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 abee_normal
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 177
Why did you get divorced?Page 4 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
married and divorced twice

First one ended after 2 years of sleeping in the same bed with no sex, no cheating. She was depresed after her father died, and couldnt break the depression. I saw the movie " as good as it gets" I began to ask myself if this was as good as it gets for me? I encouraged counseling, but it didnt go anywhere.

second one is more complicated. we went almost 6 months without sex after birth of my son. I didnt want to repeat the pattern of first, so we went to a sex therapist. we tried to repair what was wrong.. multiple abortions, death of mother at 21... in therapy we discovered I was adhd. things changed, my ex blamed me and my adhd for everything, didnt want to be financially tied to me. shit hit the fan afterthat

third time the charm is lost on me, but with the right one, i would do it again.
 samanthaashley91
Joined: 3/26/2012
Msg: 179
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/5/2012 2:39:28 PM
My husband and I are getting divorced because a year after our marriage, he became abusive. Both physically and emotionally. He was very controlling, I wasn't allowed to go anywhere or do anything. Friends? What are those? I was never allowed to hang out with any of my girls. He had a previous bad experience with an ex girlfriend that would go out with her little clan and cheat, I am not that kind of person. Eventually, things became so tense that he started to lash out at me. A little at first, a shove, maybe a slap across the face. Near the end he broke my brand new dining room set and proceeded to throw the pieces at me. After being held up against a wall by my throat, I had enough. I called the police, because he wouldn't stop screaming, I didn't want him to wake my 10 month old daughter up. I would never want her to see anything that he was doing to me. Soon after, I packed my things and left. I'm glad I did. As I was packing he came at me with a knife, he told me that if I was leaving no one else could have me and that he was going to kill me and himself. It took his 2 brothers and step-dad to hold him back. I have never been so afraid of anything in my life. What would have become of my daughter if he would have succeeded? I don't even want to think about that. I'm just glad it's over.
 axmos68
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 180
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/6/2012 1:34:31 PM
After 15 years of marriage I caught my wife in an online relationship. She had even arranged to meet this person thought he never showed up. When I confronted her about this relationship she didn't deny it. I then asked her to try to work things out get counseling. She said she would rather pursue this new relationship. So now about a year later I have dealt with the heartache, gone to counseling and am moving on with my life. Still not sure exactly how it happened, I thought I was a good husband to her, but I guess sometimes people change.
 domestic_bliss_number6
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 181
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/7/2012 9:28:51 AM

Well this question is easy.

My ex wife is a child molester. She taught 9th grade science and had an affair with one of her students.

Jason




Wow, just...wow. I cannot believe how common this is becoming. Does anyone have any insight into what is going wrong, psychologically, with these women?


Men are just as guilty, if not more. Do you keep up with the news?
 friendshipcomesfirst
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 182
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/7/2012 8:35:32 PM
My husband was physically and emotionally abusive pretty much starting from the day our first son was born. I left several times. When our boys were 10 and 11 he disciplined them by shooting them with a pellet gun... If I choose to stay and tolerate the abuse, it's a stupid choice but it's my decision... The kids didn't have any choice, so the only option was to call it quits.
 socalcitycat2012
Joined: 2/27/2012
Msg: 183
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/8/2012 1:22:37 PM
@friendshipcomesfirst--> thank God you found the strength to leave! You are right; the children of abusive parents are oftentimes delegated their fate--many times becoming abusers themselves. Well done! Stay tough, mentally and emotionally. There is a whole new world out there--a world where there is a man who will treat you and your children right!
 calitexan99
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 184
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/9/2012 9:35:10 PM
*cue Jerry Springer crowd yelling Jerry*
She left me and the kids for a dance instructor 15 years her junior.
Then went on a drug bender.
My story could be a Lifetime movie of the week if genders were reversed.
:D
 vampyreshadow
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 185
view profile
History
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/10/2012 2:55:48 AM
My divorce story is freaking funny, my ex left me for his ex best friends wife and co workers wife, so we had a two for the price of one divorce. It became so famous I ended up having random co workers of the guys involved coming up and asking me the whole story. I actually wasn't all that upset, my ex was a bit of a control freak, in my 14 years, the only time I was allowed out of the house was to do kids stuff or shopping, he put everything I did down allot, basically he always told me I was to week, or to stupid to do anything. The thing is I would still be trying to fix it if he hadn't left, I unfortunately have this issue, I commit to something, I will stubbornly not drop that commitment. So basically when he left, I was more grateful then anything
 M2036
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 186
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/10/2012 7:38:36 PM
Men and Women divorce for many reasons. The most common reasons are disagreements about money, how to raise the children and religion. In my case it was mostly the first two reasons. Also, in today's age of texting, facebook, etc, many people do not understand how to draw appropriate boundaries. For example, is it okay to have online friendships with memebers of the opposite sex who are not freinds with your spouse.... I don't think so, but my former husband saw it differently.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 188
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/11/2012 4:36:42 PM
futureshock- My ex would not grow up and proved to be a liar.
He was irresponsible with money, over drew our checking account more times than I could count.
He was a major momma's boy, couldn't tell her no to save his life and allowed her to interfere in our marriage.
He was the passive/aggressive poster child. He would rather lie to get his way than tell the truth.
After 15 years of marriage and three kids I found out he had been lying to me the whole time. It wasn't cheating, he lied to me about land he owned that he eventually signed over to his brother for nothing. It took some time for him to admit it, but I found out it was his mother that asked him to lie to me.
I tried to save it, we went to counseling twice, but his attitude was pretty much, "now you know, deal with it".
Needless to say I couldn't trust him anymore.
I had to face the truth.
I wasn't first in our marriage, I doubt I was even second or third and who wants to be with a liar.
After I woke up and left him, he moved in with his mother, at 48. He has managed to find someone who now lives with him and his mother, God help her, all I can say is better her than me.
I look back on it now and feel kind of stupid for putting up with it, but I was raised to take marriage seriously.
I've learned a serious lesson and will take plenty of time before I commit and I will NEVER consider dating a momma's boy again.
Some lessons you learn the hard way.
 Doingitdifferently
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 189
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/14/2012 3:10:47 PM
Dewsbury9, I'm glad you appear to have the same views on marriage as I do...once the trust is broken, it's over! I have so many of my friends ask me why I didn't consider going for counselling etc. in hopes of saving our marriage. Like you, once I found out my wife wanted to meet with other guys when I had my back turned, it was a no brainer for me...we were done. I still talk to her and both her and her new partner remain friends of mine. I have never trashed her in any way, because she was a great mother for our son during the days I left the house for work and she stayed home with him. It's very unfortunate that she made the serious error in judgement that she did however...there must have been something our relationship that was missing for her to start looking elsewhere so, I need to take some of the responsibility for what happened. Having said all this though, back to where I think we are similar...once your partner cheats on you, there is no turning back once that line is crossed.
So sorry to read your marriage only lasted 9 weeks, my situation was painful however...yours would hurt even more I would think. Take care and best of luck with moving on :)
 friendlygirl63
Joined: 2/5/2012
Msg: 190
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/17/2012 9:14:00 PM
my ex prefer single life as we in married life so I have to must let him did what he wish:)
 sixstrings71
Joined: 3/18/2012
Msg: 191
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/19/2012 7:06:02 AM
The reasons were many and cumulative over time. After a while, we both felt disjointed with one another,mainly based on life style and priorities. It's difficult to pin it down to any one reason. One would be my ex's alcoholism. I think the marriage started sliding down hill early after she got her fourth DUI, after we were married for about 3 years. From there, it moved on to a general lack of trust in her and her judgement. I think what put me over the edge was the constant psychological abuse I endured relating to her very poor financial behavior. She has a good heart, but her priorities are all screwed up. I'm the type who pays bills on time, tries to put a little savings way, ect. She, on the other hand led a life of credit card abuse and alcohol. It got to the point that she was manipulating her W-4 withholdings not paying enough withholdings on taxes just to pocket some extra change. After doing that for several years after me pleading her to change her claim numbers to 0 or 1, I was nearing the end of my rope. I had to sell personal property that was very dear to me (collectible musical equipment, guitars, and anything else I could scrape up around the house) just to pay the resulting taxes several years in a row. The lying, sneaking around behind my back, drinking to excess, running up a 5 figure credit card debt, and then defaulting on them. I just couldn't take it anymore and felt it was time to protect my future, for both me and our daughter. When the recession hit, I was laid off. That's when I finally learned of her defaulted $25K credit card balances. So, bankruptcy followed in an attempt to save the house. Shortly after the bankruptcy, I learned that she went out and got yet another credit card and ran up a balance. That's what finally prompted me to draw a line in the sand and ask for a divorce, and she readily agreed. She was really non-chalant about it, and in denial that she had done anything wrong in her mind. Her behavior was destroying me. Anyway, we are now divorced, and our daughter stays with me. We have joint custody; but the ex chooses to spend virtually no time with her daughter, instead favoring a lifestyle of reliving her 20's and being a drunken social butterfly. It's sad really; but, I'm happier with being away from her B.S., and I can sleep better at night knowing that I am now in control of my own destiny.
 EULLER-vix
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 192
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/22/2012 8:43:12 PM
hi i like you kisses
 EULLER-vix
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 193
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/22/2012 8:44:56 PM
hi i like you kisses
 SimplyEric
Joined: 3/5/2012
Msg: 194
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/26/2012 6:24:32 AM

in today's age of texting, facebook, etc, many people do not understand how to draw appropriate boundaries.


Bingo! I've seen a lot of couple having trouble with this.
 sluggojr
Joined: 12/4/2011
Msg: 195
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 4/30/2012 1:13:29 PM
my ex wife fell in love with my best friend the god father of both my kids best man in my wedding to her while i was working nights to support us and i lost everything i had house cars money walked away with the clothes on my back and this was not the first time cheating on me . but it sure as hell would be the last
 Devilsfan58
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 197
view profile
History
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/1/2012 7:16:06 AM
Interesting!!!que dah dah dah...


Testimonials from TAKEN fab-mom's favorites list
the marriage has ended because jennifer cheated on me just like every previous relathionship she has had. if you want a woman that will love you for 2-3 yrs then tear your heart out, here she is. because if she couldn't get her shit together with me she definatly isn't going to with anyone else.


This is almost too funny....and ironic
 packerfanman
Joined: 12/13/2010
Msg: 198
view profile
History
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/2/2012 2:40:34 PM
In my case, she was massively ADD, OCD and bipolar, yet refused to see a doctor about it. Now our kids are suffering. I stuck with it 10 years, I gave it up after that but still am very close with my kids.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 199
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/2/2012 10:03:44 PM
Because he was engaged to another woman... and I didn't want to move to Salt Lake City...
 bigbummum
Joined: 1/3/2011
Msg: 200
view profile
History
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/13/2012 12:51:07 PM
When one of your son's friends (17 yrs) comes up to you and say's they've seen pornographic pictures of your OH on the internet and that he's advertising himself - then I'd say it's time for a divorce - even after 20 yrs and 4 children together - wouldn't you?

I stayed with him for too long anyway - mentally abusive , alcoholic, who would have seen the children hungry before he saw his beer stash empty. Also found out after he'd left he hadn't paid the mortgage for over 4 months or any of the utility bills. Still getting letters for him from debt collection agencies - returning them unopened!!

Showed his true colours too - ran off to Thailand so he wouldn't have to pay for the divorce or any child maintenance!

Last heard of (prior to divorce being finallised) - Married to a Thai woman - still in Thailand - haven't had any contact with him nor has he even bothered with any of his children - who now say that even if he does turn up like the preverbial bad penny they don't want anything to do with him!

I may be a sad lonley old woman now - but I'm still happier than I was in my marriage and I know my children are better off without the verbal and mental abuse that he used to subject us all too.
 quietheart1968
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 201
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/13/2012 11:10:09 PM
I divorced my husband for domestic violence against me and the kids. I dated him from the time I was 15 and was married to him for 20 years. Best decision I ever made. I have sole custody/guardianship of the kids, and I don't cry myself to sleep any more. He still wants me to take him back, and he still wears his wedding ring after 2 1/2 years. Never in a million years would I take him back. Don't hate him, not bitter, not angry... just 100% done. :-)
 Devilsfan58
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 203
view profile
History
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/14/2012 8:56:22 AM

Then WHY for the love of God did you start dating them and get married in the first place!!!


I can't speak for all but in a lot of cases we try and get counseling and be a good soldier for the cause. 4 or 5 marriage counselings and psychologists just do not treat addictions the same. For example if you say X drinks 12-30 cans of beer or hard liquor a night most of us would agree that person has a problem. However if your female in the cases I presented it was always "Oh she is a SAHM"...OR "Oh she has small children to raise...blah...blah blah. The fact of the matter is if the person is a male they won't hesitate to say the person is an alcoholic.

I have a long suspician that depression does not show up until after women have for the most part who were normal had two children. I have seen this repeated 4 or 5 times. Person was normal and after the birth of that second child....Standby...houston we have a problem.

With the legal system the way it is so biased in the USA as a male your better to keep them. They can be the most lousy person in the world but the way it usually works out is she gets the kids, house...blah...blah...and the male has to finance her lifestyle. I even had my female attorney tell me not to file. Now mind you there were workarounds so that it wouldn't look like I was the ogre male putting some helpless 40 plus year old female out on the street.

I'll also add that for the most part you really do not have any rights as a spouse with regard to treatment of your spouse. So I'll give you a example. Patient has a complaint goes to Doctor. Doctor asks the routine questions for example. Do you smoke?.Sometimes....She is/was a two pack a day smoker. Do you drink and howmuch? Occassionally... a couple. A couple is everyday and 30 cans. He prescribes her Valium or similar drug. You try to talk to him advising what it is doing and they don't want to hear it. So you go home and try and protect the children and worry about if and when she is going to Karen Ann Quinlan herself.

I certainly wasn't a saint and I guess had my fair share in the demise. But I was working two full time jobs plus overtime working for 2 fortune 50 companies plus doing all the dental, medical appointments, sports...etc for the children.

We got her into a 30 day treatment program and she came home and immediately went out drinking saying that even the counselors said she did not have a problem. Well the Superior Court Judge ordered you there thought you did but that is a whole nother can of worms.

:devil
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 204
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/15/2012 4:17:14 PM

Is my life better now and did I finally see him for the man is truly is? Absolutely...Did I f*ck up too? Yep....Will I ever do that again? NopeIs my life better now and did I finally see him for the man is truly is? Absolutely...Did I f*ck up too? Yep....Will I ever do that again? Nope


^^quoted post...


Because they're too stupid to know any better. When it didnt work out, guess who got ALL the blame for it? the man. Notice how they didnt happen to mention THEIR responsibility/fault for the dissolving marriage either?


^^immediate response to above post..


I am slightly confused... how does "did I f*ck up too? Yep, will I do that again.. Nope" admitted immediately before his rant somehow equate to the man getting all the blame for it and her being another example of someone not mentioning their responsibility like all the rest of us women.

What part of someone admitting "I f*cked up too" is being completely unable to take responsibility; and then going on to insult her stupidity and calling her and the rest of us who had failed relationships dolts...

Maybe just the teeniest bit prejudice and cynical over there? :)
 aero86
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 205
Why did you get divorced?
Posted: 5/15/2012 5:53:40 PM
well, because after 4 years of being the only one trying to make it work.. it was over. oh, and the selfishness and the infidelity..
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