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 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 126
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????Page 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Message: well if i say what im gonna say i wont get any messages ever again!!!!

It is important down the Line if u are in committed loving relationship. Sure. If guy needs sex all the time n wants to jump like rabbits. Three times a day and we do nothing but havin sex I will walk righ out the door. What happend to other stuff. Now lete ask that. How important in relationship is romance?
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 127
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/13/2013 5:01:41 AM
The biggest part is ~Love~...the sharing, honesty and respect...

Does saying crap like this get you the girls? Really?

Normal guys just aren't that deep bud and that's just a line. You can see I'm right by just witnessing post after post of women in the forums where sex is pretty much all the guys are thinking about.

Yeah saying to girl that I love her works. Yeah really. No guy ever got it from me before he said he loved me and we were in committees relationship. Sex is about 10 precent if its relly good it might be like 25%. Now romance if ain't there u aim getting none bc there won't be any relationship lol
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 128
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/13/2013 6:15:16 AM
When the woman starts withholding sex, I start withholding relationship. Guess who gets upset first...
 dishearteneddave
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 129
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/13/2013 3:54:18 PM

Msg #1. (Cdeluca0331) Well obviously this is a never ending dilemna. On scale of 1 thru 10 how important is sex in a relationship???

We can all sugar coat it and say it really does not matter...but in reality it does.


The way I see it is if sex wasn't important then the sex of one's partner wouldn't matter. If one is seeking a partner who has a sense of humor and a good job and looks after themselves (Eat healthy. Exercise. Etc.), enjoys the same activities, is sociable, likes kids and stray dogs.....has virtually every quality one seeks in a partner and claims sex isn't important then why would the sex of the partner be important?

Sex is the most important thing. It is the first question one is asked; Are you seeking a man or a woman? If having a job was the most important thing the first question would be, "Are you seeking someone who is employed?" Or if having a sense of humor was the most important thing that would be the first question so I don't know why anyone would say sex is not important.

I suppose if one is bi-sexual then the sex of the partner may be secondary to some other attribute but I've never heard of a heterosexual willing to negotiate when it came to the sex of a potential partner.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 130
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/13/2013 4:16:45 PM

Yeah saying to girl that I love her works. Yeah really. No guy ever got it from me before he said he loved me and we were in committees relationship. Sex is about 10 precent if its relly good it might be like 25%. Now romance if ain't there u aim getting none bc there won't be any relationship lol


Guys already know that and use it, the players especially. The words mean nothing to them except as a means to get laid. To me they mean nothing, could never figure out why some guys say those words so quickly.

Now as to how important sex is to a relationship, it is everything and it is nothing. I once dated a guy and the sex was smokin' hot from the first date on. Quality and Quantity. However about 3 months or so in, we both realized that there wasn't really anything there other than the sex. So in that relationship it was worth nothing, but when there is a better non-sexual connection, it is possible that sex can make or break the relationship.
 Maid-merry-on
Joined: 3/27/2013
Msg: 131
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/13/2013 7:20:13 PM
At my age...on a scale of 1 to 10...8! Simply put I want it and all the time. Glad I have someone who can give that to me. He's my age and it's great. One day he says we'll both slow down. Oh gosh I hope not! lol
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 132
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/13/2013 7:32:44 PM
Oh ok I get that any player knows what exactly say to girl to get some action. The thing is that if guy tells u he loves u week or two Into meeting with u - u should know better that something is up. If guy tell u that two or three months down the road he just might be yellin u truth. I always do wait there is no point rushing things. Bad if guy pushes for it he needs to go n let me find someone who will respect me care about me and has some values n morals n is not Into sluts
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 133
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/13/2013 7:53:06 PM
sex is a lot like money - it only becomes important, an important issue when you don't have any

people that have plenty take it for granted
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 134
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/13/2013 7:56:34 PM

Making love is more important then sex .There is more to a relationship then having sex. Anyone can have sex. Making love is better then sex. I do not care for sex. I do love making love with the right men for me.


could you explain to us the tangible, physical differences in actions?

I get it that there may be differences in mindset and emotions..but these are sort of difficult to discern

whether a guy f*cks you or 'makes love to you' much of his actions will be similar, no ?
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 135
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/14/2013 12:04:28 AM


Making love is more important then sex .There is more to a relationship then having sex. Anyone can have sex. Making love is better then sex. I do not care for sex. I do love making love with the right men for me.


could you explain to us the tangible, physical differences in actions?

I get it that there may be differences in mindset and emotions..but these are sort of difficult to discern

whether a guy f*cks you or 'makes love to you' much of his actions will be similar, no ?


Even though many male posts here are quite angry and filled with angst ... I will attempt to answer this for you guys that don't yet "get it"...

A fully evolved male has learned to engage a partner even during sex in a respectful and validating group of actions and interactions.... including physical and verbal interplay that explores and validates the personhood and also engages in a physical act that is fully mutual and comfortable..... He has shifted his focus and actions from achieving self gratification into the higher purpose of first achieving the gratification of the partner... His point of engagement is first the mind and then the body....

If you videotape the interaction between such lovers it is nearly impossible to see these qualities.... but it is felt at a soulish interactive exchange level between both persons....

A stereotypical male who is indifferent to his partner will achieve orgasmic relief but will also feel a sense of incompleteness or shallowness in his own being.... Is is comparable to eating a meal with food that is devoid of salt or spices..... or eating canned ravioli vs a home cooked version....

Your discernment will change when you fully set aside your own pleasures and focus entirely on your partner as well as advancing intimacy only when SHE is ready... the payoff for this self sacrifice is an intimate experience beyond anything you may have previously received when having just sex....

There is a body of wisdom that clearly outlines this very instruction and can be found in a sincere study of Tantric Lovemaking and Kama Sutra....

If you REALLY REALLY want a deeper experience in intimacy.... this is a great pathway to achieve it....

The alternative is to live in a life that is self absorbed and indifferent to your partners and overall filled with emotional disconnect and self loathing.... Your life... Your choice....
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 136
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/14/2013 12:29:21 AM
Please see

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/soulish

or
http://nicedefinition.com/Definition/Word/soulish/soulish.aspx
 dishearteneddave
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 137
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/14/2013 4:24:57 AM

(Msg #153. (Gentleplus) A stereotypical male who is indifferent to his partner will achieve orgasmic relief but will also feel a sense of incompleteness or shallowness in his own being.... Is is comparable to eating a meal with food that is devoid of salt or spices..... or eating canned ravioli vs a home cooked version....

There is a body of wisdom that clearly outlines this very instruction and can be found in a sincere study of Tantric Lovemaking and Kama Sutra....

If you REALLY REALLY want a deeper experience in intimacy.... this is a great pathway to achieve it....The alternative is to live in a life that is self absorbed and indifferent to your partners and overall filled with emotional disconnect and self loathing....


I think it’s fair to say most activities are more enjoyable if ones partner is fully “on board”, however, the absence of such does not result in self-loathing. If we want to use dining as an example its wonderful when ones partner enjoys and appreciates a meal one has made, however, unless the partner is visibly displeased their concealed indifference will not affect the taste of the food or the enjoyment thereof.

The truth is ones partner may attempt to cook a special meal with as much love as they can muster but a professional chef at a fine restaurant will offer a superior meal made with a complete absence of love for the customer.

Similarly, when it comes to intimacy/sex/lovemaking there are certain “standard” actions that make it enjoyable regardless of whether the person performing those actions merely likes the person or is deeply in love with them. Furthermore, the necessity of getting ones partner in the mood grows old rather fast. That’s not to say one simply jumps their bones but if the preliminary to lovemaking becomes a chore the enjoyment is definitely diminished.

It’s frequently noted in couples who have been together for a length of time. The lady will complain the man isn’t romantic and she requires romance as a lead-up to sex. I’m always tempted to ask what the lead-up was when they first met. In many cases the guy simply removing his shirt was sufficient to get the juices flowing.

Of course, the opposite is also true. A man will complain his wife doesn’t “fix herself”, doesn’t wear lingerie, etc. I have no doubt when they first met the gal’s undergarments were seen as nothing more than an obstacle to be overcome.

Where has the desire for each other’s body gone? After 15+ years of marriage my wife’s azz looks just as good to me as it did 15 years ago. I don’t need it dressed up. I don’t need encouragement to be attracted to it. It’s fine just the way it is.

Coming back to meals we eat dinner every day. We don’t say that because we’ve had dinner at 6 pm for the last 10 years we’re now going to dine at 7 pm because it’s getting old. If we’re going to take a serious look at sexual problems/incompatibility where does logic tell us the problem lies; with the person who is still turned on by their partner the way they were 10 years ago or with the person who has lost that initial attraction and now demands “encouragement” (romance, extended foreplay, etc.)?
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 138
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/14/2013 6:14:32 AM
@dave
yes you have correctly identified the "fizzle out factor"

these are pitfalls... and each of us must find a way around it, reinvent the relationship, or move on...

sometimes I think that most all of us have a relationship expiration point....some like yourself somehow are not impacted by it... and that is a wonderful gift too.....

@eff

you have correctly identified those who have a personal agenda that overrides most enduring soulish connections ie "Golden Vag!na" etc

the key is mutuality and cooperation at all levels and being on the same page...
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 139
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/14/2013 8:07:04 AM
what some 'evolved', poetic, gentlemanly, Dr. Phil Donahue types like gentleplus may not get is that SOME women, at least SOME of the time, want to be f*cked hard, not made love to..

they don't always want to 'make love' in this poetic, mystical, 'soulish' way.. they may at times want to make love, at others just want to f*ck like beasts.. some may want to 'make love' most or all of the time, some may want to just f*ck some or most of the time, others like a mix over time or even during the same session.

but spouting the stereotypical, mystical, soulish flowery stuff that some guys THINK all women want to hear..ironically probably helps them get laid more, with some women

yes, it's (shockingly) true, IME, some of those gentle creatures (women) at times want to just do it like the animals on the Discovery Channel ;) -despite societal brainwashing & conditioning to the contrary
 Advwench
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 140
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/14/2013 1:10:00 PM
whippedboi, I'm liking you more and more every day.

+1 to everything he said.
 satx78218
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 141
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/14/2013 1:46:23 PM
At my age, sex is no less important or pleasureful than 40 years ago, but everything else really become much more important than everything else was.

yes, sometimes it's animal sex, sometimes it's human sex, some (too infrequent) times, it's both. Who cares?

Preservation of the animal only cares about the animal sex.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 142
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/14/2013 10:50:41 PM
Wild animal like sex is also within the area of mutuality... there is no religious restriction on such mutually agreed conduct.... you are mistaken about my belief system... in fact the more inventive and torrid encounters can create a far deeper level of intimacy because the dynamic is much more intense and delicate....


this false dichotomy created by evangelicals (like some here )..(men all want to f*ck like bunnies, women all always want to make love in a spiritual way)..make me ill



and it should make you ill... because you are choosing to be combative with posts that challenge your assumptions rather than engage in a discovery process and application of mutual respect.... both genders need to step away from their normal limits and boundaries and fully explore the OTHER sides of intimacy to create a healthy mutual exchange

where did I say ALL men or ALL women.... my point was a generalization to make a discussion..... can you handle that with respect and civility???
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 143
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/1/2013 12:50:28 PM
So I have different question. I meet that guy and we went on 4 dates we fooled around a lil no oral or other sex just clarifying. He asked me 4 blow job but I said no. Now we going out tonight n I know the subject will come out again I'm not ready to any of those bc I relly know nothing about him knowing him for only week n a half but if I will say no again he will prop disappear but from my experience if I will be might disappear as well. I am looking for relationship so I think we should wait I guess he doesn't think so what to do or say to hom
 Bluegold007
Joined: 4/22/2013
Msg: 144
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/1/2013 12:51:42 PM

So I have different question. I meet that guy and we went on 4 dates we fooled around a lil no oral or other sex just clarifying. He asked me 4 blow job but I said no. Now we going out tonight n I know the subject will come out again I'm not ready to any of those bc I relly know nothing about him knowing him for only week n a half but if I will say no again he will prop disappear but from my experience if I will be might disappear as well. I am looking for relationship so I think we should wait I guess he doesn't think so what to do or say to hom

Please keep to your own thread, hyjacking isn't permitted. Thank you for understanding
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 145
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/1/2013 4:03:30 PM
OP, I think there are 4 things that are (over time) equally important to maintain a lasting relationship:

1) Good emotional health
2) Good sexual health
3) Good psychological health
4) Good financial health.

Missing any one of them for a long time can damage a relationship. Just my thoughts.
 dishearteneddave
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 146
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/1/2013 5:44:44 PM
How important is sex? There’s an easy way to find out. The next time you hear someone say sex isn’t important, that sex without love is cheap and unfulfilling, that sex doesn’t make a relationship, that sex without caring/feeling is meaningless ask them if they’d feel sorry and sympathize with their partner if their partner had sex with someone else. Ask them if they’d comfort their partner in their “hour of need” when their partner finally reveals they have suffered the “slings and arrows” of having had an affair.

I’m willing to bet you’ll quickly find out just how important sex really is.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 147
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/2/2013 6:15:13 AM
To bluedog

Writing another post on similar subject is also prohibited. If it cover subject that wlexactly where it belongs thank u
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 148
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/2/2013 6:47:05 AM

So I have different question. I meet that guy and we went on 4 dates we fooled around a lil no oral or other sex just clarifying. He asked me 4 blow job but I said no. Now we going out tonight n I know the subject will come out again I'm not ready to any of those bc I relly know nothing about him knowing him for only week n a half but if I will say no again he will prop disappear but from my experience if I will be might disappear as well. I am looking for relationship so I think we should wait I guess he doesn't think so what to do or say to hom


He asked for the BJ cause you didn't put out by the third date.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 149
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/2/2013 6:50:57 AM

I am looking for relationship so I think we should wait I guess he doesn't think so what to do or say to hom


You have every right to say no. He has every right to not ask you out again.
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 150
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/2/2013 7:20:33 AM
yes, it's (shockingly) true, IME, some of those gentle creatures (women) at times want to just do it like the animals on the Discovery Channel ;) -despite societal brainwashing & conditioning to the contrary


Yes, IME as well. The neat part is thats when you know you are in the room with a real flash and blood person.
When a woman can let the social veil fall off...and sometimes guys need to as well..thats when it gets downright physical and fun.

As to the main question...can there be any doubt that sex is important in a relationship? There may be fringe relationship types that dont really need this, but the majority of us WILL follow our biological, social, and pleasure principles and want to be with another.

Humans are animals.
Animals reproduce by sex.
Humans are compelled to reproduce.
Humans are animals compelled to reproduce by sex.

Be it loving and gentle or down and dirty...
How could this NOT be an important part of your relationship?
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