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 marshfieldmale
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 32
New Feature: Date Night !Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

People get a dramatic spike in emails when they sign up to the list.



I've not gotten one email from signing up to the list. However, I'll give it some time...there aren't many women listed within 75 miles, and none within 15.


Week 3, and no results. Actually looks like less females are signing up for this feature each week...there is exactly one on the list within 75 miles of me, this week...down from about 15 a couple weeks ago, and around 7 or 8 last week. A decent idea, but looks like it's crash and burn, at this point.
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 33
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 6/27/2009 1:50:33 PM
i dont know the facts but it appears this is one of those situations where u got the boys on one side of the dance floor, girls on the other, and no one wants to make the first move. its a good idea but people need a little nudge and incentive to make it work. as it stands, it aint much different than browsing profiles except SOME of the people that are on the list actually do wanna go out. from convos i've had with others, they simply signed up with no intention of going out. like it was a mistake yet there is a remove me button.

on an extreme end, it's also kinda like the bachelorette syndrome where you got a chick with a good selection of guys and not a damn one of them is good enough for her. now that i think is just ridiculous. i mention it cuz i know it to be true for some females on here based on convos i've had. guys aint immune and fall into the same categories.

why sign up if you can't/won't go out? if you know you won't, and you've visited the site since putting your name on the list and/or finding out you can't later, why don't you remove yourself from that list? what the hell are your standards that out of 20-40 men/women, you can't find NOT ONE that's good enough to even consider a simple date with? it just makes no sense to me at all.

like a lot of things on this site, it's not user friendly. good concept but there has to be something about it's features to differentiate it from simply browsing profiles. i know for a fact that a lot of the non-contact between sides is based on mail restrictions. i even tested it myself. out of a good 25 chicks that were on the list when i signed up on week 2, i could only contact 4 if i remember correctly due to mail settings restrictions.

that may have a lot to do with the alleged non-success of the feature in addition to attitudes, behavior, selection, etc. it COULD work. but there are underlying things that need to change before it can.

as i type this, there's already 5 people signed up for next friday and this friday's just ended not long ago. some of them are the same people that have been on that list since the beginning. makes me wonder if they're serial daters, stupid and keep signing up "by accident," or really serious (no badge required).

are there any women here that have signed up more than once and HAVEN'T had success? and for those that have, why sign back up over and over again?
 marshfieldmale
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 34
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:15:00 PM
I see less and less women from within 75 miles of me signing up for this feature. It doesn't seem like it's taking off at all.

Of course, the women who have previously signed up might have gotten dates, so maybe it's working better than I think?
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 35
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:53:52 PM
i don't see more women or less women signing up for date night on my end. what i do see is the same women week after week on that list. so they're either serial daters or no one's biting their fishing hook and they're continuing to give it a shot. also, new members are on the list too. but the repeat offenders take up a lot of the space and take it up pretty quick. it's saturday night and i've chosen to stay in but from the time the list cleared on friday to now, a lot of the same women are already back on that list. i doubt it's automated. they have to initiate it themselves. which leaves me to wonder why they're so quick to sign back up? we're talking hours after the list clears, not days. i'm inclined to send an inquiry to one or some of them find that answer.
 marshfieldmale
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 36
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 8/4/2009 9:51:59 PM
I've not seen one repeat on the list...probably because the list from my area is small being I'm from a rural area.


so they're either serial daters


I'm sure that alot of these women don't appreciate being called serial daters.


but the repeat offenders take up a lot of the space and take it up pretty quick.


Repeat Offenders? You sound like they're breaking the rules by signing up for this feature. Also, I'm sure that space is not an issue.


which leaves me to wonder why they're so quick to sign back up?


Maybe it gives them a better chance to get a date the following Friday?


we're talking hours after the list clears, not days.


I don't see anything wrong with that. Actually, I do that myself. I'd like to go out some Friday night in the near future...maybe that increases my odds, I don't know.


i'm inclined to send an inquiry to one or some of them find that answer


I wish you luck with that.
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 37
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 8/4/2009 10:31:08 PM
the reality is that some of these women on here ARE serial daters. i've known some and still know some as friends. and yes, they go on multiple dates in a week but are still single. blame themselves, blame the guy, whatever it is, something somewhere ain't adding up. the "not willing to settle" and "i attract losers" excuse gets lame after a while.

they're not breaking the rules at all but this goes back to the serial dating thing. are they getting dates and it's not working out and they come right back here to start the process all over again with the same results week after week after week? or are they not getting dates and continuously signing up in the hopes that they will week after week after week? at some point, you gotta put the brakes on and figure something out that works and/or explore different avenues. i know i do.

i don't think signing up quick increases anyone's chances of getting a date. you're gonna be on the list no matter what. part of the problem is the restrictions they have in place in their mail settings. people are gonna focus on those that they can contact rather than those that they can't. if i was inclined to send a first contact email, that's how i'd play it. so if they're not meeting with success, some profile, picture, and mail settings tweaks should be in order to make them stand out from the crowd. that's what i do and it works without using the date night feature. and not being too picky helps too. i know we all have our personal preferences but at some point you gotta start getting realistic if your current situation ain't changing in your favor.

the date night feature can have a negative impact. if you're always on that list, you're either successfully getting dates yet constantly not meeting the right people which is a red flag. or you're not getting any attention and by signing up frequently kinda makes a person look desperate and lonely. that also could make other people question why they're always on the list to the point where they think something's wrong with that person. those are just my observations and i live in a large metro area.

new people on the list, i can see. occasionally on the list, that's fine too. every single week since the start of the feature? i speak for myself, that's a red flag to me. i understand your circumstances are different cuz of your area and populace so a lot of my opinion won't apply to people in your boat. but where i'm at, this is what i see and how i see it.
 marshfieldmale
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 38
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 8/4/2009 11:17:43 PM

the date night feature can have a negative impact. if you're always on that list, you're either successfully getting dates yet constantly not meeting the right people which is a red flag.


The "Date Night" feature has only been around for a few months. I'm not sure how you get the idea that just because a woman shows up on the list multiple times they're constantly not meeting the right people....they may not be meeting anyone, period.

I personally think you place way too much importance on how many times a woman shows up on this list. Maybe you should give them the benefit of the doubt rather than crucify them for wanting a date on any given Friday night.

Anyways, what's so terrible about a woman who is (in your terms) a "serial dater"? All I see that meaning is she likes to go out and have a good time, and is not ready to settle down. Really, there's nothing wrong with that. So that may not be your cup of tea? Then you say "pass" on the ones you see multiple times and move on...no need to make them feel bad because they simply want to be busy every Friday night.

I'm sure if I lived in a major metropolitan area again (I used to live in metro Detroit), and I used this Date Night feature and saw the same women on there multiple weeks, I'd just assume they didn't find a date the previous time and are trying again.

I sign up for it every week...that doesn't mean I'm desperate nor does it mean that I'm a serial dater (actually I've not been out on a date in six years). It simply means I too would like to go out on Friday night....I didn't find anyone the previous week and I want to give it another shot....nothing wrong with that, in my opinion.
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 39
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 8/4/2009 11:46:20 PM
Anyways, what's so terrible about a woman who is (in your terms) a "serial dater"? All I see that meaning is she likes to go out and have a good time, and is not ready to settle down.


and herein lies the problem. THEY ARE looking to settle down. chicks i know are pretty vehement about it too. chicks profiles i see are either long term or dating, not friends or hang out. people don't date for no reason. they date to find a suitable mate for sex or long term. i don't have a prob with chicks that are always on the dating scene. i DO have a prob when their actions contradict their words.

i explained the flip side of date night. maybe they aren't finding dates and that's fine. but as you said, the feature has been here a few months. let's say you lived where i live and you saw the same chicks signed up all the time since day one. and let's say you also signed up sometimes. let's say you were a match. let's say there's no contact restrictions. let's say you send an email to those you thought were a match with but they never reply. or let's say you didn't send any email but they never contacted you. so they want a date with someone that they should have a good time with (it's just a date after all) and both parties are available. but both of you are still sitting at home on a friday night.

not saying this has happened to me. i only signed up once and got no results. that was good enough for me. and of the multitude of chicks on the list, i could only contact maybe 4. i have no email restrictions so any of them could contact me, but it didn't happen. so the mail settings do play a part. and yes, some females do make first contact. actually, a lot do but not in this case.

nothing wrong with signing up week after week. just realize how some (not all) people will view it (depending on the metro area). but what i'm saying is if a person who signed up ain't getting the right results, they need to change who they choose to date, change what people see in their profile, and/or change their mail settings.

obviously your mileage will vary cuz of where you are. but think if you were back in detroit (when that local economy was good) and you really did see all these available females. you're signed up on one side, they're signed up on another. profiles match up. no email restrictions. yet both of you are always on the list all the time and you yourself ain't gettin' no dates. what would that say or look like to you? i'm curious.
 marshfieldmale
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 40
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 8/5/2009 1:15:57 AM

let's say you were a match. let's say there's no contact restrictions. let's say you send an email to those you thought were a match with but they never reply. or let's say you didn't send any email but they never contacted you. so they want a date with someone that they should have a good time with (it's just a date after all) and both parties are available. but both of you are still sitting at home on a friday night.


I'd just assume she didn't think I was the right one for her, shrug my shoulders, move on, and think nothing of it.


but what i'm saying is if a person who signed up ain't getting the right results, they need to change who they choose to date, change what people see in their profile, and/or change their mail settings.


That should be their choice. Your statement makes it appear like things should be done your way, the only right way.


but think if you were back in detroit (when that local economy was good) and you really did see all these available females. you're signed up on one side, they're signed up on another. profiles match up. no email restrictions. yet both of you are always on the list all the time and you yourself ain't gettin' no dates. what would that say or look like to you? i'm curious.


I would think that they didn't find my profile interesting enough to contact me, and I would keep trying. I do have that happen on the site as a whole (not necessarily on the Date Night feature) even though I am in a rural area, there are available women around here, and within 75 miles. My speculation is that they look at my profile, don't see anything that interests them, and move on. No offense taken. It doesn't make me feel like I'm any worse of a person, nor does it make me feel that the woman is any worse. That's the nature of internet dating. Yes, I do have filters on my email, like I don't want to date an older woman, nor do I want one who is into drugs, or married. On the other hand, when I look at a female's profile, I don't take offense when she has filters on her profile that exclude me. I guess the only time I take it personally when filters exist is when a woman contacts me, and then after she's made that contact, adjusts the filters so I cannot keep in contact...or she uses the block option. That's happened before, and it's not right, but what am I going to do? Forget about it and move on.

I've been on plenty of fish for two and a half years, and not had one date...it's frustrating, yes, but that doesn't mean I've given up. There are many good women that are members here and if one of them doesn't come along this Friday, I'll continue trying next Friday.
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 41
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 8/5/2009 7:16:47 AM
i applaud your gumption. i'm not judging or looking down on anyone. what i see is nothing more than observations. and based on my internet dating experience, i've developed a sense of how things work. and my eye is pretty keen if i do say so myself. i certainly don't know everything, nor will i ever. some things happen to me here that are just completely unexplainable. that's why i'm glad the forums exist so that i can generate discussion to possibly get answers and advice to improve my success and gain knowledge.

you're doing the right thing by moving on if you don't meet with success. that's what i do also but i also analyze the situation for understanding. i understand that some things just don't have the right answer and in those cases, you just gotta shake your head and shrug it off.

there's more to it than someone not being interested. people are on here for various reasons. not interested is the top reason but there are others. and if they're not interested, and a pattern develops, you gotta wonder why no one is biting or the wrong people are. that's why i say tweaks are in order for some people.


That should be their choice. Your statement makes it appear like things should be done your way, the only right way.


the only things on earth that should be done my way are the things i and i alone do. everyone else can and should do things their way cuz it's their life. but i do learn from my mistakes, from my experiences, and from others. if someone else's way is better, believe me, i'll certainly try it. it never, ever hurts to try something new at least once if it makes sense and no one and nothing will be hurt in the process.

within that 75 mile radius, are there a good selection of AVAILABLE women? meaning you can contact them? and would you be willing to go beyond that radius to increase your dating odds?
 marshfieldmale
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 42
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 8/5/2009 7:30:28 AM
within that 75 mile radius, are there a good selection of AVAILABLE women? meaning you can contact them? and would you be willing to go beyond that radius to increase your dating odds?


The "Date Night" feature does not allow for any options beyond 75 miles. I think the reasoning for that is to keep the feature with a local flavor.

The most I've seen within 75 miles, was the first week where there were 7 or 8 women signed up. At last check, this week there are three.

Beyond the "Date Night" feature, yes, I am always willing to go beyond 75 to talk to a woman...my search parameters are set at 100 miles (which actually is more, the plentyoffish mileage is painfully inaccurate) and have talked to one or two from the U.P. of Michigan and from Minnesota. I don't have a mileage filter on my profile.
 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 43
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 4/6/2011 12:47:18 PM
Didn't last two years. So much for it being a good feature. RIP.
 BigDan46
Joined: 6/8/2010
Msg: 44
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 7/19/2011 8:46:23 AM
They do and always have had that button.
 UglyFroggieCritter
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 45
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 7/19/2011 9:09:05 AM
Yeah, the button might be stuck on some pages, but try clicking it.

It's dead dead dead dead dead.
 TimeforFun42
Joined: 5/27/2013
Msg: 46
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 11/7/2014 11:21:32 AM
Interesting, I read through the various blogs on date night. Many members thought it was a good idea, and even Marcus commented that he thought it would give members a chance to stand out from others. I agree. Please bring it back.
 wolfmanitoba
Joined: 4/20/2014
Msg: 47
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 11/9/2014 8:51:20 AM
I've never seen this feature before. Much like the forum itself, not exactly a prominent feature on the main page!

But does it have to be Friday nights? I work Wednesday through Sunday, so my weekend is Monday-Tuesday.
 agoraphobic_insomniac
Joined: 8/13/2013
Msg: 48
New Feature: Date Night !
Posted: 11/9/2014 9:31:44 AM
It's a dead feature. No longer viable. Doubtful PoF will reinstate this.
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