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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?      Home login  
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 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 26
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?Page 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
It's a shame some men put women in the position of having to snoop to find out the truth. My friend went through hell over this and is heartbroken by what he is doing.
He denies it and denies it even though he knows she saw what he was doing.
She is extremely upset and confused about it all.
 LaughterReigns
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 27
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 12:32:32 PM
A piece of advice - tell your friend to get out! He will not change, and things will most likely only get worse. Tell her there are nice, honest men out there and leave him to his fantasy women. He is LYING, no matter how she tries to convince herself otherwise (believe me, I know). She will be the only one hurt -- he'll be just fine. If she likes emotional rollercoasters, tell her to stay. Otherwise, she can get off the ride because it will come to a crashing halt, and it won't be fun. I wish her well.
 776877
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 28
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 12:41:38 PM
If you feel you have to snoop then there is CLEARLY an issue at hand...when you smell smoke there generally is a fire. Doing anything illegal to find out what someone is doing is WRONG, period. If your friend is so confused then ask her why she hasn't left him yet...the answer being..'.he's a really nice guy in so many other ways and we are really good for each other', or similar will issue from her mouth. Its her call, you gave her your opinion.


As for calling him a pervert puulleez! I can bet you a dollar fifty that there are things you are into that someone somewhere thinks is pervy and possibly illegal, would you like it if someone described you as a perv? Try not to be so judgmental and outraged, after all its between your friend and the guy she is STILL with
 andyaa
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 29
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 12:47:16 PM
'It's a shame some men put women in the position of having to snoop to find out the truth'

What and you don't think 'some women' don't either.

Not here to discuss who is worse than who...

As soon as you start thinking 's/he's up to something' the relationship's as good as dead. You either find out something and it's over or you don't then you have the issues.

Most people are giving examples of partners that are out and out going behind their backs. Yours is a little different, he's sitting on the computer for hours and hours at a time, you hardly have to snoop, just ask him, or walk in on him.

Most people when they have been caught, the first think that comes from their mouths are lies, fight or flight reaction. Thing is she has 'caught' him rather than have him explain himself.
 italianboy_77
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 30
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 12:48:27 PM
I cant believe this question is even being asked....give him an ultimatum...the porn or u, plain and simple. I think porn itself is pointless but for a guy to keep looking at it and hiding it from his spouse makes him an untrustworthy dumbshit and should be kicked to the curb
 ic3y369
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 31
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:39:51 PM
lmfao!
sounds like it should have never started in the first place...
she has trust issues and he isnt even attracted to her anymore...
shouldnt he be in the room ****ing her rather then playing around
stranger prolly halfway across the world??? lets just say ...
it was probably meant to be... they are both dysfunctional in their own ways

maybe she should work on not invading his privacy thats sick and wrong
is she a control freak? maybe she should get a pet...
at least they will heel , sit or roll over on command XD
 jamnmamabear
Joined: 6/12/2009
Msg: 32
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/18/2009 6:49:35 PM
Dog has indeed the loyal beast qualities we women seek in our man...sigh... I don't understand why the woman won't make the decision to end the relationship... if she caught him, and he has been lying, well, enough said! It is easy for us all to say so, yet when in the relationship we all know it's much harder to do! (I speak from experience about this as well!!)
But, i think if there is something positive to say about what he did, at least he wasn't going for a drive every night and bringing home some disease she will have to live with long after she has booted his butt out the door! (unless he was doing this while she was at work during the day!)
Sometimes we women hang on in hopes that we can change him, she needs a little courage and some counselling - even phone a help line - and something she can find in herself - self esteem, pride, self respect...I wish her the strength to put his bags to the curb - and let him keep the computer - it's just a bad memory!
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 33
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/18/2009 8:51:05 PM
Why hasn't anyone asked the question? Did she bother ASKING him BEFORE installing the keystroke logger what he was doing?

I read through the posts and didn't see if that was the case, so if it was, ignore me

If I am doing something that "she" feels is suspect I expect her to have the maturity to ask me straight up. If she sneaks behind my back like a untrusting little snoop (without asking me about it first) - she's gone, out the door in a heartbeat, no questions asked - I can't stand snoops. Have the intestinal fortitude to ask me about it or go away.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 34
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 6:59:44 AM
He always has told her he never so much as talks to any other women and he told her
he just sits there at the computer while he watches TV.

She says she tells him every single thing about her life and what she does and he claims he does the same.

To the above poster, if you were in a relationship with someone who had a secret gambling problem would you want to find out about it? Or some other type of addiction that they kept hidden? People with addictions often keep them well hidden and lie about it.
 clambroth
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 35
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:35:50 AM
He was lying about porn. HOWEVER, what your friend did was criminal. Seriously criminal. The fact that she's still with this guy in spite of her ill gotten information tells me she is a criminal and a loser. He is just a loser
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 36
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:40:26 AM
^^^^^^^It is NOT criminal, it is LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL .

Her authorized use of the computer makes it legal. A-HOLE!
 clambroth
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 37
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:03:57 AM
It is not legal and it is criminal in spite of your childish Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah Nyah rant. Just like a wiretap or putting a hidden camara in a bathroom. Just because you are allowed to use the bathroom doesn't mean you can use it criminally. By using your distorted assholic female logic then - just because I don't have a sign posted by my house that says "Please don't burglarize" it is okay to burglarize? You're a dope
 Reveal1K
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 38
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:35:24 PM
It's a shame some men put women in the position of having to snoop to find out the truth. My friend went through hell over this and is heartbroken by what he is doing.
He denies it and denies it even though he knows she saw what he was doing.
She is extremely upset and confused about it all.

It's a shame that men can't even have a private life outside of their relationship. That's what's sad. The guy looks at porn. News flash, MOST GUYS DO. Get over it. And that's a pretty weird fantasy of his. I don't blame him for wanting to keep that sh*t to himself. But it's not anymore, thanks to his scooby-doo detective girlfriend.

She went as far as to get on his computer and used a key logger to see what he's doing.
She should break up with him. The guy deserves better than her.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 39
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:59:14 PM
http://www.law.com/jsp/ihc/PubArticleFriendlyIHC.jsp?id=1143120309135




distorted assholic female logic

It is not MY logic, it is the logic of several judges, that makes it legal.
clambroth do the research nasty little boy. You gonna keep arguing with me now?
I did the research and it is legal. Looks like you're the dope.
In five minutes I found several cases where it was ruled legal.

In the case I gave the link to a man installed a keylogger on his wifes computer to catch her doing things and used the evidence in court during the divorce.
And yes it was legal. The judge ruled on it. Maybe he too used
"distorted assholic female logic".

Guys: don't do anything that you don't want your girlfriend to know.
Cause she can find out, like it or not.
 sleeplessingibsons
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 40
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:47:07 PM
First of all if he is doing that she has every right to dump hiss sorry butt. You have a girl right in front of you and your surfing porn? Im not sure but i think any woman would feel hurt by that and the cam thing is just too much. Secondly, Installing a keylogger on any persons computer. You must have their consent to do so. The owner of the computer must be told beforehand that a keylogger is being placed on their computer and MUST agree to it. If your friend did indeed place a keylogger on his computer without his FULL knowledge AND consent she did break the law. Having access to a computer and putting an invasive programme on it are two completly different things. Just because ive lent you my car doesnt mean you have the right to alter it or change some of its parts. Cases where it is husband and wife is not at issue here as being husband and wife the comp was probably considered jointly owned.boyfriend girlfriend is a different matter altogether. It all comes down to who is the owner of said property.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 41
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:55:17 PM
If you can find a case where someone was ruled a criminal for it
let me know.
 sleeplessingibsons
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 42
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:58:24 PM
re read my post ive edited it. Like i said it comes down to who owns the comp. If you think its legal to just install a keylogger on anyones comp your most certanly wrong!
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 43
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:01:22 PM
Can you post a webpage to show you are right, that someone was judged a criminal for using a keylogger on a computer they were authorized to use?

I found that a Federal Appeals Court ruled that they can legally be sold but
they cannot be sold with instructions for how to be remotely installed
by being attached to an email.
 sleeplessingibsons
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 44
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:03:08 PM
if your given the authority to USE a computer it doesnt mean you can install invasive programmes on it. your logic is flawed and you need to do a little more research yourself. What if you lent your boyfriend your car. given him full authority to use it and he placed a lowjack or some kind of gps system to track you? Would this be legal as well? NOPE! I guess you just dont get it. Oh well...
 sleeplessingibsons
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 45
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:06:40 PM
here is one of many cases out there. This one is a husband/wife case involving a keylogger. http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/blotter/entries/2009/03/16/wife_charged_with_hacking_husb.html

Get it now?
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 46
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:06:51 PM
We can argue all night but I am willing to do research and you so far have not.
It's not a matter of your opinion versus my opinion because our opinions don't matter. The only thing that matters is what judges have ruled on it.

 Reveal1K
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 47
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:06:58 PM
Plain and simple... if I elt someon use my computer, that's what it is; they can USE it. That doesn't mean they can install whatever they want on my computer.

When it comes down to it, you're fighting a losing battle. You know it's wrong, because I know for certain that you wouldn't like it if someone you were with started spying on you. And don't give me the "I don't have anything to hide!" B.S. either. I hope one day your friend knows how this guy felt having his privacy invaded.
 sleeplessingibsons
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 48
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:12:17 PM
I have done my research just copy and past the link above your post. So you make of it what you will. im done trying to enlighten you on the law.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 49
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:15:41 PM
She didn't have authority to use that computer in that example.
And how would you like it if your girlfriend/boyfriend was doing nude mutual masturbation on cam with lots of people every night and lying to you about it?
You would do what? Prefer not to know?

I liked the post from the lady about how her daughter saw the photos of her dad on the computer having sex with farm animals. Too bad the lady who posted that didn't do some investigating so she could protect her daughter from what he was doing. That would surely traumatize the girl for a long time.
 andyaa
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 50
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:20:49 PM

Can you post a webpage to show you are right


In the UK it would be

Computer Misuse Act 1990
CHAPTER 18

Unauthorised access to computer material .

(1) A person is guilty of an offence if— .

(a) he causes a computer to perform any function with intent to secure access to any program or data held in any computer; .
(b)the access he intends to secure is unauthorised; and .
(c) he knows at the time when he causes the computer to perform the function that that is the case. .

(2) The intent a person has to have to commit an offence under this section need not be directed at— .

(a) any particular program or data; .
(b) a program or data of any particular kind; or .
(c) a program or data held in any particular computer. .

(3) A person guilty of an offence under this section shall be liable on summary conviction to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months or to a fine not exceeding level 5 on the standard scale or to both.

I guess there would be similar statute in the US.

What the courts would consider would be, would the owner of the computer have authorised the person to have access to this material. From the information you have supplied, it would be unlikely that even though 'use' of the computer was granted, The covert use of the computer was not.

She is guilty of a very serious offence.
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