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 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 108
women as pure sexual objectsPage 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
God I wish someone would treat me like a sexual object right NOW! LOL, only a few more hours and maybe he will!

I got banned for telling someone who called those of us who actually like sex an uptight prude (Bad Bethie, I should be spanked) so I will refrain from doing so again.

But if I am in the mood, and giving you all the 'Go' signals, feel free to treat me as a sexual object. Preferably one you adore and want to play with all night long! It has nothing to do with self respect, or self-esteem, all it has to do with is me wanting to get some and you being attractive, ready, willing and able. It helps if you're my boyfriend, but if I'm single, it's fair game!

For real, when are we going to all grow up and realize that men and women BOTH like sex, and as long as you are safe, consentual, and of legal age, what you do is your business! Don't get it twisted, I'm not condoning cheating, or being unsafe, but the whole idea that women who have sex and enjoy it are 'sluts' is just so stupid. It's about time that everyone realized that men are having sex with SOMEONE to rack up those numbers, and it's not just one girl sitting at the bar, taking turns.

And ladies, quit lying to guys about how many men you've slept with. Just tell them it's unimportant, and not up for discussion, but quit telling them the standard "3". Every time I hear that, I almost choke laughing.

I'm getting off of my soapbox now. Can someone give me a hand, it's a bit dangerous in these 6 inch platforms! But they match the outfit!

Beth
 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 109
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 10/2/2009 7:49:50 PM
I wouldn't know, nor am I a part of that 80 %...
 lookn4goodtime
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 110
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 10/2/2009 8:16:12 PM
I mean, right now Im looking for fwb with women but even then, I dont suggest sex on the first date becasue I really do want to get to know them eventhough at some point we agree that sex will be involved. I'm no opposed to sex on the first meeting if we have been chatting for awhile on l ine and we are both ok wtih it.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 111
view profile
History
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 10/2/2009 8:19:27 PM
GoodWitchBeth: "but quit telling them the standard "3". Every time I hear that, I almost choke laughing."

Boy, where does that leave me. The only woman I've ever had intimacy with was my ex-wife. I must be a laughing stock.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 112
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 10/2/2009 9:43:37 PM
Honey, I was talking to the women with big numbers who lie like dogs to keep men in the dark about how many sexual partners they have really had. It just perpetuates the 'slut' stereotypes and demeans the intellect of men. I mean, where do the guys think their girls learned all those wonderful techniques? Books? LOL

If you only have had one sex partner, that is certainly fine, but you are in the minority. But you see, being a man, you would be seen as not having 'game' because you haven't racked up a ton of notches on the bedpost. Isn't that ludacrist that it is exactly opposite for men and women?

This drives me nuts. I say quit counting your partners altogether, and worry about keeping the one you're with happy! As long as you are safe, healthy and happy, that's all that matters in the long run.

Beth
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 117
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/26/2010 1:55:56 PM
mbade, are you saying that anyone who does not believe in wasting precious time and likes having sex right away is a slut? My oh my! Well, you should just be glad men are interested in you at all. Other women I've met, even some very attractive ones (yes it's true) who did not get any male attention were pissed off over that. Then you get the attention just not in the exact form you would like it and you complain.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 118
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/26/2010 3:14:23 PM
Some men like myself view sex as part of the getting to know you process. I want someone that is going to be able to meet my sexual needs/ requirements flly and just because my date has a great personality it is not going to negate the fact that I have my sexual needs/requirements.

One thing is that my date has to prove that they can meet my sexual needs/requirements and not just say they like to do this and this.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 120
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/26/2010 4:04:02 PM

One thing is that my date has to prove that they can meet my sexual needs/requirements and not just say they like to do this and this.

You really should just have a conversation first, if they are mortified by your appetite, fetishes/kinks, or lack thereof, you'll save a lot of wasted "getting to know you" fuks and might actually get to know someone for more than just what her sexual aptitude is or is not.

why is it thta 80 percent of men say they are okay getting to know you and within five minutes go into the do you do sex on first meeting i am not aqgainst sex but i am no cheap slut what are other veiws on this

OY!! That label went out far too long ago to even be used anymore in my opinion, but it seems so popular here ~ go figure!

~OT~ If you aren't happy with the conversation, hang-up or walk out. If you don't like the context of an email ~ read/delete it. No need to get all up in arms about it, it happens. This is a virtual world, not real. People can type/say anything they want without worrying about a jaw dropping on the receiving end. It's just the way it is. Don't like it, don't pay attention to it. Like stated above: open, read, frown in disgust, block. Problem solved. JMO
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 121
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/26/2010 4:12:42 PM

You really should just have a conversation first


Yes of course a conversation has to take place first but there also has to be proof that my dates are who they say they are.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 122
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/26/2010 5:08:41 PM

why is it thta 80 percent of men say they are okay getting to know you and within five minutes go into the do you do sex on first meeting

They do that to women they don't find particularly attractive OR the woman's talking dirty a lot and very open & candid herself about sexual things. If he doesn't find her particularly attractive, he can just put his all his chips out on the table and ask that. If she says "Well I never!" so what? Ya don't find her attractive -- what's there to lose of any importance? If he doesn't find her particularly attractive, he's less likely to work the situation over several weeks to have sex.

i am not aqgainst sex but i am no cheap slut what are other veiws on this

Cheap? So.... we're basically talking about price range, then? The more a woman refers to "putting out" or not "putting out", the more of an object she is making of herself.

I see what you're saying though. My tip would be not to put forth an image that you want to have sex for fun, if that's not your thang. In one's profiles, fashion, and conversation, you can't have your cake & eat it, too. What I mean by that is, you can't put forth a "I am sexy, love sex", etc., to attract guys, then cry foul when they blatantly ask to have sex so quickly. And of course, if a guy's going to travel a nice distance to see you, or he's a better looking/younger guy that what's in your "league", you can pretty much bet that he's just looking for sex.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 124
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/27/2010 8:55:47 AM

They do that to women they don't find particularly attractive OR the woman's talking dirty a lot and very open & candid herself about sexual things. If he doesn't find her particularly attractive, he can just put his all his chips out on the table and ask that. If she says "Well I never!" so what? Ya don't find her attractive -- what's there to lose of any importance? If he doesn't find her particularly attractive, he's less likely to work the situation over several weeks to have sex.

For the most part, this is something that I will never understand. Why would you WANT to bring up or have sex with a woman you're not particularly attracted to? Unless you're counting on her walking away - and in that case, why not just end a conversation or meeting early without the games and not go there in the first place?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 125
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/27/2010 11:12:01 AM

For the most part, this is something that I will never understand. Why would you WANT to bring up or have sex with a woman you're not particularly attracted to? Unless you're counting on her walking away - and in that case, why not just end a conversation or meeting early without the games and not go there in the first place?

Here's an analogy, and these two things are -not- the same, although loosely related... People who are open to casual flings when out on the dating market while "looking for" a relationship. It brings up a similar question -- why just a casual affair with someone and not a relationship, if you're looking for a relationship? Because they're not THAT into (attracted to) the person, that's why.... but still game for a casual encounter. Someone can be not relationship-worthy, but can be hang-out-worthy.... or "just for fun" worthy when-in-a-particular mood, ya know? Everyone's not LTR-or-bust when out in the dating circuit, even when looking for a relationship-worthy person.

When it's all said and done, a sexual affair can be an attractive endeavor, when the other person involved isn't particularly attractive by itself. Alcohol helps make that more of a considerable option - lol
 anonymouslyme
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 126
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/27/2010 11:21:53 AM

i am not aqgainst sex but i am no cheap slut what are other veiws on this
I don't think you're a cheap slut either.

There's all kinds of people in this world, each with their own agenda. I don't know about the 80% thing, but some men are just looking to get women into bed as quickly as possible. Then again, some women are looking for the same thing. My opinion, a guy that asking you if you'll have sex with him on the first meeting has no respect for you, and he's just let the cat out of the bag as far as what HIS agenda is. If it doesn't match yours, well, at least you found out early, no?

Try not to get offended.. it's nothing personal. Just excuse yourself from the conversation, and keep looking for the one who's agenda matches yours. Best of luck!
 tayl0rd
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 127
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/27/2010 11:25:54 AM
I think I'll cosign what C-R just said. Just because a guy (or gal) is out looking for a LTR doesn't mean he has to be abstinent in the meantime. I've come across a few women that I'd like to have sex with but they aren't my "ideal" mate when it comes to a deeper relationship, and they accused me of "not really looking for a relationship." Just because I don't want a relationship with them doesn't mean I'm not looking. I am looking for a LTR, just not with them. It's usually just something about her personality or general attitude that keeps me from not wanting to go "all in" to pursue a real relationship with her.

Personality differences don't mean you can't bump uglies from time to time. The "friends with benefits" phrase didn't become popular for no reason! ;) (Just wish it wasn't so hard to find one! LOL)
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 128
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/27/2010 12:03:19 PM

Here's an analogy, and these two things are -not- the same, although loosely related... People who are open to casual flings when out on the dating market while "looking for" a relationship. It brings up a similar question -- why just a casual affair with someone and not a relationship, if you're looking for a relationship? Because they're not THAT into (attracted to) the person, that's why.... but still game for a casual encounter. Someone can be not relationship-worthy, but can be hang-out-worthy.... or "just for fun" worthy when-in-a-particular mood, ya know? Everyone's not LTR-or-bust when out in the dating circuit, even when looking for a relationship-worthy person.

Actually I thought people had casual relationships with people they were attracted to, but didn't match up with in other ways conducive to a relationship. How much better is sex with someone you're not THAT attracted to than sex alone or no sex at all? In fact, casual sex tends to be the place where you want the hottest person you can find since there's nothing else about them is long term oriented.

If I was looking for a relationship, I'd be more apt to let hotness slide a bit for a man who had other great qualities I was looking for in the total package.

When it's all said and done, a sexual affair can be an attractive endeavor, when the other person involved isn't particularly attractive by itself. Alcohol helps make that more of a considerable option - lol

I guess that's just not for me, if I don't consider someone really attractive. I'd rather just crack a book and skip the whole thing.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 129
view profile
History
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/27/2010 12:41:05 PM
80% of men only want sex, you have to be joking..... what are you dating 16 year olds,
sounds like it
most men i know want a relationship, and yes sex is important, great sex is even better
if you look at american stats 56% of married women have sex with another man, only 35 % of american men cheat
we want love just as much as women
sex on the first date, it happened to me once, it lasted for 7 years, we ended up married
 tayl0rd
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 130
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/27/2010 12:47:30 PM

want to travel said: ...if you look at american stats 56% of married women have sex with another man, only 35 % of american men cheat...


Where'd you get those stats??
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 131
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/27/2010 1:40:35 PM
Why even care so much about what many other people may think? Unless their someone of prominence in your life. I believe your stretching the truth by saying that's most men consider a woman a slut if she puts out fast. I've heard women say that as well about other woman. So it's not just men. Besides anyone who could be this analytical and narrow minded would be an ass. And therefore they would likely not be relationship material as well.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 132
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/27/2010 2:56:17 PM

OY!! That label went out far too long ago to even be used anymore in my opinion, but it seems so popular here ~ go figure!


They would do that here! lol
The fora is for many who are still & maybe forever into the whine mood. lol

imo, the title being a sexual object is stupid, cuz who ever is on the other receiving is not complaining! Women make their choices in what capacity what deems necessarily & satisfying to them. You may not be getting laid but that's your problem not theirs. lol



~OT~ If you aren't happy with the conversation, hang-up or walk out. If you don't like the context of an email ~ read/delete it

True! If it's not your cup of tea,move on. I went to a big birthday party a while back & liked this one girl. And just about all the men took & turns in putting their hands down her pants as they wished her a happy birthday. OK.... lol
So,needless to say, I guess I'm just out of touch with these clubs as it made me think of the hippies & having their communal sex thingy! lol
So as V- green-eyes said, chose what preferences that coincide with yours.

And as special too me as sex & intimacy is,only a s/o should be there & not the whole group thingy. jmo & too each there own.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 133
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/27/2010 7:48:30 PM

Actually I thought people had casual relationships with people they were attracted to, but didn't match up with in other ways conducive to a relationship.

Yes, that's one reason why -- personality/matchability problem. Another very common one is that they're EHHH, OK looking in their eyes, on a level they wouldn't have too much trouble finding on that scale, but yeah, they want someone more special in looks when it comes to an actual relationship... but hey, a little fling or one-night stand? Totally different set of thoughts. Main point is that it can be looks, not (just) personality/matchability, which makes someone just want to fool around with someone. I mean, for most sober guys, they can't be ugly to them or anything. But when it comes to the thought of just having sex -- again, that notion of sexual relations becomes attractive in and of itself if she's not ugly.

How much better is sex with someone you're not THAT attracted to than sex alone or no sex at all?

As a disclaimer, I'm not applying this to every guy, just a common thing. Okay, to answer: Depends -- how long has it been that they've had sex? Years? Tons of mileage on their skin flute since their last oil change? The more that is, the more the mere notion of sexual relations becomes more attractive than another day at the solo-flute parade.

In fact, casual sex tends to be the place where you want the hottest person you can find since there's nothing else about them is long term oriented.

Well, yeah, that'd be ideal. But guys and girls are a bit different. Guys won't have their ideal situations for flings at hand very readily as girls can. Hence, many guys who are thinking about casual sex are like water or electricity -- they go down the path of least resistance of those they find sexually desirable... if they can't get the ideal one, they'll (golf term) "lay up" for the average Jane if that is available.

A lot of guys who pick up a hottie, if they can rarely ever get a hottie at all, are actually probably going to want more than just a fling if they're single and she's single and she doesn't throw him back due to a crazy personality or something.

If I was looking for a relationship, I'd be more apt to let hotness slide a bit for a man who had other great qualities I was looking for in the total package.

I think that goes both ways, too, sure. Here's where I'm coming from about a decent amount of people:
- When judging relationship-worthy, yes, it's not about THE hottest, but there is a threshold of physical attraction they should have. To many, it's a generally a good looking gal in their eyes.

- When he says "Naw, she's not that good looking... she's not ugly or anything... her looks just aren't my style", ie it doesn't hit his taste threshold, he MAY be open to a casual fling.

- A casual fling many times has a LOWER threshold "bar" in terms of what he'll be willing to roll with. Many guys are willing to take what they can get.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 135
view profile
History
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/29/2010 7:20:47 AM
women make themselves sex objects, look at how much they spend, time and money to look sexy
men are the true fools and sex objects, they have given all the power to women, women who as a rule have 2 or 3 times as much sex as men,just look at this stat, 57% of married women in north america have sex outside of there marriage, men only 36%
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 136
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/29/2010 7:51:52 AM

Many guys are willing to take what they can get.

I see nothing but evidence of this everywhere - why they think they HAVE to take anything is beyond me. The path of least resistance doesn't always lead to good situations - but as long as they don't complain to others about what they choose and/or any consequences - their choices are their business.

Men can forego all options if none are ideal - if they choose to "work with what's in front of them" then they get what they ask for.
 venndiagram
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 137
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/29/2010 3:59:55 PM

Another very common one is that they're EHHH, OK looking in their eyes, on a level they wouldn't have too much trouble finding on that scale, but yeah, they want someone more special in looks when it comes to an actual relationship...


This is the part I never can understand about people. To me, and any person I would be interested in, it's about who the person is. Of course there has to be attraction- but if they are attractive enough for me to have sex with, that's my threshold.

The only way I would discount someone as relationship material would be if I could not see myself having sex with them. That's a pretty wide range of men. Personality-wise? Way smaller pond.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 138
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/29/2010 4:19:13 PM

it's about who the person is


I strongly disagree with this, it may be about who the person if you are wanting a long term relationship but if you want sex there personality is not going to make me want to have sex with the them. I have to be physically attracted to the person I am with or sex is just not going to happen, literally I will not be able to perform.
 venndiagram
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 139
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/29/2010 5:06:48 PM
Maybe I wasn't clear. It's about the person for me to be interested in him- I was responding to the notion that a guy would need a higher level of physical attractiveness for a ltr than just sex. I need a higher degree of being attracted to the personality for a ltr.

Obviously for either, one needs a reasonable amount of physical attraction.
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