I felt horrible about myself as a woman and couldn't understand why other woman desired sex with their partner and I didn't. I finally asked my Dr. to send me to a sex therapist thinking I was a horrible person. As I told him about the marriage he simply looked at me and said "Why would you want sex with someone who yells, swears and puts you down?". I was there a total of 1/2 hour. Of course the ex was sitting at home all excited to find out what was wrong with me. Got a rude awakening when I told him what I had been told and doubt he believed me.

Being nasty, verbally abusive, swearing at me and lacking in the hygiene department killed my sex drive. When I complained about his lack of hygiene he screamed at me when you work fvking...20 hours a day you don't have time for showers (he was working full time and trying to get a business up and running...his choice not mine). I replied, "but Bill Clinton can run a country and he still showers". Of course that didn't go over well. I am extremely clean and well groomed and always tried to look nice for him..but too bad it wasn't reciprocated and he moved on to another lady while I was recovering from major surgery. Wanted to send her a thank you card!

Women fall in love with our fall in love with their eyes. A man making love to his woman is showing his love towards her (hopefully) and I think the same for women. There is nothing nicer that having wonderful sex and then falling asleep in your lover's arms. I love sometimes to just lie there and watch them sleep and gently caress them; I like to listen to their gentle breathing as I wait to fall asleep. I want him to know how much I love and appreciate him. But that is a two way street...I need to feel loved, appreciated and attractive to my partner.

Joined: 3/25/2009
Msg: 102
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 6/14/2009 9:49:26 PM
Sex is the" GLUE " to the relationship! with out the glue it will not hold together.
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 103
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 12/25/2009 1:20:55 AM

Sexual compatibity is very important to a relationship. That doesn't mean that every relationship needs to be extremely sexual. Some couples are perfectly content to seldom, if ever, have sex. As long as you and your partner are on the same wave length as far as frequency, sexual acts to be performed, what is and isn't off limits, monogamy vs. polyamory , etc., or are willing to compromise, you shouldn't have any problems in that area.

This is the perfect answer, by ForumFilly.

Everyone doesn't have to have a lot of sex, good sex whatever---- sometimes they don't need any sex, but what counts is compatibility.
Joined: 11/27/2009
Msg: 104
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 12/25/2009 1:39:59 PM
if your in love with someone and you have sex it wont matter if you love them it will be good. or you know some people really are not that good at sex but that shouldnt stop you from being with someone ..if they are bad then practice! but really it shouldnt be your focus or that important its more like a bonus. i would be happy to be in a relationship with no sex! a healthy relationship doesnt put sex as a number or condition.
Joined: 2/16/2008
Msg: 105
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 1/1/2010 8:02:04 PM
It rates at a 9/10 for me. It's extremely important. It's another way of bonding with my partner, feeling sexy, wanted, needed and loved and a great way to de-stress and feel in tune to my partner. It allows vulnerability, experimentation, excitement and fun....I love it! I love to please my partner and there are no boundaries (except for third parties or anything OVER the top). I do understand we are busy creatures and we can't spend our lives in the bedroom, but I always make sure my partner and I have sex MINIMUM 4x a week and spice it up where possible.
Trust, communication, honesty and impressing my partner make up my Top 5 most important. You have to be careful- the more the sex wanes in a relationship, I FEEL, the doors may open for temptation elsewhere. I find it VERY important to make sure I am there sexually for my partner.
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 106
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 1/6/2010 8:42:01 AM
A relationship Without a _Business_..!!
Sex is the Glue...that holds a _Good_ relationship together...!!
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 107
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 1/6/2010 11:41:07 AM

How Important is Sex in a Relationship????

If sexual desire and sexual activity is the core of a relationship, then that relationship is inherently unstable. Desire will naturally wax with a new lover, then wane with familiarity, obligation, commitment and reality. Quite honestly, an affair outside the committed relationship will always be more fun -- because it is frivilous, new and exciting. It is inherently unfair to make marriage or any committed relationship compete with the sexual excitement and firivilous fun on uncommitted sex. It is simply balderdash to argue that people will seek sex outside of a committed relationship only if something is wrong in the relationship. Sex is inherently a choice -- NOT a need. Food, shelter, clothing and even love are human needs. Sex is a choice. One can decide that a committed relationship is important to their happiness, fullfillment, and is a responsiblity -- so that they choose fidelity. But sex would still only be a minor part of that loving relationship. Consider: no one nurses a spouse through cancer because of sex, no one sacrifices their life for a loved one because of sex. In fact, people eschew sexual desire because of love. Natural attraction to others will occur, but love is about the sacrifice of not pursuing that attraction in hopes of a sexual encounter. Thus, love is about the committment that remains, when sexual desire wanes.
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 108
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/4/2013 2:33:14 PM

(Msg #1. Cdeluca0331) On scale of 1 thru 10 how important is sex in a relationship???

Sex is vital to a romantic relationship. It’s not uncommon to hear one say their partner’s habit drives them nuts. The truth is the person had that habit when they met but it never bothered the other individual before. What has changed? Invariably, the sex decreased.

When two people engage in sex it releases hormones. Something physical and measurable happens. Just as any chemical will affect our brain/thinking the same thing happens when chemicals are released during sex.

Some people look at sex as the “icing on the cake”. It’s not the icing. It’s not even the cake. It’s the basic nutritional food required by romantic relationships.

Anyone who has observed body language knows if a person is uncomfortable talking with another they will unconsciously pull their arms closer to their body. If they are wearing a sweater or jacket that opens down the front they will pull the two sides together. In other words they are covering their body for protection. It’s automatic, like a fight or flight response. When engaged in sex we are exposing our body to our partner, the opposite of the above. Our subconscious picks up on that, an evolutionary trait passed down through the ages.

When young couples get married and ask for advice, any tips, I always tell them the same thing. Keep a little pocket sized calendar in the night stand by your bed and checkmark the days/nights you have sex. When you have your first big argument, when you notice your partner is not as loving and attentive and helpful and it seems like they’re drifting away look at the calendar you have by your bed. I guarantee you will see the correlation between those events and the frequency of sex.

Many commonly believe sex wanes due to problems but they have the cause and effect reversed. The waning of sex is what leads to problems. The hormones produced by sex along with just being exposed to your partner affects ones thinking and actions.

Unfortunately, our society has denigrated and ridiculed sex. We’ve made a joke of it. It’s used to sell everything from cars to vacations. On the other hand any serious talk about sex is deemed dirty and we’re witnessing the results in broken marriages/relationships.

Sex is the easiest thing to do to ensure a successful relationship and it has little to do with being "in the mood". When it comes to doing things for ones partner/the relationship I often wonder what mood those folks feel when they clean the bathroom or make supper or do the laundry or wash the dishes/load the dishwasher or clean the snow off their partner's car or cut the lawn or ...... Does anyone ever say, "Wow, I'm in the mood to clean the bathroom! People do all kinds of things for their partner/the relationship but tend to forget the most important one, sex.

Anyone who doesn't believe in the importance of sex I suggest doing a little experiment. If one is in a relationship that is starting to falter set out a reasonable schedule for one month. Whether it's once a day or a couple of times a week follow the schedule for a month and see what happens. Nothing to lose and it is easier than cleaning the bathroom.
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 109
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/5/2013 1:15:10 PM
not too important...if she doesn't put out just end the relationship...unless her daddy is wealthy and she may inherit millions then you might want to keep her around like old luggage
Joined: 11/30/2009
Msg: 110
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/6/2013 10:47:53 AM
to a guy it is important,a girl maybe.
Joined: 11/30/2009
Msg: 111
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/6/2013 10:49:56 AM
you are a girl,a guy can't.he will get it one way or another.if you don't belive that you are not thinking stright.
Joined: 12/20/2012
Msg: 112
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/9/2013 7:28:50 PM
How important is cheese on pizza?
Joined: 3/3/2013
Msg: 113
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/9/2013 8:01:48 PM
I have been on both sides of this. Married 8 years to a nympho, that cheated when she didn't get enough. And 12 years to a woman I still love that did not like it, and we fought about it until the day she said she wanted a divorce.

I have learned that a relationship/marriage without sex is just a partnership/friendship. Sex is the physical expression of love. Without it, most relationships do not last. It also depends on the person's level of physical attractiveness to their partner and their own sex drive. I was not that attracted to my 1st wife, and didn't want it all the time. And that lead her to cheat because she loved it, and wanted it 3 to 4 times a day. But, the tables turned in my second marriage. She didn't like it, and used it as a bargaining chip to get me to do things that she knew I would not do normally. It was turned into an adversarial thing. And I had so much bottled up frustration that I come very close to cheating. Not because I didn't Love her, but because I could not stand not being touched and loved by her physically. I was so sexually attracted to her, it drove me insane. And that is something a partner should never experience.

I would say it is a solid 8. Without physical love, what separates a friendship from a relationship or a marriage?
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 114
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/10/2013 10:53:55 AM
It's an important _Part_ of a _Good Relationship_!!

(IMO)...The biggest part is ~Love~...the sharing, honesty and respect....which makes the ~Icing on the Cake~
just That much more Sweet!!
It's the most erotic way of saying "Thank-you for all the support, help and love you put into "US"...!!!"

Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 115
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/10/2013 11:06:01 AM

The biggest part is ~Love~...the sharing, honesty and respect...

Does saying crap like this get you the girls? Really?

Normal guys just aren't that deep bud and that's just a line. You can see I'm right by just witnessing post after post of women in the forums where sex is pretty much all the guys are thinking about.
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 116
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/10/2013 6:13:53 PM
At this point in my life.


Gotta have it. Nuff said.
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 117
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/11/2013 7:02:17 AM
MUST have sex!!!! Preferably this morning............oh damn, I woke up alone.
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 118
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/11/2013 7:48:16 AM
After a previous marriage with little sex, it shares my highest priority level along with true compatibility. Of course, someone truly compatible will also be sexually compatible. Anyway, it's a 10 for both, and I'd rather be single and looking than settle for less. Fortunately, I found my 10-10 and it is by far the best relationship of my life and looks to stay that way.
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 119
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/11/2013 12:35:00 PM
I have to wonder how many people who put a huge emphasis on sex are coming from a past where the sex was either not so hot or non existent? I wonder if some of the males who place sex as the number one goal came from a past where their wife or significant other stopped enjoying sex or stopped having sex with them because either their own needs were not being met or the relationship was failing. I personally feel it is a very important part of a successful relationship, but if the relationship is lacking in other areas, it will not be the glue to hold it together. In my experience, sex does not just disappear unless there are other problems in the relationship that are either being ignored or avoided. So if this is the case, and both people enjoy sex, why are so many men so overly focused on this rather than developing a relationship that will make the sexual part even better?

I think to push someone into having a sexual relationship before they are ready will not provide the end goal of a good sexual relationship. Having a good foundation, excellent communication mutual respect and love seem to be more successful at creating awesome sex than the other way around. But what do I know? I know from personal experience that sex is only sex without the rest. the rest of the deal make sex more lasting, more fulfilling and yes.. you get it more because she will want it more if emotionally you are connected.. otherwise.. some will never really know what an awesome sexual relationship is all about. JMHO
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 120
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/11/2013 12:49:28 PM
Sex takes on increasing importance as the amount decreases versus what you want or have had previously, or whenever there is a mismatch in desire.
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 121
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/11/2013 1:25:46 PM
Making love is more important then sex .There is more to a relationship then having sex. Anyone can have sex. Making love is better then sex. I do not care for sex. I do love making love with the right men for me.
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 122
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/11/2013 1:35:59 PM
sex in a relationship is very important without sex there really is no relationship
Joined: 4/8/2013
Msg: 123
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/12/2013 5:37:44 PM
What if the guy isn't putting out no matter what girl tries? Does that mean sex isn't important to him?
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 124
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/12/2013 8:01:41 PM

(Msg #141. Betrys69) What if the guy isn't putting out no matter what girl tries? Does that mean sex isn't important to him?

Not necessarily. It can depend on if he has problems/worries. It could be due to medication or some health issue. Or low hormones in which case he just doesn't think about it. In any case one should try to satisfy their partner. As I mentioned in msg. #122 we all do things for our partner even when we're "not in the mood".
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 125
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/12/2013 10:10:52 PM
I have come to understand that physical intimacy is a tangible celebration of emotional and relational connections.... that being said the most difficult part is finding partner that is mutual to your preferences to express it... ie frequency, type, kinks, preferences, fantasies, health limits, etc
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