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 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 54
sex on the first datePage 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
So you aren't a whore if you hold out until date #3 or date #5?

I've never had a secret number for sex...I don't buy into the waiting game or holding out so he 'respects' you. If I want to have sex with a date and we are feeling it, more often than not, it's going to happen.....If I'm thinking about how he's going to feel about me after the sex, it isn't...
 instride
Joined: 12/14/2007
Msg: 55
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sex on the first date
Posted: 12/10/2011 3:20:23 PM
This gal is not only cute, she's pretty right on with her response.

miss_contemplative
In my experience, if a man who is over 25 is sleeping with a woman on the first date, and decides he wants to see her again, even contemplate something with more substance with her...it is for the following reasons:

1) she gave awesome head
2) she was hotter than most women he's been with
3) she was really really good in bed
4) she sounded like she could add 2+2 without great concentration

Yes, he will consider her a whore if :

a) she did everything and anything he wanted (no challenge...she must do everyone)
b) she was average looking or looked even worse after his "beer goggles" were off
c) she had that starstruck "I'm in love" look on her face the next morning
d) acted like a wannabe porn-star
 jaxnorthcarolinakickboxer
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 56
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/10/2011 5:05:23 PM
I think that that rumor actually started with women and not men and their thoughts... We really dont care at all. If we have an interest in you whatso ever sexual or not we are going to want to sleep with you.... and whether it happens right away on the first date or not makes no difference whether we think your wa whore or not, gf material, or anything like that. Guys dont care, it doesnt matter to us. The difference between the guys who actually want to date you and the guys who are just using you for sex, you will only find after you sleep with them. Everyone wears a mask, everyone doesnt matter who you are and if you say your always upfront with everyone if its someone you really like there will be something your self concious about and will hide it and only when your absolutely comfortable with that person will you show your true self.... so sleeping with someone on the first date helps with that and pretty much says "well i'm into you enough to do this with me not much will scare me away". As for if she does that on her first date lol... again we dont care and i'm sure I can say this confidently for most guys... if we really like you WE DONT WANNA KNOW. I personally take it as a huge compliment because if i'm choosing you to go home with then your definately worth sleeping with because everyone always says i'm waaaaaayyyyyy too picky.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 57
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/10/2011 6:03:29 PM

If I have sex before I develop an emotional connection with the woman, I'm simply NOT going to feel anything about her after sex...

Trying to redevelop that interest in her is like trying to read all of a book when you already know how it ends.... It might happen, but interest is rapidly waning....


It's like putting the cart before the horse and expecting the horse to push it. It ain't gonna happen. That's why I don't do it.
 Derbin720
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 58
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/10/2011 8:35:25 PM
It really depends... if it's a planned out date, where I (the male) had to ask her out and plan a date and all that formal stuff, i wouldn't see her as a slut. Id figure that we both figured that the date went so well, that we should just spend the night.

If i meet a woman at a bar, and we have shallow drunken conversations and end up going home with one another, then i wouldn't expect much from the "relationship"
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 59
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/11/2011 2:27:28 AM

But thats a big part of it....
If I have sex before I develop an emotional connection with the woman, I'm simply NOT going to feel anything about her after sex...

For me sex isn't happening without feeling some emotional connection and feeling reciprocation of, (feigned or genuine).


Trying to redevelop that interest in her is like trying to read all of a book when you already know how it ends.... It might happen, but interest is rapidly waning

I don't understand why you have to 'redevelop' the interest? I mean, it was already there when you picked up the book. Do you consider sex to be the 'end' then?
 backla5h
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 60
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/11/2011 4:16:48 AM
Not at all. She is still very much girlfriend material. Every man wants a woman that is sexual. To say she is loose or a whore is just something to avoid commitment. Have a great day baby!
 bhri
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 61
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/11/2011 9:32:41 AM
It obviously depends on the man. There are still a lot of men that will think a woman is a whore or slut or some other derogatory term if she sleeps with him on the first date. Or they will lose respect for you (of course one has to wonder if they ever had any respect for you, or any woman, if they can think that way about you and not themselves).

It does appear that a lot of men here (not all) are perfectly fine with it if the situation was right and would not think poorly of you or themselves for it. And I do not think that they are just saying it to try and get women to have sex with them immediately But this is a skewed/self-selected population. The population of men that post here may just be more "enlightened" and not indicative of the population as a whole (which is what I tend to believe). These are men that would be more likely to post to try to be helpful (even if they totally disagree with my opinions I still feel that they are trying to be helpful).

My advice is that you really need to make a decision based on what will make you comfortable the next day. Certainly you should be comfortable with your decision. If you have doubts, are wavering, do not do it. It will be available tomorrow if you so choose. It is more likely that you will find someone (unfortunately, but true) that will possibly feel that you are a whore for having sex on the first date. Even though they did the same thing and most likely initiated and pursued it.

But be especially careful if this is someone who is in your circle of friends (or even a degree or two of separation - friend's friend, etc.). What can be said from an indiscreet acquaintance can be very hurtful and difficult to live down (even if you did nothing wrong).

Do not set some arbitrary number. Do what you you are comfortable with. That does not mean to have sex because you are feeling it. But also how will it make you feel tomorrow. Will you be wracked with anxiety because now you are thinking, "what does he think of me?"

If all he wants is sex, it will often only be evident after sex. It will not matter if it is the first, second, third, or whatever # date. Getting to know someone does not guarantee safety. But it often helps. Sex often means different things for men & women. For men, it often carries less emotion. Whether this is nature or nurture or both, I do not know.

In other words, it depends on who you are with. There are no guarantees.

And always insist on condoms:) Safety first.
 instride
Joined: 12/14/2007
Msg: 62
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sex on the first date
Posted: 12/11/2011 10:18:57 AM
What would be so wrong with sex BEFORE the first date.
That way, if we don't fit, then we wouldn't have to go out.
Just sayin'.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 63
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/11/2011 2:06:24 PM
^^^^ Been there...done that.....sex first meet...technically though it was sex AS the first meet....she opened the door in a tiny nightie, said hello and that was it!


 JackEsq
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 64
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/11/2011 9:31:49 PM
No sex on the first date.

No reason for it.
 FuntimesIBR
Joined: 11/20/2011
Msg: 65
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/12/2011 7:25:07 AM
I see nothing wrong with it,as adults /if there's a connection enjoy!A relationship will continue if there was sparks!If not,you had fun!
 SeaCatcher
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 66
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/12/2011 8:12:39 AM
I reel when I read this sort of stuff. After all it isn't just the woman who has sex on the first date, there is a man there as well. Why is it ok for him to have sex and not attract labels like "slut" "whore" or whatever, but not ok for a woman?
Personally I've never found discrimination thrown at me just because I had sex on the first date. If we got on, we dated beyond that first fantastic sexy encounter and got to know each other in other contexts. If we didn't get on well enough after sex, then we just parted ways. Nothing wrong with that. At least we knew what we wanted, both of us. Sex is about a relationship between two (or more) people and the balance of power is shared. The woman is not a pawn but a queen in the equation. Remember that.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 67
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/12/2011 4:41:36 PM

Since you can't read a man's mind.... to know whether or not he would truley respect you in the morning... Don't sleep with a guy on the first date.

I'd think the rule would be more like ``Do whatever you want to do,'' rather than worry about what he'll think of you.

After all it isn't just the woman who has sex on the first date, there is a man there as well.

Of course.

Why is it ok for him to have sex and not attract labels like "slut" "whore" or whatever, but not ok for a woman?

Because women who do like the woman I quoted above, allow men to get away with it by letting what they want to do take a back seat to the opinion of a hypocrite.
 Funguy1965
Joined: 11/24/2010
Msg: 68
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/12/2011 4:48:30 PM
never had anyone who didnt put out frist date . men r no different if they have sex with u frist date does that make then just a lay too. Can't judge by that sex is awesome weather right away or weeks later. We are all in lust most of our lives.
 Funguy1965
Joined: 11/24/2010
Msg: 69
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/12/2011 4:53:29 PM
ms micky has it right chemitry is right and sparks fly where u asked her out or not it is always good to go out again and again to see if it is worth much more. titles are bullsh-t not right to judge you men who do are a-holes to say the list cause u was in the sex act too so your a whore or slut as well.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 70
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/13/2011 11:56:23 AM
My large ego never would allow me the little boy attitude ..If she has sex with me on the first date it means she will do anyone .. my large ego tells me that if she can't keep her hands off me that soon ..it must mean that I am irresistible my charm and sex appeal has consumed her and made her throw caution to the wind ...and a woman who can't resist me is JUST the woman I want a relationship with.. heck I have met a woman before who the moment we met the only thing we needed was a place ..she said Hi I wrapped her in a hug and wet kiss and she said I know a place .. we hopped on my bike and within ten minutes we were making love ..Its amazing how a deep conversation two people can have laying in each others arms ..with sex already out of the way ..... and we had just such a conversation for about the next ten minutes ..and then it was on again ... this continued until the next morning ..and for several years there after
 cataclysm1987
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 71
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sex on the first date
Posted: 12/13/2011 12:43:23 PM
My last girlfriend and I made out and experimented with oral sex on the first date.

I still love her to this day even though she is pregnant with her ex boyfriends kid and doesn't really talk to me much any more.

I would never have sex on the first date if you think things are going somewhere for 3 reasons:

1. STDs
2. It leaves nothing to be desired for later dates
3. Yeah, it kinda makes you look like a desperate whore. Sorry.
 CaffeinePills
Joined: 11/24/2011
Msg: 72
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/13/2011 9:07:59 PM
Haha, it doesn't bother me. The last girl that I dated seriously, and called my GF, forced sex out of me on the first date. I was trying to be good, but that will only go so far, cuz I'm a guy after all lol.

We ended up dating for several months afterward, and having lots of fun. Sex was my favorite part of the relationship, but there was waaay more to it than just that. I eventually broke up with her, cuz she started smoking pot, and then started smoking pot WAAAAY too much.
 Sisyphus76
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 73
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/14/2011 12:43:33 PM

I won't say sex on the first date always ends in disaster, but it does carry significant risks.


The act of having sex with me will never be among the near infinite reasons for me to stop seeing someone.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 74
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/14/2011 3:43:14 PM
men who think that a woman they have had sex with on a first date is suddenly now a ho/slut or no longer girlfriend material an damaged goods are the biggest HYPOCRITES alive!! just like the men who have had sex with dozens of women in thier life an they in the same breath exspect to only want to marry an date a virgin because a woman who has been "touched" is filthy in thier eyes OH PLEASE give it a rest an get over yourself your the 1 out f ucking atleast shes still saving herself now who's filthy?

dude if she's a whore then what are you??? you didnt have to do it or be with her who made you? now shes a throw away because you wanted sex just as well or seduced her into it your throw away material as well an definatly not boyfriend material either, theres 2sides to a coin not 1side.
 Bobbi112484
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 75
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sex on the first date
Posted: 12/14/2011 6:23:13 PM
I completely agree with you MsMicki. I had sex with my bf on our first date and we both love each other very much. It was a mutual thing that we both wanted to do. I mean, we do joke around about having sex on our first date all the time. But, there was just chemistry between us. Neither one of thought the other one was a whore....lol
 Sisyphus76
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 76
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/14/2011 7:38:43 PM

dude if she's a whore then what are you??? you didnt have to do it or be with her who made you? now shes a throw away because you wanted sex just as well or seduced her into it your throw away material as well an definatly not boyfriend material either, theres 2sides to a coin not 1side.


Ouch!.. My brain!
 WinterIsComing80
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 77
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/15/2011 11:02:01 AM
I've never understood how guys can think a woman is a whore when they sleep together on the first date. What does that make the guy?

I've always believed that two consenting adults can do whatever the hell they want when they want to do it without judgement. Sure delaying gratification is always the better option but lets face the facts. The majority of people are impulsive and lack the patience to wait.
 Cougar673
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 78
sex on the first date
Posted: 12/15/2011 11:37:15 AM
There is no way I'd have sex on the first date. I am a very sexual being and sex is an important part of life to me, I just don't see why it would be a good idea on the first date.
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