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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?      Home login  
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 funky_phantom
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 76
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?Page 4 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

Malestrome; You are confused. Am I capable of speaking english literature?? I'm sure that's not what you meant to say. Decent women wouldn't even have me? What on earth are you talking about and have you even read what this thread is about??


Ummm..is ANYBODY capable of "speaking English literature?"
 eschec mat
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 77
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/4/2009 10:53:05 AM
Ummm..is ANYBODY capable of "speaking English literature?"
I competed in speaking competitions with English literature, does that count

I do find it ironic that a married woman looking for a man came to your (Malestrome's) defense.

Malestrome I have read your posts and you have had multiple reasons for never being close to a woman to marry one. Being a nice/good guy was one such post I remember. I do think you may be intimidated by women period because of being raised with so many. I don't get paid for this, so I know I could be wrong.

I also think that women, and I don't say all women, dress, wear makeup, etc. to please themselves. I know I do. Perhaps it is a bit of a mask to the world, but to the right man, he sees beyond it and doesn't use it as an excuse not to get to know me. To me it sounds like these things intimidate you, give you an excuse not to get to know someone. Label them as wanting you to buy their affection.

Maybe it is just me, but I try to be as happy with myself as possible. I try to enjoy everyone's diversity. And as I am human, I do get intimidated by certain people. We can only be the best we can and accept our flaws and improve on those we can.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 78
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/4/2009 12:04:54 PM
Levi, I alway appreciate your insight into things.

Op, I dont think older men are intimidated at all, I just think they don't think the fluff is worth the effort. They are at a point in their life where *other things have more meaning that some mindless competition with a woman about sex.

I have the upmost respect for men my age, they arent the same boys of yesterday, they have matured and have vast life experiences to draw on. They have worked hard and played hard and have a different mindset that most women. Most have lived with a woman for years where they were always in the *wrong cause they didnt have the exact same take on something as what their women did, most would give in and let the woman have her way to make her happy.

Now they find themselves alone and well alone is better than being with the wrong person...so when they see a woman who is protraying herself as strong willed, confident and sexy they just think...to much effort for the fluff....they want someone who will allow them to be WHO they are now...who will want them for what they bring to the relationship not someone who they have to constantly feed the ego of.

Im not saying all men are like this but the ones I would be attracted to are. Now given that there are more women than men, and some women are very eagar to do anything to have a shot at a man ...well I think alot of men are just bored with the different antics of most women....sure they would love to find someone who is still sane, happy, energetic and FUN. But they would prefer to be alone than have someone else come into their lifes and tell them how wrong they are or how they should change.
 LdyofIndy
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 79
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/4/2009 1:02:56 PM
Hey! You're the one who used the term english literature incorrectly. Now it's someone else who has a substandard education? You know what? You have issues that cannot even be addressed in this forum. And then you do overkill by posting words and meanings to convince yourself that we need a lesson in english. Good turn around tactic, but doesn't change the fact that you have used several words incorrectly.
Have fun convincing yourself that you are a superior person.

Would be nice if we could get back on topic. Wow!
 eschec mat
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 80
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/4/2009 1:05:24 PM
Malestrome English lesson, look up irony. I did not bash her. I pointed out the irony in the person you claim has your back. Obviously my statement was pretty dead on. Sorry I intimidated you I was trying to help you to look at yourself so that perhaps you won't judge and will perhaps be more open to having a true relationship with a woman, unless someone else is correct that your sexual preference really is for men?
 TheNightowl001
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 81
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/4/2009 2:18:52 PM

....sure they would love to find someone who is still sane, happy, energetic and FUN. But they would prefer to be alone than have someone else come into their lifes and tell them how wrong they are or how they should change.
That was a bullseye, as far as I'm concerned, Sapphire. If I'd wanted to listen to another 20 years of "You shouldn't...," "You need to..., " "You'd better...," "How come you can't...?" I'd have stayed with my ex.
 HDspringer09
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 82
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/4/2009 4:53:58 PM
Never mind us old farts being intimidated by sexy women...how about intelligent, educated women?

Speak english lit? Well, according to my education (which may fall short of some others here) literature is the collection of written word, not the spoken word, and not a language to be spoken. The word "English" is always capitalized.

"Picky, picky" some may say. But, the only way to have an intelligent conversation or debate is to use our language correctly, to eliminate any misunderstandings.

Showing your lack of grammatical skills shows so much more! For example, a short attention span ( fell asleep in fourth grade a lot, huh?)....a lack of attention to important details (hmmm.....capital here? who cares??).... and most importantly on this site, a lack of communication skills! After all, we are here to communicate with those we might wish to pursue, aren't we? And if we can not express ourselves in the language of the land, what kind of person might we attract?

Okay, after my diatribe on correct grammar, I need to relate it to the topic...and yes, there is a way to do that.

Men are often intimidated by "older sexy women", but not necessarily by their physical sexuality. A woman that is my age can intimidate by not only her "sexual attractiveness", but also by her intelligence, confidence, accomplishments, or status in society.

I'm just an ol' hillbilly redneck, living in a shack in the woods. Am I intimidated by a woman (older or younger) who has a corporate job, a fantastic condo, and travels the world? Of course I am, to some extent. That is all part of their sexuality. A confident woman exudes "sexy", whether she is a corporate executive, or a maid, whether she is a slim 120 pounds, or a fully packed 300.

Do they make me feel like I am not a man? No....they just make me feel that I am not THE man for them.
 2 if by sea
Joined: 12/21/2008
Msg: 83
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/4/2009 9:30:33 PM
Well said, HD, and spot on, it’s an English term, said by the English, in England, yeah, I’ve been there. Don’t count us out; I don’t need anybody to by me a car, or a house, or jewelry, put money in my IRA. Got all that, what we want is someone to hang out with, make breakfast for on Sunday morning, go to the movies with, share ourselves with, our experiences with and have some fun. Sex is good too! When all is said and done, the majority of older women don’t need you to do anything for us, except appreciate us for who we are and what we have to offer. Maybe that’s the problem, men need to be needed, and as we get older, we don’t need you, but still want you.

Now on to the other matter: Or what’s the matter with Maelstrome?
MAELSTROM (correct spelling)
1: a powerful often violent whirlpool sucking in objects within a given radius
2: something resembling a maelstrom in turbulence

You have some serious issues with women, and if therapy is something you recommend to others perhaps you should seek some. You’re an arrogant Richard,
(Everybody, think about it…what is the nickname for Richard? No its not Rick or Rich, it starts with a “D”).

Maybe you don’t have good experiences with women because we can inherently sense that you don’t think much of us as a whole, or maybe that’s exactly how you think of us,… as a hole.
I'm just saying...
 LdyofIndy
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 84
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 3:52:15 AM
You make some good points. Maybe they are intimidated by sexy younger women. I can only speak for myself, from my view point. That happens to be from my experiences as a woman in her 60's. There are always insecure people, both men and women, who will be intimidated by the opposite sex, period.

HD, very interesting comments. It was definitely not smart on my part to follow suit by failing to capitalize English. Maybe I was intimidated by his imagined intelligence.
I stand corrected. Thanks for pointing that out!
 HDspringer09
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 85
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 6:43:01 AM
This same topic seems to be running in another thread, about being attracted to people our own age. The same people are expressing the same views in both threads!
Miss Alana, in my opinion, you are wrong in this thread, and in the other, also, with this statement...


<div class="quote">Most older men get stuck in time and are only attracted to much younger women. But, many of the young women don't want older men, therefore most old men don't date at all

If older men like me don't date at all, it's not because they are rejected by younger women...it's because they are rejected by younger AND older women, who prefer younger guys!

Look at the profiles! The majority of women who specify an age range for men they might be willing to hear from, generally go from ten to fifteen years younger, to only a couple of years older. I have looked at many profiles of very attractive women my age (62) only to be stopped short by the "45 - 60" age specs. And to quote one..."I don't want a grandpa!"
 LdyofIndy
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 86
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 7:12:21 AM
Actually there are three recent threads running on the topic of age. One was started 5/19, the other (this one) 0n 5/30 and one on 6/4. Must be a popular concern.

I don't agree with what Alana is saying in all cases. That's not the sense I've gotten from men in my experiences. Again, I think we post from our own experiences. In my original post, I didn't imply that older men are going for much younger women. That was brought up by another poster. I agree that it's true in some cases.

In all fairness, some younger women prefer older men.

Again I will say that sometimes older women have no choice but to go for the younger men or remain dateless , therefore with no hope of a new relationship.

So, it's a vicious circle. Women accusing men of wanting younger. Men accusing women of wanting younger. And never the twain shall meet.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 87
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 7:24:20 AM
TruGold said:
Again I will say that sometimes older women have no choice but to go for the younger men or remain dateless , therefore with no hope of a new relationship.

Indeed there seems to be a whole lot of younger men early 40's wanting to date you than people your own age. So you just pass on dating them. I can't say that hope ever dies though?

thecatmeoww
 LdyofIndy
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 88
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 7:34:06 AM
Malestrome, in all fairness, you started that trend in this thread by your statement about others having a "substandard education." So naturally, we expect perfection from you in that area. It was you who cast the first stone. You know what they say about people who live in glass houses.

I still have no idea of what you were trying to say with your "english literature" remark.
To me, that was the biggest gaff. You refuse to even own up to that one.


Thecatsmeoww: I'm perfectly happy dating younger men, but not that young. I get my share of offers from men in their late 40's and 50's, so I can't complain. I'm very picky, regardless of the age of the man. Many other factors apply.
 breath~
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 89
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 7:34:42 AM

Just give me an "older man" who is relaxed in who he is.. and wants to relax alongside me.

The 'sexy' part will show through our eyes.. and then seen by him and seen by me.

p.s.
I think it's a bit pitiful that some people come to the forums and spend a great deal of their posts going on and on about how they think other people need therapy.


 caddboy
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 90
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 8:58:13 AM

Maybe they are intimidated by sexy younger women.


I'm not so sure about this. When I was in Cabo a couple of weeks ago there were a lot of men my age that must have been travelling with their daughters. haha
 ds444
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 91
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Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 11:06:47 AM

Look at the profiles! The majority of women who specify an age range for men they might be willing to hear from, generally go from ten to fifteen years younger, to only a couple of years older. I have looked at many profiles of very attractive women my age (62) only to be stopped short by the "45 - 60" age specs. And to quote one..."I don't want a grandpa!"


HDspringer09, perhaps you would like me find it illuminating to see a table that listed the minimum and maximum age specification averages across all profiles. Segregated by gender and age. For example:

Age = age of person in profile
Min = minimum age for a match
Max = maximum age for a match

Females
Age Min Max
25 22.6 35.3
26 25.1 36.6
...

Males
Age Min Max
25 19.6 31.3
26 20.1 31.6
...

No doubt some admin could come up with such a report and we would not have t0 speculate. But what would be the fun in that?
 breath~
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 92
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 1:24:59 PM
edit:
totally not worth the effort

But ON TOPIC... I can see where *some* men may just not want to 'deal with' someone they *may* see as high maintenance?

Let's remember, though, that "sexy" has a different definition to each person. ~smile~
 Lisee55
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 93
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 7:54:58 PM
I'm flattered by the attention I get from younger men, but not interested. I find I have far more in common with men in my age group and that's pretty important to me.

I think that secure older men, (men my age), are not intimidated by older women. On the other hand, insecure men of any age, are intimidated by confident, well adjusted women of any age.

Insecure or intimidated individuals often manifest their feelings by striking out and attempting to belittle others. It's sad to see.
 marty09
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 94
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Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:33:02 PM
I could never understand why it is younger think they have the vitality to attract an "older woman. " I find that maurity years of experience, a mature sense of humor and the way a woamn carries herself is sexy. An older woman, doesn't have to pretend she can and usually does speak her mind. If an older man can't deal with that, he simply has issues that he needs to resolve. Problem resolution does not desciminate--It can and does happen to both young and old.
 marty09
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 95
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Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:48:56 PM
If I had to grip about profile settings...It's not that I don't find women my age sexy at all...It's the travel thing...If I've read it once, I've read it at least twenty times..."I love to travel." give me a woman my age that simply enjoys the surroundings in her own backyard...sort of speaking. Yes, I adore a woman who takes good care of herself. I have seen late forty to early ffity year old woman who would put twenty something's to shame.
There are older men who see these women, then see who their "Fans" are and think they can't compete. I beg to differ. I am 52 in average shape and would make a younger man feel inferior compared to what I can offer an older Sexy woman--Namely, conversation real maturity, affection and true appreciation....Not having to try harder to impress her than an older man would.
 marty09
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 96
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Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:01:05 PM
Proving my point...Thank You. Older women want the companionship of a man their age. Older women who may be attracted to a younger man will soon tire of them because they has no real substance. An older gentleman understands what an older woman is going through...Or should. What I am hearing in most cases is that men period, are being insensitve to the needs of women. You are right about men striking out with verbal attacks bec,ause they feel subpar to women.
Find me aman that does that and I'll point out a man who has control issues.--Ask his ex-wife.
 marty09
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 97
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Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:15:05 PM
Uh Ohhh...No you didn't... LOL I am thank ful for good health and a damn good sex drive...The only problem I run into with women my age is...Ethnicity--"How would I explain this to my adult children or my friends or co-workers? Women ask for intelligence, sense of humor, affection, and a host of other qualities that I have--But they neglect to mention...Not a man of color. I can be a friend...An E-Talk partner but not a serious relationship partner. Hmmmm...What's up with that...I wonder?
 marty09
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 98
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Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:25:46 PM
Now I just looked at your profile, and see that you are indeed a very attractive woman who would blow a younger woman out of the water. You have a wonderful sense of worth a sense of humor and know what you are looking for in a man and stating it with as much simplicity as possible. Would a younger man be able to fit that bill...I think not. Would an older man understand exactly what you were saying and be able to know what, taking things slow meant...Yea. But at our age we already know what we are looking for and when an older man finds or sees that woman, he will generally either ease into it or go for what he wants. Women have to understand tha if they stiffle an older man, he just may move on.
 LdyofIndy
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 99
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/6/2009 5:06:08 AM
Marty; I don't know who you're speaking about because I don't have a picture up, but in any case, it's very nice to see comments from a 52 year old man who is well adjusted, secure, comfortable in his own skin and very self confident. As are most of the men I've met in your age category. I see any number of pictures on here of attractive 50 something women.

No problem understanding what you're saying! Ethnicity can be a deal breaker for some. Being a woman of color who usually dates across racial lines, I'm well aware of that. But it hasn't been a problem for me. It's not everyone's thing, so most of my dates, relationships are usually with men I meet in the real world who can see me face to face even before approaching me. On dating sites, I never contact men first, so they already know my ethnicity before contacting me.

As for traveling, I look for men who are already living in my area.

Anyway, great comments!
 widowsdesire
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 100
Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/6/2009 5:57:39 AM

I'm flattered by the attention I get from younger men, but not interested. I find I have far more in common with men in my age group and that's pretty important to me.

I think that secure older men, (men my age), are not intimidated by older women. On the other hand, insecure men of any age, are intimidated by confident, well adjusted women of any age.


Lisee55 you hit the nail right on the head here. I can't count the number of younger men that contacted me before I met my current boyfriend. I always responded to them thank you for the attention, but I am not interested. I would have trouble carrying on a conversation with someone from a generation. I prefer being with someone who experienced the same era in history.

I also agree that a secure older man is not going to be intimidated by a sexy older woman. In fact they will be drawn to her confidence, her intelligence, her attitude.
I have both an MD and a PhD degree. A man who is secure in himself is not going to give two hoots about my education. He will approach me if he is attracted to me regardless of our educatonal differences. This level of self confidence is very very attractive to me. Likewise, a secure older man (ie. my age) will not be intimidated by me regardless of how sexy I am. I would much rather have the attention of a confident mature man, than the attention of a confident younger one.

And if the intimidation fact revolves around an ED issue, which can affect as many as 50% of the men in my generation, I am even more impressed by a man who is willing to be honest about his issues. Men who will approach a sexy older woman, (who is sexy because , duh, she is a sexual being and enjoys her sexuality because of/in spite of her age) even if they have performance issues, obviously feel the risk of rejection is worth taking because of the benefit of the reward (the attention of a sexy older woman). I find their confidence ( self esteem) is grounded in what they have to offer outside of the bedroom, and this impresses me. Considering that statistically speaking the act of intercourse (by published studies) lasts between 3 minutes and 12 minutes, I am far more concerned with how that man is going to occupy my time for the remaining 23 hours and 48 minutes of the day. (and yes, I am one of those sexy older women)
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