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 luvs_history
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 101
He is 32 and lives at home?Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
anyone who tells me they are waiting for a LTR is looking for a replacement dependent other then his folks. They are not loking for love but a suga mama. Most men claim the fall or a few months. but really have no intention of even doing it. Its just a statement to make women like you and I think they actually have initiative. ITs all a joke. can you wait till october .. its only a few months away. but if he doesnt actually go looking at houses before that .. hes got no interest in finding one for himself.

Its up to you. they always sound nice .. until they suggest your place for dinner as a first meeting because they are cheep and dependent.

have fun.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 102
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He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 6/13/2009 9:35:06 AM
^^^^^I agree. The main trait of these guys is they are cheap and moochers.
They are usually very nice and charming. When you are mooching off people as a way of life including your parents, you better have a super nice personality.
 hellgremlin
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 103
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He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 6/13/2009 9:46:10 AM
I'd like to contribute. This will probably kill my chances of getting a date from this site ever again, but what the hell.

I'm 28. I live with my folks. I'm only a bit ashamed.

Most people have a train of priorities, starting in the mid teens. It's get a car > move out > get own house > attract mate > settle down > white picket fence, 2.3 kids, fido. In guys like us, these priorities, these drives are absent. We simply don't care. We're not retarded.

When I was 16, all my classmates rushed off to drivers' ed. I couldn't give a damn. Didn't get my licence until age 21, didn't really start driving or bothered to renew it. Never thought about moving out. It didn't feel like it made sense. I'd just be alone and bored without my folks and my dogs around.

I don't think it's depression or anything that major. Like the fella in the OP, I just never felt the desire to be this go-getter big earner ultrachamp type character. I tend to chase my dreams - I've switched careers from dental technology to journalism, because I'm a pretty awesome writer. I'm saving up money for whatever I feel like spending it on in the future - house, car, whatever. I have saved up enough for both. Right now, those things seem superfluous - trinkets to attach to ourselves to attract mates, sources of stress. Stuff I just don't need.

Another thing I don't need, is the women who have posted here. My god. During our first date, would you secretly slide your cruel beak into my wallet to inspect its contents? Demand I hand over my bank card, so you can check out my balance with the handy card-reader in your purse? It's a good thing creatures like you expose yourselves good and early.
 lets start now!
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 104
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 6/13/2009 10:17:09 AM
i can understand some of the comments here, but how do people know how this guy really is unless you know him? did it occur to anyone maybe this guy pays rent helps his family out. ok i live at home, but i pay rent and for all my things, i never ask a guy for a dime, if i am in a relationship, im 50/50. people judge a guy cause he lives at home, but im sure alot of ;adies here live with thier mom or dad! so i dont understand the criticism here! this man could be a great catch and everyone is talking about him like he is no good, and the person should be ashamed to air out what the guy was very honest to tell you, give him credit! if you like him see what happens. if not let him be and let him find someone who can accept him as he is! and by the way i do my own laundry to! lol
 thadood38
Joined: 5/5/2009
Msg: 105
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 6/13/2009 10:27:47 AM
It was EASIER to go back home? If that doesn't show you he has no ambition whatsoever to strike out on his own and forge his own life, I don't know what could. You were right the first time, dump his ass. His momma will be there to sooth it.

~Justin
 fulibard
Joined: 4/21/2009
Msg: 106
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He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:20:06 PM
^^^^^I agree. The main trait of these guys is they are cheap and moochers.



that blade swings both ways. No one was put on this earth to be the other's personal ATM.

The moochers in my experience are the women that get offended when you dare to suggest that they treat YOU out after you have spent copious amounts of time,expense and effort on them. Or want you to do stuff for them explicitly for the privilege of knowing them.
 ~GoneSailing~
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 107
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:31:10 PM
It's all about judging and perception.

I enjoy having family around me. My sons and my parents. We all live relatively close to each other, although I know families who's residences are closer. We live within a number of miles of each other, in homes built by my grandfather on property settled by my ancestors in the late 1800's. That being said.... my oldest son is in the military and will be away for 6 years. When he returns from serving our country, I would expect they will return to our family's home.

I see nothing wrong with the tradition of families sharing residences.

My great-grandmother lived with my mother's parents until she died. She had a place at the family table, she had a purpose, she had a meaningful role, she was respected and honored and loved. She died in the family's home. Not alone and in a nursing facility.

My autistic son, wishes to marry his autistic girlfriend, they've been together for 7 years and want to be allowed to live as "normal" a life as they may. But to do so, it will mean that someone must share a home with them, to be certain that neither of them is injured in caring for their home and their lives together. Why would it be preferential to hire a caregiver than a family member to share their home while having some independence?

I dated a man recently who was 33, married twice, father of three. His mother - was single, alone and had a huge home. HUGE. HUGE!!!!!!! Why should he pay for a home that he would live in alone - when his mother owned a monstrously large home that he could share - with MORE of his income going toward his children's support and bettering their lives?

I think in all situations there's a legitimate reason, and then there are wastrels who abuse or use something for personal reasons that may not be positive statements of their character.

However, I think immediately judging anyone based only on the superficial and your own perceptions without knowing all the facts? Speaks less highly of you.

You're determining he's a loser based on supposition.
Not facts in evidence.
I wouldn't want you sitting on a jury.

Why do you assume that he wouldn't be able to move out, or interested in moving out? You just met him on POF and you determined all this and decided to not send him an email just because he said he lived with his parents? You did that for a week or more and felt no obligation to wonder if perhaps you'd leaped to the wrong conclusion or made an assumption that wasn't accurate?

Judge not lest you be judged.
 Coma White
Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 108
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/29/2009 11:22:56 PM
You don't build equity by renting. It makes more sense to wait until you can move in with your significant other.
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 109
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/29/2009 11:31:08 PM

32 and still living at home? What's the big deal? I think it's the smartest thing to do.


every one in the car!!!!!!..........................................we are of of butter.
 Janewantstarzan
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 110
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/29/2009 11:36:45 PM
It is obviously a big issue with you.
Commnicate this issue to him if you sincerely like him.
See if he takes steps to get out of the situation.
If not don't go out with him!
 Magnum Speedo
Joined: 10/26/2009
Msg: 111
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 2:03:42 AM
I love it !!!! He is smart. Is it better to live at home at 32 or live in an alley at 45 ? We cant all be rich men and live like Bill Gates . . . . sometimes a place called "Home" is good even if it is not respected by others. Sometimes there are reasons for things . . sometimes they are bad . . laziness . . being a leech and other times cuz they are economically smart or they have parents they love and need their care and other times it is is for 45,897 + other reasons. Can ya deal with it ? Can ya understand ? If the guy has bad reasons . . move on . . if he is doing the right thing then you can support him and understand or chat with him to find out the facts. Geeez . . . if I live in a really big refrigerator box in a great alley with a view and in a good part of town with great dumpsters of food nearby will ya live with me since I am not living at home ? (I hope not . . . hope your better than that) Next question . . if a guy is physically disabled (no legs and only 1 arm with only 2 fingers) or mentally challenged ( a true retard) should he move out when he is 18 years and 23 minutes old ? I just love these forums.
 Brunopolis
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 112
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:59:59 AM
Maybe he just loves his family. I know a lot of people like that.

Also, sometimes people make mistakes and pay for it with massive future debts. I screwed up in college when I was younger by picking a silly career and now I have a ridiculous crushing debt. I couldn't move out because I'd lose like a 1/4 of my wage to that debt on top of any bills I'd have to pay. I would be stuck working at a call center or at a warehouse for the next 10+ years until I paid it off.

Not to mention a lot of people that simply inherit money and don't realize how much it helps. I have countless friends who inherit houses, get their educations paid for(or at least partly), and other benefits. When working full time minimum wage gives you significantly less than 20k a year after you factor in transportation, food, and taxes saving up for an 150k house or paying 25-30k for an education starts to become difficult.

This kind of talk pisses me off as it makes me realize how ridiculous it is to pay for education. I guess Canada can afford not to do it because it just imports the skilled labour it needs from poorer countries.

Posts like make me glad that I left Canada and moved to Uruguay. Sure it may be a third world country but the people are welcoming and the education is free(and actually good).
 lostintheshuffle
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 113
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:34:15 AM
Bruce Wayne was 40 and never moved out of his parents place.
 canoga77
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 114
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He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:43:26 AM
How am I "dissing" him? And how am I a "golddigger"? The man is cheap.
He is a mooch off his mom. He is a little boy inside. He admits it.
What an idiotic thing, to call me a golddigger because I said he is cheap.

This obviously is something that bothers you about him. The question is why. What do you care whether he buys his own soap or not? Do you know everything about his living situation? Maybe he pays rent and does chores around the house. Who are you to judge him? The only reason I can think of why this would concern a woman is because she wants to know how freely he will spend money on her if she was in a relationship with him. In which case, you are a gold digger.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 115
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:57:21 AM
LOL...gotta love the lack of reading comprehension skills in these forums.

The OP is NOT looking for someone to pay her bills. She is NOT a "gold digger" - she has her OWN successful job, house, car and LIFE. I'm so sick of seeing that RIDICULOUS phrase "gold digger" thrown around here everytime someone gets behind a keyboard. Jesus.

The OP's "friend" is NOT living at home to help his parents with rent. He is NOT living at home because he got himself into a financial bind. He is NOT living at home because his parents are elderly and need full-time care.

He's living at home because he's too damned lazy and scared to go out in the world and make it on his OWN - and he so much as TOLD the OP that. The OP said he's passive and shows NO independent traits at all. He's like a frightened little rabbit whose afraid to leave the nest. It has nothing to do with the economy and nothing to do with finances.

It DOES, however, have everything to do with this guy have ZERO life skills. And there's absolutely nothing appealing about that.
 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 116
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:03:04 AM

The OP is NOT looking for someone to pay her bills. She is NOT a "gold digger" - she has her OWN successful job, house, car and LIFE. I'm so sick of seeing that RIDICULOUS phrase "gold digger" thrown around here everytime someone gets behind a keyboard. Jesus.

The OP's "friend" is NOT living at home to help his parents with rent. He is NOT living at home because he got himself into a financial bind. He is NOT living at home because his parents are elderly and need full-time care.

He's living at home because he's too damned lazy and scared to go out in the world and make it on his OWN - and he so much as TOLD the OP that. The OP said he's passive and shows NO independent traits at all. He's like a frightened little rabbit whose afraid to leave the nest. It has nothing to do with the economy and nothing to do with finances.

It DOES, however, have everything to do with this guy have ZERO life skills. And there's absolutely nothing appealing about that. .


Yeppers. It seems like the guy in question just has no ambition.
 Coma White
Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 117
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:14:48 AM
Well with my reading skills, I read on the original post that he's getting his own place in the fall. So what's the problem? Wait until the fall.
 OLIZAY
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 118
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He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 3:06:29 PM
This like other posters said is all about control with a mix of can you piss as far as me if not your a loser. Let's be real all that really matters in the pursuit of love and happiness is how one treats and makes the other feel. Having this and that will never suffice for the affection and love one can give over a lifetime if they choose to be together forever. Why dismiss this man because of his free will choices? I could see if the guy was trying to move in with you or take residence but my god, he lives with his parents and you say he's all that so why are you so quick to just up and ditch him? Plus your looking for marriage and what not, well it's not good to shack before marriage, so this could be a blessing in disguise; how many people do we all know who shack that talked about getting married but never get married or how bout those who shack for years on years get married and it never last. You should embrace this man for who he is and how he treats and makes you feel as a woman, not for what he has or where he chooses to lay his head. This is just another case why some women will always be lonely for life wondering why thier lonely because thier too busy judging a man before they even know him.
 JamesHeart
Joined: 3/14/2008
Msg: 119
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 3:25:41 PM
I suspect that he has some pretty serious "mommy" issues going on.

The average 30 year old is not still living at home. However I can't totally pin the blame on this poor sap, at the end of the day the blame for this falls with the parents. They should have kicked him out a long time ago. Speaking from a social developmental standpoint, this guy is so far behind the curve, he probably thinks he's ahead. There are so many skills that he just has no idea how to perform. First and foremost he has no concept of financial responsbility.

I don't know why parents do this to their children, it's not doing them any favours by letting them hang around the nest.

Anyway the next step seems obvious, wait until he gets his own place and see how he does. Make sure that he is really living on his own, and not getting mommy to cook him his meals and do his laundry. Basically throw him off the deep-end and see if he sinks or swims and go from there.
 Easy-Ride
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 120
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He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:37:01 PM
i think our friend JamesHeart, have hit the right answer here lol

john
 kjacks31
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 121
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:41:58 PM
To the OP: Does he live there for free, or does he pay rent that's close to the norm for renting a room/studio apartment? IMO that's the biggest factor. If he's at home for free and indeed has no circumstances requiring this (unemployed, etc) then I'd say he's a mooch and it's a cause for concern. Mooches need love too, but are historically bad news for the SO. If he pays rent and is living like most bachelors do, only at home instead of a strangers house, then it shouldn't be an issue.

Personally, I find renting an apartment by myself is not only financially ridiculous but it's depressing and a waste of space.
 Carmen-Sandiego
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 122
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He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:12:13 PM
Run like hell! Don't waste your life and time. You will become his mother. Believe me it's not worth it, you will be the one taking care of everything in life. He doesn't have any life skills of his own. If you are the sort that has drive to better yourself you will eventually be tearing your hair out at his lack of desire to improve and the fact that he is holding your life back from progressing. No matter what you do to help him he will NEVER change because he doesn't want to help himself.

His lack of drive will also apply to the relationship. You are the one that will have to make every effort for it to survive because he won't be bothered to go out of his way to make you happy. It will just be too much effort for him to have to think or take any action. It's much easier for him to do nothing, and that's exactly what he'll do.

When the crap hits the fan don't expect him to be by your side. He'll be hiding in the corner while mummy makes it all better.

I have a lot of experience with a person like this. Please head my warning.
 Thaddal
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 123
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:28:40 PM
That was a good one Landra....i really think she wants to drive the bus....
 Shaitan
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 124
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:51:02 PM
OMG what is wrong with this dude?

I would have laughed at him , and bailed. I wouldnt have ever kept talkin to him.

He should just tat a huge L on his forehead and be done with it.

^T^
 kayleegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 125
He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:57:07 PM
the shacking up with his cousin is the part that would scare me!
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