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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > his credit card declined when he went to pay?      Home login  
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 Dwayne2010
Joined: 4/19/2009
Msg: 51
his credit card declined when he went to pay?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Personally, I think you should give the guy the beenfit of the doubt that he had no idea his card would be declined. In this day and age of credit disaster, lee way should be given. Your assuming that he 'knew' his card would be declined before you went out!
 TheModernPagan
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 52
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/14/2009 9:01:34 AM
Women want to be treated as equals

Not true, women like you want to be treated as equals in the work place then princesses in your love life. If you like the guy and the worst thing that happens is you end up paying for luch/dinner... whats the problem ? Same old same old with the double standard, if the man does not pay he's a gold digger, if the women does not pay well thats ok because its the mans job. But if a man gets a position in the workplace over a women its sexist and unfair. Make up your minds ladies, level the playing field or shut up, you cant have both.
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 53
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/14/2009 9:08:47 PM
^^^ Wow alot of truth there in that post. But we all know ladies will come out with the guns a blazin saying some shie to justify crap.
Too many men over the deacades have given into women's demands all for what? Pu$$y!! Sad how sex can be used as a weapon to get what you want.
The old double standard is so true.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 54
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/14/2009 9:14:12 PM

But if a man gets a position in the workplace over a women its sexist and unfair. Make up your minds ladies, level the playing field or shut up, you cant have both.

Ha ha, you mean sort of like men who hate feminist theory -- except when it suits their dating theory?

We're all the same, only different, huh?
 Lisi7
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 55
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/15/2009 9:39:25 PM
I agree with you about this guy.
 Lisi7
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 56
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/15/2009 9:40:38 PM
You are a big liar. You have nothing else better to do but make stories up about this OP.
 repair-guy
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 57
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:36:07 AM
Find someone who can afford to use you.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 58
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:59:20 PM

I got stuck paying for a $30+ lunch not knowing he wasnt going to be able to pay for it. (we're both over 30, and have jobs, he makes more than me)

I didnt see the server come back with the response when they ran his card, but do you think this was just a way to get out of paying? I doubt it though beacuse every time I see him out, he is always drinking water. I like water too but its almost like he has no ability to do anything with his visa card. He doesnt carry cash. I feel like he should have said something beforehand that he couldn't pay.

Next time I talk with this guy I"m going to say that we can't go anywhere that you arent at least prepared for some of the time, because I can't be stuck with the bill every time. This happened only once, but I can't be having it happen as a regular habit. I understand that we are all on budgets and maybe we can work something out where we do things that aren't so expensive maybe.

Ideas?


I think you're right for being upset. Mainly because he had to have known he wasn't going to be able to pay before he got there and said nothing to you about the fact.

If I am reading you right, your issue wasn't with him not being "able" to pay as much as it is he HID the fact that wasn't able to pay from you. That's almost the same as lying.

He should have "man'ed" up and told you from the start that he was tight on money. I am sure you would have either suggested you'd take care of it or you would have suggested doing something else, no?

I was in a similar situation very recently. Met a wonderful woman, asker her to coffee but felt so comfortable with her that I upgraded the coffee to a dinner date (first meeting). I was in a rush to get there and for the first time in my life - well my adult life - I ran out of my place and actually left my wallet laying on the counter! I didn't realize it till I got there about was about to walk through the door. She was already waiting. I have never felt so humilated in my all my life, so totally embarassed. I appologized and told her straight up... I told her to relax, go ahead and order and that I'd be right back. After speeding home to get my wallet I retuned and we ended up having an exception night of great conversation and fun. I thought for sure I'd had blown it. But, she was down to earth and reasonable enough that she took it in stride and we laughed it off.

My point is I was honest with her and told her of my mistake right when I realized it - I didn't wait till the check came to pull a fast one her. I'd rather have washed dishes than to have put her in that position, it wasn't fair to her and it sure as hell wasn't fair to you for this guy to have held back somethign he KNEW from the very start of the lunch date.

Honesty goes a long long way... Yet people still treat it like a disease and avoid it. Amazes me... really amazes me.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 59
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/16/2009 11:06:42 PM
^^^ I don't think the OP is upset about having to pay (unless I misread). I think she's more upset about the fact he kept that he was unable to pay from her - instead of just being upfont about it.
 sktea
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 60
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/19/2009 6:54:14 PM

The check comes and the guy says he left his wallet at home. I told the waiter it would be separate checks.


Well done!
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 61
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:01:19 PM
Geek Goddess I think you should be holding seminars in teaching women today this.
You are a rare gem for sure.
 gtrr43
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 62
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/14/2010 8:48:58 AM
It happens,people make mistakes,If there going on a first date ,it should be dutch anyway.
 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 63
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/14/2010 9:16:56 AM
Just ask him. If he claims he is not having any financial difficulties than he has no excuse for not at least going dutch.

If he sticks you with the bill again, pay your half in front of the serving staff so they know you are not the welcher and walk away leaving him to deal with the consequences of not being able to pay for his half.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 64
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/15/2010 2:11:35 PM
State what your expectations are before going out- that's really all you can do, as well as being prepared to pay in case things like this happen.
I had a guy forget his wallet on a first date. He had already told me he wanted to buy me dinner. I got to the restaurant and he was at the bar drinking water looking a bit mortified. He told me up front and I could tell he was sincere. We simply enjoyed the meal and I paid. He reciprocated a dinner later in the week and I thought that was a nice gesture.

Maybe he was using a debit card. Mine has a daily limit and I found that out the hard way, and no way to call the bank to raise the daily limit until the next day.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 65
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/18/2010 12:18:41 AM
I don't see what the big deal is? So you had to pay for lunch.So what! It's not like he wanted you to buy him a car.You are just looking for an excuse to get rid of him.
 sexyisback!
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 66
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/18/2010 8:26:18 AM

I had the similar situation before. It was not his credit card; it was his debit card got declined. I was VP for banks before, so I know what was going on here. Amazing! I felt more embarrassed than him. After it happened twice in one week, I dumped him. There is no need to waste time on a man who can not manage his finance in any age. It does not matter how good looking he is… Don’t deal anyone who has no integrity


POSSIBLY you are maing assumptionsif it happened only ONCE? OK if twice or more , I can se it.

I've had my debit card declined at a restaurant, sort of embarrassing, (but I had enough cash with me, & paid) then went to a store immediately after and bought $60 worth of stuff & it worked just fine -- I KNEW I had a much more than adequate balance in my account.

the next day I talked to the restaurant guy & he said:" Oh yeah we had a problem with the machine/connection"

these technologies are NOT always 100% reliable.
 fashiongal2
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 67
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/19/2010 9:38:53 PM
First time this happened, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. My credit / debit card has been declined before due to unknown reasons. Some people don't carry much cash on them.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 68
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/21/2010 6:58:42 AM
So your instincts are right, and he admitted that it wasn't embarrassing for him to not be able to even pay his half, and that his last girlfriend would pay for everything. So yah, he's cheap and possibly even dishonest about ever intending to pay. So you were right in suspecting something after going out with him several times, and him never paying. My question now, is why do you keep going out with him? Even if he does bring cash now to be able to cover his half, just his inclination to try and let you pay all the time is a red flag. A guy looking for a sugar mama is not going to be someone who will even wind up being a good friend, nevermind a boyfriend. Sounds sleazy.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 69
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/21/2010 7:23:06 AM
The fact that the OP has experienced this with this guy multiple times already tells me that he is just doing this nonsense on purpose.


Why cant he even pay for his half?

Seems strange.
 tinainhouston39
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 70
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/21/2010 2:43:57 PM
Hahahah I agree with you! Not sure what the point of talking to him about it is at all. Clearly your thinking evil thoughts about him and typing them for all of us to see...lol What's the point of even pursuing it?? I can see you have little respect now for this man. That's fine I guess...it's your dating life...but don't do HIM a favor by lecturing him and gracing him with your presents. I think he might not hold the same value system as you do and you two are not prob going to go very far. Respect should be on the forefront of every relationship...do him a favor and drop him....he prob isn't going to like how that whole conversation goes if you ever decide to have it with him instead of all of us :) A little food for thought...some people test others to see how selfish/money hungry they are. Since he paid several times before then it would have been a show of grace for you to pick that one up.
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 71
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/24/2010 12:16:01 PM
I always carry cash, credit cards are very bad and will never have one (so shoot me). If I invite someone out, then I am responsible for paying in my book. That includes if I ask friends (male or female) out for a night an they tell me they are broke, me and my friends have done this for each other on numerous occasions. as far as inviting a woman to dinner or what have you, my mother would come up out of the grave and get me (LOL) if I did not pick up the tab, dutch is out of the question if I am out with a woman of interest.

OP Obviously money is at the forefront with you. You seem to feel pretty miffed over a $ 30.00 tab, the way you are ranting, one would think you blew a thousand dollars on him. I would suggest if you feel so used, type up a bill and present it to him with the appropriate interest rate (the juice), and once he pays, move on, he is obviously not the "Sugar Daddy" in which you are seeking.

One cannot help but wonder if a man had started this thread about a girl that asked him out and he had to pay because her card was declined. Oh my, dare I ponder what the threads would read. LOL


At the end of the day, you are not happy, you have no respect for this man. The seed is already in your brain that he is a cheap, a mooch, deadbeat, etc..... There is but one choice for you and that is to move on. As far as he goes, he could be no luckier than to be rid of you and your self serving ways.


Note to Self: Do not drink water in fromt of women. FOFLMAO
 cenomeno
Joined: 4/21/2010
Msg: 72
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/25/2010 8:19:57 AM

This happened only once


OP wow! so you had to pay 30 bucks ( prob half of it was your share anyway).... All this fuss ..hmm. What a cheap woman you're.... Many people don't carry cash but check cards. These cards decline for many reasons other than "insufficient funds"

I hope he never calls you, you never see him again and get stuck with 15 dolla hole .... Jeezuz krist
 ncdamsel
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 73
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/29/2010 8:25:08 PM
I say ditch him, find some one else, it is not worth all the worry with this guy
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 74
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/29/2010 11:38:45 PM

I got stuck paying for a $30+ lunch


the f..king gaul?

how dare such a thing happen...

i mean everyone these days truly wants a free ride...just for us gracing them with our mere presence...



this is classic.
 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 75
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/30/2010 12:49:48 PM

Why is he even socializing if he truly has no money at all?


This statement pretty much told me everything I need to know about you and your way of life.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > his credit card declined when he went to pay?