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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?      Home login  
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 sleeplessingibsons
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 51
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?Page 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
lol either your stubborn confused or just to dim to get what almost every person here is telling you. I suggest you re read my first post and the rest ive made. Ive had personal exp with this sort of matter and believe me you are wrong. Either way you just skip along and think this is legal all you want. But if you attempt this and are caught you will face the wrong side of the law. Im not saying you would attempt this but you just think about these posts if you do.

Im out.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 52
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:34:48 PM
Unauthorised access to computer material .

The woman I am talking about had full access to whatever was on the computer!

As I said we can argue forever but I would like to see if someone went to jail for
installing a keylogger on a computer that they had legal access to and authority over.
I don't see the point in continuing to argue but I WILL read any links that show someone being convicted of a crime--again---this is concerning a computer that she had permission to use.

 sleeplessingibsons
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 53
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:54:52 PM
The federal Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2511, which was enacted in 1986, guys, imposes criminal liability on one who intentionally intercepts, endeavors to intercept, or procures any other person to intercept or endeavor to intercept, any wire, oral, or electronic communication.49 states and the District of Columbia have statutes modelled after the federal statute.

The fact that you are married to or have permission to use someones computer does not give you the right to intercept communications such as, for example, your spouse's privileged communications with an attorney. Using keylogging software to capture a password or information that you do not otherwise know is, if you are in the United States, a violation of federal law and 98% likely to violate state law.

ta-da settled.
BTW i think her boyfriend is a moron for doing that but now i hope your clear on the law about this. Just google yourself about convictions but it is of no matter here...the point is and clearly stated that it is illegal plain and simple.
 andyaa
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 54
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 3:51:59 PM
OK your from Florida right, well read this link...

http://news.zdnet.com/2100-1009_22-141333.html
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 55
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:07:49 PM
She suspected something, did a little detective work and discovered the truth. Now she has to deal with it and move on. What an adult does on their own time is their business. Obviously his little fetish is going to require a more open minded girlfriend.

I can understand that she was able to tell that he logged into certain websites but just out of curiosity what on earth type of keystroke program proved he was wacking off?
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 56
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:13:44 PM
I'm glad that someone found out about the fact that what she did is a crime.
I had read about the husband who used a keylogger to spy on his wifes activies and that was not a crime. It must be ok if you are sharing a family computer because the judge in that case ruled it was admissable evidence in the divorce hearing.

I don't blame her for wanting to know if someone she is considering marrying is having cam sex every night with strippers. What if she had married him and then found out he has this addiction. That was my interest in this.

carolann0308 the program took screenshots constantly and on the screen she could see a window of his cam and him sitting there nude wacking off, along with the window of the stripper's cam and a full gynocological view of her with her fingers and other objects inserted.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 57
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/20/2009 2:50:42 PM
From MSG 35:



To the above poster, if you were in a relationship with someone who had a secret gambling problem would you want to find out about it? Or some other type of addiction that they kept hidden? People with addictions often keep them well hidden and lie about it.


I understand what you're trying to say... to answer your quetion absolutely I would want to know about it. BUT - If I am dating somenoe who has a "problem" that I suspect she is keeping from me, I am going to sit her down face to face ask her about it. Not, sneak around behind her back like a prying, untrusting snoop to "catch her in the act."

I am still amazed that I am the only on here who sees a problem with this behavoir. I UNDERSTAND you want to protect yourself and that you may want the truth - but how is it any more honest to set someone up without giving them the benefit of explaining themselves first - than that person lying about it to keep it secret?

I'm not defending him, and I am not bashing her, I am simply saying what she did was indeed wrong - no matter what she thinks she deserves. If she, or anyone else for that matter, has that much of a trust issue with another person - to they point they stoop to deception themselves - then they need not be in that relationship.

I'm not going to spy on you, snoop around in your personal life - I'll just ask you straight up and if you do lie, than I am out. The truth always, eventually comes out... you don't need to a snooping little detective to find it.
 Heathen Chemistry
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 58
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/20/2009 3:32:20 PM
Wow your friend is way lower than the guy. He did nothing wrong. His porn was legal and it is none of her business. She is a nosy, controlling freak.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 59
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/20/2009 4:04:42 PM
I did say that she asked him what he was doing and he said he just sat there watching TV at night and that he wasn't on the computer.
Ok I think we have established that she is the real villain here. Thanks everyone.
She has ended the relationship.
 anjelic
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 60
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/20/2009 4:31:01 PM
She should have snuck up on him, tinker toy in hand while entertaining himself
and put a steel toe boot in his A$$. Bye Bye.
Geeesh.
Addicts always lie.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 61
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:03:20 PM
How is he going to find a more broadminded woman if he won't admit doing it? He told her he doesn't do it even when she told him she knew about it.
Agreed, he is an addict. Rather than a more broadminded woman he needs one who accepts the lies.
 anjelic
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 62
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/21/2009 12:17:50 AM
Yes he needs a woman who accepts lies. (mom?)
Glad your friend is done with him. Did she have any kids at home?

That would have just fueled my anger big time, possibly causing head injuries.
I haven't had that happen (to my knowledge).
After one breakup I did wonder why I wasn't a bit more "nosey" after a few flags went up.
I won't sit in judgement of her methods although I don't think I would have gone that route, but who's to say? She did what she thought was needed at the time and got a big bang in the gut.
Rid herself of future big problems with that one.
 ic3y369
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 63
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/21/2009 11:39:45 AM
hmmm...
-he shouldnt be doing anything that she shouldnt know about anyways
-i understand that hes probably embarrassed about it and wouldnt want anyoen to know about his weirdass fetish
-being a snoop is another form of dishonesty
-who WOULD want someone who needs to know every single move they make?
-hes insecure about telling her this.. no one want thier loved ones finding something like that about them
-did she give him a reason to feel that way? did she redicule him or anything?
-if its meant to be she would have to accept the up AN downs its in the package...
-why do people feel the need to hide stuff anyways?

I cheated i fessed up
"sorry to tell you this and all nbut i did something that was unfair to you and i should have been more honest in the first place" you know that kind of thing? or like "i understand that i did you wrong and even "I" wouldnt stay with anyone who did that to me" puleezE! is there no honesty anymore?

why cant people accept their actions?

everything is easy if you just talk about it...

unless you just want an interesting story to tell or something
like whatever floats you boat!
 ic3y369
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 64
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/21/2009 11:42:44 AM
why doesnt she tell him to get his own computer where he can do whatsoever he wants with it?

she can just cut him off cant she?
lol

its hers by the way...
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 65
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/21/2009 12:03:41 PM
Farceur message #24

Reveal1K message #39

Fantastic responses!!!!

OP - Whether it is legal or illegal is not relevant to me personally....but I question someone's own security issues (in this case your friend) that she feels she must snoop in order to get what she is looking for. Did the end justify the means? I suppose it did. Still doesn't make it right in my opinion.

I would be very curious to get her boyfriend's response to all this.

But I am willing to bet the bank that she has been involved with people like this in her past, and probably will continue to do so - if you are so unsure of what your partner is doing that you feel you have to hijack their computer, what are you doing there in the first place?
 gunsnz
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 66
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/21/2009 6:17:26 PM
What make you think you have the right to put a Keylogger on his Computer, you sure show a lot of trust why didnt you just ask him????/
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 67
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/21/2009 6:19:51 PM
I had a GF once who went through my cell phone behind my back - read all my text messages, went through my phone log, everything. Granted I had nothing to hide. When I date someone I date them... not 10 other people. It didn't matter because it was the principle. She was single shortly after I found out.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 68
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/21/2009 6:57:36 PM
What your girlfriend did was wrong but I understand why she did it. I dated a man who admitted to jerking off to porn on a regular basis. Showed me movies he had paid to have made exclusively for him. Told me he had paid to have them send him their dirty underwear. "What did you do with those"? "I smelled and licked them". Yuck.
Okay, trying not to be a prude I excused his past behaviour. Then one day while logging onto his computer, with his permission, I find a few escorts on his favorites. We were now just friends, still, how long had he been seeing escorts? While seeing me?
I have no problem with men viewing porn occasionally. I do have a problem when they become obsessed with it. Puts their partners in a dangerous position.
Prying may be wrong but I'd sooner pry then be with a man who was getting his jollies somewhere else.
 newmexicoleo
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 69
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/22/2009 9:48:21 AM
I'm glad you got rid of her. I think she was insecure about herself and you don't need that in a woman.
 ic3y369
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 70
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/22/2009 10:59:29 AM
what are escorts?
 Heathen Chemistry
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 71
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/22/2009 12:03:26 PM

what are escorts?


Women that are paid a fee to spend time with clients. It is a legit business model that is used as a front for prostitution in many cases.
 Vincent_1984
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 72
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/22/2009 1:01:40 PM
What your friend did was wrong. Regardless of whether what he did was moral or not or whether what she did was legal or not, installing keylogging software on her boyfriends machine was a complete invasion of privacy.

Everyone has the right to privacy, whether they are single, dating or married, it's a basic human right. If he makes the decision to withhold some information from her, she should be able to respect that; just like he should respect her right to privacy.

The only time this right does not apply is if there is a reasonable doubt that this person is doing something illegal; which, from the sounds of it, he was not. (Most men aren't raised with the "sex is bad/perverted" notion constantly reinforced on their psyche. The majority of men who have access to porn will watch it and I doubt your friend was naive enough to think he wasn't watching any porn at all on the computer.)

Your friends' boyfriend probably shouldn't have lied about his porn habit but I can only guess that your friends negative views of porn made it impossible for him to talk openly about it and that he didn't want to lose her over it. Obviously the relationship between them would be much stronger without secrets but the information has to be revealed by the person from his/her own free-will. At this point, there are some major trust and communication issues at hand from both parties involved and, until those are resolved, their relation has a very small chance for success.
 ic3y369
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 73
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/25/2009 10:19:40 AM
no kewl... is it really? i guess it should be obvious right?
 DenverGal_24
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 74
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:06:04 PM
Wow. I've read most of the posts here. Is what your friend did wrong? That is very obvious that it is a matter of opinion. Is the guy wrong? He lied. That is a matter of opinion also.

The point that is being overlooked is the fact that this man lied about porn. He has an addiction. Sex addiction has nothing to do with sex. She could have been willing and able all night long but he is addicted to the thrill of doing something that is immoral and he gets a "high" trying not to get caught. It's a vicious shame cycle that has destroyed many people and many families. It is a control issue.

Good thing they weren't married. Good thing there weren't kids involved. My soon to be ex husband has suffered from sex addiction for 38 years. It's effects on our family have been devastating. He is now with a woman that "tolerates" it and doesn't think it's a problem. I hope she remembers to get tested for STD's every 6 months and checks the balances of her bank accounts, makes sure nothing is missing from the home that can be pawned, etc. You live in constant fear.
 athletic2fit
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 75
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:27:12 PM
OK, it really depends on how the keystroke logger software was configured to determine whether or not she violates the Wiretap act. If the keystroke logger sent the email while he was on the porn site then she violated the Wiretap act. If the keystroke logger was configured to send the email when he was asleep then, no, she did not violate the WireTap Act.
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