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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Copping to a lie is the new honesty??      Home login  
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 4
Copping to a lie is the new honesty??Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
"Men put 5 feet 7 inches on their profile and turn out to be 5 feet even. They also post old pictures cuz when you meet them... you can hardly remember ever conversing with a grandpa online... It goes both ways."
"Nothing worse than being able to see the top of a balding head while you walk.... short men should own up the fact that they are short."

Romny - I would like to thank you on behalf of all balding, old men for reminding us we should at least be grateful we are not short as well.
Joined: 8/5/2006
Msg: 5
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Copping to a lie is the new honesty??
Posted: 5/25/2009 7:03:21 AM
There was a profile in my area of a guy who said he was a non-smoker, but had a few pictures of him with a smoke in his hand.

As for age, I've seen more than a few times where a guy will state in his profile that the age is wrong, give the correct one in the written part, and then say that it cannot be adjusted in the proper box. Typos do happen, but not as much as I've seen... especially when it comes to typing your year of birth. And all of the mistakes always favour being younger. Hmmmmmm....
Joined: 8/5/2006
Msg: 6
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Copping to a lie is the new honesty??
Posted: 5/25/2009 8:33:14 AM
If I find an interest in the profile, that age or height doesnt matter all that much. I don't believe that selective lying is a good thing, but sometimes advertising themselves with puffery is to be expected. It happens to us in the business world all the time. Please watch casting that first stone.


But also, let me add that their perception of reality could be different from what others deem. Perception is an interesting thing. Ten people can have ten different views on a "fact." But with age or height, well, it's not open to debate.
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 7
Copping to a lie is the new honesty??
Posted: 5/25/2009 8:52:42 AM
I talked to someone that not only lied about his age but also his weight. The funny thing is, he now has a blurb on his profile about women that lie about their age and weight. Now when someone tells me that they have been less then honest about themselves they are automatically put into the not a chance in H*ell category.
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 8
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Copping to a lie is the new honesty??
Posted: 5/26/2009 12:57:12 PM
I've seen that a lot - men who have one age listed and then in the profile say - I'm really 51 but I do feel 39! I also met someone who listed their age as 47 - on our first meet he said he felt terrible about lying, and told me he was 51. I asked why (I mean really, 4 years?) and his response that once you hit 50 you only get "blue haired little old ladies" interested in you.

I can't see the point in lying about anything - if something develops sooner or later you are going to have to face the music.

And for the record, I really am 5'7" - that is for all the guys who list 5'9" or 5'10" and then show up shorter than me. LOL

****MW - isn't it crazy? Like you can't tell the second you meet. Quite frankly I don't care if a man is shorter than me - but usually they do! I've dated people roughly the same height - and if I put on tiny heels and come up on inch taller they why do they lie if it upsets them?
Copping to a lie is the new honesty??
Posted: 5/26/2009 9:34:45 PM
Agree 100% BigDaddy! And that was my point, that people act like if they mention their true age (or height etc) elsewhere in their profile its all OK, when its an open misrepresentation, and a terrible way to introduce yourself. What's ironic is any interest I might have had is instantly gone when I see that they are willing to lie about something so trivial, indicating to me that they are quite capable of bigger lies, as long as they can justify it to themselves.

Of course, men are equally capable of the same thing; stupidity and deceit are obviously not gender specific. I just find it exceedingly odd that I'm noticing so much more of this now that I'm browsing ladies in a different part of the country. Sure, we've all met people that lied about one thing or another only to be found out (duh!) when you meet, but 'fessing up right in the profile wasn't something I ever noticed much of until recently.
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 10
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Copping to a lie is the new honesty??
Posted: 5/26/2009 9:39:13 PM

I have noticed this quite a few times, usually with some sort of excuse like, "my profile says 39, but I'm really 46, because I don't look or feel my age and wanted to show up as younger in the match searches."

I had that happen not long ago on

I was almost all the way to the end of the woman's profile, and was just about to click "yes" when I noticed she said that. It was a deal-breaker for me. I place enormous value on integrity, and I just don't see the justification of that sort of thing.
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 11
Copping to a lie is the new honesty??
Posted: 5/26/2009 10:32:28 PM

I'm really 51 but I do feel 39!

Every single time I read that (or something similar) I want to ask, "BUT?? Will my hands think you feel 39?" That is the silliest damn thing. Just like the proverbial, "I've been told I look much younger than I am." Good grief ~ you're Mother's opinion and your Magical Mirror don't really count when you are trying to market yourself online. PFT. Why can't they just say, "I'm 51, I think I look my age (you might not think so ??), I feel it sometimes and I'm thrilled to be here, it took me a long time to get this old." (Those age liars should try it, there's something energizing about just being "who" we are.) JMO
Joined: 5/2/2009
Msg: 12
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Copping to a lie is the new honesty??
Posted: 5/26/2009 11:56:39 PM
Can I be 39 but FEEL 50??? OH My aching back!!! Darn my back pockets hurt from sitting here posting on POF for hours!!!!

So... Do you like some baldness??? Do I need to take a pic of the TOP of my head without a hat??? Some women have seen that view of me before.

I think both men and women have that "bald is beautiful" in one aspect or another!!! OPP!!!

But really... If I am 6' and my date is 5'2" is she REALLY gonna be able to see the bald spot on the top of my head? Maybe she will as stated above.. BUT maybe that's why a lot of guys date women way shorter than they are? Hmmmmmmmmmm

Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 13
Copping to a lie is the new honesty??
Posted: 6/18/2009 6:10:28 AM
Why do men in Florida say they have 9" inch penis's when they are really only 4 "or 5"??? Wow, it must be a Florida thing. Guess I better start packing. A lie is a lie no matter where you live. And believe me, men lie too. Be honest from the beginning but you won't find that from everyone.
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 14
Copping to a lie is the new honesty??
Posted: 6/18/2009 4:30:28 PM

So what says the pond; is lying and then owning up to it equate with telling the truth?

No, it's not. Never is, even if there's good reason, or in rare circumstances, ethical to telling the truth. You didn't tell the truth in the first place. You lied, then told the truth. It's not the SAME as telling the truth in the first place, by definition.

With that said, tho, there can be instances where lying to someone -temporarily- for their good will (and you better be right about that), knowing that you -will- tell them the truth within a reasonable amount of time (depends on the situation), is a GOOD thing to do. I think we all know that there CAN be situations where that is good. Sadly, though, people's recognition of this concept apply it to improper situations thinking it's usually "okay", when it's not at all.

As far as the profiles are concerned? If they lie on their field selection (they are found in more searches), writing in their profile that they lied does NOT even undo it all! It doesn't undo the field selection -- therefore, they're not taking FULL ADVANTAGE of the lie, ie it's not as big of a detriment... but it's still a lie.

People who do that about the age, height, body, kids, etc. on a standard field question that has REASONABLE answers, clearly indicates that they're dishonest about things in life that may affect how much attention they get... they're willing to lie to get more pats on the back or positive attention from others.
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