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 curiousaboutu77
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 43
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I don't really care that much about rejection because it is better to know early then later. I think the main thing is to find people that you connect with and who is a real friend and or partner and they are hard to come by. If someone rejects you on the grounds of what you say or looks then are they really friend or partner material and would you want them in your life if they don't respect your thoughts and the way you are and the way you think.
 RadioMark
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 45
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 7:08:39 AM
I'd say it's worse to be rejected based on looks. If my personality rubs someone the wrong way, I can accept that, adjust that, even change what might be off-putting. But when rejected on looks alone, personality never gets a chance, no matter how good it might be.
 varinia
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 46
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 11:41:48 AM

having people hit on you because of wrong assumptions being assumed about you because what a person looks like is worse than being rejected for them; because the very nature of the interaction is based on a hugely faulty premise; you aren't heard or interacted with.


you said it much better than I'd been able to. It's worse that way, because you get built up, before you get rejected, whereas the other rejection gets you at neutral.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 48
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/8/2010 6:49:26 AM
unless the other person is excessively overweight (500+ pounds) or has a very bad facial deformity, I find it wrong and offensive to reject someone just because of his/her looks. I used to laugh at how people say "Get used to rejection" or "A lot more women (maybe men too) are going to reject you than accept you unless you look like someone famous that everyone loves," but maybe there are right.I understand rejection after 1 or 2 dates or several online conversations because you learned a lot about the other person and realized that they are not your type, but rejecting someone just by looks (like reading and deleting a message after just glancing at their profile picture without even reading their profile) shows you want someone who is "perfect." and can also be discriminating. FYI, there is so such thing as "perfect" in life and doing this may prevent you from ever finding our S.O. You never know how someone is like until you meet him/her in person or talk to them.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 51
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/8/2010 2:01:28 PM
Neither - because:

1. If a man's not really hot for me, that means he's not a consideration for me. A trait I require is mutual attraction - so no loss there.

2. If a man's personality and mine don't jive, then he's not a consideration for me. A trait I require is someone who gets me, and vice versa. No loss there either.

Shrug and move on. It's better to skip dating than date someone who's not attracted to you, doesn't like your personality much, or both. It's kind of a wash, honestly - unless you take things too personally, or want to date so badly that it would bother you.

And yes, I've posted something similar in this thread before.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 52
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/8/2010 3:17:07 PM
My answer would really depend on what type of rejection we're talking about, and how polite of a rejection it is. If I were to initiate contact with someone to express interest and they politely told me they didn't feel we were a good personality fit based on my profile, OR they told me they were not attracted to tall blondes and preferred short brunettes, one wouldn't bother me any more than the other---we just weren't a good match. Apples and oranges both taste good, but some prefer one over the other. No biggie. If the rejection is rude or snarky, that's a different story entirely.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 54
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/8/2010 7:01:43 PM
What if there is no such thing as rejection?

Actually there isn't - at least not when it comes to people who don't know you very well. That's just a mismatch, not a "rejection". In order to be truly rejected someone has to know you VERY well, accept you and then decide not to want to deal with you further after learning a good amount of information about who you are.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 55
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/8/2010 7:28:27 PM
its worse to get rejected based on personality.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 57
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/9/2010 12:07:38 AM
Since I am rejected frequently because of my looks
I like to think that I have worked enough on my personality
that I'm a better person. This does not mean that I think
attractive people don't have good personalities.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 58
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/9/2010 1:41:55 AM
Whether it is your looks or personality whichever, that you think is the reason you are rejected, it would not have gone anywhere either way.
I know, it can be difficult, but the WRONG person won't appreciate you.
The RIGHT person will appreciate you.
IN SUMMARY: Do NOT take it personally. It just was not the right person, who rejects you. I do really know how difficult the rejection can be to accept.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 60
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/11/2010 10:16:59 AM
Ya gotta know me to reject me,,,,,and to actually know me, takes more than a couple of dates,,,,or whatever timeline you want to set. It takes different situations, with different types of people, at different times(in the day,month,year,,,decades),etc to
"get" my personality.

I've rarely been "rejected" or "shunned" because of my personality,,,,maybe what I say and do because that personality,,,,but rarely because of it alone. Either/or, no skin off of my bum. Now,,,,with my looks,,,,,,this is what I got and if you no likey,,,,,take your glasses off. It will help.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 61
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/11/2010 10:32:29 AM
For me , my looks carry my personality when I am interacting with people or posing for a photo shoots,with different impressions....Even a dress form mannequin has personality. It is like walking or moving around ,your feet carry your body so yor looks carry your personality.

In any aspect of endeavors people are rejected of poor verbal interactions, poor personality, and age,height,color, level of education ,nationality discrimanations..


<div class="quote"> What type of rejection is harder for you guys : Looks or Personality! Peace!

Well,I 'll try to go for some guys who likes my looks and personalityand etnicity and not looking for tall ,white blue eyes blond caucasian, that is a good thinking on my part ...But if I still got rejected I'll try and try until I succeed.
No and never I take rejection hard I hope you too.
 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 63
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/11/2010 12:48:27 PM

I would say personality. Looks are subjective so I may not just be what they like and that is fine.


probably both hurt if you wanted that person.

'personality' is subjective too.

it's not like there's one universal 'personality' that is known to be attractive to, or liked by, "ALL" People.

if they don't like your personality, it may just be not what they like too.
 .dej
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 64
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 7/12/2010 11:10:41 PM
Personality for sure.

I don't care about my looks.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 69
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 4/25/2011 1:00:51 PM
YOu are going to get rejected because your TV is too big. You are going to get rejected because it's too small. YOu are going to get rejected because you are too good looking and they feel that you are going to cheat on them in less than a day. You are going to get rejected because you simply are b utt ugly and not even a mangy dog would want you.

You are going to get rejected.

The reasons do not matter. If you tread a rejection as a negative, it becomes a negative. If you tread a rejection as a fact of life, as a chance to go at bat and learn something, then every rejection is a positive, a new chance to see what may or may not work. The worst thing you can do is be afraid of failure, therefore stop trying new things. I have sent women poems, talked about philosophy, art, fiction, food, places, and everything under the sun.

So go out there a get rejected. Have fun doing it. Eventually the ball will arrive smack in the middle of the strike zone and you will see it in slow motion and you will send the ball out of the park.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 70
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 4/25/2011 1:13:45 PM
Personality. Here's why:

I've found that looks don't keep anyone from finding someone. There is such a huge diversity of what people think of as 'good looking', it varies from person to person. As a guy I know some guys like starving thin women, some like extremely fat ones, some like tall girls, some prefer short. I've seen some truly nasty looking women with men who obviously in love with her. Same goes for women and what they see as 'good looking' in men. No matter what you look like, some women think you're hot. Some don't. You just have to find one of those who does!

Personality is not like that, in my experience, and a search of the scientific literature shows this to be true, at least so far as research has shown so far. Women are much less diverse in what types of personality turn them on, and personality is FAR more important to them than looks, more important than money, or anything. You could look like tom cruise or brad pitt or whatever and if you're socially awkward or 'too nice', forget it, no one wants you. Both looks and personality are nearly impossible to change. If you're ugly, someone will still find you attractive, but the chances of finding someone if you have a personality that turns off women is nearly zero.
 fanciness
Joined: 11/7/2010
Msg: 71
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 4/25/2011 1:20:28 PM

You are going to get rejected.

The reasons do not matter. If you tread a rejection as a negative, it becomes a negative. If you tread a rejection as a fact of life, as a chance to go at bat and learn something, then every rejection is a positive, a new chance to see what may or may not work. The worst thing you can do is be afraid of failure, therefore stop trying new things. I have sent women poems, talked about philosophy, art, fiction, food, places, and everything under the sun.

So go out there a get rejected. Have fun doing it. Eventually the ball will arrive smack in the middle of the strike zone and you will see it in slow motion and you will send the ball out of the park.


Well said Outmind.

Rejection just means one of you didn't think you were compatible. That is the idea isn't? to find someone compatible...where there's a mutual mental, physical, emotional and spiritual click....BLISS!
 misskutie
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 72
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 5/2/2011 11:49:11 PM
I think it's a lot more offensive to be rejected for your looks, since today's society is all about body image
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 76
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 5/8/2011 9:04:10 AM

Neither would bother me. Sure it would sting if i was really into the person, but i am comfortable with my looks and personality, so if someone doesnt want to be around me because of either, oh well, what in the hell can i do? Im not changing for anyone. I will simply go on to find someone who does like me in every way.

I love this...it sums my feelings up exactly.
 forumrun4
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 77
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 5/8/2011 7:08:46 PM
Its not great to be rejected for either...personally i would like to be
rejected just because i am a plain ol hag
 tizzabelle
Joined: 8/20/2010
Msg: 78
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 5/8/2011 8:12:03 PM
well in that case, I want to be rejected for being too damb sexy
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 79
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 5/8/2011 9:15:47 PM
I think it would be worse due to personality, because looks are subjective but being an ass lasts forever.
 Island home
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 81
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 5/8/2011 10:12:56 PM
It doesn't bother me if I am rejected for either or both

I reject anyone who rejects me
Mutual rejection almost as satisfying as mutual acceptance

Of course there are levels/degree's of rejection but that's another story
 justagrlwithacat
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 83
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 5/17/2011 9:24:14 AM
hmm. i think rejection on looks would hurt me more. and it happens plenty, it just doesn't bother me AS much since the skin has thickened.
Personality though...I know who I am. I like who I am a lot and like how I interact with others, my morals, values, attitudes. I don't think anyone can say something that's going to shake my confidence in how I feel about myself.
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