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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profi      Home login  
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 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 201
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What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?Page 9 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Ok, I'll take a shot from this male's perspective.

What I look for in a profile is substance. Let me know what makes you special - your interests, your perspective on life, what matters to you, whatever you can share that helps me glean some insight into what makes you tick.

Chemistry, I've learned, just can't be determined without meeting in person, but do please include at least a clear shot of your face and another longer shot that gives at least some hint to your form. Everyone assesses themselves differently in terms of "average", "athletic and toned", "a few extra pounds", etc... but a pic tells so much more.

That said, you can skip the cleavage shots, unless that's how you dress every day. Sure, like most guys, a nice bust can turn my head, but to capture my interest I need to know the woman I'm with is someone whose company I can enjoy intellectually, emotionally, AND physically. The more insights you can offer the more likely you'll save both of us time if it's clear we're not a good fit or conversely, the more likely if you MIGHT be a good match that I'll be able to recognize that.

I remember when I first put together a profile that I tried to share whatever traits I thought I had that might make me appealing to a woman. But when I read back over it I realized there was nothing there that would make me stand out from any other guy. So I started over and just tried to honestly share who I am, and that seemed like a much better approach. It's also what I look for in a woman's profile.

But that's just me. I'm sure other guys look for other things.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 202
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/13/2011 8:18:45 AM
I'm surprised by what some people think should *not* be in a profile. If someone is into hunting and fishing, then pics of dead animals are appropriate. It helps each of us filter if we know what the other person is really like or really into. I don't mind pics of kids/babies/small dogs, either. Again, my filter may be "on" or "off" for those things--but the point is, I have one. And someone's hobbies ain't the be-all and end-all of compatiability, either. You can do your thing while I do mine, at least some of the time, so those sorts of things are a non-issue for me.

As wvwaterfall said,


The more insights you can offer the more likely you'll save both of us time if it's clear we're not a good fit or conversely, the more likely if you MIGHT be a good match that I'll be able to recognize that.


I want to learn what you are *really* like by what you write, not what you *say* you are like. When a guy writes that he has a "great sense of humor," but the profile is smack-down boring, I'm thinking, "Oh, no you don't!" If a guy is funny and irreverent, he'll write like that. If he is thoughtful and mature, that will come through too. I think a good profile is much more like a conversation than a shopping list or advertisement, and that's what attracts me. Most profiles are incredibly similar, so if one stands out, I notice!
 TABITHA890
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 203
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/13/2011 10:09:18 AM
Hmmmm lets see, I hate seeing this big old ugly fish in these pics the worst! Some guy holding a big fish by the gills is really gonna make women go for you, ya right?lol If I see a man with a bare chest I pass him by also. Things not to put on profile: 1. fish of any calibar.2 deer heads or something of that nature.3 I like kids but do you have to be holding one in your main profile pic? 4. Putting pic with 3 or 4 people as main profile, what are you, Sybil?lol You have to set there and try to guess which one is the main man.lol 5. Puts loves life and loves to laugh, who in the heck doesnt? 6. I look and act soooooooooooo much younger than my age.(give us a break now)lol 7. Looking for good hearted woman, that has been used to death. 8. Saying you are the bestest, nicest, awesomest, funniest, and all your friends say you are truly the greatest, which brings me to the fact, if you are all that, why are you on here? Just my thoughts but I guess they are like a.. holes, everyone has one..lol
 TABITHA890
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 204
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/13/2011 10:10:42 AM
Also forgot bad spellers, duh spell check.lol And you might end up like Charlie Sheen ,,,,Winninggggg.lol
 TABITHA890
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 205
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/13/2011 10:18:50 AM
Or had one at first meeting say, he would take his teeth out later when we got more comfortable with each other to eat,,,oh heck nooooo, got out of there fast!lol
 Iascaireachta_arĂ­s
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 206
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/13/2011 12:56:06 PM

When a guy writes that he has a "great sense of humor," but the profile is smack-down boring, I'm thinking, "Oh, no you don't!"

^^^My thoughts exactly. But if the profile has me at least chuckling...I'm thinking it's a good thing...There is a person at the other end vs a dead fish...(providing they wrote their own profile) My daughter tried to help me write mine once upon a time...that was too strange on so many levels!

Someone else mentioned pictures of men holding fish...those are not quite as bad as the dead animal ones but if both are for food...then it is part of who they are and part of their life. It was also mentioned that those pictures are helpful for filtering...not for judging. I think I might like to learn to fish someday...I'm fairly certain I don't need to learn to hunt. I'm also fairly certain the guy in my life will not want to learn to make a pair of earrings or turn a photograph into a water color...probably not going to be his cup of tea...cuz he probably likes coffee anyway...
Chemistry...still so hard to predict!
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 207
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What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/13/2011 5:33:30 PM
Personally, I like a short and to the point profile.

There just isn't enough time to work, bathe, eat and read reeealll long profiles:)
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 208
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/13/2011 7:39:42 PM

Too bad if that is politically incorrect. I appreciate women who have worked to stay a size 4.



Political correctness is not the issue. What is the issue seems to be your apparent lack of awareness that "women who have worked to stay a size 4" translates to "unhealthy weight" for the majority of women taller than 5' 4"
 GentlemanScott
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 209
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/13/2011 7:43:40 PM
Why no children ? Wow, that's aneye opener. But I suppose in a strange way it makes sense. Many 45 plus women see a single guy with younger children and head for the hills. After all, "they've been there done that", and want someone "totally free" to take trips and without anything, anyone that might put time constraints on dating. I can see it, but I do not agree with it.
 GentlemanScott
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 210
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/13/2011 7:50:30 PM
So, children at home is a "no no" for women 45 and up ? Me thinks that ignores the reality of couples having children later in life, in some cases into their late 30's. It also is inconsisten with the concept of "acceptance" of someone for who they are, as opposed to "what I want". I see children as a gift, so long as the partner is flexible and compromise rules, as it must in any long term relationship. And this works both ways. I could turn that one around on many fronts, such as "no women whove NOT had children/no women whove not been married/or no women whove been married more than once." Too much baggage to deal with ? I don't see it, but then again I have experienced it several times, and find it to be a shallow and self centered "dating standard".
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 211
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/13/2011 8:23:09 PM
I have read so many profiles they pretty much all just leave me cold.

Same old boring beach walks, demands, and want way more than what they offer.

The short fat man who USE TO do all of his interest list wants a slim active woman with a mortgage free home who is semi retired and has the means to travel. Oh yea and that soul connection with sex every day because they look and feel MUCH younger then any other man you will meet.

Sheesh
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 212
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What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/13/2011 9:10:52 PM
So I got a one line message the other day from a woman who lives reasonably close by. Checked out her profile and her entire text was "a guy who loves, supports, respects, understands, appreciates, accepts, laughs with you, and you can share some common intrests with me. i'm looking for the next john wayne to come and get me on a white harley."

So I politely responded and asked if she could share a bit more about herself to see if we indeed had any common interests and she took offense.

Bye bye.


So, children at home is a "no no" for women 45 and up ? Me thinks that ignores the reality of couples having children later in life, in some cases into their late 30's. It also is inconsisten with the concept of "acceptance" of someone for who they are, as opposed to "what I want".


And me thinks that if you're going to try to convince everyone to see the world as you do you'll face some real challenges in the dating realm.

I'm all for acceptance of a wide range of people professionally and socially in the broad sense, but when it comes to a potential significant other I reserve the right to be pickier.

I respect anyone's right to have or not have kids, adopt political or spiritual positions different from mine, be as fit or not as they please, and pursue whatever hobbies and interests add value to their lives. But if we're going to contemplate a relationship, we need to be compatible in terms of whatever we both value in a partner, and that may well include some or all of those traits.

A profile should not be about making ourselves appealing to everyone. It should be about making ourselves appealing to someone who would appeal to us. There's nothing 'right' or 'wrong' about whatever any one of us decides is important. What matters is that we're all as accurate and honest as we can be so we can sort each other out and hopefully find good matches for whatever we seek.

At least that's my take.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 213
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What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/14/2011 12:49:57 AM
Msg 273

The short fat man who USE TO do all of his interest list wants a slim active woman with a mortgage free home who is semi retired and has the means to travel. Oh yea and that soul connection with sex every day because they look and feel MUCH younger then any other man you will meet.

Most POF members believe that they look younger than their age.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 214
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/14/2011 5:57:28 AM

A profile should not be about making ourselves appealing to everyone. It should be about making ourselves appealing to someone who would appeal to us.
If someone truly wants a one-on-one, this is their mindset. I don't want to meet 1001 almosts or not-quites, rather just that one special someone. At this point in my life, I know what I want...a man who thinks like I do, who is equal in the looks dept. & is geographically accessible
 TABITHA890
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 215
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/14/2011 11:03:46 AM
That is great if that is what you want, slim women. You should state it. But sometimes just being slim isnt the only answer. I find alot of the men who state that they want that look like they are old as Methusala.lol You can lose weight but you cant fix looking old as the hills and putting on your profile you are at least 10 yrs younger than you really are. Please put right age on profile and perhaps you will win your Slim Barbie type. If not, there is not a bats chance in hell them getting that prize.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 216
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What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/14/2011 11:25:43 AM

What I look for in a profile is substance. Let me know what makes you special - your interests, your perspective on life, what matters to you, whatever you can share that helps me glean some insight into what makes you tick.
.........
So I started over and just tried to honestly share who I am, and that seemed like a much better approach. It's also what I look for in a woman's profile.

I did that in my first profile - different site, but essentially the same one I used on POF. And once I joined POF, I even took it to Profile Review. But I still haven't figured out how anyone is supposed to talk about themselves, what they like, don't like, what their plans and goals are -- all without using "I" while doing so.

And the result of that first profile was a few complaints that it was too long, and more than a few rants (unsolicited) about how I shouldn't even be on the site wasting people's time because "I" obviously didn't "need" anyone to take care of me!

My profile gets shorter and shorter, but it's still who I am. And I'm not about to try to change to suit someone else's idea of what's proper or acceptable.
 withoutchoo
Joined: 10/8/2011
Msg: 217
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/14/2011 4:08:37 PM
choose profile pic wisely. pics taken on your pc in your bedroom with no shirt on, is a turn off to me. it makes it seem like you are lookin fer luv in all the wrong ways. also a big turn off for most women is when a man brags.. well, " ive been told im a great kisser" turn off. what do i care how other women rate your kissing. if it was all that great, why is the guy still single. frankly i wonder what he kissed to get a grade. what i look for is someone who can express himself clearly. one who knows what he wants and who he is. i want to know what he holds important in a woman. i like to see pics of what he does for fun. not what he has aquired. harleys are nice but is that how to measure the integrity of a man? one guy took pics of every room in his house. great for him but i have my own house. i wanted to know what he had in his head, not in his house. it suggested to me that he was maybe looking for a playmate that he could impress with things. i hope i dont sound negative. just answering as honestly as i can.
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 218
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/15/2011 5:04:45 PM
Love it when in the background the place is a huge mess. Argggh look elsewhere for a cleaning lady. Haha
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 219
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What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/15/2011 5:44:55 PM

Love it when in the background the place is a huge mess. Argggh look elsewhere for a cleaning lady. Haha

I saw one of those on another site. Man was looking for a live-in - not unusual, right? But his one and only photo showed him sitting in the middle of at least a year's worth of empty pizza boxes and beer cans! What he really needed was a dumpster and a front end loader.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 220
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What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/15/2011 5:58:51 PM

Same old boring beach walks, demands, and want way more than what they offer.


Funny you should say this. Most women's profiles I've read say they like to go for walks on the beach.

While I don't read men's profiles it seems most women seem to use the same outline to write the same basic info:

1. I love to laugh
2. Walks on the beach
3. I love my family
4. Not looking for a FWB
5. I'm independent

Men and women need to write something about themselves that we don't already know.
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 221
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/15/2011 6:24:04 PM

Men and women need to write something about themselves that we don't already know


Looking for a tall dark handsome man who is loaded.

What's the matter I can dream in techni-colour like most the men do ya know.
 cutenperky2
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 222
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/15/2011 9:09:03 PM
Dont say your looking for someone attractive when you are fat and bald. Dont put up pictures of yourself drunk or drinking. Dont put up pictures of yourself making funny faces. Dont brag about being muscular and athletic. Do say your hobbies and interests and if you have traveled. Make yourself appear to be a nice person. If you make a list of things you want you sound like a demanding child.
 chocolate.diamond
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 223
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/15/2011 10:31:03 PM
Undesirable for any woman is a man that is dishonest. Tell the truth about yourself. If you are a player, say so. do no pretend to be richer, younger, skinnier, taller, smarter, less balder than what you realky are. Just b u.

Begging, poor mouth, filthy minded men. Cheap men, I'm not talking about men in a financial strain because times are hard, but just cheap even with themselves. Keep your profile clean and honest.

Women like men who are great conversationalist, great listeners, confident, yet humble. Mysterious but not so discreet you seem spooky.
 GooFish
Joined: 9/15/2011
Msg: 224
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/15/2011 11:10:40 PM
I don't care what age you are, this has always been my turn offs when reading a woman's profile.
- Incognito pics with sunglasses.

- Vacation pics or things of interest.

- Pics behind the wheel in a car. What's up with that?

- Remarking how guys are out to get laid. Bull women are too.

- Long exasperating profiles filled with quotes, philosophies and extracted song lyrics.

- Posing in front of a mirror with your cellphone. Cannot find anyone to take your picture? So Tacky and Lazy!

- Pictures of dogs or posing with dogs. I am on here to meet a female not a pet. Never met a pet that can write back to me. Your profile should be about you and pics of you. Poising with your dog tells me your lonely and your dog will get in the way on a date when you have to leave early to go let it out or cannot find a sitter.

- Your kids come first. Oh really? I would hope so. What are you doing on a dating site then? You don't have time for dating or a relationship which refers back to women are out to get laid themselves and have FWB lined up anytime and pose in provocative clothing showing their boobs.
 free4all131220
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 225
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 11/16/2011 9:25:24 AM
suecat51- is that all?
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