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 coveredinpaint
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 59
Random compliments not a good thing?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I can't believe it didn't work out for your friend, OP. I mean, walking up to a random beautiful woman and telling her that she's beautiful. And that didn't compel her to throw herself into his arms in response to such a meaningful and original comment?

The girl was a beyotch for sure, if indeed that's how it all went down. But complimenting women just for the sake of doing so will just empower women like that even more, making them feel they have complete control over men and entitled to treat them like garbage.
 coveredinpaint
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 61
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 12/10/2009 1:02:56 PM
You have to keep in mind that attractive women have to deal with every loser in the world spewing garbage out of their mouth just because a hot woman happens to walk by. It's got to get old for them. Of course, you'd think they'd adapt to it a little better and more appropriately and just say thanks or something, especially if the guy was not being sleazy about it.
 BLUEMISS
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 62
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Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 12/10/2009 1:19:24 PM
I talk to a lot of people in a day and if I think someone is dressed nice, their hair looks good,the color they have on compliments them, I will tell them.I stopped a lady in Superstore one day and told her...I just have to say, I love your hair, you've probably heard that before, though. She had white hair,cut in a funky style...long on one side and short through the back and the one side, with a black streak on the long side. She was 65 and looked about 50,I found out this from the long conversation we had after that ,and she ended up giving me her hairdresser's card.

I have been told by the guy that works at the gas station I go to that I am a good looking woman, I just smiled and said thanks, and once in the bar a stranger came up to me, asked me my name and told me I was beautiful.I asked him his name and said thank you.Made my day, both times! Why a person would react negative to a random compliment is way beyond me.What harm is it going to do to give a person a compliment or to take a compliment, given to you, graciously?
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 66
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Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 12/10/2009 2:40:48 PM
Ugh - I hope not . . I'm not a talented enough actor to even fake that!

Maybe it's the decade I grew up in...
 chrisofpa
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 69
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 12/10/2009 3:49:49 PM
Some random thoughts

1. Maybe it was really a p*ssed off guy in drag who wasn't really used to the high heels.

2. PMS??

3. There is a whole theory on approaching in those situations regarding the body language. The idea is to approach from the front at an oblique angle. If your friend approached her from the rear or directly from the front that causes people to be defensive.

4. Maybe she had a body or two in the trunk and got a little nervous. They still haven't found Jimmy Hoffa.

5. Could be she was a ho and was worried that her pimp daddy would give her a hard time for freebie talking.

6. Don't look at one data point, look at the overall effect of doing what your friend did. You need to look at the middle of the Bell curve, not the tails. Of course, it doesn't sound like tail from her would be worth the effort.

7. Back to body language. There is a definite 'keep out' zone for both male and female. In a case like you mentioned, the keep out zone is even deeper. Kind of like a ticked off aegis destroyer. Stay out of the bubble.

8. Maybe he had a Phillies t-shirt on and she was a Mets fan.

End random thought process....
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 70
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Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 12/10/2009 6:30:56 PM
Maybe she was a he, and he regrets changing his sex into a woman, how dare some dude said she was beautiful when he doesn't feel it, because he still have weanie dangling below his belt.~~~~~~~~

Oops! corny joke, I have to tickle myself to laugh at my joke.
 Mr.Versatility
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 75
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 12/12/2009 6:43:09 AM
We dont know your friend so its hard to determine things here, if a guys hot than a woman might like it if hes not she will probabaly be more offended, women are like that!
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 77
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 12/14/2009 8:38:29 PM

It was a bit of an extreme reaction, but consider this; How many times each day does a gorgeous woman have some stranger come up and tell her she is beautiful?

I was in a long-term relationship with a former model and I can tell you it happens sometimes up to 10 or 15 times per day and if they're having a bad day, the tenth person to say it isn't likely to receive a warm reception. The biatch shield becomes a time-management tool.

Guys, if you see a beautiful woman, the last thing you want to say to her is that she's beautiful. Yeah, she knows she is and she also knows that she is MUCH more than her looks.

That is so well said. I've mentioned elsewhere that I've had a couple of friends who were truly stunning by any standard, and while I never saw either of them react quite that way (neither was ever so foul), there were certainly times they were just tired of it and got a bit mean-mouthed quite uncharacteristically. Sometimes you're just the 50th guy that day and she's had enough already. A bad reaction from someone like that almost always genuinely isn't personal toward you. She's just fed up is all.
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 80
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Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 3/26/2010 6:08:15 AM
I had one random compliment that stuck in my mind from years ago... a man came up to me and told me I had the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. I was shocked, but in a good way. I stammered out a 'thank you' as he turned and left. That is the BEST thing about random compliments- they are given with no expectation s for a return on investment as it were! That compliment was about 20 years ago but it stayed with me. Got a backhanded compliment from a taxi driver last year after a big night out with workmates... he said "you looked kind of sour when I pulled up but then you smiled and you looked lovely"... I really didn't know how to taken that one!!

My kid gets random compliments for her tattoo on her arm- a stylised guitar. An old woman was the latest, on the trains in Sydney.

I too hope your friend does not get discouraged about giving compliments and chalks this one up to experience!!
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 82
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 4/5/2010 5:50:32 AM

"Sorry for just randomly approaching you, but I wanted to tell you that I think you're incredibly beautiful. Have a nice night."


i do not think he should have said it like that. to me, that sounds like he wanted to hook up with her or something. he could have just said "you're pretty" and that is it. she probably would have said "Thank you, but i'm not interested" or whatever.


Seriously, are you kidding me? My friend just walked back to the car, shrugged and we left. How obnoxious can someone be? He gives a compliment, walks away without pushing his compliment and she rips in to him.


If you think that is bad, mine is worse. I just simply say to someone "Nice shoes" or "pretty nails" and they curse me out or walk away without saying anything (I even got slapped once). i do not get why people think it is okay to be rude to strangers. Even if you are not interested in them, they could at least be polite.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 85
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 4/15/2010 6:06:11 PM
The OP's intent was good....
But time and place is everything.

To try to chat up a girl...at night...at a gas pump...
is the wrong way to go.
She is in a vulnerable position,
and would be defensive toward any guy bothering her then.

Far better to randomly compliment her if she goes inside the gas station.
In a lighted area with people about she may be more open and charmed at the remark.

Time and Place young buckos.
 treselle
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 86
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Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 4/15/2010 7:21:35 PM
A man told me that he was always attracted to aggressive girls. I bet so is your friend. One can tell if a woman is aggressive or kind, if she is in a bad mood or a good one. To your friend it will often be like this, he just can not help himself. Many men are attracted to BAD GIRLS.
Now, about thanking for a compliment. Who did come up with that???? All a woman should do is just smile.
 treselle
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 87
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Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 4/15/2010 7:34:39 PM
I met with a guy (I spoke on the phone a number of times) for the first time and he showered me with compliments. It was too much. Such as:" I like your boots, your coat, your hat......" It was just "trying hard to impress". Too much compliments are not good. If you think that every woman can not wait to be complimented by men, you are wrong. The right timing and the right amount of it is very important.
 brewswain
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 88
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 4/17/2010 7:16:37 PM
Women no longer know how to accept a compliment.
But they are being taught that men are evil .............watch any TV show..men are protrayed as buffoons or evil...............
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 89
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 3/17/2012 10:38:10 PM
Ya know.

The reason compliments on here are not a good thing is that many women have husbands or boyfriends who sometimes use their mail. If ya compliment them, and dude sees; it causes them friction. (especiallly if you have some stuff going for ya)

Thats why compliments arnt appreciated.

They've lied about being "really" single; and it's in bad taste for you to do anything that makes their lie cause them grief.



(I say break em up, and CAUSE that grief)

If they cant be honest with you; you shouldnt worry about what happens with their relationship because of their own actions.

Pick her up, use her, do whatever you feel the need to; the consequences arnt yours. (they're theirs)
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 90
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 3/17/2012 11:19:50 PM
Why would a guy do that? Women never do random compliments to strangers, or rarely. It was an inappropriate time and place. She probably gets harrassed all the time and took it as just a sexual come on. He was judging her by her looks and by something she has no control over, just an accident of nature. Random compliments by guys are viewed with suspicion as men usually have an agenda. Not all.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 91
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 3/17/2012 11:23:59 PM
Treselle

when men do that they usually are wanting to screw you and soon. As you say, the right compliment at the right time and with the right person. They lay it on thick until they get what they want and then you never hear it again.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 92
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 3/18/2012 3:52:45 PM
Random compliments by guys are viewed with suspicion as men usually have an agenda.


Yup; everyones out ta getcha n do ya wrong girls.



Wouldn't it follow logically that a guy who even TALKS to you has an agenda? So, um, where does the compliment change anything for the worse?

Like, when your uncle or grandpa calls ya cutie; is he thinkin sex?

Maybe the ladies who distrust compliments are just miserable b*tches; just maybe.

P.s. Classy women actually "do" compliment.

Maybe some people just like making othrs feel good.

I know; the nerve, but ya.
 Infinity_G
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 93
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 3/18/2012 4:04:47 PM
Typically, women usually have their defenses up from the start, esp. after experiencing men approaching them in certain ways, which could be complimentary.

At one time, when women are younger, they really liked the amount of attention they'd get from a guy, but then sometimes these men had a tendency to hover for a little too long at social gatherings and not mingling with the rest of the group. After so many experiences with this hovering, they wind up forming some kind of defensive mechanism when men approaching them, sometimes trying to fend them off completely.

So, I suppose familiarization over time and repetitive meetings through social circles would be a good way to circumvent these defense mechanisms.

It's really due to a course of long term experiences that men had complimented them over the course of their life to the point where it just doesn't seem genuine from a total stranger.
 slpboo
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 94
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 3/18/2012 5:03:13 PM
That lady sounds like she had issues but complimenting too much sounds desperate and like you're trying to win her over with complimenting her. Sorry, my self-esteem isn't that low that my self-worth is based on what guy thinks of my looks.

Reminds me of this guy I talked to from here (never met, just talked via text and online), he texted me, "Can I ask you a question?" [Annoying thing to ask btw] and then followed up with, "Why are you so gorgeous?" [This was after he had already complimented my looks before].

Um, thanks? You sound lame and like you're hung up on looks. Only the really insecure ones thrive off constant compliments.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 95
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 3/18/2012 5:05:30 PM

Wouldn't it follow logically that a guy who even TALKS to you has an agenda? So, um, where does the compliment change anything for the worse?

As an opener to the conversation you have as an agenda - it's not actually genuine. And while other women do eat it up - I find it contrived. It's not necessary. And honestly, I'd love it if guys talked to me without any type of agenda or goal as well...if they do at all.

Like, when your uncle or grandpa calls ya cutie; is he thinkin' sex?

Can't say, haven't been called that by either. But I should have clarified "men I don't already know" for the most part - as the ones I do know for any length of time would either mean it or know not to throw em at me at random.

Maybe the ladies who distrust compliments are just miserable b*tches; just maybe.

It's not a matter of distrust for me, it's just silly and usually isn't genuine. That's fine, I just don't tend to melt over a compliment. Some women do and for those women, I think it's fantastic.

P.s. Classy women actually "do" compliment.

Who do they compliment and for what reason? I may have missed something earlier. I'll review.

Maybe some people just like making othrs feel good. I know; the nerve, but ya.

THAT would be awesome. I don't tend run into that a lot. Usually when I say thanks and go to move on after a compliment, there's more to it. A compliment that didn't expect a thank you or any further conversation is refreshing, but not a common occurrence.
 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 96
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Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 3/19/2012 6:27:54 AM
I just read this now. I'm sure the original poster is long gone, but its still an interesting thread worth commenting upon.

It seems awfully nasty for that woman to have reacted that way. Maybe she was just a bitter, hateful person or a crazy woman.
But if she wasn't, I can think of a few other possible reasons why she acted that way.

Among the other things she said to him, she yelled at the guy to get away from her car. Its possible that he came too close to her, in a dark , nearly empty gas station and scared the crap out of her. The OP said his friend started to walk away, but didn't get more than two steps. Its possible that she didnt realize he was walking away and thought that he was going to rob or assault her in some way. She might have been making noise to divert him and attract attention or she might have just been reacting to being extremely frightened. That's one of the things women are taught to do in case of an assault, try to attract attention in some way. I love being complimented as much as the next woman, but to be honest, I'd rather not be approached when I'm somewhere by myself at night.

Another reason is maybe she thought he was being sarcastic. I'm not good at taking compliments but if someone compliments me now, I assume they're being sincere. However when I was much heavier, if someone complimented me physically, I would have thought they were being sarcastic. Maybe this was the case with the woman. Maybe he thought he was making fun of her and she got angry and defensive.

Like I said, I'm sure that the OP is long gone and the woman in the incident is even longer gone, so I guess the reason for her behavior will remain one of those eternal mysteries. Still its interesting to ponder.
 Rheostatic
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 98
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 3/19/2012 10:40:20 PM
I don't see what the big deal is. I'd love it if a stranger came up to me and told me I was beautiful.
 realcreewarrior
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 99
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 3/20/2012 12:35:13 PM
i agree pump the dam gas already....
 What_He_Said
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 100
Random compliments not a good thing?
Posted: 3/20/2012 1:54:03 PM
Random compliments can be a good thing. Certainly they can make someone smile.

Still, your friend might have been a little more attuned to situational considerations. Here it was at night at a gas station. While his intentions may have been good, the time, place may have has something to do with the reaction.

Having said that, the reaction was waaaaaay over the top. Something else was going on in her mind to trigger that sort of disproportional response.
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