Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 212
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?Page 5 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
I really can't believe twelve pages of people have actually taken the OP's query at least semi-seriously, as if it were a literal request for information, when it's clearly an expression of exasperation - and a not particularly original one at that.

Saying "Oh, of course not all the decent men are gay or taken" only adds to the exasperation, same as saying "No, all the decent men are in fact gay or taken".

This is one of those "Do these jeans make by azz look fat?" questions for which there is no correct answer.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 215
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 7/2/2009 11:21:00 AM
Men are often griping about women using them, they obviously like the women who use them and/or are getting some satisfaction from it, as they seem to ignore the decent women in favor of the users. I cannot speak for anyone but myself, but I would love to date a decent average looking man who treated me and others with respect.
 Gmaverick
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 227
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:11:29 PM
" is that saying true, that all good men are either taken or gay?"

Are you sure you don't mean:

" is that saying true, that all good LOOKING men are either taken or gay? .............???
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 229
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:52:10 PM
Yes, all the good ones are taken or gay. The only solution is to become a lesbian or join a nunnery.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 230
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:31:41 PM
Well I don't happen to think that all the decent men and women are taken/gay/dead/beamed back to the Mother Ship...
But that's beside the point. I'm nominating this thread as Whinefest of the Year for 2009.
Cindy O
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 233
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 7/2/2009 9:08:49 PM

it seems that the days of knowing or meeting a female that truly is a kind, considerate and respectful person are long gone.

No, they aren't. But there's a difference between those traits and the "femininity" that accepts being talked down to or regarded as unable to manage her life without a man's oversight and direction. I'm very kind, considerate and respectful to men who treat me that way, including respecting my intelligence and regarding me as equal in intelligence and general competence in managing my life. I have no quarrel with men holding a door open for me,and I won't accuse a man who insists on buying me a drink or paying for dinner of trying to buy my sexual favors. I've no quarrel with dutch or turn/turn about dating. But a guy who approaches me with an attitude of "Here I am...come to fix your life because you can't POSSIBLY keep it all together without a man looking after you" or a guy who implies that my age should dictate my acceptance of any attention from any male for whatever reason, won't get b*tched at, disrespected,or get his ass kicked...he will simply be ejected from my consideration as a man worth dating.
Kindness, consideration and respect goes BOTH ways,my friend.
Cindy O
 p0lisciguy
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 235
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:09:12 PM
I'm a decent guy. I'm not gay. I get nowhere with women. They all seem to prefer some gangbangin' type of guy.

When I'm in a relationship, I usually get treated badly. Sometimes I wonder if there are any decent women who aren't old enough to be my mom!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 236
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:23:36 PM
If all the women you know are trying to date dregs, then you're attracted to/following around the wrong women. No sane woman would purposely look to date a loser jerk guy...and I'd HOPE you thanked the Lord the ones who do aren't interested in you if you value your life and time.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 237
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:24:39 PM

I don't feel mid 30's and younger have respect these days. Not all of them, but a lot of them.

I've not felt like that was a predominant problem, but then I live in a very non urban, conservative area and most of my friends and family are honest, decent people who live by the Golden Rule, whether or not they are "religious".
Unfortunately, I think a lot of the younger people are being brought up on the idea that respect, decency, honesty and doing what's right, rather than what's easy or what's on the edge of ethical, are oldfashioned, irrelevant or wimpy. That's a damn shame, but since I don't plan to date or marry anybody younger than 40, I try not to let it bother me overmuch.
Cindy O
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 241
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 7/3/2009 4:27:21 AM
You aren't invisible to us at all, it works both ways. Decent, good women seem to be invisible to good, decent men.
 shawnt76
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 242
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 7/3/2009 1:14:27 PM
...why is it got too be ....decent guys..are they taken or gay....well im one of the decent guys and not {gay}..wheres the decent ladies at ?.....are they {taken} or {gay}...whys that.....i guess ur standerds must be too high,or u just that too picky,i been on this dating site ,and replyed too many profiles ,and people these days have to many issues,...ur on a dating site,too meet people and find out about them,but u must be {stuck up},or {high standerds},or think ur too good for people...well ur no better than anyone on this site ,so why just say about men,its a equal street out here,...well my final answer too this post is....open up ....
 angelfishstergmail
Joined: 5/31/2009
Msg: 245
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 7/3/2009 4:58:37 PM
I totally agree, I'm in the same boat.
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 254
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/17/2009 5:06:57 PM
Still a lot of decent guys that want nothing more than to be with someone, be happy and make them happy. We usually get passed by because we don't fit your preconceived notion of exactly what we are supposed to look like or how much money we make so you find one you think fits but he is not it either. There is a photo of 4 skeletons sitting at a table with the caption of "waiting for the perfect man" and I absolutely love that photo, it is the absolute truth so many times.



I don't have a type I want, I've dated tall and short, skinny and overweight, super pretty and average looking. To me it is all attitude and what is between her ears. When I was younger I had a girl that really liked me but I wasn't attracted to her but we were good friends and I still believe I made the biggest mistake of my life as I still know her and her husband is beyond happy with her even after 25 years and I see what I missed out on being shallow.

Don't know why I still bother other than when I see her smile and I know she is with me it still makes my heart glow. Really sucks to hear " you treat me so good but you just aren't the one I want" but I keep trying and hopefully I will find one that I am the one she wants.
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 255
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/17/2009 5:07:58 PM
Still a lot of decent guys that want nothing more than to be with someone, be happy and make them happy. We usually get passed by because we don't fit your preconceived notion of exactly what we are supposed to look like or how much money we make so you find one you think fits but he is not it either. There is a photo of 4 skeletons sitting at a table with the caption of "waiting for the perfect man" and I absolutely love that photo, it is the absolute truth so many times.

[IMG]http://i624.photobucket.com/albums/tt326/stiletto190/_waiting-for-perfect-man.jpg[/IMG]

I don't have a type I want, I've dated tall and short, skinny and overweight, super pretty and average looking. To me it is all attitude and what is between her ears. When I was younger I had a girl that really liked me but I wasn't attracted to her but we were good friends and I still believe I made the biggest mistake of my life as I still know her and her husband is beyond happy with her even after 25 years and I see what I missed out on being shallow.

Don't know why I still bother other than when I see her smile and I know she is with me it still makes my heart glow. Really sucks to hear " you treat me so good but you just aren't the one I want" but I keep trying and hopefully I will find one that I am the one she wants.
 Aelwulf
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 257
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:38:28 PM
Nope. I know several myself that aren't, I like to think I'm decent (who doesn't) and I'm not, look around on the replies here. I don't like that sort of question personally because it leaves so much out.

Who do you consider decent?

Are looks required?

Is income a requirement?

Is a PhD a requirement?

Is a certain religion/ethnicity/age a requirement?

'Decent' leaves a lot of possible filters out in the open and undisclosed. Post your preferred prerequisites for 'decent' on here and maybe someone that meets them will answer (if you haven't already...sorry, only polled through the first page). ;C)

xxDan - Great answer, got a laugh from it.

Cooldude's is also possible, but don't know so can't say. It does seem to be a general consensus among guys (according to other threads such as the "30, single, never married, no kids guys" thread) that a lot of women as the near/pass 30 start asking this question after they've passed over who knows how many 'decent' guys in their 20s while looking for hot/rich/well-hung.

Also, why are gay guys always assumed to be decent? I've known my share (not like that, I just don't have a problem with them) and they seem to have their share of jerks at times. given the sheer amount of taken guys I'm sure a fair number are, but talk to the wives of most men and I'm sure they'd be happy to tell you how 'not decent' they are. lol

It's all a matter of personal perspective.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 259
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/17/2009 9:54:02 PM
It may say that your not able to spot many many good men. They usually arent gorgeous, have masters degree, make booku bucks and always listed as long term. When you realize that men dont always publish what women are expecting or hoping to read(expectations will always steer you astray)as the utmost in a profile, its because were men and we write what we l ike and who we are. Sometimes you have to read between the lines and if you give some a chance you may find your knight in shining armor. The best example I can recall was the last episode of Cheers, when Rabecca"the gold digger and bar manager couldnt believe that her prince charming turned out to be a regular guy that was a plumber.
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 261
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/18/2009 2:34:01 AM
If you thought that thne you would't still be a member!
~sc~
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 263
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:19:59 AM
I have found men to be way pickier about who they consider to be an appealing woman, as looks seem to matter more to many men than they do to women about finding a match. A man who is decent to me is one who treats people and himself with respect, and who is not hung up on looks and material things and if the woman has been married. These men are rare finds.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 265
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:09:40 AM

you need to make conditions of what is "decent"

Yes, men (and some women) need to stop thinking so literally and in abstract terms involving kindness, goodness, rightness or respectability, and realize that when a woman says "decent" in the context in which it's being used in this thread all it usually means is she's wondering where all the available hot guys are.

Same word, two different languages.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 268
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:46:03 AM
Some of us are very content to date decent, average looking men who are not wealthy or who have a list of college degrees. Where are these men?
 singleagain66
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 269
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:55:03 AM
The decent guys from what I can tell are not wanted for the most part by some females even though thats what they say they want. And I say that because I am a decent guy and I get told that all the time but yet still am single. Females they say am not what they are looking for because am a decent guy (have no clue what they mean by that).

But anyway I look at it this way when those females figure out what they are really looking for they will be to late for those they past up because they will be taking by the ones who know what they are looking for.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 270
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:58:56 AM

Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?

Sorry - I took the last one.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 273
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/18/2009 10:45:36 AM
hair.metal.fan, I don't know about gay bars... actually I would have chosen the "taken" option.

It's either that or they're "players" cause they can be since they're hot, and that's about the one thing that can disqualify them from being "decent" in a woman's eyes, as they don't seen to understand that a large number of other women are also gonna find the same few guys highly attractive so they gotta get in there and compete for their share of him, which goes against that Cinderella mindset of having the rich handsome prince all to themselves. I don't think it occurs to them that their best bet in the long run would be to find a regular decent guy (i.e., one who's not hot) who no other women are interested in.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 277
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/18/2009 11:45:28 AM
Too many men? I know many women who are decent, average/nice looking but not hot by male standards who rarely date. We do not believe that a perfect man will appear to sweep us off our feet, and psychosis is not part of our personalities. I am a gorgeous swim suit model who is plus sized, does that count?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 281
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:51:30 PM

and believe that the perfect man they have ingrained in their minds will some day bust through their front door and sweep them off their feet. They refuse to make any concessions and hold steadfastly onto the image of their perfect man.

Nope.
I can't speak for anybody else, but I seriously doubt I'm all that different from the majority of decent women.
What I'm looking to find...(and no I don't expect it to bust thru my front door, come down my chimney or thru my computer screen) is a man with whom I can share a sustaining and sustainable love. He's most likely going to be an average Joe in looks and build,self supporting, honest, with a sense of humor. He will live by "do unto others as you would have done unto you". He will believe in the concept of "paying it forward" when someone is kind and helpful to him.
Now, gentlemen, are any of those things completely beyond your ability to obtain? None of them require having a 6 figure income or a college degree. Nor do they require you to look like a movie star or famous athlete.

I'll give a specific example I saw right here on POF. Here is this young 26 yo guy, good looking and a frequin MD ! He claimed he was having a problem getting women to respond to his emails. So I guess he was not decent enough either !

A couple of thoughts here. One, I might be a bit off in my timeline, but isn't 26 kind of young to be a fullfledged and certified MD?
Cindy O
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  >