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 AUTHOR
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 5
I guess I'm a real jerk...Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Don't worry. Soon she will find someone else to fixate on. You have more important things to worry about being in the military.

Thank you for your service to our country!! That outweighs any long distance phone relationship bad karma. You have good karma to spare!
 red_relaxed
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 6
I guess I'm a real jerk...
Posted: 5/23/2009 5:25:54 PM
No you're not a jerk. In fact you sound like a pretty decent guy.
You aren't responsible for how anyone else feels. It's their stuff, so leave it with them.
No bad karma here. None whatsoever.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 14
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History
I guess I'm a real jerk...
Posted: 5/23/2009 8:37:45 PM
Those might not have been her pictures. You really don't have any clue who you were taking to. I just find it hard to believe that some beautiful young girl in CA was looking for love in Germany. No matter who she is, she'll get over you real quick. Don't think twice about 'hurting' someone you never truly laid eyes on.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 15
I guess I'm a real jerk...
Posted: 5/23/2009 10:24:28 PM
I wouldn't say you're a jerk-- unless you said things you didn't mean, indicating that you felt something for her that you really didn't. It pays to be honest, even if it makes you feel like a jerk. But she sounds a tad bit odd, as well--I probably would be upset being rejected, but I certainly wouldn't really think I could have a relationship with a guy I've never met.
 brynn005
Joined: 9/14/2008
Msg: 17
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History
I guess I'm a real jerk...
Posted: 5/24/2009 9:53:16 AM


Geez, what a nice thing to say, theycallmedrlove.

Anyway, to the OP, I agree with many of the posters on here.. you were not a jerk. Try not to be so hard on yourself.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 21
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History
I guess I'm a real jerk...
Posted: 5/24/2009 10:19:27 AM
You should've been straight up from the beginning, pal, and said just what you said here "our distance rules out a romantic relationship in my eyes" and make sure she understands that, because of the distance, you're not going to be any more than just friends. You don't have to get into her whole insecure personality thing, but if ya meet a new girl in person and like her body but dislike her personality, well, I guess you should lay that out as early as possible too so there's no hurt feelings.

If the girl still freaks out, after you've been perfectly clear and set boundaries, the ownness for the karma is on her, and at least you'd have a clear conscience. It's too late now with this chick. Learn from this and lay some groundwork for the next one.

I don't see how anyone can get their heart broken from just phone calls and e-mails. This girl is indeed one insecure piece of work, and you must be one really good communicator and listener! Try not to beat yourself up.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 24
I guess I'm a real jerk...
Posted: 5/24/2009 1:01:47 PM

You should've been straight up from the beginning, pal, and said just what you said here "our distance rules out a romantic relationship in my eyes" and make sure she understands that, because of the distance, you're not going to be any more than just friends.

My thought exactly.

~OP~ You're getting a lot of kudos and props here (which is really ODD actually ~ yesterday you would have been neutered, must be a warm/fuzzy forum day) but the reality? You lead her on in some way. Yes she likely has issues ~ BUT, I don't think we're hearing the entire story here. JMO
 army3
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 26
I guess I'm a real jerk...
Posted: 5/24/2009 4:15:20 PM
Ok sgt. This kid of thing happens all the time. There's nothing you can do. Be a little more mindful of the red flags on those landmines from here on out eh?
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