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 army3
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 56
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?Page 2 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
I'm an a-hole. Only because it repels people that don't realise what LTRs, LDRs, and the like are. It also repels people that think they know, but actually don't grasp the whole responsibilites portion of the rlp.
 army3
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 57
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 5:03:29 PM
Or you can go with the fact that you dated plenty of decent guys and turned them gay.................. or they found somebody that treated them with respect and got married. Either way you cut it, you just messed up with that question.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 58
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 5:08:38 PM
I would suggest....dont limit yourself to POF. It is a big, wide world out there, and a lot of decent, caring guys inhabit the real world. If you dont find them, they will find you, when you are ready.
 Forensics Writer
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 59
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:07:34 PM
I do not believe that they are. Then again it all depends on what you mean by decent. Perhaps some guys do not want to be an object for a night or two or dated just because they happen to be "gorgeous"; what ever that means. Maby they do not want to be on the receiving end of some failed past relationship. Sure there are pleanty of "good guys" left but they too must be careful. It realy does not matter if you are looking for a date or something long term, it is very simple--- people make it complicated by not being up front, Want long term and want to be sincere in your quest? Then say so and let the rest take care of itself. Keep things simple not simpler.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 60
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:17:28 PM
I was out with a group of work collegues last night, majority were in their early 20's both male and female..what I witnessed was really beyond belief, for the first time I understood the disapointment in those young females....the eldest of the girls would be no more then 24 and all of them were looking for someone in their mid 30's..when I asked why they don't look for someone similar to their own age group, their answer was "look around"...grown up men in their early to mid twenties acting like teenagers. These girls want depth, maturity, intelligence so they look for the much older male...which makes me wonder, what's left for my age group?..
 Forensics Writer
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 62
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:33:16 PM
It seems rather odd to me that so many women peroccupy themself with how much guys cheat or flirt when they look at it from just their own point of view. Is there a possibility that women are not paying attention to their surroundings? Yes there are plenty of "good Guys" and I am sure that many of them know that monogamy is not a type of wood found at Home Depot but there seems to be some confusion for women regarding that issue. Arrogance and stupidity will cause anyone to fail.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 63
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:48:37 PM
Mosey on over to the "nice guy" forums. They are all complaining that they can't find a woman. They'll jump at the chance to talk with you.
 Bluesman2008
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 65
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 8:11:43 PM
I have a fair amount of single male friends and they all say the same thing you do - where have all the good women gone. I think that, today, more than ever, people in general seem to be much more guarded and aren't as openly friendly as they could be. Good people ARE out there. They're all over the place. But at your age, I wouldn't be too worried about it. But looking for guys for you (in their 20s) I doubt you're going to find a guy mature enough to handle a relationship. Most guys don't really begin to really mature until they're at least in their 30s.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 68
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:29:36 PM

I understand that everybody knows what they like but your never going to get everything in a single package.

I disagree. Depends on what you want in the package, but it's totally possible to find it all in one package. If it's not, then I guess I'll pass on my shipment.
 !!!TIGGER!!!
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 73
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:40:39 AM
See I think your all missing the point. Women say the want a nice guy ,talk to the nice guys but never date them always find something wrong with them. then they date the bad boy and get hurt talk again about dating a nice guy its a cycle. I know this use to be the bad boy before I got married never had a problem. After my divorce I looked at life differently and know I'm the nice guy,good job,and no drama. It alls boils down to I like myself now before I didn't. How can you luv someone else if you don't like yourself thats the bad boy curse they don'tlike themselves. On the other hand when you become comfortable with yourself it scares women away. Everyone think about that because thats what it is.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 75
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:23:19 AM

So I guess I'm talking beyond decent. David Beckham decent. Maybe my standards are too high and that's my problem.


I didn't see this the first time around until someone else said something...seriously??? I guess he's better than Brad Pitt. Way to shoot yourself in the foot girlie. That's funny and sad that you honestly believe that's the standard of man you should be seeking. That type of man's not even attainable to women in his circle...lol. And guys on POF who are writing the OP telling her that you're a good man--good luck with that. She has told most of ya'll you ain't up to snuff and ya won't be. Save your emails and begging--if you're not "David Beckham decent" then leave her alone. You won't ever be what she wants.


BE in a relationship with me, put effort into it, and if you meet someone else, like I said before, THAT'S THAT. We go our separate ways.


This takes 2. You need to speak up and flat out ask BEFORE YOU SLEEP WITH HIM what you all are doing. Be clear about what his objective is. Realize that just because you spend time with someone, go away with them and sleep with them that they do NOT owe you the "official girlfriend" thing. You're under some delusion that time spent together will qualify as BF/GF time. And you're learning that ain't so. If you are dealing with someone and you don't open your mouth BEFORE you get naked to ask about this--and I say this to you, simply because you're whining about it--then don't expect them to shout out to the world that you're his GF. If you can be with him and have the expectation of enjoying things then great. A MONTH of sex and whatever doesn't always mean relationship.


Why is it that NO GUYS seem capable of understanding/doing that?


I hope you feel better and hope that you realize you've tarred all men with your sad standards. There are men who are quite capable of giving you what you want but...

1) they don't have the looks and body of a British soccer star who doesn't play soccer enough to be a soccer star but he can sure model some undies
2) they don't have that money or those connections
3) they're probably older than what YOU want to date and therefore not interesting to you


Again, men on POF who are going on and on about being nice and decent...here she is. BUT if ya don't "bend it like Beckham" you can't get in the door!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 78
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:27:05 AM


I'm sure there are plenty of decent guys out there. But I'm willing to bet you passed a lot of them by because you were not attracted to them so now your being negative on all men because of it.

I agree with this. The OP I am sure had a a lot of nice good guys who wanted to go out with her...and like most typical women..she didn't want them..and now that she has been used by a few guys for sex mostly and whatever else..she is now bitter and wants to get back to the "nice guy"...now she realized the mistake she made..

A lot of women are like this....luckily you dint get pregnant..that would have made your dating life a lot harder...

Made a mistake doing what? Not taking pity on a man she never wanted to see naked? Not keeping someone around she'd never be serious about? If a woman isn't attracted to a guy, there's nothing to regret and go back looking for. Attraction is the end of the line - if it ain't there, there's nothing to regret besides a possible friendship with someone who'd get drunk and ask you out every two months.

Choosing not so great guys over guys that have their ish together is one thing, but if the attraction ain't there, it ain't there.

I also firmly believe that no one knows what these women go on to do in life. I'm sure it's rewarding to envision them having a crappy life as a result of not being attracted to you, but it's unrealistic to assume any other guy she dates will treat her badly, and that if one does she'll immediately think of you. It's pretty entertaining to watch some of the stories these men tell about karma tho...so thanks for the good read.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 80
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:52:46 AM
^^^If all the guys she blew off she wasn't attracted to, the fact that they were nice was incidental - plenty of attractive men are also nice, BTW. If she's wondering where nice guys are that she has attraction to, then she's basically not guilty of getting rid of anyone.

You're assuming that she had any interest/attraction to these men. I am sure if she did she would have done something about it.

Again, nice is a trait required to be considered as human, it's not a bonus and it has nothing to do with attraction and chemistry.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 81
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 9:08:23 AM
In my opinion, decent men INCLUDE men we'd like to sleep with. So I guess I'm talking beyond decent. David Beckham decent. Maybe my standards are too high and that's my problem.


I think you answered your own question. Very few men would met this requirement. The men that do will have plenty of other women that are interested in them. Sometimes being extremely picky or having very high standards can be a dealbreaker to a man even if he matches what you want. I think people who are extremely picky about who they date often ( not always ) are very demanding and hard to please in general. Or they are going after people who bring "more to the table" than they do.
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 11:17:42 AM

I think people who are extremely picky about who they date often ( not always ) are very demanding and hard to please in general. Or they are going after people who bring "more to the table" than they do.


I believe this statement to be very true for a lot of people that complain about not finding good, decent people to date. It's ok to be picky - as long as you have the same qualities to bring to the relationship that you are being picky about. Nobody likes to carry someone else through life, they just want the company whether life's treating them good or bad.
 brian a. tarrant
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 83
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 12:56:15 PM
look im ugly as ****, im not gay. that being said, im still a good guy. well i think im a a good guy. not all the guys are ***holes. me for instance, im no player im not a ladys man at all. i have trouble talking to women. all my life i wanted to be a mma fighter. since i was 2 i wanted to fight. i must be a violent person right? the hell with you. im not. but because i tell the truth about what i like in my profile, i get shit from girls, most wont even message me back to say **** off. it just sucks that people cant be more understanding.

id like a chance with a nice atractive woman, not all guys or girls are the same. and i want to settle down, just not right yet. im going after my dream and god himself cant stop me. but a girl would be welcome in my life, im not despreate but i really want some female company. well maby alittle despreate. but i dont want a ****ing wam bam. or just a friend. i want someone thats going to love me and be honest and loyal. because thats the way i am. o yea and oppisites attract, so wtf do people not talk to me because i dont like the same music or same anything as them? i never did youga or im not a vegetarian, but i would try to do it. you get my point i think. its ****ing hard to meet even mrs right know theese days. let alone mrs right. no im babbleing so ill shut up. im not gay, or a ***hole.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 85
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 3:02:35 PM
Travian, many women might find your profile of no interest, ever think about that? to say that decent men will find nothing of interest to write to her about sounds like a generalization, and the word decent is very subjective. Are you the official POF profile reviewer?
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 88
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 3:27:40 PM
Why is her profile of no interest? I see a lot of profiles of women who have no interests listed or they list shopping or hanging out with friends or going to clubs or drinking, and they seem to be a favorite of a lot of men. A lot of men tell me they are decent and I find them not decent at all. Most descriptive terms are subjective.
 pittbull29
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 92
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:18:28 PM
" David Beckham decent"? There's your problem honey.

First:
Most of us have TESTOSTERONE in our system, not estrogen...

Second:
One day," When you actually grow up.", you might be able to appreciate things like," Oh I don't know." broad shoulders, and a barrel chest? Perhaps you'll trade in your appetite of feminine facial features for a man with a stern looking brow, Roman nose, and a filled out jawline.

Third:
What you're describing as 'decent' is a scrawny little pretty boy. Of course that type is going to 'play' you. And that's because the particular type in question is in high demand, but low on supply. Jesus, no wonder the lesbian population is at an all-time high.

Home Plate:
And so sorry to disappoint, but most of us are not members of the castrati. If that is the standard that you set for us? Then you had better be it's equal... And based on what I've observed, had, and compared?... You're not. Not even close. So, why would David Beckham want to marry you, if you're not even his female equivalent.

But best of luck, in your never-ending pursuit of finding Mr..... Perfect.

P.S.
I could easily break Mr. Perfect in half.
The End
 Valabar
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 95
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:16:35 PM
Modern relationships are, at best, extremely difficult. There are no more rules or boundries that a simple profile and a picture can quantify adequately or quickly. The same holds true for any medium of interface nowdays of course. Whether it's a bar, a church, or a public venue. They are all basically one in the same. They provide you with a view, or window, to a person, who may, or maynot be, representing themselves for who they really are. Then again, examine the people in your life that you know extremely well and you'll find you didn't settle on who that person really is and what they meant to you in an hour, a day, or likely even years. There are those things they said, those things they did, and ultimately, right or wrong, how you personally choose to see them in your own eyes.

All that being said, allow me to dispense some fast, simplified thoughts.

You live in interesting times and now have a unique and interesing story to tell and you even managed to survive. Relax and enjoy the crisis as it only gets more interesting as you go along.

Shoot for men somewhat older than you are as they will likely be closer to your emotional development level at any given age bracket. You'll find this easy as men in there age bracket seem to want women generally up to ten years younger than they are as emotions for men don't come into play for at least six months into the relationship. If this sounds like a contradiction it's because it is (men have no intention of growing up - I mean where is the fun in that?).

Stop paying attention to what it is you think you want and step outside the box, that reality you've managed to build up all around you, that thing that tells you the way the world and you preceive things. There's no other way to explain it other than to remind you about those times when your parents told you, "one day you will understand what it is I'm trying to tell you." Because there's a difference between knowing something and understanding it.

Warm Fuzzies,

Valabar
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 96
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:17:37 PM

I'M HERE and looking for a decent woman


t w man...good luck with the OP. She wants David Beckham. So you need to be younger, more buff (sorry) and British. Oh and married...lol.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 103
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:58:58 PM
There are LOTS of good men. The problem is that women are too busy trying to catch men who are perfect physically and not mentally or emotionally. Until they actually put these qualities first and looks second (and are willing to widen their search) they will always be whining that there "aren't any good men".
 Valabar
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 105
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:07:37 PM
Zekestone,

If relationships are not complicated, modern or otherwise, why are you on a dating website and "seperated"? If a few simple questions at the start clears everything all up why walk away from the one you are with? Or did that turn into a complicated situation for you?

As to BS/Media BS, I agree with you there. I said as much albeit from another approach.
 nchiker37
Joined: 1/23/2009
Msg: 107
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/13/2009 9:48:38 PM
Well, I have been in the same situation dealing with women! It seems they all want to keep their options open and don't want to commit to being committed. Recently, I broke off a relationship because she just didn't want to move forward, but she wanted me around 1x a week after dating 3 months. I wanted more, like a few times a week and free weekends (we both have our kids on same weekend so that leaves 2 weekends a month free for just us adults). She seemed to have too many things going on during her free time so I finally said cya!

Then i met someone else, and we clicked very well. The old-gf found out and she started communicating with me saying she was just coming around etc etc. Long story short, i chose to take her back and stop seeing the new girl. The new girl was actually great, but I had to give the old-gf a chance again just in case she was being sincere.

Anyhow, I guess what i am saying is that there are ALOT of people men and women out here who really just want to date. Casually. Not just men.

Me?? I want to find someone to be with a few times a week or more AND that free weekend and eventually the weekends with my kids too. I want LTR not dating and not casual.

The status of the old-gf/now cuurent? We are finally doing things with all the kids on the weekends and it's good so far. Only time will tell if she has truly come around or if she was just buying her time......
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 108
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/14/2009 12:31:10 AM
meanwhile there's millions of decent guys who can't find a girl.

I wish I was decent.
*crawls back to the gutter*
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