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 GoGirl1302
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 229
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????Page 15 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
Yeah i guess it can go "to shit" but if u both upfront to start with and have a rapport and friendship then when one is ready to leave the equation should still be able to retain a friendship.

I have been there few times and find guys can handle it better generally as they don't seem to have or allow that emotional attachment to creep in... we females seem to stuff it up eventually by doing that but hey u gotta look at it as a good experience, one done with respect for each other and no time limits... just enjoy the ride and journey and when time to get off the train well all good! We all get lonely and have needs and is all good.

I just stick to my bag of toys now, I know where they have been, they never let me down and always there haha
 eb3267
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 231
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/6/2007 1:23:14 PM
Hmm, as long as he's ( or you) is /are not married or with someone, I don't see why not..
 eb3267
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 239
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/8/2007 2:03:16 PM
She told the guy, and he told her about their count. He was 2. She told him 8. Then he stopped talking to her, and that was 8 months into a serious relationship growing to be more serious...... oh well.


This is not the 40's when you didn't have sex untill you were married.. Allthough life was easier then, and you grew together sexually, it didn't mean that relationships last any longer..

I for one don't realy want to know how many partners you have had, I want to know that I'm the only one that you're with now !!

But that's me, as long as the sex was safe it's your past and hopefully you've learned something by it !!

Ems..
 2crazy4u
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 242
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Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/9/2007 1:25:13 AM
I totally have to agree with shadow captain on this one, I have tried it and i was actually the one to get my "feelings" involved and then my heart broken although from day one, we were both on the same page with that "no strings,commitments,emotions" clause. I do agree that morally, a friend with benefits is ok but as he stated, almost always, someone gets hurt in the end wether it's intended or not. I am curious to know if anyone has any suggestions to how to "distance" those feelings and keep them away and just enjoy every moment of "quality" time with this "friend",LOL. So many scenarios, so many "quotes" HAHA!!! Guys, you're probably the best ones to be able to keep emotions out (no offense of course), any suggestions how to keep the heart out of it ? If there's some secret, i know i'd like to know!! But then again,i'll have to disagree about bring on the one night stands cause then you're playing without a clue while with a "buddy" at least if you're both open and honest, you know where each other has been, if has been with someone other than you, of course...
 open_minded28
Joined: 8/25/2005
Msg: 244
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/10/2007 1:10:03 PM
I definitely think so, as I've had several throughout my life.
All were long term (years). Some were deeper friendships than others, some were sex first, then the friendship delevoped, others were friends first.
Because people are different, each relationship was different. In all cases, we were crystal clear about the terms up front, and understood it was really all about physical gratification and nothing more. It was just a really nice perk that we already had that trust and comfort level first!
Yes, there were a couple that ended up being too attached (myself or them), but we dealt with it and moved on. If both partners are mature enough, I think friends can make it work.
I think POF is a great place to meet a potential date or romance partner, I think other sites are best suited for sexual relationships (e.g. friends with benefits!). Why not post a profile on each? bedtreasures is new and free like POF is.
 liveyourlife
Joined: 1/8/2006
Msg: 245
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Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:05:58 AM
Well here's a situation for you....Friends with benefits are okay so long as there is an understanding that if either partner is seeing another person the fun stops immediately. (those are the words I told my long term friend and it was agreed by both of us) However some new information has come to light that he doesn't know that I know and I'm ready to bust his balls on this one. Turns out that he's engaged and never said a word to me. Now I feel like a bag of shit cuz I know what its like to be cheated on. I need to figure out how to tell him that the gigs up and see the expression on his face when I tell him that I know his dirty little secret. Any thoughts/suggestions are welcome. He can't have his cake and eat it too!!
 akgrl
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 249
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 5/3/2007 1:05:28 AM
I agree there's a lot to be afraid of out there. I was in a FWB relationship until he told me that he was with another on the side and she was with others too. We had discussed this and would tell each other if we were with others...he neglected to tell me. Anyway I was pissed...

FWB just makes me feel less of a woman and I tend to respect myself less as a result. Been there done that...I'd rather be with a man long-term. Take me or leave me, but I'm going to respect myself for being true to me.
 baddog
Joined: 5/31/2004
Msg: 251
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 12/9/2007 4:57:49 AM
Been there, done that; not too kewl when she got too dependant and attached. Too make a long story short; she blew it all up and caused a major commotion. My wife doesn't care if I get a little on the side as long as she doesn't have it thrown at her after the fact but this girl hunted me for 2 years. She got totally weird and wanted to marry me and so on. Thankfully, she found someone and got married and my wife and I had a baby so there is final separation. I still wouldn't mind a bit on the side with the right one as wife is no longer too much into sex, but I would be much more careful now. I would state right up front, "This will never be more than what it is, period." There is nothing wrong with friends with benefits, but make sure you both know what you are getting into and end expectations. Also, don't forget the condoms; I never want to bring home.
 luv4play2
Joined: 4/27/2007
Msg: 252
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 12/16/2007 1:04:46 AM
I think having a "special" friend is GREAT !!
I had the same one for 14 years.. We shared a friendship of many facets..
Neither of our spouses ever had a clue.. And I honestly feel that the "extra" sex is what has kept me young..
Moving out of state is the reason it ended..
 latinlady58
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 263
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Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 3/28/2008 7:32:35 AM
you mean u never had a one night stand ................wow, but a partner just for sex, i could not also, i want the other feelings that come with it .
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 264
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:26:19 AM
I have not met a woman who wants me for a freinds with benifits relationship .
 latinlady58
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 268
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Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/19/2008 5:34:30 PM
that ok if both parties agree, as for me it would not work , i get involved,sex means more to me,i just can not do that have a person for my sex needs, use toys for that,why ask anyway,unless u r not sure it is ok,i personally have to be able to look myself in the mirror and feel good about myself to me love foes with sex and it goes with someone for who u like and care for
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 275
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/20/2008 4:44:54 AM
I am one who gets emotional . sex to me means that you and I are more then "just freinds " . more to each other then two ships passing in the night . have sex with me and I wil be yours for life .
 hells_fire_angelgirl
Joined: 9/29/2005
Msg: 276
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Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/22/2008 6:38:12 AM
To be totally honest here I done the friends with benefits thing and each time I found its very difficult too remain friends while having sex . There is always some type of jealousy issue arise on either side and feelings become hurt and if you dont set certain ground rules it most likely gonna fail.
 nameunknown
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 277
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/22/2008 10:53:45 AM
This in theory is an excellant arrangement. You get yours and he gets his all without the threat of committment. Yes a fabulous idea IN THEORY. I say that because however much we'd like to pretend otherwise it is almost vertually impossible for women to not get emotionally attached to the men we are sleeping with. Next thing you know you either find yourself feeling like crap about yourself because the sex just feels like sex without any emotion and you feel cheap or you end up head over heels for a guy who will never be more than a sex partner and you end up broken hearted. All in all you end up worse off than you were to start. I say stick with the vibrator until you're ready to date.
 jf468
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 278
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/22/2008 11:52:58 AM
A friends with benefits situation is unsafe and risky behaviour from an STD perspective.


Why would a FWB situation be unsafe? If people are using protection, then the chances of getting a STD are relatively low.

To answer the question, there is nothing with having a FWB if that is what both people are clearly looking for. Sometimes people may not have the time or energy for a serious relationship. Sometimes 2 people like each other, but a LTR may not work out because of a large age difference, one person will be relocating soon etc.

 Wild Prospect
Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 287
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Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:36:44 PM
Friend with benefits. Notice it says friend with benefits ,not enemy with benefits, not stanger with benefits, and not someone I just met with benefits. The very structure of the wording indicates the person should be a friend first. Different people have varying requirements for considering someone a friend, but to me a friend is someone with whom traits like honesty, kindness, and discretion have already been proven. If the proper requirements for a friend have been realized you should have no problem having an honest discussion on the growndwork and limits of the benefit. ONLY after you are sure of the friendship should you approach the benefit. No I do not think it will work for everyone .(what does?) If you are one who lets their heart have free reign of their actions without proper consideration, then it probably won't, because you will become too attatched/involved. If your brain can hold your heart from jumping off the deep end, and just take it as it comes , you will probably be fantastic with the situation. I think the key is to make sure you have a true friend first and enjoy it from there. Good Luck
 vivaciousvixen2
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 288
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/29/2008 12:40:43 AM
wait there is a name for that f u k buddy no red tape TA DA
 Richard_D
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 292
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Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:52:12 AM
Well put Vixen....but to me...the real key is finding a TRUSTING person who allows you to completely be yourself around them with NO judgements, no redicule, and no unreal expectations....the more time spent together...the better it all gets which brings on more and more uninhibited actions. It's not easy to find someone like that...but I've certainly haven't given up hope.... Especially if you live in a non metro area like I do..makes it tough.
 SheKnowsWhatSheNeeds
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 293
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:14:50 AM
If it's not hurting you, physically or emotionally, go for it.
 funinpgh29
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 294
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:38:54 AM
of course as lond as noone gets hurt.....
 SomethingManly
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 296
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Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:10:48 AM
Put some thought into it before taking the leap ;)

Friend's with benefits has to go both ways, will you be there when HE needs some benefit?

What happens when one of you starts a new relationship? It could cause friction between you and your FWB and also in the new relationship? Could be a real problem if you're planning on doing this with a current really good friend.

What if one of you develops feelings for the other?

Not saying don't do it...just saying think about it :)
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 302
Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:38:44 PM
why not ? guys do it al the time so why not woman . So a freind becomes more then "just " someone you do things with when your other freinds are busy . NO worry of a "new " guy because jill can't remember his name , telling the same story to each new guy . They already know him . it's ok to have a freind as a benefit . guys do . they call those woman mistress .
 BiBoz49
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 305
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Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 3/18/2009 3:23:56 AM
As a couple we used to have other couples as friends with benefits. It's the best because you have each other for the relationship part plus the benefits of other friends.
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