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 adam_lounsbury
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 412
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?Page 7 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
one day ill put the time into learning how to forum crawl and learn how to quote properly
 adam_lounsbury
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 413
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:51:44 AM
well after further reading and seeing the direction this thread is taking, i have come to the conclusion that it is on a whole new tangent. the big thing with abuse is both sexes are criminals
- men yes are bad for the physical abuse and it is a more noticeable type of abuse
-women are bad for the more subtle abuse being emotional and mental abuse because of the fact that they lack the strength

abuse is wrong in all forms, and this thread was to be about nice guys and such and has totally turned a corner of a bashing of the sexes and would suggest that it stays as it was intended. and have someone start a new thread dealing with abuse and the types of such by each sexes and supply facts and literature on each. which would be more education and informant.

and after this post i think it will be my last, since i find these things to get way off course and off topic.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 421
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/28/2009 10:48:27 AM
how in the HELL did this thread get to be about abuse/domestic&relationship violence, statistics and studies.
I can tell you this much, from my PERSONAL perspective, the decent guys I'd be interested in dating are generally already in strong relationships. There are of course decent available men ,with whom I feel no physical chemistry. Why in the world would I date someone with whom having sex would be an unappealing chore? Before somebody starts yakking about male movie stars, let me state that my personal sense of physical chemistry is not that trite and conventional. Of course, in addition to physical chemistry, a man has to have good character and values. I don't care if he has a 6 figure income, if he is dishonest, unkind, arrogant, I'm not interested. Nor am I interested in a wish washy asskissing marshmellow doormat guy.
Guys, I hate to break this to you, but just because you have a job and are not an exconvict,doesn't necessarily make you a 'decent guy'. And if you are constantly declaring what a nice guy you are, I have to tell you that from where I sit, genuinely good/decent/nice guys are simply living their lives that way,it would never occur to them that being a decent human being was something that made them special or exceptional.
Cindy O
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 423
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:29:19 PM

narrowminded people who set themselves up to believe that everyone is nice and there are no abusive people in this world.

Oh, I absolutely KNOW that there are abusive people in the world. And I agree that women can be especially adept at emotional abuse/passive agressive behavior,nor do I doubt that women can be physically abusive.
But the subject of this topic is "decent guys". Are we saying that any man who doesn't beat and/or rape women is " a decent guy"? Cripes, if that's the case, 'decent guys' are everywhere. He may be a brokeass sponger, a cheater, a selfcreated financial disaster area, have an overly friendly relationship with alcohol,drugs or gambling, hell he could be growing marijuana and have a meth lab out in the woods behind his house,but as long as he does't beat,rape,verbally or mentally abuse women, that makes him a "decent guy"?
Cindy O
 njbris
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 426
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:25:20 PM
gentle whisper


Second women can't force men to have sex. Obvious reasons don't have to explain.


This does happen and can easily happen. Not for every man but there are circumstances such as a mature aged guys with erectile dysfunction.

You are ignorant, stop speaking for men as you are not one your self.


Men do far worse physical damage and have more anger issues then women.


So a woman has never severely beaten a man or killed a man before? You have never heard of cases of women mutilating their partner’s pen!s?


Believe me if women could defend themselves men would not be beating on them like they do.


It all depends on the situation and the people. Women can and do defend for them selves. Not all women. Just as not all men can defend themselves.


Yes there are a small percentage of women that beat abuse men and abuse period is not right


A small percentage compared to the rate men do it? ROFL


But if any man is honest with himself and others he knows men are more abusive, aggressive, dangerous then women


And if any woman is honest with herself and others, she knows that women are just as likely and capable to be abusive, aggressive, and dangerous.


A real man knows that there are a large percentage of men are down right sick


A real woman knows that any other woman who has this view on men is a raven sexist bigot.


No man wants to admit that their gender has major problems.


A sensible person wants to admit that BOTH genders have their equal share of major problems


If I were a man I would be ashamed of how many men treat women.


If I were a woman, I would be ashamed that there are women like you out there who have such illogical views on men.


But as always men have to stick up for the goo ole boys and not own up to the fact that there is a serious problem.


I think there is a very large percentage of men who are aware that these types of problems exist but not to the same extremes as you.


I think the only time men really get it is when their daughter comes home all black and blue or is found dead. Then men see the real truth.


Uhuh, so when I see a man or men abused from a woman, I will say that it’s the real truth that most women are like this? lol.


believe me I do not hate men


Thinking that any person with a pen!s is potentially guilty of being an abuser is showing hatred towards men. It’s no different being racist towards blacks by assuming that a black person is likely to be a criminal.


I respect any man who will admit that a majority of men can and are abusive, and have issues they probabley will never get help for


It’s disrespectful to have such views for the MAJORITY of men.

Anyway I could go on and on quoting more of your lunatic views but it’s too much work. I think you have serious emotional problems that need to be clinically look at. I suggest you see a shrink.

Anyway back to the topic.

If any woman believes that most of the male population is not decent, they are just about as warped as our hissy fit princess gentle whisper.

Also this is sexism, its no different to racism if you are saying that most blacks or Asians are not decent people.

It's very disturbing in year 2009 that women who think this way about the male gender are still socially accepted. The irony to this is that they are not decent people themselves if they believe that they are better than most of the opposite gender as this is blatant chauvinism, narcissism and sexism.
 njbris
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 428
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:37:54 PM
gentle whisper

If any one defines you as a decent woman considering the sexist and bigoted attitude you have towards men, there is seriously some thing wrong.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 429
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:53:30 PM
Someone who has manors
is not stuck on himself
does not brag about himself or his possessions
is not mean or rude
can carry a normal conversation without every other word being the f word
Is interested in his date not just himself or the other women around him
Is honest about his life
treats children, women, elderly, with respect
does not make fun of people
can control his temper and is not mad at the world or blaming others for his temper
does not believe in hitting or man handling a women.
does not drive like a maniac or yell obscenities at other drivers.
does not put people down because of race, religion, disabilities, lack of money, or things, or weight/looks, education.
can smile and laugh at himself and with others and is not uptight and rigid.
does kind acts and helps others when he can.

Now this list is just a basic no frills kind of guy, But one worth finding and keeping.
How many guys can say they are like this? How many women have met alot of guys like this? If so how come you are not with him?

Oh I absolutely agree with you, and I PREFER the "basic no frills kind of guy". But in addition to this basic structure of a decent human being, I have to have that special spark we generally refer to as love.
And it's not like they are all that rare...but the fact remains that a lot of them have partners...WOMEN who are decent human beings. With the unpartnered ones, it's still a matter of finding chemistry and shared values and goals. And why am I not with any of these fine men I've met? Well, the most important one died. Since then it's a matter of finding a decent unpartnered guy in my age range,with whom I have a sustainable chemistry. I notice you didn't mention income or finances, and financial ethics. Men piss and moan about "gold diggers", but there is a male counterpart. I don't care how much money he does or doesn't have, but I want a financially ethical man. That's a man who meets his bills and obligations FIRST, and doesn't try to sponge off girlfriends, parents, friends, room mates... And I'm finding out by some recent occurrences among friends, that just because a man has employment doesn't guarantee that he's not a parasite.
Cindy O
Edit to add
I in no way believe that the majority of men are problematic and/or abusive. But I think "decent' ought to mean a little more than " not abusive, incarcerated or indigent".
 njbris
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 431
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:32:31 PM
I asked you a question oOonickoOo. How come you can't answer it?

Sure


Someone who has manors


Yep but only to those who don't have idiotic views about men


is not stuck on himself


Meaning? Stuck up? Far from it


does not brag about himself or his possessions


No, I am not a narcissist. I honestly never ever brag about anything.


is not mean or rude


Definately not, UNLESS people are mean and rude to me or towards men in general.


can carry a normal conversation without every other word being the f word


I swear some times, I think most people do. But nope, I can have a conversation without using it


Is interested in his date not just himself or the other women around him


I don't think a man in his right mind would be dating some one whom he was not interested in. There wouldn't be a date to begin with.

But that being said, the part where you say that a person just being interested about themselves, that can be said about the women who expect men to pay for everything.


Is honest about his life


Look at my profile. Do I appear honest and upfront to you?


treats children, women, elderly, with respect


Yep, sure do. But as I said, if some one is rude to me or my gender, I will be rude back.


does not make fun of people


I only make fun of people who do the same to me or my gender or the women who have such ridiculous views about men such as your self.


can control his temper and is not mad at the world or blaming others for his temper


I mostly keep my cool. It takes alot to put me over the edge.

does not believe in hitting or man handling a women.

I would never punch a woman or strike a woman first!, however if a woman punched me or attempted to phyically abuse me in any way, I would slap her back.

Also, if a woman seemed life threatening such as attacking a man with a knife and he was cornered, what is a man supposed to do? I would love to know your answer!



does not drive like a maniac or yell obscenities at other drivers.


Only an idiot does that and fortunately only a minority of both genders do it


does not put people down because of race, religion, disabilities, lack of money, or things, or weight/looks, education.


I don't but when it comes to religion, I love controversy. But I don;t intend to put people down because of their beliefs, I just like to challenge.


can smile and laugh at himself and with others and is not uptight and rigid.


I do all the time


does kind acts and helps others when he can.


I am willing to help others out, even when I don't have much money to spare my self



Happy?
 njbris
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 432
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:52:35 PM
It also has to do with your age and attitude.


Geez look at your attitude, you are a raven misandrist bigot


You still have a lot to learn about life


ROFL

Can anyone see the extreme irony in this?

If you think the majority of the male gender is evil, you seriously have a lot to learn about life.


I am not bashing men as a gender


But then you say things like this


I respect any man who will admit that a majority of men can and are abusive, and have issues they probabley will never get help for


….


Look at the news today about too much violence towards women and children on tv.


What does this tell you?

Where is the concern about male domestic violence victims? Where are the domestic violence campaign commercials that mention men?

When you think about it, men may suffer more (not in all circumstances) than women as there is far less support or no support for male victims. There is no big concern for it. Male victims mostly have to deal with it alone.

Research this link carefully instead of listening to feminist hogwash
http://www.mediaradar.org/research.php#waj
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 433
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/28/2009 8:24:28 PM

talk about a subject to death

What, like 16 of your 17 posts?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 436
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:06:04 AM

We have an old saying in journalism...75 per cent of statistics are invented.

an even older, and better, commentary(attributed to both Francis Bacon and Mark Twain)
"There are 3 kinds of lies-lies, damned lies, and statistics."

While I absolutely applaud all those good people who work towards resolving domestic violence,relationship violence and child abuse, I have to question whether an online dating site is a good place to park one's soapbox on these matters. Or whether someone who is quite convinced that the majority of men are unrepentant abusers, should be looking to date. Doesn't it say something in the Bible about removing the beam from YOUR OWN EYE, before you attempt to remove a speck from someone else's eye?
Just my dollar-two-ninetyeight opinion.
Cindy O
 njbris
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 441
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:01:31 PM
gentle whisper


nick have I disrespected you once?


Yes you have because you demonise men by saying that the majority of us are abusers. As I am a male, this disrespects me as what you are saying disrespects everyone in my gender.


Your anger toward me is not healthy or productive


Your anger towards men is not healthy or productive


I have been around 55 yrs. Have 2 sons 36 and 37 and 3 grandsons 14, 12, and 1. Do you think I hate them? They are my life. I would give my life for them. And they are all male.


Everyone has men/woman in their family, that still doesn't stop them from being haters.

If that logic of yours was true, no haters would exist.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 442
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/29/2009 9:28:09 PM

I should have known going in that its all about bullies and sarcastic, know it alls trolling the forums looking for their next pray.

But did you know that you would be the one doing the bullying?


I will leave the angry bitter souls to you their plight to destroy anyone who dare come to the forums.

The only angry and bitter person I have seen in the last several pages of this thread is you.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 443
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/29/2009 9:33:26 PM

If men really want to love women then try to understand what they go through and how they are treated. Show compassion instead of sarcastic, mean spiritied inconsiderate babble.

Yet you are blatantly refusing to give men the same consideration and understanding that you demand we give women.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 446
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:28:22 PM

The last, what I thought was decent, guy that I have been talking t0 on POF for a month sent me a vulgar video the day before I was to meet him in person! So what is your opinion on that?

My opinion on that is that there are still lots of decent guys out there even though he is not to be counted among them. There are, after all, about three and a half billion guys in the world. One doofus doesn't count for much among such a large number.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 453
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:50:00 PM

come on now John One doofus????


five days ago:

The forum scene is over for me.


Now we know what your word is worth.
 FL CO
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 457
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:51:13 AM

all decent men are non existant, only rude obnoxious wanna be guys mess with women. the Men are in the garage/huntin club/track/garden/pasture. there is no such thing as a decent person anymore....a man can provide physically for a family but be broke as a window in a hurricane and that wouldnt be enough. its all about money to the majority of women, preppy/thug/starving artists/power brokers they get everything and when women are trampled on by them they seek comfort in a southern minded guy's shoulder but hes not good enough for her to be a husband.


I hear ya. The true man won't get the same attention, because he probably has calloused hands, a few scars, isn't babyface smooth all of the time, doesn't alway fit in with the latest hairstyles and clothing. He know how to treat a woman, but they're not used to it, so they run back to what they know. True gentlemen are concidered pushovers in todays world. I can do everything that a hopeless romantic would want, and still be willing to trade blows for her. Unforunately, since I won't wear something that I don't like just to fit in, or make a lot of money, I'm often overlooked for someone who does, or atleast at like he does.
 FL CO
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 459
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:30:31 AM
^^^of course dress for the event, but speaking for me personally, I could never get into the skin tight jeans, pastel colors, too small polo shirts, long hair hanging down into the face, etc.

We are probably just as bad about picking the wrong women. I've been looking for awhile now, and can't find any that meet my standards, because I'm being much more picky this time around. Those that appear to aren't interested in me, so its been tough. I'm sure will will turn up when I least expect it though
 Gogetter56
Joined: 9/27/2008
Msg: 464
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 12/25/2009 9:28:35 PM
No, but we're not settling either oh and Merry Christmas
 FL CO
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 465
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 12/26/2009 6:38:59 AM
^^^And there you have it. I'm being picky with my girls this time around. Of course being a little shy and picky doesn't help, but it'll save a lot of headache and heart ache in the long run. There's people I've thought about, but there'd always be something that I'd say that doesn't meet what I'm looking for, or something that long term would be a problem, even if I could deal with it now.
 SuperFunGuy
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 468
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 12/26/2009 4:08:56 PM
There are plenty of us single decent guys out that!
 earthlingsRevenge
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 469
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 12/26/2009 7:08:33 PM
decent guys are smarter.

They have gone for


Foreign brides.
 coveredinpaint
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 471
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 12/27/2009 11:20:45 AM
There are not that many decent guys out there, honestly. And if there are, then they aren't looking to be found, otherwise they'd all be gobbled up already. I also think women have a keen ability to overlook men who would be better suited for them and instead seek ou impossible-to-find ideal notions of men, or men who are completely wrong for them.
 Gogetter56
Joined: 9/27/2008
Msg: 472
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 12/28/2009 9:40:41 AM
If I were to start a thread whining about the women, I don't think that would improve my chances of finding a good one
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 477
view profile
History
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 1/1/2010 6:28:39 PM
From the first post I can gather that the OP wanted a man that was model good looking, and possiably independently wealthy. It seems common of many women here. Now do all the decent men fit that profile? No. So are all the decent men taken or gay? Now it is for each person here to decide to what is the most important themselves. No, but don't expect a rich man with supermodel looks on a free dating site. If you look past the pictures, you might find a more enjoyable experience without "settling"
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