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 meoww207
Joined: 12/29/2013
Msg: 179
sex on the first datePage 8 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
I hate slut shaming. So most of these responses are really annoying and invalid, in my opinion. If two people are consenting adults, they can do whatever the hell they want and shouldn't have to worry about feeling like a "slut." I've waited 8+ weeks to sleep with some men, and only once I've had sex on the first date.... and we ended up dating for 3.5 years. So really, it doesn't matter. I think also with online dating, you get to know someone for days/weeks through text, phone calls, email, etc before meeting so you already have a sense of feelings for them, and in my opinion, that is "less slutty" than meeting someone in a bar and having a one night stand.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 180
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History
sex on the first date
Posted: 1/6/2014 8:47:40 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^
Agreed. The right time to have sex is when both feel ready for it, whichever date that might be. And if we meet through this medium sometimes there's enough mental foreplay to put us far down the path by the time we finally meet in person.

Years back I met a woman online who lived halfway across the country, but the spark was strong and after weeks of messages and calls I drove 24 hours for our first date. By the time I got there the anticipation had built so strong for both of us that sex was our first order of business. We dated for months after that and it was the distance, not early sex, that ultimately prompted us to move on.

Other times I've patiently worked through an extended get to know you phase before getting that far, because that's what felt right at the time.

I'm not much for rules or generalizations. I trust my instincts and strive to stay tuned in to her level of interest and comfort as well. Then whatever happens happens when it's right.
 EricTheBrave
Joined: 12/31/2013
Msg: 181
sex on the first date
Posted: 1/11/2014 11:07:04 PM
I had sex on a first date exactly one time. We later married and remained married for 23 years. We never thought of each other as "easy" and it was never discussed by us in a derisive manner.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 182
sex on the first date
Posted: 1/12/2014 4:05:41 AM
Been with woman during a normal date acted like they were frisky and wanted the ultimate....wouldnt cross the line only because Im looking for more and that usually is a sign of the moment....guys are the same in that respect but Im at this point in my life arent geared like that!
 that_ol_lady
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 183
sex on the first date
Posted: 1/12/2014 9:06:47 AM
I think if 2 people decide to have sex on a first meet/date then that's their decision..

not everything turns into a 1nite stand..if both people are mature an open enough to realize that an want to continue things..

but I think it is totally bulls hit an hypocritical say for example a man lies to woman an goes on to pursue her for sex on a first date then turn around an call her a ho an that she is no longer girlfriend material..

how this 1 sided dumb thinking came into play I don't know..

if the guy thinks she is a ho well he is an even bigger ho in fact a fake ass shady type because A) he knew what he was after in the first place B) he lied his way through the situation an C) rather then man up an realize that it was a situation where he could still get to know the woman an continue seeing her..

he has now chosen to go about it acting like a shady hypocritical b itch..

D) over all men who do this an have that kind of attitude are fake b itches with a weak sex game anyways...
 that_ol_lady
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 184
sex on the first date
Posted: 1/13/2014 9:09:47 AM
I wont disagree an say that there aren't some very naïve people out here who are honest an hope to expect the person they talk to or get involved with are also being honest an wont screw them over...

an yes there are some very good manipulators out here who will play along to what a person says that want an even go all out till they get what they were after..

they are called scammers an players and they are everywhere some even get under the radar..
 EricTheBrave
Joined: 12/31/2013
Msg: 185
sex on the first date
Posted: 1/14/2014 9:23:46 AM
Doria wrote:

"You may well have, of another woman"

I may well have. The point I'm trying to put across: Be leery of hard and fast rules. Sex, no sex, forget about it. Just let the evening unfold.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 186
sex on the first date
Posted: 1/24/2014 3:16:32 AM
Ive never expected that but in my dating experiences but have felt the womans wants.......geuss its modern times
 bobk8262
Joined: 12/8/2012
Msg: 187
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History
sex on the first date
Posted: 1/24/2014 11:39:09 AM
I had sex with my ex wife on first date. We were married 20 years so yes I am ok with it
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 188
sex on the first date
Posted: 1/24/2014 3:01:52 PM

The women who have sex on the first date aren't "whores" or anything like that (that's such a misogynistic term) - but they are miscalculating. Let the attraction and chemistry grow for a couple of dates and the payoff is a lot better for both.

I agree under most normal circumstances of meet-girl-from-bar/online-in-town-for-1st-date scenario. I agree, as a guy, if she's someone you want to be datING, don't actively try and move it toward going back to your place to pork.

However, it becomes a more difficult situation when you really like the girl as a relationship-quality type, but She is pushing for the porking at the end of that 1st date. Sure, you can have a heavy makeout session and then some a bit, but cut her off. Easier said than done, though. :)
 Zombiedust31
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 189
sex on the first date
Posted: 2/16/2014 8:09:04 AM
In my honest opinion, and fighting a constant battle with, the truth of the matter in my eyes is that it doesn't matter what he thinks. Reason being is that you're BOTH adults, to me there is no true protocol as to when the time is right and when it isn't. Sex is not to be used as a tool and it's not something that makes or breaks a relationship of any kind.

If you've built a foundation prior to the first date and YOU feel comfortable letting it get that far then do it, as long as you set boundaries prior to it and communicate with him you should have at least a fair mindset before doing anything. If you're on the date and everything seems to be going well and you don't feel like sleeping with him, whatever your reasons are, then don't!

With the above being said, and while I'm far from an expert, with my past experiences it has gone both ways: Either we continue to see each other and form a good relationship or we don't. Bottom line is though that if you know the consequences prior to (meaning: he may not call you afterwards or heck maybe you won't call him, why leave it solely in his hands!) sleeping with him then why not? Again, you're both adults and so long as it's consensual then what's the big deal? If you're that worried about what HE thinks then I'd suggest waiting because you can't get anywhere in life if you base everything off of what others think, you're just as valuable and what you think matters equally.
 that_ol_lady
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 190
sex on the first date
Posted: 2/16/2014 11:07:56 AM
LOOK if 2 people decide to hookup on the first date/meet...fine that is them an what they both wanted to do..

I don't think it has to be 90days later or the 3rd date later.. to hell wit all the so called dating rules..

if 2 people want to get down an have some sexual fun go for it! an there is no law that says hey if you f uck the first nite you cant go back the next nite or week an f uck again hell me personally I expect that if I hookup wit somebody that we will be doing it ALL again very soon an I also expect that we will stay in contact via communication with each other

an YES if 2 people have an open heart an open mind guess what it can lead to dating its not unheard of at all..

I don't care for 1niters specially if something is good why just have it 1 time the f uck is the point of that ohh that was so good I think I will never have that again.."urrr"

now on the other hand for the men who are not mature enough to carry on an see or contact the woman again after a first meet hookup maybe yal outta take a personal time out an go stand in the corner till a light bulb in your head goes off..

also as well if your a man who thinks a woman is a slut for sexing on the first nite an all of a sudden she is used goods once again get up go find a corner to stand in with your head against the wall you big ass hypocrite..
 seekinganactiveone
Joined: 12/25/2013
Msg: 191
sex on the first date
Posted: 3/6/2014 10:51:24 AM
Halcyon_Skies said it plainly on PAGE 1.

Too bad a woman made the first comment and so on....I'd love to hear comments from the men more than the women.

We basically know what women will say because we are women.

Let's hear more from the men....
 Westernguy
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 192
sex on the first date
Posted: 3/6/2014 11:00:30 AM

do u automatically think she does this on all her first dates??


Of course !!!!

Is a guy supposed to think he's so irresistible that she just couldn't help herself and made him an exception ????


However, I wouldn't hold it against her since it takes two to tango.



Westernguy
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 193
sex on the first date
Posted: 3/7/2014 2:17:10 PM

do u automatically think she does this on all her first dates??



Of course !!!!
Is a guy supposed to think he's so irresistible that she just couldn't help herself and made him an exception ????
However, I wouldn't hold it against her since it takes two to tango.
Westernguy


It must be horrible to go through life thinking any woman who has sex with you would have sex with any other date she has. Haven't you ever met someone and the sparks were just exploding all over?
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 194
sex on the first date
Posted: 3/8/2014 8:11:43 AM

Sure you can say that, but so often I hear about women who have sex with strangers and that is what they are, really,on a first date are inevitably just pumped and dumped and lament about it. Or they are seen as just booty call from thereon in. If I was keen on a guy I would want to wait a while until I trusted him and there was something more in it, but that is me.


There are people that had sex on the first date and eventually had LTRs. Waiting for sex doesn't always help though. Some people had sex on the third or the fourth date. But never heard from the other person again. ( Or some other problems developed between them. ) Some players are willing to wait because they see it as a challenge. Or they have no better prospects at the moment. The bottom line is 2 people should have sex whenever they are ready and comfortable with it/ Whether it's the first date, third date, or sometime after that.
 IgottaName
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 195
sex on the first date
Posted: 1/30/2016 9:18:14 PM
I think highly of a woman that knows what she likes and isn't afraid to ask for it. So do I think she's a whore? Absolutely not. there two people having sex on their first date, and if I don't think badly of myself what makes her any different. Is she girlfriend material? I'd actually put that in the plus column, as long has her attitude towards sex were healthy. If she using sex to make up for low self esteem or as a weapon, that's not healthy for any gender. Do I think she automatically does this on all first date? Don't care, it's none of my damned business what her personal choices are.
 IgottaName
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 196
sex on the first date
Posted: 1/31/2016 5:18:15 PM
That was a reference to the OP's statement that the guy had said that he had a lot of slutty friends. I was pointing out out his attitude toward women, not reflecting on my own.

You seem a bit trollish...
 dreamyvisions
Joined: 4/1/2011
Msg: 197
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History
sex on the first date
Posted: 2/21/2016 11:24:34 PM
Whores charge for sex,hoes in my opinion are people that lie about the sex they are having--or sleep with people they dont even like--they do it just to get off. I dont look at a woman diffrently if she gives it up the first time meeting,if she has a history of doing it tho-frequantly does it then shes not my cup of tea. I like to please but not someone any random person can climb on top of. Ive met women off of here and had sex with them the first time we met--we talked online and over the phone for months tho before meeting regularly
 oneday57
Joined: 10/17/2015
Msg: 198
sex on the first date
Posted: 2/23/2016 4:46:23 AM
Never tried nor never asked....if i wanted that I would be in the bars.....got-em in there.....regular dating "if there's such a thing anymore"....should be about learning about who your chasing....lol
 cocoblack80
Joined: 2/21/2016
Msg: 199
sex on the first date
Posted: 2/24/2016 12:32:31 PM
If 2 people consider themselves grown an have a good sexual vibe between each other whether its the first meet or 5th meet an both of them are mentally an physically attracted to each other then i dont see what the problem is..an any man who considers a woman a slut for having sex on a first date/meet an now looks down at her is the biggest dam hypocrite an should point the finger at himself if he wants to play that game..just because 2 people hookup on a first meet doesnt mean it only is going to be a 1 nighter in many cases folks end up dating married or long term buddies..
 Strider324
Joined: 2/17/2016
Msg: 200
sex on the first date
Posted: 2/28/2016 2:05:35 PM
When a woman tells me she has a 'dating rule' of no sex until date 3, 5 25, whatever, I immediately lose interest in her. She's telling me that she sees her sexuality as a 'prize' for me to look forward to, which trivializes all the more important pillars of a good relationship.

When a woman says "Let's have sex when we both decide we want to", then I know I'm dealing with a fully grown ass woman, and my respect for her goes up exponentially.

IME first date sex is rare, but it happens. Never felt a need to pass judgment on humans being human.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 201
sex on the first date
Posted: 2/28/2016 2:40:45 PM
[quote[The bottom line is 2 people should have sex whenever they are ready and comfortable with it/ Whether it's the first date, third date, or sometime after that.

Agreed. There isn't a general right time about when to have sex. Having sex on the first date doesn't necessarily make a woman a "slut" or a man a "player" that is only looking for sex. Not an actual relationship.
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 202
sex on the first date
Posted: 2/28/2016 6:12:31 PM


When a woman tells me she has a 'dating rule' of no sex until date 3, 5 25, whatever, I immediately lose interest in her. She's telling me that she sees her sexuality as a 'prize' for me to look forward to, which trivializes all the more important pillars of a good relationship.


While I completely agree with this I have never had the conversation this way.



When a woman says "Let's have sex when we both decide we want to", then I know I'm dealing with a fully grown ass woman, and my respect for her goes up exponentially.


This conversation has happened with a couple of women I have dated, but for the most part there has been no pressure and the sex happened fairly naturally. I am not the most perceptive guy in the world, usually it is me that gets led by the hand to a bedroom but occasionally the conversation/body language made it clear to me the time was right.



IME first date sex is rare, but it happens. Never felt a need to pass judgment on humans being human.


Not a guy this happens to or maybe I never read the signs right. Grin
But to my own shame it would affect how I would see her and a ltr would likely not happen.
 AlphaCuck
Joined: 5/20/2015
Msg: 203
sex on the first date
Posted: 2/29/2016 8:04:26 AM
Here's one for you... I wouldn't even mind if she had sex with someone else on OUR first date! In fact it's a bit of a fantasy of mine!
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