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 bodybuilder83fl
Joined: 11/6/2008
Msg: 26
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I never do it until i get to know the person which is usually around the 2nd or 3rd date. By then we both know we have mutual interest.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 27
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 5/29/2009 12:58:31 PM
YES I WANT YOUR SO CALLED THERAPIST NAME AND PHONE!!!!! and do not forget to send it with a information divulgation authorisation (PDRIMA) as needed in such case.

1) if he said what you claim he said (and it is all printed on this site): that a big professional no-no...and he should be exposed and taken out; but also, since I know you are lying, to recommend to him (if he even exist) another treatment in your case after he will have read this thread.

2) your infantil reply simply follow the psyc profile you have displayed (yickes), and guess on what page(s) of the DSM IV you fall in?

3) your last line was especially interesting, it display YOUR true nature and do not even realise it.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 31
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 5/29/2009 1:10:05 PM

I know you get off coming down on me, but I assure you I am not in anyway looking to bash anyone.

I don't... and although one may not feel that they're bashing anyone, that doesn't mean that they're void of falsely stereotyping in a negative light (ie bash guys in this case). If a goodnight kiss on a first date is giving a wrong idea by implying an invitation for sex that night, then that bashes guys... and double-standard accusations can be taken to be called out as bashing if they're far off the mark and make a gender look bad. And I'm sorry, but I don't see his point that it would be like that. I'm sure if you talk with him again about it, he'd clear things up, and if there is no clearing up and that's the way it is -- I suggest getting a guy who has better stereotyping. :)
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 32
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 5/29/2009 1:10:31 PM
he he he he


I knew you will NOT do anything YOU offered and claimed to do; why? because you LIED, then you tried to LIE some more in defence, and then LIE again to escape as you start to get some pressure and realise the whole implications of your lies

Compulsive liar is what you are.
Inventing drama is your game.
Racism, stereotyping and deroagation is your only defence under pressure.

caught, busted and unable to escape you are.

so go ahead...bla bla some more if you want to; the little pressure I placed on you to reveal yourself worked like a charm.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 34
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 5/29/2009 1:27:12 PM
You should only kiss after 6 months.




(the above comment was meant to be funny, but obviously this thread has escalated to a flame war between participant so the humor that it may have, is all but gone. So people. Just chill.
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 37
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 5/29/2009 3:28:57 PM
i'm intrigued by the word "therapist" (the rapist)

-anyway back to the post,,,
-not saying my intentions are to drag her back to my cave and have sex with her on the first date, however, if i dont want to kiss her on the first date -i most likely don't want to have sex with her -ever.

"a kiss is just a kiss" -you turn it into whatever you want
 zapped
Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 38
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 5/29/2009 5:28:29 PM
its only a kiss or it depends what kind of kiss both parties will give.
A simply short kiss on the cheeks on the first date is okey and it wont lead to sex.Probably long torrid kiss on the first date is an invitation for sex.It just depend on you.
Sex or no sex on first date youre the one who will control the situation.
Men are just ready to anything what will happen..so its up to you what you want to happen..including the kiss.
 Elizabeth023
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 43
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 5/30/2009 5:27:12 PM
A kiss is a kiss, it doesn't need to be more than that.. If you are attracted you may want to kiss the person, doesn't mean that you are interested in sex..

That comes later if both parties want it..
 GoofBall311
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 45
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/1/2009 4:35:10 PM

What is it with the people in Quebec who seem to have very mean dispositions? I hope everyone is not like that in Quebec but on the forums it is a bit obvious there is something wrong.


LOL, yeah, screw Quebec!!!
 buckmaker
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 46
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History
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:31:41 PM
A kiss can be more intimate than sex so I think a new therapist might be in order.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 47
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:51:28 PM

I have this hang up if you will about kissing. It has to be over the top good or I will not be turned on ever. Some people are turned on by what ever and thats cool but my thing is kissing. So if I kiss a guy on the first date and its great I look forward to dating him again cause chances are other things will be good too. I am usually right. On the other hand if a kiss is not good it is a turn off. Not that someone can be taught but there is something about a great kiss. Of course the person has to have a great personality too. Plus common interests.

I like to kiss so much I was wondering if maybe I was going for the kiss too fast. My counselor agreed.

btw I go for therapy for ptsd from a violent past marriage. Happy to say I am doing very good and even advocate for battered women.


I'm not a therapist, nor do I play one online...but lady, I can see why your therapist/counselor/whatever said to not kiss. YOU'RE putting a lot of emphasis on kissing..."I like to kiss so much". What it sounds like you're NOT saying is that your idea of kissing leads you to sleeping with men before it's really good for you. And if you're a battered woman as you say you are, you're playing a bad game of dating roulette with yourself. It's almost as if you know where you can take a kiss and you're seeing if you can restrain yourself...

Honestly...are you SURE you should be dating? I ask that in all seriousness. You say you're being treated for PTSD but don't say how long ago this all has happened. Are you sure that you're not opening yourself up to more stress?





PS....Commensens...would you be mine? LOL
 Go Rin No Sho
Joined: 1/9/2009
Msg: 51
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History
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/1/2009 8:57:26 PM
I think your therapist wasn't kissed enough as a small child.

A kiss is an invitation to sex as much as:

A beach is an invitation to drowning;

A beautiful starry night is an invitation to insomnia;

Combs and hairbrushes cause baldness;

Pencils and keyboards cause illiteracy;

I could go on and on, but you get the point.

One thing I am certain of, however,

All therapists will find something "wrong" with you.
 zapped
Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 53
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/2/2009 2:35:48 PM
lady28.
I might be wrong but it seems that a kiss is really important to you than searching for a right man.
At your age does finding a good kisser better than finding a good relationship?
IMO if someone just looking for physical attributes like kissing or good in bed and missed the other attibutes like how a man treats people with respect,compassion and most of all (not all people knows how to show ) LOVE...it will turn out into nothing.
In time we all get to the point ..lets say" old" our teeth will fall off....I dont think..you can still feel the magic of kiss if you dont have teeth anymore.
Yes we all need sex but do you think older people still wants to know if one is good in bed or not?Come on lets get real here, do you think older people can still capable to be good in bed or sex?
Mostly older people that I know, dont care anymore if one is a good kisser or not,if one is good in bed or not,at thier age like 60 and up...mostly they look for a good relationship.
Youve been in an abused relationship before ----at this time,imo....you dont need a man who is a good kisser but someone who's going to love and give you a respect.
I hope you will advocate and give a strong output to those battered women that they dont need flowers and lipsticks from men but a good hands to take good care ,love and give them a respect.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 55
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/2/2009 3:28:28 PM
In principle, kissing would not be an invitation for sex, but in practice, it always has been.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 56
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/2/2009 5:18:04 PM
Sigh...I always love it when someone ASKS FOR OTHERS OPINIONS then gets pissy when they don't like what's said.

<div class='quote'>afashionlady how can you make assumptions about me based on a forum about kissing? </div class='quote'>

You asked a question...and I DO believe I gave my opinion...just like everybody else...and since it's a free site, my opinion was posted along with the others. Don't like it? Don't ask questions.


<div class='quote'>You are forming an opionion that I am some sort of kissing slut that is just a pathetic loser because I was abused.

Interesting. I'm going back to what I wrote and I do believe it says...:


<div class='quote'>I can see why your therapist/counselor/whatever said to not kiss. YOU'RE putting a lot of emphasis on kissing..."I like to kiss so much". What it sounds like you're NOT saying is that your idea of kissing leads you to sleeping with men before it's really good for you. And if you're a battered woman as you say you are, you're playing a bad game of dating roulette with yourself. It's almost as if you know where you can take a kiss and you're seeing if you can restrain yourself...

Now, let's try again shall we? Did I say you were a slut? No. Did I say you were a loser? No...I didn't. Did I say I wonder if you're playing a bad dating game with yourself? I think...yes...yes I did. Please, if you're going to respond to someone who is actually saying something that might hit home, respond back with what she or he said, not what you hear in your head.


<div class='quote'>My abuse happened years ago but I still have nightmares about it. I also have a hard time trusting men since I was abused from the age of 5 by men. So rather than hate men and not date at all I want to understand and trust that there are good men out there and not all are out to get in your pants and dump you or beat you.

Hmmm...again...I ask are you sure you're going about it the right way? I ask that again. And in all seriousness. Before you toss the abused bone at me, recognize that there are others out here on POF who very well may have gone through hell and back with abuse as well--and you don't know it. Abuse might be for a short time, but the effects can last FOREVER, as you apparently know. I ask about the kissing thing because 1) you asked the question and 2) you have stated that you LIKE TO KISS... And that it means something to you. So you're placing a lot of emphasis on something that MOST people don't see as an invitation to anything but another kiss or another date. So let's try this again...what are you reading because I don't see the things you're saying I said as being here. Enlighten me please.



<div class='quote'>If you can not understand that and think this is a joke since your so inlove with a wacked out head case like commonsense you would not understand abuse or anything that involves having compasion for another human being.

I truly am sorry that you feel this way and sorry for you. I'm trying to see where the "joke" part is of my post yet fail to see it. As far as the commonsens and being in love remark, you're showing how YOU relate to men. Making that comment shows no love intent nor anything else. And you think I don't understand abuse? OK--it's your place to thing whatever you like. Unlike you, I don't put my personal baggage out here for everyone to read and cluck over. Take what you want from that.


<div class='quote'>So I do not let your comments steal my healing or my joy. I am meeting nice guys and finding that with time its getting easier and easier. Yet it never ceases to amaze me how may ignorant know it alls go out of their way to mock others for the hell of it.

If that weren't so sad sweetness...sigh. I am going back to where I wrote a response and don't see a single mocking answer. Please reread my response. I asked are you sure this is something you want because you might be opening yourself up to more stress? Did that sound mocking or jokey to you? If so...then you should get a better translator because there was not a single joke there.

Your therapist has a lot of work to do--no actually, it's you that has a lot of work to do. Therapists aren't supposed to do it--those of us who go are supposed to figure this sh*t out with their guidance. Your therapist apparently knows your behavioral patterns well enough to know that for you, a kiss on a first date leads you down a bad road.

Sometimes OP...a kiss really is just a kiss. But for some people, a kiss has history and baggage and ugliness that others just don't see. Is that what a kiss means for you? I don't know--only you do. Maybe before kissing another man, think about what you want from him, and maybe wait until another date.

AFL
 CCustard
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 59
view profile
History
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/2/2009 8:09:09 PM
It may not be an invitation, but it sends a message that the possibility exists.
 slowerjoe
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 62
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/4/2009 7:54:12 AM
Hmmmm... in my book, yes...but it has to be the right type of kiss...
There are many different types of kisses but a passionate kiss says it all. I've kissed a lot of females and been kissed by a lot of them also but there is allways that'' one kiss '' that says it all. When it happens, it just happens. It is like '' for those who understand, no explanation necessary,'' and ''for those who don't understand, no explanation possible .'' You either feel it or you don't. If you don't, it is time to move on.
It works for me, not bragging, just the facts...
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 65
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/7/2009 8:12:37 PM
speciallady,

afashionlady wasn't calling you a kissing slut. A kissing slut is someone who kisses just about anyone for fun and enjoyment. An "easy" gal to kiss, if you will. She wasn't saying that. She was saying that maybe for YOU (not guy) kissing leads to things where you open yourself up to sleep with them... Now, whether that's true or not, is another discussion. You were asking for opinions, she gave you hers. She was right in saying that you're just calling foul because you're hearing an opinion you don't like.

OPs on the forums will post messages about themselves, reveal things about themselves, asks for people's insights regarding their situation. If someone responds and says they're a kind, intelligent person -- do they say "you don't know me! who are you to judge?" No, of course not... but they are "judging". With that said, their opinion may not be complimentary, and the OP may not like it, but in the same fashion, sorry, they ARE one to make assumptions -- the OP asked for them! That's not to say a poster can't go WAY out of line... don't get me wrong. But a general judgment on the person RELEVANT to the issue the OP's talking about is in line, the OP asked for the opinion, and many times that opinion is going to include an assumption about their feelings/personality/rationale that they may or may not like.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 66
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/8/2009 3:44:58 AM
Read other threads the line goes from NY to CA as far as Rules.
Make your own rules!
there used to be a song that went something like.... YOU gotta make your own kind of music sing your own kind of song, even if nobody sings along.........

I personally feel that a kiss good night is acceptable on the first date but I don't want to have to extract myself from the car while my date is comming on like a bulldozer.
However there are times when someone has not kissed me till the 2nd which just means the person is being respectful .
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 71
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/9/2009 1:49:05 PM

A kissing slut is someone who kisses just about anyone for fun and enjoyment. An "easy" gal to kiss, if you will.




*tries to hang head in shame*

...*gives up*

kissing is just too darn fun

 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 72
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/9/2009 1:52:16 PM

A kiss is an invitation to sex as much as:

A beach is an invitation to drowning;

A beautiful starry night is an invitation to insomnia;

Combs and hairbrushes cause baldness;

Pencils and keyboards cause illiteracy;

I could go on and on, but you get the point.


i like this

well said, go rin
 2EachHisOwn
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 73
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/10/2009 12:07:54 AM
your SHRINK is a JACKASS.....
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 80
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/14/2009 1:00:20 PM
at your age asking this question is kind of ridiculous;

there are no rules; you are sounding very anal retentive and over thinking in my opinion;

No a kiss doesn't mean you can have sex; if that were true, rape would be legal; foolish question.

I am glad you are doing well.
 LuvjenNJ
Joined: 6/8/2009
Msg: 81
Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?
Posted: 6/14/2009 1:10:46 PM

Is a kiss an invitation to have sex?


Oh gawd I hope not! Or else I'm in big trouble or the guys I date are in big trouble cuz there won't be any kissing going on lol!
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