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 packerfanman
Joined: 12/13/2010
Msg: 198
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History
Why did you get divorced?Page 10 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
In my case, she was massively ADD, OCD and bipolar, yet refused to see a doctor about it. Now our kids are suffering. I stuck with it 10 years, I gave it up after that but still am very close with my kids.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 199
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/2/2012 10:03:44 PM
Because he was engaged to another woman... and I didn't want to move to Salt Lake City...
 bigbummum
Joined: 1/3/2011
Msg: 200
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History
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/13/2012 12:51:07 PM
When one of your son's friends (17 yrs) comes up to you and say's they've seen pornographic pictures of your OH on the internet and that he's advertising himself - then I'd say it's time for a divorce - even after 20 yrs and 4 children together - wouldn't you?

I stayed with him for too long anyway - mentally abusive , alcoholic, who would have seen the children hungry before he saw his beer stash empty. Also found out after he'd left he hadn't paid the mortgage for over 4 months or any of the utility bills. Still getting letters for him from debt collection agencies - returning them unopened!!

Showed his true colours too - ran off to Thailand so he wouldn't have to pay for the divorce or any child maintenance!

Last heard of (prior to divorce being finallised) - Married to a Thai woman - still in Thailand - haven't had any contact with him nor has he even bothered with any of his children - who now say that even if he does turn up like the preverbial bad penny they don't want anything to do with him!

I may be a sad lonley old woman now - but I'm still happier than I was in my marriage and I know my children are better off without the verbal and mental abuse that he used to subject us all too.
 quietheart1968
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 201
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/13/2012 11:10:09 PM
I divorced my husband for domestic violence against me and the kids. I dated him from the time I was 15 and was married to him for 20 years. Best decision I ever made. I have sole custody/guardianship of the kids, and I don't cry myself to sleep any more. He still wants me to take him back, and he still wears his wedding ring after 2 1/2 years. Never in a million years would I take him back. Don't hate him, not bitter, not angry... just 100% done. :-)
 Devilsfan58
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 203
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History
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/14/2012 8:56:22 AM

Then WHY for the love of God did you start dating them and get married in the first place!!!


I can't speak for all but in a lot of cases we try and get counseling and be a good soldier for the cause. 4 or 5 marriage counselings and psychologists just do not treat addictions the same. For example if you say X drinks 12-30 cans of beer or hard liquor a night most of us would agree that person has a problem. However if your female in the cases I presented it was always "Oh she is a SAHM"...OR "Oh she has small children to raise...blah...blah blah. The fact of the matter is if the person is a male they won't hesitate to say the person is an alcoholic.

I have a long suspician that depression does not show up until after women have for the most part who were normal had two children. I have seen this repeated 4 or 5 times. Person was normal and after the birth of that second child....Standby...houston we have a problem.

With the legal system the way it is so biased in the USA as a male your better to keep them. They can be the most lousy person in the world but the way it usually works out is she gets the kids, house...blah...blah...and the male has to finance her lifestyle. I even had my female attorney tell me not to file. Now mind you there were workarounds so that it wouldn't look like I was the ogre male putting some helpless 40 plus year old female out on the street.

I'll also add that for the most part you really do not have any rights as a spouse with regard to treatment of your spouse. So I'll give you a example. Patient has a complaint goes to Doctor. Doctor asks the routine questions for example. Do you smoke?.Sometimes....She is/was a two pack a day smoker. Do you drink and howmuch? Occassionally... a couple. A couple is everyday and 30 cans. He prescribes her Valium or similar drug. You try to talk to him advising what it is doing and they don't want to hear it. So you go home and try and protect the children and worry about if and when she is going to Karen Ann Quinlan herself.

I certainly wasn't a saint and I guess had my fair share in the demise. But I was working two full time jobs plus overtime working for 2 fortune 50 companies plus doing all the dental, medical appointments, sports...etc for the children.

We got her into a 30 day treatment program and she came home and immediately went out drinking saying that even the counselors said she did not have a problem. Well the Superior Court Judge ordered you there thought you did but that is a whole nother can of worms.

:devil
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 204
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/15/2012 4:17:14 PM

Is my life better now and did I finally see him for the man is truly is? Absolutely...Did I f*ck up too? Yep....Will I ever do that again? NopeIs my life better now and did I finally see him for the man is truly is? Absolutely...Did I f*ck up too? Yep....Will I ever do that again? Nope


^^quoted post...


Because they're too stupid to know any better. When it didnt work out, guess who got ALL the blame for it? the man. Notice how they didnt happen to mention THEIR responsibility/fault for the dissolving marriage either?


^^immediate response to above post..


I am slightly confused... how does "did I f*ck up too? Yep, will I do that again.. Nope" admitted immediately before his rant somehow equate to the man getting all the blame for it and her being another example of someone not mentioning their responsibility like all the rest of us women.

What part of someone admitting "I f*cked up too" is being completely unable to take responsibility; and then going on to insult her stupidity and calling her and the rest of us who had failed relationships dolts...

Maybe just the teeniest bit prejudice and cynical over there? :)
 aero86
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 205
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/15/2012 5:53:40 PM
well, because after 4 years of being the only one trying to make it work.. it was over. oh, and the selfishness and the infidelity..
 okclooking
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 208
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/17/2012 4:04:52 PM
Didn't treat her right she found a lover I changed she got worse kept talking to her lover. She left me for her lover and that was that.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 210
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/18/2012 5:25:50 AM
Because, after more then a decade of controlling, abusive behavior, my ex finally did something involving one of my children which made me realize I was fooling myself in thinking the illusion I'd tried to create was protecting them from the truth. It was big enough for me to see very clearly that the obstacles which had kept me there although massive, were not insurmountable. It was big enough for me to understand that although I felt invisible and insignificant, only I had the power to change that. It was time for me to step up, not just for them but for myself too.

A few minutes of incredible bravery was all it took. A few months of fear to have my assessment confirmed. About 18 months to untangle the mess and find the entire truth. A few years of hard work to know I should have done it far sooner.
 davelos1984
Joined: 5/3/2012
Msg: 212
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/21/2012 4:57:24 PM
I am getting divorced for the second time because once we were married she because extremely verbally abusing. Eventually it got so bad that I ended up in the hospital. She treated me like complete shit and I just couldn't take it anymore and left.
 BEANEE01
Joined: 6/28/2010
Msg: 213
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/25/2012 6:18:52 PM
Facebook was the demise of my marriage. Not really, but it starts innocently enough-connect with an ex girlfriend from 20 years ago, email how cute each others kids are, mention how they still look the same after 20 years, and oh by the way I'm divorced now. Next thing you know he's not paying the mortgage because he spent it all on plane tickets and hotels for his side action.
That, on top of a lot of married guys on here posing as single definitely can cause some trust issues. Luckily I've decided to start collecting cats-lol.
 MementoMori32
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 214
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/27/2012 9:24:31 PM
Facebook was also the demise of my marriage. It's a growing trend from what I understand. My ex wife ran into some guy she knew from school on Facebook, started chatting and decided the grass was greener elsewhere. And some women wonder why men aren't very trusting when it comes to male friends. That's all this guy was at first too.

PS: the grass was not greener.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 215
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/28/2012 4:45:23 AM
^^^ And even if it seems so, you still have to cut it :-)
 Not_Stupid
Joined: 5/19/2012
Msg: 216
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/28/2012 5:48:07 PM
My husband went nuts, literally, with "visions" so I helped him see the future, without me. Divorced 6 months later by annulment.

Since then one 7 year ltr, but he got the itch for my best girl friend and they both had to go. My last, (a 4 year relationship), well he was a thief and wanted to help populate the earth.. He told me of 3 other "ladies" and I showed him the door.

It's been a long time now, but I know there are real and decent men out there that I would love to make space in my life for.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 217
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/28/2012 5:51:43 PM
LOL ^^^ I know it's not a laughing matter but the way you phrased it, did amuse me, highly.
 lifegoeson09162011
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 218
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/28/2012 5:55:39 PM
Futureshock-

I feel for you man. My ex became ill immediately after she gave birth to my son. She was originally diagosed with bipolar, which was modified a year later to schizo affective with a bipolar subtype. Mental illness is utterly devasting. Unlike other physical illnesses, you do not even recognize the person you fell in love with and married. That person left the farm when the illness took over.

Best of luck to you!
 Not_Stupid
Joined: 5/19/2012
Msg: 219
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/28/2012 9:39:08 PM
lol with ya import!! ^_^

it is all good tho, every day and night it just keeps getting better and better ;)
 TRACYMT2NY
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 220
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/28/2012 10:07:32 PM
I got divorced after 10 years of marriage. My question also isn't why did I get divorced, but more why did I stay? He was verbally and emotionally abusive for a long time. It escalated to physical violence the last 3 years of the marriage. Too many calls to social services and CPS. I had to get out for the safety of all of us. Best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm sad about it, there isn't a thing I would've done to keep us together but nothing worked.
 lovelynwhite22
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 221
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History
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/31/2012 8:55:51 PM
me and my husband got divorced cause the day i got out of the hospital after having out son i found a girl asleep in my cloths in our bed, and he wants to play stupid and act like he didnt know her and come to find out he had been sleepin with her since the night i went into labor!
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 222
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 6/1/2012 6:59:43 AM
"Facebook was the demise of my marriage. Not really, but it starts innocently enough-connect with an ex girlfriend from 20 years ago, email how cute each others kids are, mention how they still look the same after 20 years, and oh by the way I'm divorced now.



except my ex began with MySpace......

I made a BIG MISTAKE and used tracking software on her PC and mobile device.....boy did I find out WAY more than I needed to! Every text, email, correspondence, website visit, key stroke......I sure wish there was a memory delete button! Sure made my court battle easier though. Those country judges don't like that kind of person.

She was the only one I trusted with all my heart, and I am realizing how incredibly difficult it is to do again.


PS: the grass was not greener.


Nope, the grass was not greener for her either. I saw that very quickly.
 xstar83x
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 223
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 6/1/2012 11:59:28 AM
We didn't take the time to get to know each other. Moved too quickly, and ended up the worst mistake ever made...th only thing I got out of it were my children.
 TheOtherMichaelKeaton
Joined: 5/28/2012
Msg: 224
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 6/5/2012 9:37:32 PM
Mine was another social network debacle. My wife started going out to bars during the week with her "friends from work" and not coming home until 4am, and sometimes not coming home at all, leaving me to take care of our son and wondering where she was or if she was coming home. Then she started accusing me of sleeping with a woman I hadn't seen in over ten years because she was on my MySpace page. She'd go through all of my emails, and MySpace messages trying to find something, but there was nothing to be found. When I asked if I could go through her emails, that was answered with a big NO.
One day she forgot to log out of her account, and I decided what the hell, and went through her emails. That very day she had been talking to a guy she knew from high school. She told him that I was cheating and had already moved out of the house (nope - faithful and still living there). She told him that she had been cheating on me with a co-worker. And she told him that if he'd like to hang out sometime and have a double date with her friend, they would both be getting laid that night. Here's the kicker - that guy was engaged to be married at the time. I then introduced myself to this other guy and suggested he stop talking to my wife because I could so easily ruin his wedding plans.
So I confront her with all the evidence (and yes I saved it all digitally), and her answer was, "now you know how it feels." Uh, nope! Sure don't. And when I asked her why she would sleep with a man who's engaged to be married, her answer was, "He's not getting married until October." This happened in March. I found an apartment a few days later and never went back.
The grass wasn't greener (duh!) and she wanted us to get back together, but I refused and got divorced in '09.
 alimatty
Joined: 5/21/2012
Msg: 225
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 6/6/2012 6:37:36 PM
I'm getting divorced because my husband doesn't believe that he should be supportive of myself or our two young children; he wants to act like a single guy when he has responsibilities. If you asked his reasoning it'd be because he believes we just don't get along...
 Debyduz_
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 226
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 6/14/2012 8:05:46 PM
My ex had been robbing us blind the whole time we together. I had known something was going on many times but kept accepting his excuses and giving him the benefit. He was also emotionally distant. I should have let him go long ago or maybe not even married him. I can only really blame myself. He had always treated my son very well like he was his own son. We then adopted a child who ended up having a great deal of issues. Our son took most of our attention. When we were ready to divorce I became pregnant after years of trying and fertility treatments so that extended the marriage. We then were in the middle of adopting 2 siblings when he started disappearing the money again. He figured I would not risk losing the kids, but the reality of what he had really been doing all those years became very clear. I was very lucky and the agency supported me in adopting the children alone. After getting rid of him it was apparent he was stealing hundreds from me every week. So I had new found wealth. He still manages to see see the children very regularly. He even sees the ones I adopted alone and acts as a dad. He barely talks to me unless is necessary or wants to borrow money LOL.
 BeautifulButterfly918
Joined: 6/8/2012
Msg: 227
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 6/15/2012 2:41:33 PM
Several reasons. Looking forward to starting over again though: -)
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