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 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 32
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
A few people have called me 'beautiful'. A guy once walked into a post looking at me and another one smacked into a door. I've been handed flowers on a bus and had people I don't know recite poems to me. This tells me that, while I may not be to everybody's taste, I'm well appreciated by some - and that suits me just fine.

Looks or personality? Neither bother me - we're all different and have different tastes so it'd be crazy to be disappointed because a person doesn't click with you - if you aren't compatible, a relationship would be no fun anyway.

Forgot to add that my experience has been that I have grown to love the looks of the person I love - even if they didn't impress me at first. You love the human - the container isn't really that important.
 Walygatr
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 33
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/23/2009 1:45:08 PM
Hmmmm.... I think being rejected for looks is worse. Someone saying "You're hot, but your personality sucks" would be worse than someone saying "You seem like a nice guy, but I'm looking for someone better looking". That's high school 101.
 Walygatr
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 34
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/23/2009 1:45:55 PM
edit: I mean better than. Being rejected for your posting skills is worse than either.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 35
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/23/2009 5:38:23 PM
Well I think rejection bites no matter what ecspecially when you haven't met someone yet.
However I tend to have the opposite opinion as the ops in that I believe looks are more changeable to a certain extent then personality. Someone said you can get used to looking at anything in 21 days but dealing with off personality traits is hard to deal with for 2 hours.
If someone is smooth and you just know that they are hiding their intent and full of bullsheeet then it takes me less than a couple of hours.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 36
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/24/2009 2:21:40 AM
I agree with brightest blue. Besides having a head transplant or major plastic surgeries, there is little that one can do about changing facial features. I am used to being rejected for my appearance (some men seem to think women will look totally different than their pic, and seem surprised when we do look like our pics), and rarely have heard that I am rejected for my personality, it is always that I have a great personality but there is no chemistry or physical attraction. I am no beauty queen, but do not consider myself to be ugly in the least, so my idea of ugly and the male idea are not the same, and I do not know many typically gorgeous woman, so do not know where some men are finding all these supposed gorgeous women.
 RonSan22
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 38
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:29:39 PM
For myself personally, I'd have to say looks more than personality. This reasoning i have stems from the fact that I don't look my age. I'm 24 but a lot of people see me like I'm 16 or 18, which can be troublesome when trying to find that significant other. Not only that, I'm 5'4", so yeah looks does play a huge role in the game of love but only in this one instance that is my case. So, in the end, just for myself, I think it's more of looks than personality that will affect my chances of finding miss right. Just my two cents, hope this helps out.
 duffy_ty
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 39
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:32:17 AM
Do you think we just might be spending too much time in here writing back and forth. Really don't want to spend all my time writing and writing and writing. Maybe after the first letter you should take the initiative to meet up for coffee, then decided if you're a match or not.

I think a lot of us are spending too much time living in the virtual world.

I compare the virtual world to the planet Uranus. Real men are from Mars. They don't sit around writing back and forth. They want to meet that woman. So all you guys out there if you're interested write a letter or two and then make a date to meet in person. You may have lost that special person because you didn't askher ot.
 duffy_ty
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 40
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:37:51 AM
I think that looks are important to a certain extent. I get so many e-mails that start like "Wow! you're hot!! love that smile" If I was fat and ugly and full of wrinkles I don't think they would have sent the e-mail. The problem is they fall for me so fast without getting to know me. That really scares me. Because you can't fall in love with a picture. The personality is far more important. It's the personality that brings out the looks. I've met drop dead gorgeous guys that the minute they open their mouth you become ugly. I've met average looking guys that turn into gorgeous men when you get to know their personality.

Then again I met guys that were so much fun on the phone but when I met them in person, I lost interest.

I guess what I'm trying to say they are both important, personality being on top, looks second.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 41
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/25/2009 1:52:27 PM
I am sure that if you were thin and ugly you would not receive any email either....It is always interesting to me that fat is usually equated with ugly.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 42
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/25/2009 5:26:23 PM
Msg1: Does it really matter if someone reject you for your LOOKS,PERSONALITY,age , income,religion , your lifestyle or misunderstood you ???? Rejection is rejection what ever the reason is, it is clever to move on until you find your true love who will take you of what you are and understand you.... And you'll never know ,perhaps that rejection is a BLESSING IN DISGUISE....Or think it this way, if someone close the door on you, there is others that will open the door for you...
 curiousaboutu77
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 43
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 4:09:03 AM
I don't really care that much about rejection because it is better to know early then later. I think the main thing is to find people that you connect with and who is a real friend and or partner and they are hard to come by. If someone rejects you on the grounds of what you say or looks then are they really friend or partner material and would you want them in your life if they don't respect your thoughts and the way you are and the way you think.
 RadioMark
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 45
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 7:08:39 AM
I'd say it's worse to be rejected based on looks. If my personality rubs someone the wrong way, I can accept that, adjust that, even change what might be off-putting. But when rejected on looks alone, personality never gets a chance, no matter how good it might be.
 varinia
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 46
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 11:41:48 AM

having people hit on you because of wrong assumptions being assumed about you because what a person looks like is worse than being rejected for them; because the very nature of the interaction is based on a hugely faulty premise; you aren't heard or interacted with.


you said it much better than I'd been able to. It's worse that way, because you get built up, before you get rejected, whereas the other rejection gets you at neutral.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 48
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/8/2010 6:49:26 AM
unless the other person is excessively overweight (500+ pounds) or has a very bad facial deformity, I find it wrong and offensive to reject someone just because of his/her looks. I used to laugh at how people say "Get used to rejection" or "A lot more women (maybe men too) are going to reject you than accept you unless you look like someone famous that everyone loves," but maybe there are right.I understand rejection after 1 or 2 dates or several online conversations because you learned a lot about the other person and realized that they are not your type, but rejecting someone just by looks (like reading and deleting a message after just glancing at their profile picture without even reading their profile) shows you want someone who is "perfect." and can also be discriminating. FYI, there is so such thing as "perfect" in life and doing this may prevent you from ever finding our S.O. You never know how someone is like until you meet him/her in person or talk to them.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 51
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/8/2010 2:01:28 PM
Neither - because:

1. If a man's not really hot for me, that means he's not a consideration for me. A trait I require is mutual attraction - so no loss there.

2. If a man's personality and mine don't jive, then he's not a consideration for me. A trait I require is someone who gets me, and vice versa. No loss there either.

Shrug and move on. It's better to skip dating than date someone who's not attracted to you, doesn't like your personality much, or both. It's kind of a wash, honestly - unless you take things too personally, or want to date so badly that it would bother you.

And yes, I've posted something similar in this thread before.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 52
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/8/2010 3:17:07 PM
My answer would really depend on what type of rejection we're talking about, and how polite of a rejection it is. If I were to initiate contact with someone to express interest and they politely told me they didn't feel we were a good personality fit based on my profile, OR they told me they were not attracted to tall blondes and preferred short brunettes, one wouldn't bother me any more than the other---we just weren't a good match. Apples and oranges both taste good, but some prefer one over the other. No biggie. If the rejection is rude or snarky, that's a different story entirely.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 54
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/8/2010 7:01:43 PM
What if there is no such thing as rejection?

Actually there isn't - at least not when it comes to people who don't know you very well. That's just a mismatch, not a "rejection". In order to be truly rejected someone has to know you VERY well, accept you and then decide not to want to deal with you further after learning a good amount of information about who you are.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 55
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/8/2010 7:28:27 PM
its worse to get rejected based on personality.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 57
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/9/2010 12:07:38 AM
Since I am rejected frequently because of my looks
I like to think that I have worked enough on my personality
that I'm a better person. This does not mean that I think
attractive people don't have good personalities.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 58
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/9/2010 1:41:55 AM
Whether it is your looks or personality whichever, that you think is the reason you are rejected, it would not have gone anywhere either way.
I know, it can be difficult, but the WRONG person won't appreciate you.
The RIGHT person will appreciate you.
IN SUMMARY: Do NOT take it personally. It just was not the right person, who rejects you. I do really know how difficult the rejection can be to accept.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 60
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/11/2010 10:16:59 AM
Ya gotta know me to reject me,,,,,and to actually know me, takes more than a couple of dates,,,,or whatever timeline you want to set. It takes different situations, with different types of people, at different times(in the day,month,year,,,decades),etc to
"get" my personality.

I've rarely been "rejected" or "shunned" because of my personality,,,,maybe what I say and do because that personality,,,,but rarely because of it alone. Either/or, no skin off of my bum. Now,,,,with my looks,,,,,,this is what I got and if you no likey,,,,,take your glasses off. It will help.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 61
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/11/2010 10:32:29 AM
For me , my looks carry my personality when I am interacting with people or posing for a photo shoots,with different impressions....Even a dress form mannequin has personality. It is like walking or moving around ,your feet carry your body so yor looks carry your personality.

In any aspect of endeavors people are rejected of poor verbal interactions, poor personality, and age,height,color, level of education ,nationality discrimanations..


<div class="quote"> What type of rejection is harder for you guys : Looks or Personality! Peace!

Well,I 'll try to go for some guys who likes my looks and personalityand etnicity and not looking for tall ,white blue eyes blond caucasian, that is a good thinking on my part ...But if I still got rejected I'll try and try until I succeed.
No and never I take rejection hard I hope you too.
 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 63
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/11/2010 12:48:27 PM

I would say personality. Looks are subjective so I may not just be what they like and that is fine.


probably both hurt if you wanted that person.

'personality' is subjective too.

it's not like there's one universal 'personality' that is known to be attractive to, or liked by, "ALL" People.

if they don't like your personality, it may just be not what they like too.
 .dej
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 64
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/12/2010 11:10:41 PM
Personality for sure.

I don't care about my looks.
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