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 TopChuck
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 202
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How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?Page 21 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)

men should do this. men should do that. wtf do you do?
They appreciate us.

Understanding that the genders define being loved differently forces us to use a different strategy to 'earn' the loving we want to live fulfilled lives.

The reason we believe we're not getting something in return is that some women don't reciprocate by providing loving as we define it.

Cmdrfunk, your point is accurate, when the reciprocation is absent. The women who don't reciprocate became convinced that men were oppressing them, when all we want to do is love them and be loved in return.

There are two important ways to prevent loving:

1. The prevention of the natural tendency to love by both genders. This is accomplished by attacking the motives of either gender, when they express love. This is the 'lib' contribution to love destruction.

Men who anticipate the 'lib' reaction and can't count on being accepted, don't take the chance that women know how to be loved. They don't 'Chival'.

It's not that women want it both ways. It's that some women want it one way, learned from the 'lib' movement, based on their being oppressed, and other women want to be loved as their instincts define being loved.

It makes men, who take the chance on being chivalrous, neurotic. They're damned if they do and damned if they don't.

2. The belief that the definition of loving is the same for both genders. This usually occurs after one stops loving for some reason. Before that, loving is based on the natural instincts of both genders.

Usually it's the male who stops loving, because he reaches some plateau that makes him take a break. He's a hunter and after he makes the capture, he tends to relax and enjoy the fruits of his labor. He stops using the skills that enabled him to make the capture in the first place.

The reaction when the initial loving is interrupted is to try to show the other person how to love as an example for them to follow in loving them.

This "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." doesn't work because of the difference in definitions. It leads to role reversal in relationships, which leads to nastiness. Living our lives centered in our specific genders contributes to self actualization. Celebrating one's gender identity is a matter of finding one's 'gender center' and enjoying the self actualization that comes with that arrival.

We need to learn to "Do unto others as they would want us to do unto them." in relationships.

We have to understand loving to do that. Again, that's the path out of POF Purgatory.

Heed the call, Lovers! Follow me!

.
 The Real Gentleman
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 203
How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 9/10/2009 12:21:49 AM
Thanks to all who have responded with your answers and comments!!!
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 204
How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 9/19/2009 3:30:39 PM

men should do this. men should do that. wtf do you do?
They appreciate us.


Sorry but that is just not acceptable for most men.

How abut men start doing nothing for women and expect women to cook, do laundry, give back rubs?

In exchange we will appreciate women.

Sounds good?
 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 205
How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:55:50 PM
As much as I hate to say it, chivalry is dead in this day and age. It is intepreted as a courteous behavior allright, but not to all women. It would only pertain to gf's or wives.
 flyingstart
Joined: 5/15/2009
Msg: 206
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How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:29:41 PM
Chivalry existed in a strict sense when man was the bread winner.
How much "chivalry" is when competition shows up ? Maybe there is/was chivalry in the Donald Trump shows ?
 curiousaboutu77
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 207
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How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 10/5/2009 3:27:10 AM
I wouldn't call myself a person that engages in chivalry but i do enjoy being nice to people. When i open the door, let the other person through first and saying thank you when people do it for me. Help people with directions or whatever, it feels good to help people i think. We all live on this ball of rock together so why not make things easier for each other.
 Inego Montoya
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 208
How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 10/10/2009 1:06:44 AM
Yes, I do. I also believe thos of us that practice it will be dumped for "bad boys."
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