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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > his credit card declined when he went to pay?      Home login  
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 sktea
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 126
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

The check comes and the guy says he left his wallet at home. I told the waiter it would be separate checks.


Well done!
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 127
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:01:19 PM
Geek Goddess I think you should be holding seminars in teaching women today this.
You are a rare gem for sure.
 kdkutie1
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 128
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/22/2009 4:00:14 PM
Do not go out with this guy again. He didn't care enough to plan ahead by at least checking his balance or going to the ATM. He will continue to be working from behind as long as you know him.
 gtrr43
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 129
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/14/2010 8:48:58 AM
It happens,people make mistakes,If there going on a first date ,it should be dutch anyway.
 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 130
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/14/2010 9:16:56 AM
Just ask him. If he claims he is not having any financial difficulties than he has no excuse for not at least going dutch.

If he sticks you with the bill again, pay your half in front of the serving staff so they know you are not the welcher and walk away leaving him to deal with the consequences of not being able to pay for his half.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 131
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/15/2010 2:11:35 PM
State what your expectations are before going out- that's really all you can do, as well as being prepared to pay in case things like this happen.
I had a guy forget his wallet on a first date. He had already told me he wanted to buy me dinner. I got to the restaurant and he was at the bar drinking water looking a bit mortified. He told me up front and I could tell he was sincere. We simply enjoyed the meal and I paid. He reciprocated a dinner later in the week and I thought that was a nice gesture.

Maybe he was using a debit card. Mine has a daily limit and I found that out the hard way, and no way to call the bank to raise the daily limit until the next day.
 MisterDynomite
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 132
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/15/2010 3:33:58 PM

but do you think this was just a way to get out of paying?


The only person that really has an answer for that is him. We don't know if he really didn't know or if he did...

what you DO know is that you can tell him before the next date to bring cash so that option of you "paying for everything" is eliminated and nipped in the bud before you two go out next time. (if there IS a "next time")

 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 133
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/16/2010 3:50:21 AM
I've had something like that happen. Something went awry with the magnetic strip in the back of the card and it was rejected.
I also heard a rumor that cell phones, in close contact to credit cards can affect the strip.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 134
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/18/2010 12:18:41 AM
I don't see what the big deal is? So you had to pay for lunch.So what! It's not like he wanted you to buy him a car.You are just looking for an excuse to get rid of him.
 sexyisback!
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 135
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/18/2010 8:26:18 AM

I had the similar situation before. It was not his credit card; it was his debit card got declined. I was VP for banks before, so I know what was going on here. Amazing! I felt more embarrassed than him. After it happened twice in one week, I dumped him. There is no need to waste time on a man who can not manage his finance in any age. It does not matter how good looking he is… Don’t deal anyone who has no integrity


POSSIBLY you are maing assumptionsif it happened only ONCE? OK if twice or more , I can se it.

I've had my debit card declined at a restaurant, sort of embarrassing, (but I had enough cash with me, & paid) then went to a store immediately after and bought $60 worth of stuff & it worked just fine -- I KNEW I had a much more than adequate balance in my account.

the next day I talked to the restaurant guy & he said:" Oh yeah we had a problem with the machine/connection"

these technologies are NOT always 100% reliable.
 fashiongal2
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 136
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/19/2010 9:38:53 PM
First time this happened, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. My credit / debit card has been declined before due to unknown reasons. Some people don't carry much cash on them.
 Lukeios
Joined: 6/1/2009
Msg: 137
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/20/2010 12:06:51 AM
So? Discreetly bring it up with him if it matters so much to you. Studies that are used to establish fact from fiction use sample sizes of thousands of cases to prove their point. This guy busted out his credit/debit card and found himself in an embarassing situation just once. No one is going to come to any rational conclusion on this guy.

 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 138
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/21/2010 6:58:42 AM
So your instincts are right, and he admitted that it wasn't embarrassing for him to not be able to even pay his half, and that his last girlfriend would pay for everything. So yah, he's cheap and possibly even dishonest about ever intending to pay. So you were right in suspecting something after going out with him several times, and him never paying. My question now, is why do you keep going out with him? Even if he does bring cash now to be able to cover his half, just his inclination to try and let you pay all the time is a red flag. A guy looking for a sugar mama is not going to be someone who will even wind up being a good friend, nevermind a boyfriend. Sounds sleazy.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 139
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/21/2010 7:23:06 AM
The fact that the OP has experienced this with this guy multiple times already tells me that he is just doing this nonsense on purpose.


Why cant he even pay for his half?

Seems strange.
 tinainhouston39
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 140
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/21/2010 2:43:57 PM
Hahahah I agree with you! Not sure what the point of talking to him about it is at all. Clearly your thinking evil thoughts about him and typing them for all of us to see...lol What's the point of even pursuing it?? I can see you have little respect now for this man. That's fine I guess...it's your dating life...but don't do HIM a favor by lecturing him and gracing him with your presents. I think he might not hold the same value system as you do and you two are not prob going to go very far. Respect should be on the forefront of every relationship...do him a favor and drop him....he prob isn't going to like how that whole conversation goes if you ever decide to have it with him instead of all of us :) A little food for thought...some people test others to see how selfish/money hungry they are. Since he paid several times before then it would have been a show of grace for you to pick that one up.
 Lil Brooker
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 141
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/22/2010 9:28:32 PM

You think I should be paying his way every time and wining and dining the guy?

HELLO! Every time? You are describing one incident. In this case you should have paid for the bill (of which you incurred half), in a manner that would save face for him. If it occurs a second time, know that he's a mooch and bow out of any future dates.
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 142
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/24/2010 12:16:01 PM
I always carry cash, credit cards are very bad and will never have one (so shoot me). If I invite someone out, then I am responsible for paying in my book. That includes if I ask friends (male or female) out for a night an they tell me they are broke, me and my friends have done this for each other on numerous occasions. as far as inviting a woman to dinner or what have you, my mother would come up out of the grave and get me (LOL) if I did not pick up the tab, dutch is out of the question if I am out with a woman of interest.

OP Obviously money is at the forefront with you. You seem to feel pretty miffed over a $ 30.00 tab, the way you are ranting, one would think you blew a thousand dollars on him. I would suggest if you feel so used, type up a bill and present it to him with the appropriate interest rate (the juice), and once he pays, move on, he is obviously not the "Sugar Daddy" in which you are seeking.

One cannot help but wonder if a man had started this thread about a girl that asked him out and he had to pay because her card was declined. Oh my, dare I ponder what the threads would read. LOL


At the end of the day, you are not happy, you have no respect for this man. The seed is already in your brain that he is a cheap, a mooch, deadbeat, etc..... There is but one choice for you and that is to move on. As far as he goes, he could be no luckier than to be rid of you and your self serving ways.


Note to Self: Do not drink water in fromt of women. FOFLMAO
 cenomeno
Joined: 4/21/2010
Msg: 143
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/25/2010 8:19:57 AM

This happened only once


OP wow! so you had to pay 30 bucks ( prob half of it was your share anyway).... All this fuss ..hmm. What a cheap woman you're.... Many people don't carry cash but check cards. These cards decline for many reasons other than "insufficient funds"

I hope he never calls you, you never see him again and get stuck with 15 dolla hole .... Jeezuz krist
 pitufina_77
Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 144
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/25/2010 9:33:07 AM
I've had my card declined at a supermarket because the strip was scratched. Everybody thought the worse, I knew it was a technical reason.

I was embarrased, because people do think the worse. Still, I had more than enough money in my account...
 ncdamsel
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 145
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/29/2010 8:25:08 PM
I say ditch him, find some one else, it is not worth all the worry with this guy
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 146
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/29/2010 11:38:45 PM

I got stuck paying for a $30+ lunch


the f..king gaul?

how dare such a thing happen...

i mean everyone these days truly wants a free ride...just for us gracing them with our mere presence...



this is classic.
 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 147
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/30/2010 12:49:48 PM

Why is he even socializing if he truly has no money at all?


This statement pretty much told me everything I need to know about you and your way of life.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 148
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/30/2010 1:13:22 PM

As to the rest of it. Cards are turned downed for a number of reasons, it doesn't always mean they don't have money. It can be just a fluke in the system. I have ran cards, had them turned down, ran them again, and had them go through with no problem

Sure, but when paying with a credit card and being in a position where having it turned down would be a problem, one should have enough cash on hand to cover such an emergency.

As to you paying. I find your attitude amazing. You are all freaked out that you had to pay, but if he had paid for all of it, that would have been fine

That's a different question and I also am put off by her attitude. Had I been in a situation where someone was supposed to be paying for my meal and her credit card was turned down, I'd most likely try to cover it without making her feel any more embarrassed than she already was. I think what she did after that would let me know whether or not I was being conned.
 pirateheaven
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 149
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his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 9/30/2010 4:52:39 PM

I was prepared. Who said I wasnt prepared? I was the only one that came with a way to pay, apparently. It could have just been a coincidence that he couldn't that time. Like I said, its only happened once. But really its less about the money and more about how he handled it. If he couldn't pay his share, why didnt he say something before we went? That's just wrong. I dont know where anyone is getting these ideas from, but anytime I go out, I always go ready to pay for my half. But not for the whole table with no notice. You think I should be paying his way every time and wining and dining the guy?


This sounds like a situation where a cheap skate man is trapped in a woman's body!

I doubt he did it on purpose. No one wants the embarrassment of having a credit card declined. You said this only happened once, so I'd let it slide. Maybe he didn't offer to repay you because he plans on making it up to you another time. It was a small check, so I don't know why all of the angst involved.

Heck a woman invited me out after me paying the tab dozens of times. When the check came, she looked at me and I said "you invited me, so I guess you are paying." She said " I was afraid of that." and picked up the check by a corner like it was radio active.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 150
his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 10/1/2010 10:43:29 PM
pirate - that is too freakin funny...

i personally like the ones that like to "hold out" for a while, yet expect a free ride.

quid pro quo I always say...

Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > his credit card declined when he went to pay?